Are you one of those people who find it difficult to get along with most people? Do you find yourself lashing out at other people, arguing over coffee orders, or simply greeting a coworker? Or, do you just want to get along with other people to make life easier? Whatever the reason, you should try to make the other person feel that you really care and understand how they feel.
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Part 1 of 3: Creating a Good Impression
Step 1. Smile
Smiling is never considered excessive. While you may think that smiling won't affect how other people think of you, taking the time to smile at other people will show that you enjoy being around them. You will also appear to be warm and friendly at the same time easy to talk to. Therefore, when you are chatting or just passing by in front of people, try to smile. Plus, scientific research shows that smiling can actually make you feel happier. So, both parties enjoy the benefits!
Try to smile at at least 10 people a day. Once you get used to it, it will feel natural
Step 2. Be fully present
If you clearly show that you are fully engaged in the conversation and are not going anywhere, people will take an interest in you. Don't check your phone every five minutes, look around the room, fiddle with your nails, or talk about another meeting you have to attend because people will feel left out in the conversation. Instead, make time to make eye contact, ask other people questions, and make them feel like you're enjoying the moment together.
- It's hard to stop distractions and learn to focus on the present moment. Sometimes, the first step to take is to free yourself from distractions. If you are talking to a coworker, stay away from the computer. If you have a dinner date with a close friend, turn off the phone for a few hours.
- Pay attention to your interlocutor. Take the time to read his body language and facial expressions to see how he is feeling, rather than what is going on with the other people in the room.
Step 3. Develop positive behavior
Another easy way to get people to like you is to behave positively. If you give off positive energy and don't complain, don't make fun of other people, or don't be rude, then people will be more attracted to you because they feel excited about your presence. Try to focus on the good things in life and learn to laugh at the bad things. If you want to get along with other people, it will be easier if you face life with a smile instead of a frown.
- Every time you make a negative comment, make two or three positive comments to compensate. It's okay to make negative comments once in a while, but you should focus on the good stuff rather than the negative comments that make you boring.
- Another way to stay positive is to try to compliment others more often. This can create more positive energy in the conversation and lead to compliments in return.
- Another way to develop positive behavior is to always be around positive people. Their patterns of thinking and behavior will be contagious and help you get along with others. Bringing friends who are fun and positive can also help you get along with other people.
Step 4. Get to know the person you are talking to
If you want to make a good impression on other people, you have to learn how to read their minds quickly to understand what kind of person you are dealing with. If you realize you're dealing with conservatives from the southern United States, your subject may be quite different from what you're talking about with hippies from Berkeley; make sure you consider the other person before starting to discuss something that may be controversial. If you want to get along with other people, it's important to know what they want and avoid being heard so you can create a positive first impression.
- Watch how one person responds to another to see what things catch his eye and what don't. If the person is impressed by the other person's rude jokes, you'll know that there's nothing wrong with that kind of humor.
- Also be careful with the age of the person. Older people may not like to hear comments about how old you are when you are ten years younger; younger people may not understand any of your cultural references.
- The level of education also comes into play here. If you talk to someone with a doctorate in English literature, he or she may be offended if you try to explain who Ernest Hemingway is.
Step 5. Keep the conversation simple
Another skill you need to have to make a good first impression is knowing how to make a simple conversation. Even if you think it's silly, simple conversations will lead you to deeper conversations and actually connecting with other people. So it's important to know how to chat with new people the first time you meet them. All you have to do is ask fun questions to get to know them a little, learn to joke around, and get comfortable with new people's personalities. Here are some pointers on how to create effective simple conversations:
- Compliment objects that other people wear or wear. This will provoke a good conversation.
- Don't be afraid to discuss the weather. Discussing the weather can lead to conversations about weekend plans or even your hobbies.
- Ask questions that require more responses than just a “yes” or “no” answer. This can help liven up the conversation.
- Don't be too stressed by the silence that causes discomfort. Instead of commenting on it, ask a simple question or make a statement to divert the conversation.
