After you manage to get a good boyfriend, the next thing you have to do is keep him. The simplest and best thing to keep your boyfriend is to make him feel happy. That doesn't mean you have to fulfill what he wants, like something you don't like. Instead, make your boyfriend feel happy by showing him that you understand him, care about him, and appreciate him for who he is. Making yourself happy is also not wrong, because a boyfriend who loves you will be happy if he knows how much he can make you happy.
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Method 1 of 3: Showing You Care
Step 1. Praise him
No matter what he says or does, your boyfriend (just like anyone else) loves to hear good things about him. We all seek justification for our appearance and actions, especially from those we care about. It's good for yourself, your dignity, and your boyfriend's happiness.
Don't bother. If you like his laugh, tell him. If you like her hairstyle or the way she treats other people, tell her. If you can praise him for things you know are very important to him, like his basketball skills or math scores, all the better
Step 2. Tell him that you appreciate him
Relationships are the result of hard work, and require effort from both parties. Pay attention to the things he does for you and for your relationship, and show him that you care and are grateful for them.
Does he do a side job so he can take you out on a nice date or save up to buy an apartment? Does he want to pick you up so you don't have to walk home on a rainy day? Is he friendly to your mother? Specifically tell him, "I'm glad you did [this] for me and for us."
Step 3. Show your affection
Even if your boyfriend doesn't like showing affection in public, there are always small ways to show him how you feel. Actions always speak louder when it comes to showing affection.
- Hold her hand, kiss her for no reason. If he's not the type of person who likes holding hands, a few times touch your hand to his, and or maybe a quick kiss on the cheek.
- Even the modern guy likes to feel like he can be a protector, so leaning his head on his shoulder or sitting on his lap can make him feel like he's protecting you in his arms.
Step 4. Pay attention to it
Spending time together is fine, but make sure you focus on her at least in the moment. That means you put down the phone, look him in the eye, and listen to him talk, or show him that you're there for him.
- Make your time together a quality time-one that you both enjoy and will remember. Life is busy and seems to be getting busier. So, don't underestimate the time you two spend together. Make a surprise trip. Take surfing lessons together. Sit down and have a conversation without distraction.
- According to researcher on respectful relationships, John Gottman, healthy relationships usually have a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. The more often you show interest, concern, appreciation, and affection, which all begin with paying attention, the more likely you are to hit the "magic number" of positive interactions.
Method 2 of 3: Show That You Understand It
Step 1. Speak the language
Over the past twenty years, many experts and laypeople alike have embraced the relational concept of researcher Gary Chapman, that everyone "speaks" with one or more "love languages." By knowing the language your boyfriend uses, you will be better equipped to communicate effectively and show affection.
- Chapman's five "love languages" include: words of affirmation; quality time; present; the act of serving; and physical contact. Depending on their primary language, people will be more receptive to acts of love according to their love language category. For example, a person whose love language is "quality time" will respond better to being together on a long weekend than a voucher at their favorite store.
- Pay attention to how your boyfriend responds to the ways you show affection. Once you know what language he speaks, adjust your loving actions towards him. He will feel and appreciate your affection more.
Step 2. Be honest with her
No boy or girl or anyone else in a relationship likes to feel distrusted. Being honest, even though difficult, is one of the best ways to show trust.
- Sometimes the truth hurts, and it irritates him when you speak the truth. But behind the pain there will be an appreciation that you trust him enough to be honest with him.
- Admitting your infidelity, for example, may be one of the hardest times to be honest. Don't delay indefinitely, but wait until you're both calm and able to talk without interruption. Choose your words carefully (try the previous exercise if this helps), but don't be so vague that your point is not clear. Start with something like "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you need to know the truth," then admit your mistake without making excuses. Apologize and explain, but don't beg or demand forgiveness; say you hope he can forgive you.
- If you are afraid to tell your boyfriend the truth about something because you think it will make him break up with you, or are worried he will do something hurtful, then you need to question the importance of the relationship. If the relationship can't be built on trust and honesty, it won't continue, and you won't have a happy ending.
Step 3. Give him space
Of course, a good boyfriend wants to spend more time with you. But he still wants and needs time for himself or with his friends. As long as he doesn't always ignore you, let him enjoy it.
- You yourself enjoy time to yourself, don't you? Remember, trust must be two-way. If you don't want him to have the space to do his own thing, why would you expect the same?
- Every strong relationship needs personal space. Some people need more personal space than others. As long as he's with you when you need him-that is, when you need him, to ask for a ride or a place to lean on when you need support-you don't have to worry. Don't make him with you, make him want to be with you.
Step 4. Don't expect to change it
Your boyfriend isn't perfect, no matter how great he is. No wonder you will think about the little things that you want to change about him to make him better. You can inspire people to change, or help them change, but don't expect them to change. If you can't accept him as he is, don't be his girlfriend.
Maybe your boyfriend is lazy, or always late, or if he jokes too much sometimes. You can talk to your boyfriend about your concerns, and give him support if he wants to be more organized, more trustworthy, or more sensitive. However, if you feel that you need to change who he is, you may not be with the right person
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Male Stereotypes
Step 1. Make him happy
Yes, a lot of guys like good food, love watching sports, and almost think about sex. But you don't have to try to please "lots of guys"-you need to make your boyfriend happy. Showing that you know his main wants and needs is probably the best way to win a guy's heart.
The suggestions in this section may or may not apply to your boyfriend. Don't take it for granted, and trust your own best judgment
Step 2. Take care of your appearance
Your boyfriend might just love to hang out with you while you're sweating, but deep down he probably wants to see you trying to "dress up" for him at least once in a while. At the very least, maintaining basic hygiene and showing that you care about your appearance in public will make her happier.
Yes, it's superficial, but your boyfriend will almost certainly want to be with you partly because he's interested in how you look, and he wants to continue to be interested in it. The longer you are together, his love for you as a whole person will make your outer appearance look beautiful to him no matter what happens. However, your efforts to appear attractive shows that you care about yourself and the person
Step 3. Make a nice meal for her and let her watch a sports game
Sunday afternoons are usually the ideal time for many guys. If your boyfriend likes good food and football games, indulge him every now and then. Maybe he wants you to accompany him to the game, or maybe he wants to watch it with his friends. Use your knowledge of him to decide what's best.
- Of course, maybe your boyfriend doesn't like exercise and is on a strict diet. As already mentioned, this is not “one size fits all” advice. However, the bigger principle is-sometimes give your boyfriend something that makes your boyfriend happy, even if it pisses you off a bit-applies to most types of guys.
- All relationships require sacrifice and compromise. Sometimes you have to let him do things his way, which is different from your instincts. Of course, you deserve to expect the same from him too.
Step 4. Satisfy the desire
Yes, we're talking about intimate relationships here. Most guys think about sex a lot, and really want it. Chances are, no matter how much (or how often) you give, he will want more. While you should never feel compelled to do something you're not ready to do, satisfying his desires at any level of intimacy is part of making him happy.
- Many guys have an uncanny ability to ignore tiredness, stress, or all sources of obstruction or trouble when there's an opportunity for affectionate action. Your boyfriend will probably be in a "good mood" more often than you are. Try to fulfill his desires in the middle.
- Of course, no matter how long your relationship is, no matter what you did and didn't do, you always have the right to refuse. If he can't accept it, find a new girlfriend.
