Entertaining your boyfriend can be a tough thing to do, especially if you feel like you've tried everything but still can't make him smile. While there are all sorts of quirky things you can plan and say to make her feel better, at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you're there for her and can show her how much you care about her.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Knowing What to Do
Step 1. Spend some time with your friends if you think it will help them feel better
If your boyfriend is the type of person who prefers to be alone or alone with you when he's upset, it's a good idea not to invite him to a party or invite friends to meet him. However, if he tends to get his "energy" by meeting other people and is always laughing and interested when surrounded by people, casual gatherings with friends can make him feel better.
- As much as possible, do not serve alcoholic beverages at events that are made/held. Although by drinking alcohol he can forget about his problems for a while, in the end he will feel more and more uncomfortable. After all, alcohol is a depressant.
- If you and your boyfriend are out with other friends while he's feeling upset, try to be sensitive to his needs. If he wants to come home early, you have to respect his wishes.
Step 2. Play a board game
Who says you're too old to play games like Monopoly or Snakes and Ladders? Choose a toy that you and your boyfriend enjoyed playing with when you were both little, or (at least) a board game that you still play occasionally. After that, spend a night playing with him and having fun together (you can also invite some friends if you want). Make popcorn or bring a snack (eg Chiki Ball, Cheetos, or Oreos) that remind you both of your childhood, and make the night a fun one.
- This method is especially effective if your boyfriend is not a very competitive person when it comes to playing the game. Don't let him make him more upset because he keeps losing in the game of monopoly.
- You can also visit shopping centers like Yogya, Hypermart, or other stores with him and ask him to choose the game he wants. As silly as it sounds, it can really keep him entertained!
Step 3. Do what he always wanted to do
Think about something he's always wanted to do or try (like visiting a new pizza restaurant or watching Kimi no Nawa). As long as it's easy to do and doesn't require a lot of emotional energy, surprise him by spending an afternoon doing something he's always wanted to do. In this way, he will realize your concern for him.
Of course you can't force it. Do not let you book a place at an expensive restaurant that your lover used to want to visit, while he is not in a good mood. However, if there are simple, relaxing activities you can do together, try them
Step 4. Invite him out of the house
If your boyfriend needs comforting after a less serious problem, one of the best things you can do is take him outside. Being around people, breathing fresh air, and letting the sun's rays touch his face can have a huge impact on his mood. In this way, he will not feel alone. If he had been sitting in a dark room for a long time and harbored his annoyance, of course he would feel annoyed. However, if you take him outside, even for a short walk, it can have a big (positive) impact on his mood.
- It's a good idea to set a short goal rather than just taking him out for a walk. The purpose of your proposed activity will seem clearer to him if you, for example, take him for a walk and enjoy a cup of coffee at a nearby shop, or just go shopping.
- If both of you are doing something indoors (eg reading), try doing it outside. After that, try to invite him to read in the garden so that there is no impression that he has to spend a lot of his "energy".
Step 5. Try exercising together
Invite your lover to do activities such as hiking, running, walking, playing frisbee or just practicing kicking a ball. Regardless of the activity you do, the most important thing is that you can trigger the production of endorphins in his body and make him want to do physical activity (even if it seems light). In addition, working out together at the gym for half an hour can improve his mood. If he's upset, but still has the "spirit" to go somewhere else, try to spend some time working out together to keep him entertained.
- When your boyfriend is upset, there's a good chance he will stay in one place, eat unhealthy foods, and don't really pay much attention to his body. Therefore, exercising and doing physical activity together can pull him out of an unhealthy lifestyle.
- If he seems very weak and tired, he may not be in the mood to exercise or do other physical activities that are more strenuous than short walks. If he looks like that, you shouldn't force him to do strenuous physical activity.
Step 6. Show your affection and affection, only if he wants to
The intimacy (in any form) shown doesn't always make him feel better. He may also feel worse if you act like the only way to make him feel better is to make out. However, the affection you show can still make him entertained, as long as you show it in the right way. Give him hugs and kisses, and hug or cuddle your lover so he doesn't feel alone. Hold her hand, touch her shoulder, stroke her hair, or do whatever makes her feel better.
If your boyfriend is really feeling down and wants to be alone, you shouldn't force yourself to make out with him. Pay attention to how he responds to your touch. If he responds positively and draws closer to you, try showing him more affection. However, if he tends to stay away, for now it's a good idea to not show him too much physical affection
Step 7. Make her favorite snack
Another way to cheer up your sweetheart is to make her favorite treat as a surprise for her. You can, for example, order food from his favorite Thai restaurant, make brownies, give him an ice cream sundae, or even invite him over and invite him to make his own pasta dish. This not only spoils his tongue, but also reflects and shows how much you love and care for him.
- If he's alone at home, you can visit him and bring him his favorite treat to keep him entertained.
- If he's really depressed, there's a good chance he won't eat much (or have a big appetite). However, if he's upset because of bad test scores or things that aren't that serious (and temporary), his favorite snack can be the best "cure" for his annoyance.