Step 6. Show genuine interest in the other person
One of the easiest ways to make a good first impression is to show genuine interest as soon as you shake their hand. You don't have to ask a million questions, but show an interest in their ideas, hobbies, or background without appearing overly curious. In fact, people like it when other people show an interest in them. An attitude of wanting to know more than just talking about yourself can help you get along with other people.
- The best way to show genuine interest is to really listen, not just pretend it's sincere, until it's your turn to speak.
- If someone gives you good news, make sure they realize you really care and don't ignore them.
- If someone is an expert in a field, ask about that skill to show that you are interested in what he has to say.
Part 2 of 3: Be a Good Speaker
Step 1. Let the good things speak for themselves
In order to get along with other people in conversation, you shouldn't brag about how great you are at work, playing tennis, or writing novels. If you are really good at something, over time people will be able to see it for themselves or hear it from other people. If you dominate the conversation by talking about how great you are, it will make it difficult for you to get along with other people because they think you are only self-absorbed; attitude that will make other people bored or disturbed.
- You can talk about your interests without talking about how great you are in that area. There's no need to mention the award you've received as it will irritate the other person a bit.
- Instead, praise the good in others. They will be much more interested.
Step 2. Think before you speak
The key to being a good speaker is taking the time to think about your words before they come out of your mouth. If you're one of those people who think before they speak or even think by speaking, it's time to hold back and think about how your words will impact those around you. That way, you can avoid attacking other people. This trick is also great because you may notice you've said something a little silly or even boring to those around you.
Spend a few seconds crafting questions in your head if you know this conversation is going to be a sensitive one. It's better to act that way than to say something thoughtlessly that you will later regret
Step 3. Don't dominate the conversation
Good speakers never dominate a conversation; on the other hand, these people know how to get other people to talk and make them feel comfortable. If you want to get along with other people, you can't keep talking about yourself; on the other hand, you need to talk enough to make it interesting and successful, but make sure not to overwhelm half the conversation when you're dealing with the other person so that they don't feel bored or feel ignored.
- If you're in a group conversation, you can tell a funny anecdote or two, but make sure the other person is contributing to the conversation. Let the other person talk if they have something to say and don't interrupt just to prove them wrong.
- Even if someone says something slightly wrong, you should avoid the temptation to argue over every little thing they say. Arguing won't win you over your friends and won't help you get along with other people.
Step 4. Avoid topics that might trigger disagreements
Another way to get along with other people easily is to avoid topics that can irritate other people. Topics include abortion, same-sex rights, general political views, and controversial views on marriage or child-rearing. When you get to know the other person better enough, you can discuss more serious topics with them. However, when it's your first time engaging in a conversation with the person, you should stick to fun topics like weekend plans, hobbies, or your favorite band.
If someone is talking about a sensitive topic, and you can control wisely to switch from that subject to something more enjoyable, that ability will make it easier for you to get along with other people
Step 5. Be tactful
Wisdom is key when it comes to how to get along with people in a conversation. Having wisdom means choosing your words and timing carefully. For example, if you want to give someone personal advice, you should do it when you're alone so that person doesn't feel embarrassed; the same is true when telling someone that something is stuck in their teeth. You should avoid making careless comments, such as saying “Marriage is the most important part of life” to someone who has just been divorced, and you should always be sensitive to other people's feelings before speaking.
- Another way to be tactful is not to reveal too much personal information to people you don't know well. Even if you think this chat about personal information will help you get along with other people, it can actually be avoided.
- Wise people also recognize cultural differences when talking to other people. This can help you see if your comments will be well received or not.
Step 6. Look for common ground
Another useful way to be able to chat with other people is to find common bonds so that you are closer to the person you are talking to. When talking to other people, keep your ears open for clues that you may have similar interests; For example, if it turns out that you and he are from the same area, it might be a sign that you're on the same sports team. While you don't have to have anything in common with the person you're talking to, find a thing or two to connect with, whether it's your love of the television series The Bachelor or your obsession with pastry cooking.
