Asking for a phone number is generally done in the early stages of dating, but it can be very intimidating. When you ask your crush for a phone number, you have to be prepared to face the embarrassment of being rejected. This feeling will certainly hurt, even if the person you don't really know. However, you don't need to despair because even a playboy must have experienced the same difficulties. By learning a few simple tricks for asking for numbers and knowing what not to do, your confidence will increase when faced with this situation.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Approaching
Step 1. Just relax
If there's one thing you should do to make this situation easier, it's calm. While it's very difficult (some would say almost impossible) to calm yourself down in a stressful situation, being calm will make it easier for you to ask for your crush's number (as well as make you look very confident). Although people calm themselves down differently, you can experiment by trying the following relaxation methods:
- Meditation
- Yoga
- physical training
- Take a deep breath
- Make yourself laugh
- Thinking funny things about the people around you (e.g. thinking of them wearing a ridiculous costume)
Step 2. Act before you hesitate
Often, getting up the courage to talk to your crush is a lot harder than actually talking and asking for their number. To give yourself the best chance, you must take the plunge and act without giving yourself a chance to be hesitant. Don't let yourself be scared! It will be much more difficult to ask for the number of your crush if you never approach them and talk to them.
If you're having trouble approaching someone, force yourself to act. Try giving yourself a time limit (such as ten seconds if you're feeling brave enough) to wait and worry about the situation before finally talking to your crush. If you're with friends, have them force you into action instead of letting you pass up opportunities
Step 3. Use strong body language
If you look confident, people will think so. They won't know how nervous you are unless you tell them. Take advantage of this trick and use confident body language to give yourself a boost. The best part about doing this is that people will react positively to your confident attitude, making it easier for you to act. Regardless of gender or appearance, here are some tips that will make you look confident:
- Don't be afraid to take advantage of the space. Lift your head and stand straight. Straighten your shoulders and puff out your chest. Be relaxed when you sit down.
- Move firmly but relaxed. You can walk at a wide, slow pace and use gentle, relaxed body language.
- Show your concern. Position yourself facing the other person and use eye contact. However, don't stare too long.
- Don't shut yourself off from other people. Do not cross your arms or legs when you are sitting. Don't play with your cell phone when you're bored. This behavior will make other people think you don't want to interact with them.
Step 4. If you're feeling insecure, find reasons to talk
In reality, not everyone has the courage to approach a stranger and ask for their number. If you fall into that category, it's a good idea to think of reasons to talk to your crush to get the conversation flowing. Small talk is a trick that is often used to start a conversation and has proven to be effective. Here are some examples of small talk to start a conversation:
- Asking for advice: "Hey, I like Dostoevsky and I saw you reading Notes From Underground. Was it a good book?”
- Compliment or comment on things he likes: “What a Creed shirt! Did you watch their concert here in 2001?”
- Asking her for help: "Wow! Can you show me how to dance like that?"
- Old trick: “Do you have a lighter?” (For smokers only).
Step 5. Just relax
No one likes pressure, so you need to be relaxed and not appear pushy when asking for a phone number. Avoid opening up the conversation with ragged flirting. While this might make you look confident, sometimes people will think you're just playing around and it might even look scary. It would be better if you were relaxed. If necessary, you can make small talk to start a conversation, be natural and continue small talk until the situation escalates.
One of the benefits of a casual approach is that it can avoid the embarrassment of an outright rejection. If you're talking to someone and it starts to feel awkward, you can always end the conversation by saying that you have something else to do. On the other hand, if you start the conversation by flirting and the situation turns awkward, ending the conversation will be a bit more embarrassing because it will make it clear that you didn't get what you wanted
Part 2 of 3: Getting a Phone Number
Step 1. Build intimacy
If you want to get someone's phone number, look for opportunities to build closeness after you start talking to them. You can find out what the two of you like, hate, or even talk about each other's lives. When you build closeness with someone, the conversation will feel more “live” and intimate.
For example, you are at a party and don't know many people. You've started a conversation with a stranger and complimented the band t-shirt he's wearing. If it turns out that you both have seen the band's concert live, take this opportunity to share your experience with him. With any luck, sharing personal experiences will build intimacy and make it easier for you to ask for the number
Step 2. Make him laugh
One of the easiest ways to make a positive impression on other people is to make them laugh. Everyone loves to laugh! Humor will make anyone feel happy so that your chances of getting his number will be easier, maybe even make him want to spend time with you. In addition, several scientific studies have shown that a sense of humor is one of the most attractive traits of a person in social interactions.
While you'll want to be as humorous as possible, avoid self-deprecating. Don't make other people laugh at you. Making fun of yourself can be a fun topic once you get to know the person, but if you do it the first time you meet them, you will appear nervous and unsure of yourself instead of looking relaxed and confident
Step 3. Ask for a phone number when the conversation reaches its peak
The best time to ask someone's number is usually right after you've had a good laugh, bonded, and had a good time. People will generally do what you ask if they like you, so asking for a phone number after a very pleasant conversation will increase your chances of getting a number (and cause the person you're talking to might politely decline if they don't want to give you their number).