Step 8. Have a picnic together
Take your loved one to the park, grass area, or even the backyard and have a simple and sweet picnic with him. Make her favorite sandwich or snack, bring her a snack that she likes, and prepare a soft drink or other drink she likes. You don't have to prepare a perfect and elaborate picnic as long as he can see your efforts to make him feel better. A picnic like this can be the perfect midday surprise when he's feeling upset or depressed.
- You don't have to try very hard to make a romantic picnic. It's even more important that the picnic is fun and relaxing, and that he can really enjoy the picnic.
- Bring some comic books, sports magazines, or something he likes to make the picnic even more fun. These items can also make him more amused if he doesn't want to talk too much.
Step 9. Watch her favorite old movie
Invite your loved one over to your house, make popcorn and prepare cinema-style snacks (eg chocolate). After that, ask him to choose a favorite childhood movie to watch together. You can give him a choice of films such as Home Alone, Jumanji, Doraemon, Digimon, or other films that he used to watch as a child and he hasn't watched in a long time. It doesn't matter if the film seems silly or is no longer popular; it actually makes the experience of watching movies more enjoyable.
Setting up a comfortable home theater for her can be a better option than taking her to the cinema, especially if she's feeling uninspired to travel or be in a crowd
Step 10. Try to understand when he needs some alone time
When he's upset, of course you want to do whatever you can to cheer him up and make him feel better. However, sometimes the best thing you can do is to understand the situation and give him some time to be alone, and reassure himself that he will feel better. Don't force her to do too much or pressure her to get her in a good mood. This can actually make him feel even worse.
- Even if you feel that your boyfriend will only feel better if he is with you, he may actually feel more depressed because he feels that you are trying too hard to comfort him, while his mood doesn't change. He may want some alone time so he can straighten out his feelings, and you should respect his wishes.
- Another possibility is that he wants you to stay with him, but he doesn't really have much else to do. If the situation is like this and he's too upset to do anything other than eat or talk to you, you shouldn't force him to do anything else.
Part 2 of 3: Knowing What to Say
Step 1. Talk to her about her feelings
If he's feeling upset, the best thing to do is talk to him about how he feels. This kind of conversation can make him feel better because he can express his frustration and has someone who cares about him and understands what he's going through. You can't force him and ask him to talk a lot in a stressful situation, but you can let him know that he can tell you how he feels. In this way, he will feel comforted and helped to deal with his emotions.
- If he gets very angry or emotional when he talks to you about his feelings, you can end the conversation and take a break. He doesn't have to tell everything at once.
- When he talks to you, listen reflectively to what he is saying. This means that you need to listen to what he really wants to say and repeat what he's saying with his words to show that you really care about him and understand the situation he's in. Make sure he's done talking before you say anything. Also, don't interrupt him or give him advice if he doesn't ask for it.
- Make eye contact, stay away from distractions, and make sure he knows he has all your attention.
Step 2. Let him know that you will still be there for him
Explain that you want to listen to what he has to say or just give him support, even when he doesn't feel like talking much. Your presence is more important than anything so show him that you care and are there for him when he needs you. Explain that you care about him and want to comfort him, and make him realize that you really want him to feel better. This doesn't mean that you have to do a lot of activities with him; just show that you want to spend your time with him.
- Show that you are there for him and confirm that when you meet him in person. You also need to confirm the same when you are not with him and contact him by phone.
- Keep in mind that he may feel “self-conscious” about the irritation he is feeling. Therefore, it is important for you to make him understand that you are there for him, no matter what.
Step 3. Know when he doesn't feel like talking
Although by talking to him and listening to his problems, you can make him feel better, sometimes he feels so overwhelmed or sad that he can't talk about his sadness. If that's the case, don't force him to talk about his feelings, ask lots of questions, or try to convince him all the time. Maybe he's not ready to talk about what happened, or he's just getting annoyed over trivial things and will be even more upset if he keeps nagging about it. Whatever the situation, you need to pay attention to the signs that he's not in the mood to talk so you need to understand him.
If your boyfriend has been upset over something serious for weeks, it's important that you talk to him so he can talk to you about his problems. Don't let him make him feel worse or let his annoyance remain buried
Step 4. Don't say things will get better if things don't
If your boyfriend is upset about his loss at a football game or a failed job interview, there's a good chance he'll feel better quickly. However, if something serious or serious happens, such as the death of a family member, you need to show sensitivity to understand that things can't get better quickly. Also, avoid clichés like "Your grandma must be in a better place right now" or "Everything happens for a reason" because they can actually make her feel more depressed and upset.
While it's not easy to help him when he's going through a very challenging situation, the best thing you can do is to understand how difficult the situation he is in, even if you don't feel what he feels
Step 5. Show how much you care for him
Sometimes, the best thing to do when he's upset is to show him how much he means to you. Try to take the time to give him a genuine compliment and remind him of all the things you love about him, including the positives he has. In this way, he will feel that he is an amazing person and able to rise from whatever situation has occurred. Praise can be useful, especially if he gets annoyed by things that make him doubt his abilities, such as negative comments from above or failing a test.