Even if you and the other person disagree on almost everything in the world, if you are both fans of the 49 American soccer club, you can build a relationship based on that. Never underestimate how important it is to have something that creates a bond
Part 3 of 3: Be Understanding
Step 1. Choose a debate
Another way to get along with people is to be picky when you really want to start an argument or dispute. You may feel that every little conflict is important to talk about, but in reality, it may be best to keep your mouth shut. When you're talking to a coworker or new acquaintance, there's often a trivial reason that sparks a disagreement whether it's about politics, sports, or how to fairly share the bill for a meal at a restaurant. While it's important to maintain your self-respect, knowing when you need to guard your tongue is equally important.
- Before starting to argue with other people, ask yourself if it's really worth it, and what you will gain from proving it. Sometimes it's necessary to maintain self-respect, but other times, it's easier to just hang out with other people.
- There are some arguments you can't win, and it's much better to come to terms with a disagreement than to start a controversy.
Step 2. Be kind to others
Those who find it difficult to get along tend to find other people annoying unless they can prove otherwise. People who hang out a lot tend to see and even assume the good in others, when they don't have enough information. You should try to think that every new person you meet is a nice individual unless they make a really scary impression; give others enough time to prove themselves and you will find it much easier to get along with them.
- Give someone at least two or three chances to win your heart. Not everyone has a good first impression.
- If the other person says something negative about your new acquaintance, give them a chance and don't rush to belittle them.
Step 3. Apologize if you make a mistake
To be genuinely understanding, you have to recognize when you've made a mistake and be ready to admit it. When you make offensive comments or are half an hour late on a dinner date, if you want to be good at getting along with other people, you have to try to apologize for the mistake very seriously. This step shows that you have kindness and you don't want to hide your faults. Other people will find it easier to get along with you if they know you don't think you're perfect.
- If you're apologizing, look the other person in the eye to show your sincerity. Don't look away or check your phone because they'll think you don't mean it.
- One of the keys to getting along with other people is to avoid repeating mistakes. Apologizing is one thing and the next is doing it.
Step 4. Put yourself in someone else's shoes
One of the main ways you can be kind and get along better with other people is to practice putting yourself in the other person's shoes before having a conversation with them. Think about how the other person thinks and feels, then adjust your conversation with that person. While it's impossible to know exactly what's going on in another person's mind, trying to try it can help you get along with other people because you'll be trying to have an interesting conversation with them.
- For example, if your coworker is grieving the loss of a family member, you need to be aware of it, treat it with sensitivity, and don't talk too much about it.
- If your friend is getting married in two weeks, now might not be the right time to take your emotional problems out on her as it might overwhelm her.
Step 5. Take time to thank the other person
Showing gratitude is one of the best ways to be understanding. Take the time to thank others for what they have done for you, either by writing a thank you card to your boss or sending flowers to a friend for helping you clean the apartment. Gratitude is very important if you want to get along with other people.
Don't underestimate the power of a thank you letter or card. As old-fashioned as this may sound, this letter or card can really show the other person how much they mean to you
Step 6. Remember important details
One way to show people that you really care is to remember the important details they have shared with you. If you remember someone's name after meeting them a few minutes ago, they will like you more. If you remember the names of his siblings, he will be more impressed and will likely be prejudiced against you. Pay attention to what other people are saying so you can show how much you care by mentioning those things at a later time.
- If you're one of those people who quickly forget everything that other people tell you, chances are people will be frustrated or angry with you.
- If you really care, you can write down some important details that the new acquaintance said so you can remember them at a later time.
- Try to remember birthdays and anniversaries. Knowing these things makes it easier for others to get along with you knowing you care.
Step 7. Make the other person feel good about themselves
Another way to get along is to try to make other people feel comfortable with him. Give genuine compliments about her new haircut or sense of humor if you mean it instead of pretending to compliment. Let your face light up when someone passes in front of you instead of looking displeased to see it. Ask someone in their area of expertise for advice to show that you really value their opinion.
- People hang out with other people they can feel comfortable with, and tend to avoid other people who embarrass them. Very simple.
- In the end, it's much more important to be attracted to other people than to get their attention. Don't worry too much about trying to impress other people and instead, focus on being caring for them.
