When someone you care about seems depressed, it's easy to feel let down. This feels real, especially in romantic relationships because emotions tend to be overdone. There are several things that make your lover need to be reassured. He may be upset or angry about what happened, or he may be feeling sad and in need of warmth. How you entertain him really depends on his character and the relationship he has with him. Luckily, your presence when he needs support and understanding makes a big difference when you try to calm him down.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Discussing Existing Problems with it
Step 1. Provide your presence emotionally and physically as soon as possible
Make him his first priority when he's upset and needs your support, to a reasonable degree of course. Your speed at taking the step and providing a presence for him is just as important as the presence. Plus, the quick action you take shows how much he means to you. This in itself can actually make him feel better and calmer, regardless of what's upsetting him.
Of course, you can't just arrive at his residence as fast as lightning. Usually, you need to balance the importance of the activity at hand and the seriousness of the mental stress he is experiencing. If you're at work or school and he's in a very serious situation, clear your mind of work and school responsibilities, and give him all your emotional support and care verbally. Let him know that he is your first priority, and that you will see him as soon as you finish any responsibilities or work at hand
Step 2. Listen to what he has to say about what annoys him
Until you know the specifics of what is upsetting him, you can only offer more general comfort. Comfort usually begins with listening carefully to what he has to say, whether the situation he is in is minor or serious and could change his life. After that, positive reassurance is provided through understanding empathy from a listener's point of view.
Step 3. Act as a reflection of his emotional upset
The best thing you can do is be an active listener and give him the opportunity to sort out his own feelings and naturally gain awareness or understanding of the problem at hand.
- Refrain from offering solutions. Instead, help him gain his own understanding of the emotional dilemma he is experiencing. Let him complain while showing the role of the giver of empathy.
- Listen actively to what he has to say. Get into the habit of explaining yourself what he says in his own words. Focus on his feelings and what he's saying while he's talking.
- Empathy will not arise if you focus only on your own thoughts. However, feel free to share your opinion, but only give your personal opinion if he asks for it.
Step 4. Make him laugh
Laughter can relieve stress and refocus emotions. With laughter, various mental and emotional problems will feel lighter and easier to deal with.
If you and your boyfriend have a strong enough relationship, maybe you can make him laugh like you usually do. Humor is a great "medicine" for mental stress and can help protect him from the things that have been bothering him and affecting his mood
Step 5. Get rid of any embarrassment he may feel
In addition to the things that make him sad, your boyfriend may also feel embarrassed when he has to show you his emotional vulnerability. If you suspect that she's feeling embarrassed, embrace it and remind her that it's normal and natural to have feelings. Reassure him that his trust in you will never be broken or betrayed.
Step 6. Stay calm
Remember that you should only focus on him and his feelings while trying to calm him down and give him support. This may be difficult to do if you are emotionally involved in a situation that upsets him. However, you need to put your personal feelings aside and focus on them. If you feel very upset and start fixating on your own thoughts and feelings, the situation will only get worse. In the end, you just can't calm or comfort him.
If you're feeling upset, it's a good idea to calm him down first. You can discuss the issue at hand from a personal point of view in the future
Method 2 of 2: Showing Care Nonverbally
Step 1. Approach him as he wishes
When you meet him, it's important that you don't cross the line. This includes physical interactions or romantic gestures, unless he doesn't object. Usually, women who are feeling angry about something are reluctant to be hugged or hugged. When you meet him, approach him, but respect his personal space from the start. If he wants something, he will usually tell you.
You may be able to predict his behavior in certain situations, depending on the length of your relationship with him. If you've tried to cheer him up before and he's opened up to a certain action, it's a good idea to repeat the action
Step 2. Show caring body language
When talking to him, the best thing you can do at first is let him know that you are going to give him all your attention. While you can convey the message through speech, caring body language also shows that you are listening physically, and not just mentally. Maintaining eye contact, leaning and facing him, smiling, and nodding your head at the right moment show that you care about him.
Step 3. Buy him a present
Giving gifts feels appropriate when he feels depressed. While a bouquet of flowers won't necessarily make the problem go away, such a gift is a physical sign of love and affection. The symbolic nature of the gift itself can have a significant impact when you try to cheer it up.
- Gift giving can be an effective measure as long as it is followed by a genuine and warm conversation.
- Think about whether things that make him sad and need to be comforted are appropriate for the gift you are about to give. For example, flowers are usually suitable for various situations. However, he may not show the reaction you expect when you give him his favorite video game after he loses his parents.
Step 4. Give him a tissue when he cries
Tissue is the item most often given to someone when he cries. Even in front of loved ones, crying can be embarrassing. The tissue will not simply reduce the feeling of shame, but it can eliminate the "proof" of crying. Giving her a tissue to wipe her tears can be sweet, especially if she's wearing makeup. He will thank you for the kindness.
Step 5. Give him a hug
If he doesn't ask you to hug him right away, giving him a hug at a certain moment can be the right move. The various positive effects of hugs are well known. Hugs are the fastest "medicine" for feeling better because of various physical aspects, from stress levels to blood pressure being more controlled when cuddling.
Step 6. Embrace him
Hugs are a great remedy for most emotional problems. If he's been feeling irritable lately, there's usually nothing better than holding him when things start to work out. Even if he doesn't feel completely comfortable when you cuddle him, cuddling in itself provides a variety of great benefits, including increased feelings of comfort and happiness.
After holding him, you can invite him to watch his favorite movie together. Relaxing and enjoyable viewing is usually the best choice, and entertainment itself is a great medium to take his mind off the problem at hand until he feels calm enough to handle it properly
Tips
While it goes without saying, calming and comforting her in person is a better move than indirect interactions over the phone or the internet because when you meet her in person, there's so much more that can be done for her. However, when he is feeling depressed or sad, the better thing to do is act quickly. Do what you can as best you can
Warning
- You really have to be there for him when he needs you. However, understand that you won't always be able to solve the problem. Sometimes, you can't make someone feel more at ease in certain situations. For things like this, only time and passive support can fix things.
- Be careful not to associate what upsets him with his personality or character. Matching negative emotions with other emotions will only create new problems on top of existing ones.
