Have you ever seen someone enter a room and all eyes were on him? People like this usually have charisma so they can grab the attention of many people. The good news is that you can be a charismatic person! For that, learn how to build self-confidence, make others feel valued, and improve verbal and nonverbal communication skills.
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Method 1 of 4: Building Confidence
Step 1. Focus on the things that make you like yourself
Other people will like you if you like yourself. Finding out your strengths, talents, and what makes you feel valuable enables you to appreciate yourself. Eliminate self-doubt by writing down all the advantages you have.
- Make a list by noting all the positive traits, talents, and successes you've had. To make it easier, ask your loved ones what they like about you.
- Highlight your strengths. For example, do eye makeup like "cat eyes" to make your beautiful eyes look more attractive, or wear a dress to accentuate your muscular legs.
Step 2. Learn to think positively
A positive personality makes people attracted to him and feel happy with his presence. Radiate a positive aura by being optimistic, finding the best solution when facing problems, and being able to motivate others. See challenges and difficulties as opportunities for self-improvement, rather than as obstacles. Do the following tips so you can think positively:
- Eliminate negative thoughts by having a positive mental dialogue. Once you realize you're thinking negative things, such as "I'm afraid of failure," think positive and then say to yourself, "I'm going to take this opportunity to learn and improve myself."
- Make sure you are always in a positive environment to stay positive.
- Improve your mood by finding reasons to laugh, such as watching comedy movies, making jokes, or telling jokes. Laughter every day makes the mood more positive.
- Remember all the things you are grateful for by writing them down each day.
- Fix unpleasant aspects of life. If you start to feel less confident, remember the progress you've made!
Step 3. Wear clothes that make you look good
Clothing shows others how well you value yourself and shapes other people's perceptions of you the way you want them to. In addition, the clothes worn affect the mood. So choose clothes that make you look great, are very confident, and make other people see you the way you want them to.
- Wear clothes according to your size and body shape. Choose colors and fashion models that make you look more attractive.
- Do not choose clothes with certain models because you want to be considered following the trend. Wearing clothes just to keep up with fashion makes you feel and look uncomfortable.
Step 4. Think of your past successes as a way to boost your confidence for a while
When you think about success, your brain produces oxytocin, the chemical that makes you feel good about yourself. If you feel inferior, the hormone oxytocin can increase self-confidence for a moment. Before socializing, remember the successes you've had.
For example, save a photo on your phone that reminds you of 3 successes you've had. Look at photos when you arrive at the banquet hall or just before an important meeting
Step 5. Take a presentation course to boost your confidence
This ability makes you feel comfortable when appearing in front of an audience and able to think or speak spontaneously. Taking a course or joining a community to practice giving presentations in a supportive environment makes it easier for you to leave your comfort zone. Apart from that, this activity is so much fun!
Search the internet for information about this training, for example by accessing the meetup.com website or Facebook
Method 2 of 4: Making Others Feel Appreciated
Step 1. Keep electronic devices away when interacting with other people
Your interlocutor will feel slighted if you are busy fiddling with your phone while he or she is talking to you. Silence the ringing of your cell phone or keep it in your pocket or bag. Also, don't keep looking at your watch or other device. Give your full attention to the person you are communicating with.
Set aside time to check your phone, for example saying goodbye to the restroom so you can check your phone
Step 2. Listen carefully when other people talk about their experiences
Focus on what he's saying, instead of thinking about what you want to say. When he's talking, show that you're still listening by nodding your head and giving affirmations, such as saying "Yes," "That's very interesting," or "Wow!"
- Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. Listen to the responses given wholeheartedly.
- Paraphrase what he's saying to show that you understand what he just said.
Step 3. Give the other person sincere compliments
Expressing kindness or appreciating others makes him feel happy and appreciated. Be specific about what you're complimenting to make the compliment feel more meaningful. For example, "You spoke fluently during your presentation this morning," instead of simply saying, "Your presentation was good."
- Complimenting someone's appearance makes them feel proud and like you, but make sure the situation is right, especially at work.
- Provide support and motivation to others by praising their work, success, and talents.
Step 4. Memorize the names of people you just met
When you meet someone, say their name again to memorize them. When chatting, say his name so he knows you haven't forgotten. In addition to making the other person feel valued, you show a desire to get to know him better.
The best way to memorize a new friend's name is to say the name several times during a chat
Step 5. Show empathy to the other person
Think about why other people say or do something. Try to understand his perspective. Imagine what it would be like if you went through the same thing. Show concern for others about what they are going through by understanding their feelings and listening to their stories.
- Ask him how he feels and then listen with all your heart.
- Don't judge other people because they solve problems in their own way. Everyone is unique because they lead a different life.
- Tell an experience that made you feel the same way.
