Breaking up is a difficult thing to deal with. But, of course, it's nice when you can make him want you back. The process to get him back starts right after you part with him. However, whatever you do can make things worse, or even make things better (and make you win her heart back). By taking the time to analyze the relationship, improve yourself, and communicate strategically with him, you can win back his heart.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Preparing to Win Her Heart Back
Step 1. Try not to contact him
Set a time period for not interacting with your ex-boyfriend. Such interactions include communication via phone calls, text messages, social media, or face-to-face meetings. You may not initiate contact or respond to them at all. This way, you and your ex have a chance to heal your broken heart. In addition, you can also improve your feelings.
- The contactless period usually lasts 3 weeks, a month, or 45 days. Regardless of the time frame specified, you must still follow the plan that was made.
- Without contact, the two of you can have time to heal from the hurt. In addition, there will be opportunities for him to miss you.
- If your relationship ends badly, this contactless period will allow both of you to calm down and ease any negative feelings that arise.
Step 2. Stop connecting with her through social media
Even if you no longer talk or chat with him, looking at his photos and knowing what he's up to can encourage you to contact him. Constantly getting new information about his life through social media will make things even more difficult. You may also find information that you don't want to know (eg news about her dating a new guy).
- If you feel the need to unfriend or block their profile on social media, do so. You must not let him know that you are taking these steps.
- Don't post posts about how sad and depressed you are after your breakup.
Step 3. Evaluate previous relationships
Since you're no longer talking to him, you have time to think about your former relationship. Consider the positives and negatives of the relationship. Also think about the positive things and the bad things you've done. Also, consider the things you could (and would) change if you managed to get the chance to be with him again.
It's a good idea to write down the positive things and the negative things on a piece of paper. This can help you think about previous relationships
Step 4. Take care of yourself
As much as possible, try to present the best “version” of yourself. This will make you appear more attractive in his eyes when you finally try to contact him back. Eat a healthy diet and exercise. Spend time with friends and family who love you. Do activities that you couldn't/had done before when you were in a relationship, such as volunteering, playing video games, reading books, and so on.
- It doesn't matter if you feel lazy to go for long walks or socialize with other people. Do what needs to be done to heal from a painful relationship, such as meditate, keep a journal, or take some time alone to watch a movie.
- If there are personality traits or problems that arise in the relationship, such as feelings of irritability, jealousy, insecurity, taking your partner for granted, or being overly controlling your partner, start fixing them. Seek professional help if necessary.
- Write down the ideal type or figure of a man you want to reflect or show, then try to be that kind of person.
Step 5. Don't say negative things about him
After your relationship breaks up, you may feel compelled to say bad things about it. You may say things you really don't want to say. Telling bad things about him to your family, friends, or friends won't help you at all. If he finds out that you're talking about him, you're destroying any chance of winning him back.
- Try to keep the details of your past relationship a secret.
- Refrain from posting posts about your relationship on social media. These posts include “indirect” messages implied by song lyrics, music videos, or quotes.
Part 2 of 2: Connecting with Ex-Girlfriend
Step 1. Call your ex
After the no-contact period has passed, try to get back in touch with your ex. You can contact him via email, phone call, letter, or text message. If you write an email or letter, let him know that you accept the breakup. Apologize for the mistakes you made, and tell him the interesting things that happened to you after the breakup.
- If you're texting, try to say things that start a conversation, are a little flirty, and don't bring back negativity.
- When sending a short message, you can write, for example, "Hi, I'm watching show X on television and it reminds me of you:)" You can also send a good memory of the past you spent with him. For example, “Remember when we went to that cool restaurant?”
- In your first interaction or contact with him, don't tell him about your desire to get back in touch with him, your longing, or even your affection for him.
Step 2. Admit your mistake and apologize for the mistake
You have had enough time to evaluate the relationship. Now, it's time for you to admit your mistake and let him know that you're sorry and want to apologize. This shows that you have changed and matured, and have thought a lot about what was going on between the two of you before. He will also see your efforts to become a better man.
You can do this in person (meet him) or by phone call. In fact, it would be better not to have long or emotional chats via text messages
Step 3. Ask her out on a date
Once you and your ex are back in touch, ask him if he'd like to go on a date or just hang out with you. Try to appear casual but still polite when asking her out. Do not immediately take this as a serious matter. Try saying, for example, "Hi, would you like to have coffee together?" or “Hey, let's meet up!” You can also use casual words or phrases like “kongkow” in addition to “dating”.
- If he seems reluctant, you can say, for example, "We're just drinking coffee and going for a walk. No problem, right?”
- If he doesn't want to see you, don't force him. Give him time. Tell him, for example, “I respect your decision that you still don't want to see me, but let me know if you change your mind. Looks like it will be fun to meet you again.”
Step 4. Seduce him back
To win her back, you have to do all the things you've done before to get her to be attracted to you. If you usually send flowers or write sweet notes for her, start doing these things. Think of this opportunity as a new relationship. You need to get him to fall in love with you again.
- Even if you want to impress him, don't appear begging or coaxing him into getting back into a relationship with you. It will only make you look scared and weak. Make sure he likes and wants you again because you are an awesome guy, not because he feels sorry for you.
- Don't say things like "I can't live without you."
Step 5. Don't bring up the past
You and your ex-boyfriend are starting to reconnect from scratch. Now, try to focus on the positive things that made your relationship work, like when you first started your relationship. If you manage to win him over because of your funny attitude or character, keep him laughing. If he likes your cooking, make delicious food for him.
Focus on making new memories with him. He needed to realize that things would be different from now on
Step 6. Start slowly
You cannot resume a previous relationship (from the last moment or “point” before the breakup) when you reconnect with your ex. Think of this relationship as a new relationship. Don't rush and get to know each other again. You also shouldn't overwhelm him and pressure him into getting back into a relationship with you. Focus on building strong friendships first.
- Don't text him or call him every day.
- Go on dates and do activities together. Re-learn his likes, dislikes, and habits.
- Hold on to the physical aspects of the relationship (eg physical contact) and spend more time chatting.
Step 7. Know when to give up
If your ex really rejects all the efforts you put in, you should respect his decision. If he asks you to leave him or tells you that he has recovered from his pain and doesn't want to be in a relationship as a lover anymore, you also need to step forward and try to leave the desire to get back with him. If you rely too much on him or still want him to reconnect with you, you'll end up making a bad impression and destroying any opportunities to reconnect with him in the future.
If he already has a new girlfriend, appreciate the new relationship. Don't try to make her break up with her boyfriend. Be patient and see if the relationship is serious or just a substitute for a previous relationship
Tips
- Heartbreak hurts, but try to stay strong. Talk to him, and if he doesn't want you anymore, accept his decision and get up and move on with your life.
- Be patient. It may take longer for you to get back into a relationship with him.
- Make sure you can get him to think about getting back into a relationship with you. Be the man he always wanted to be.
- Even if you can't win back her heart, know that everything will be okay.