- Make sure you're giving him genuine compliments, and not just saying nice things to cheer him up. Take some time to think about the positive things you like about your boyfriend, then show him how special and meaningful he is to you.
- You can also remind him of a time when he was there for you and helped you. Show him that it's okay if he needs help, and that he has helped you a lot.
Step 6. Write a letter explaining why you love him
While you can make a big impact on him by telling him directly how much you care about him, you can also write him a letter explaining everything you like about him. The letter can comfort him and make him realize how much he means to you. Writing about all the things you like about him can also be something he can read and encourage him to get up when he feels down.
You can give the letter in person, read the letter to him, or even send it to make it seem romantic. You can also slip the letter into her bag or one of her books
Part 3 of 3: Entertaining him for the long term
Step 1. Understand that what he feels is not your fault
If he's been depressed or has been upset about something for a long time, the important thing to remember is that you shouldn't blame yourself. You may feel that if he doesn't feel comforted, it's your fault. However, you need to know that sometimes there's nothing you can do to make someone feel better, no matter how much effort you put in.
- If your boyfriend feels that you blame yourself for not being able to comfort him, it will only make him feel even worse, as if he failed because he couldn't get up from the sadness and also let you down. Try not to show the disappointment in front of him.
- Sometimes his problems are so serious that only time or professional help can make him feel better. Don't pressure or force yourself to comfort him.
Step 2. Talk to him so he can see a therapist
If he's really going through emotional trouble and doesn't seem to be changing anything, you can talk to him about getting into therapy. By talking to the expert, he can view the situation more positively and understand the steps he needs to take. He may be reluctant to go to therapy (and, in fact, therapy can't just be followed by everyone), but at least you can suggest therapy so that he knows the options available to him.
This may not be an easy conversation to have. However, if he's been feeling upset, sad, or uninspired for a long time and there doesn't seem to be any other way out for him, it's time for you to take action
Step 3. Don't feel pressured if you feel upset
If your boyfriend is depressed or going through a very difficult time, you may feel that you can be a partner who cares and supports him at all times. However, everyone has limited patience and no one is perfect so you shouldn't feel angry with yourself if you can't always support him all the time. You may even feel resentful towards your boyfriend after realizing why he can't get up and feel comforted easily. It's perfectly normal for you to feel that way and you shouldn't feel down or upset about those feelings yourself.
- It's natural for you to want your boyfriend to act like someone else, especially if he's been feeling depressed for a long time. It's important for you to be honest with yourself about how you feel, and to give yourself time if you need it.
- If you're really upset that he's constantly in a bad mood, especially if he's upset about things that aren't serious, you can talk to him about your annoyance. However, if he mourns (for example) the passing of his father, you should not tell your lover about your frustration because he is always feeling sad. Instead, explain to him that you love him, but that you need some time to yourself.
Step 4. Don't force him to do a lot of activities with you
If he's really depressed, you can't just take him out for a weekend walk, take five yoga classes with you, and meet your three best friends from college. It could be that he himself is having a hard time taking care of himself and talking to you, especially trying to do various activities to pull him out of his sadness. You're not going to help him much by telling him to smile, take a walk outside, or just get out of bed, unless you genuinely care about the problem he's having. Therefore, you should not force him to get up if the problems he is facing are creating deep sadness and depression that can't be reversed by (for example) taking a walk in the park.
If he's really depressed or feeling really upset, some activities (especially those described in the first part/method) can make his day feel brighter. However, you need to understand that when he is really sad, he will have a hard time doing these activities (even very basic activities). Therefore, you should not demand much
Step 5. If he is grieving or depressed, be patient
While this may not be the easiest thing to hear, if your boyfriend is really struggling to get back on his feet, the best thing you can do is give him support and be patient while he's trying to get through the worst (possibly) moment of his life. Make sure you're there for him, don't demand too much of him, and help him through the tough times. If you really love him, care about him, and want to build a long-term relationship with him in the future, you have to be patient.
Everyone's patience does have a limit. If you feel like you've been trying to support or help her for months, or even years, and she's showing no signs of changing (or, at least, wanting to change), you shouldn't feel obligated to continue to support or help her
Step 6. Know that being there for her is the best thing you can do
If he's trying to get through a tough time in his life, you may find that taking him out on a picnic or making dessert for him can help ease his sadness. However, in reality the best thing you can do is reassure him with your presence and care. Show him that you are there for him and that you are not asking him to dance, laugh more, or do other things with you; just show that you love him and want him to feel better.
You have to realize that your presence is what he needs. You don't have to do very big things to cheer him up. Just give him love and support, and things will slowly change
Tips
- Don't stress the importance of communication if he doesn't really need your help. Just ask him to let you know if he wants to talk about his feelings/problems, and show that you are there for him.
- Smile and be a kind and generous person. He will appreciate the effort you show.
- If he starts crying, don't laugh at him. You also shouldn't say rude things or tell other people. In fact, he already feels comfortable enough to be able to cry in front of you. If he starts crying, sit next to him and give him a hug. If you are very close to him, you can both lie on the bed or on the couch. Your presence alone has helped him a lot.
- Never underestimate the power of a warm, long hug.