Step 6. Tell us about the challenges you have faced and how to overcome them
Use life experiences to inspire others. In addition to appearing successful and accomplished, this shows your struggle so that you are able to overcome challenges well.
Never complain if you face problems or share various issues in your daily life. You just need to explain the efforts made to overcome the difficulties
Method 3 of 4: Communicating Well
Step 1. Learn small talk
Overcome the discomfort of opening a conversation with small talk. Charismatic individuals understand how to communicate with everyone. Think of some interesting subjects to make small talk with and then practice in the mirror or make a video to improve the quality of the conversation.
For example, start the conversation by discussing the weather, activities in the city, a sports team you support, favorite music, holiday activities, or seasons
Step 2. Use humor to build relationships with other people
Tell witty stories, jokes, or use your experience as a joke to make others feel comfortable and happy in your presence.
- Don't overuse humor, but don't forget humor when speaking or giving a speech.
- For example, start your presentation with a joke or tell a humorous story during a speech at a party.
Step 3. Be a good storyteller
Storytelling is a way to attract attention and make you seem more attractive. If you want to talk about yourself, do it while telling a story. Convey personal experiences with a lively style of speech, appropriate body movements, and interesting facial expressions to keep others entertained.
Improve your storytelling skills by taking acting classes. Actors and charismatic people use the same technique to grab the audience's attention and provoke emotion. Learn how to use inflection (changes in the form of words that show grammatical relationships), intonation of voice, gestures, and facial expressions to make stories more interesting
Step 4. Stand up for your idea, instead of doubting it
Many people succumb to uncertainty. So, make sure you stand firm by believing in your decisions and opinions. Explain to the other person that you know what to do, even if you can't be sure of success. If your decision is wrong, evaluate and determine another way.
- Even if you're not completely sure, other people will find you more charismatic if you feel confident about your decision. Use the available information to make the best decision. If it turns out to be wrong, do something else.
- For example, instead of saying, "My plan might work," you could say, "I'm sure my plan will work out." The second sentence shows that you are capable of putting together and executing a plan well, but the first sentence states that you are not at all sure whether the plan will work.
Step 5. Show enthusiasm for what you are saying
People who have enthusiasm usually seem more attractive. Don't talk without thinking. Convey an idea that you believe in. Show enthusiasm for your actions and words and invite others to share the joy.
Live life doing what you are most passionate about. This method makes you seem more attractive. Just ignore the things you are not interested in
Method 4 of 4: Using Positive Body Language
Step 1. Make eye contact with the other person
Eye contact draws people to you and shows that you are attracted to them. When you enter a room, look into the eyes of the people there and make eye contact when talking to someone.
If you have trouble making eye contact, practice with your loved one until you feel comfortable. Then, make eye contact with people you don't know and extend the duration little by little
Step 2. Lean slightly forward while chatting
This way of showing that you are interested in what he has to say by giving him your full attention and showing that you are focused on what is going on.
- When talking while standing or sitting, remind yourself to lean forward slightly.
- Don't sit leaning back because you seem disinterested in the conversation going on.
Step 3. Don't cross your arms to show openness through body language
Crossing your arms makes you seem closed off to other people. You are open if you let your arms relax at your sides. Also, use gestures that show openness.
Charismatic people are open personalities. Other people will avoid you if you close yourself off
Step 4. Smile when interacting with other people
Smiling makes other people want to interact with you because your face looks brighter and more pleasant. Practice smiling so that your smile is more natural when chatting.
Don't smile when discussing a scary or sad topic, such as illness or death. Such behavior is considered impolite
Step 5. Do lots of gestures to get the other person's attention and emphasize your ideas
This method makes you appear more active so that people are interested in paying attention to you. Speak while waving your hands to explain what you are saying.
When practicing using gestures, do it in the mirror or make a video
Step 6. Get in the habit of maintaining good posture
Stand straight while pulling your shoulders back slightly, straightening your head, and looking forward. Do not slouch when sitting, standing, or walking.
Stand in front of a mirror to check your posture or make a video of your walking around the room to make sure your posture is always straight
Step 7. Master the personal area
You have the right to have a personal area just like anyone else. You don't attract attention, so it's even harder to be a charismatic person if you sit snuggled up because other people don't see you. Extend your arms and straighten your body to master the personal area needed.
Do a hobby activity to learn to master a personal area, for example by practicing self-defense
Tips
- Join the Toastmasters Club to develop communication and leadership skills with people who share common interests.
- Don't wait until you have confidence to sound confident. Use the motto "Fake it 'til you make it" to build confidence!
- Learn to be honest, but kind. You're not an attractive person if you don't want to express your thoughts and feelings honestly.
- Don't be alone when socializing. Invite others to chat or engage in conversation.