Let's continue with the example situation mentioned above. If you've had a conversation about a band you both like, you can end the conversation with a funny story about something that happened to you at the band's concert. After he bursts out laughing, say that you have to go but want to exchange phone numbers so the two of you can talk again later. With a little luck, the right moment will increase the chances of success
Step 4. Make him want more
Asking for someone's number is something that is generally done at the end of a conversation, not in the middle. Once you get the number, don't let the conversation stall or turn awkward. Instead, immediately end the conversation by saying that you need to do something else. This will give the impression that you have a busy and active life (which usually sounds interesting) in the hope that the people you've spoken to will want to talk again.
In the example mentioned above, you should end the conversation by asking for the number of the person you are talking to instead of asking for the number and then continuing the conversation as usual. This kind of behavior should be avoided as it will sound like this: “Thanks for giving me your number. So, have you watched any interesting movies lately?” Making small talk will sound very strange once the situation has heated up and will cause some awkwardness (even if you handle it well) and can confuse the person
Step 5. Test the number as soon as it gets it
People may not want to immediately refuse to give their number so they will give a fake number to avoid awkward situations. If you just got someone's number, try calling or texting yourself to save yourself the disappointment of getting the wrong number. Try texting “This is (your name).” or call a minute or two after the conversation ends. If you get a reply, then the number is correct. On the other hand, if you're not connecting or are connecting to someone you don't recognize, then the number is fake.
Don't be upset if the number given turns out to be fake. Laugh at the fact that you've been scammed and quickly forget about it. No one is obligated to give out their phone number, so you don't have to feel like you've been betrayed if they don't
Step 6. Wait a few days to call
This is an old rule, but still relevant today. When you get someone's phone number, don't call them right away. Instead, wait a few days before calling. Calling after getting the phone number of an attractive person may be something you really want to do, but it can give the impression that you are too excited to start a relationship with that person which will certainly frighten him (especially for people who don't want a serious relationship).. Some relationship experts suggest waiting a week before calling, while others suggest waiting three days.
You must maintain a relaxed situation. Calling someone as soon as you get their number will give the impression that you are taking the situation too seriously. Ironically, this can undermine the potential for both of you to have a serious relationship
Part 3 of 3: Knowing What Not to Do
Step 1. Don't open a conversation by asking for a number
You may think this is a good idea because you will appear confident, but he will think that you are being too direct. When asking for someone's number, don't let the first words out of your mouth be, "Can I have your number?" For some people who don't understand, this is a way of showing extreme self-confidence. However, for most people, this will feel very strange. You'll have more success with the conventional approach, unless you're a great seducer or just want to experiment.
Step 2. Don't think too much about the outcome of the conversation
No matter how high your self-confidence is, rejection can always occur. Even if everyone finds you attractive. Since you don't always manage to get a number from your crush, try not to get your hopes up. Don't worry about not getting the number of someone you're talking to. Instead, try to focus on yourself, listen to your partner and build a relationship with him. This way, if you choose to ask for the number at the end of the conversation, you will have no reason to be disappointed even if it is rejected.
Step 3. Don't end an awkward conversation by asking for a number
Asking for a number is something you should do at the end of a conversation that goes well, not one that goes awkwardly. If your conversation turns out to be awkward for some reason (such as you accidentally offending the person you're talking to) don't try to save the conversation by asking for a number. If you really want the number, keep the conversation going and try to fix the mistakes you've made. There's nothing worse than asking for a number from someone you're not comfortable with, so try to save yourself (and your partner) from the situation.
Step 4. Don't insist if you don't get a number
As noted above, there are a variety of reasons (both good and bad) why someone might refuse to give out their number. If you feel rejected, don't take it out on the person who rejected you. The person is under no obligation to provide the number. No matter how pleasant your conversation may be, when he doesn't give you his number you have no right to be angry. Reacting with anger or grumbling will only make you look embarrassing. Here are some valid reasons why someone might not want to give their number:
- Are in a serious relationship
- Just got out of a serious relationship
- Not comfortable giving out their phone number to strangers
- Not looking for a boyfriend
- Not attracted to you like you are to them
Tips
- Just do it - you will never be successful if you don't try.
- Compliments are a great way to start a conversation. However, don't lie. Don't tell her you like her green shoes if you think they look really bad.
- If he gives you his number, don't leave him right away. Stay for a while and then say, “Looks like I have to go now. I'll call you. Bye!”
- Offer your number instead of asking. Most women feel safer not giving out their phone numbers to strangers. You can also jokingly ask for her number and then say, "Oh, here's my number."
- You can also request the email in advance. Because it feels safer than giving out a phone number, most people will agree to exchange email addresses. When he writes down the email, say, "When you write the email, you can write down your phone number too." Most people who don't provide a phone number at first will give it after they provide other information such as an email address.
- If you don't have many friends' phone numbers, you can ask them for theirs, then approach them and tell them "Hey, I'm asking for everyone's phone numbers, can you give me yours too?"
- If he's a boy and you know he likes you, ask him to accompany you home. However, don't be upset if he refuses, he may be in a hurry.
- Be confident and just relax! People who are nervous and tense will seem unpleasant. If this person doesn't seem to like you, then they are definitely not the right person for you.
Warning
- Don't ask someone's number for your friend. This will offend him and destroy your friend's chances of getting close to him.
- If you really want to get someone's number, ask yourself. Getting someone's number from a friend, unless you're really close is very rude and looks scary.
- No one is obligated to give you their phone number. Don't ask more than once and leave him if he refuses.
- If someone gives you his number, don't ask him to write it down on your hand, arm, or on media that can be easily erased, unless it's your last resort.
