If you recently had an argument with someone or made a mistake, you may be confused about how to apologize. Things are even more difficult when he doesn't want to forgive. If you've apologized but haven't received a response, prepare to face rejection by being calm, apologizing again, and responding wisely.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Be Calm and Humble
Step 1. Have a neutral, but sincere facial expression
When you apologize to someone, be honest and humble. If you are angry that an apology was rejected, your face may become tense or red. So try to calm yourself down. You can cry or express sadness, but don't force him to forgive you by begging, begging, or throwing tantrums. Say how you feel, but don't let the apology be colored by negative emotions.
- For example, your boss may look annoyed when you apologize for not meeting a deadline for completing an assignment. Instead of frowning or getting annoyed too, don't show your disappointment and continue to apologize sincerely.
- Before apologizing, take time to calm down so you can control your emotions, such as meditating or praying a short prayer.
Step 2. Breathe deeply
When the apology is rejected, take a deep breath in through your nose and then exhale through your mouth slowly. Do this a few times until you feel calm and ready to continue the discussion or say goodbye.
For example, if your friend won't forgive you, take deep breaths so you don't react negatively to them. Don't take deep breaths like grunts because it sounds like you're angry. Breathe calmly and regularly
Step 3. Don't get defensive
Even if you're disappointed that the apology was rejected, don't force it, such as using harsh words, because things will only get worse. If you have nothing nice to say, say "okay" and then walk away.
For example, don't respond by saying, "It's up to you whether you want to forgive me or not" or "You weren't a very good friend." Remember, this is not the time to argue. Try to accept the decision even if it disappoints
Step 4. Look for other solutions
For now, apologizing isn't the best way to solve the problem. Think of another, more appropriate way. You can even ask him what needs to be done to fix the problem. In addition to apologizing, show that you are responsible for your actions by correcting the error.
For example, you accidentally drop a friend's ice cream and say "sorry". Apologies like this are hard to accept. The problem can be solved if you buy ice cream as a substitute for fallen ice cream
Step 5. Try to understand the perspective
Instead of reacting negatively when an apology is rejected, consider his attitude by finding out why. It could be that his refusal is not because he doesn't want to forgive you, but for other reasons. Find out what things can influence his attitude.
- For example, yesterday you accidentally entered data incorrectly while making a report so that a co-worker was annoyed because this morning he was reprimanded by his superior for a mistake you made. This could be the main reason why he won't forgive you.
- Find the right time to meet him when his mood has calmed down. There are many reasons why a person does not want to forgive. Don't be offended. Try to see him again when things get better.
Step 6. Don't interact with him for a while
Usually, an apology must be delivered at the right time for it to be accepted. Now may not be the time for the two of you to interact. Let him know that you're not ready for the discussion yet, but that you'll see him later.
For example, say to him, "I still want to talk to you, but my mind is in a mess. How about we take a break and meet here again?"
Method 2 of 3: Apologizing Once Again
Step 1. Briefly describe your actions
The next time you interact with him to apologize again, start the conversation by briefly stating your mistake. This step ensures both of you are clear on the issue you want to discuss and prevents misunderstandings.
For example, you might say, "Tia, I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I was angry at the time, but this is no excuse. I shouldn't have spoken harshly to you. I'm really sorry."
Step 2. Ask for clarification
After apologizing, make sure you don't have anything else to talk about. Perceptions of both parties on this issue can be very different. For example, you might think he's upset that you yelled at him, but the real reason is that he's upset that you left him while he was still talking to you.
Ask him to say if there are issues that are still bothering him. If so, invite him to discuss this
Step 3. Learn to listen
When you're done talking, let him talk. Listen carefully to what he has to say. Do not interrupt or think about the response he wants to convey while he is speaking. Rephrase what he said briefly so he knows he was heard.
For example, summarize what he was saying by telling him, "It seemed you were offended when I interrupted your explanation at yesterday's meeting. My actions made you feel belittled. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry
Step 4. Take responsibility for your actions
Never say, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but you made me angry." Say sorry and don't expect anything or blame anyone else. Apologies without regrets are not acceptable. Instead of putting together the words you want to say, reflect on them beforehand so you're ready to apologize sincerely, honest and wholehearted.
Step 5. Describe your perspective
After discussing the error you made, take the time to discuss the cause. Don't exaggerate the problem by bringing up past events that already have a solution so that you are free from guilt. Discuss relevant matters and explain your perspective. Don't blame others or defend yourself.
- For example, say to him, "Ben, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. To be honest, I feel like I can't compete with you. When I don't have money, you tell me proudly how much you have to make me jealous."
- Use the word "I/I" to describe how you feel. For example, instead of saying, "You don't care about me," use the phrase, "Sometimes I feel neglected" so that the other person doesn't feel blamed.
Method 3 of 3: Determining the Next Step
Step 1. Don't make the same mistake
After the two of you have had a heart-to-heart discussion, make a plan together or for yourself so that this kind of problem doesn't happen again. For example, if a coworker is angry because you interrupt him or her during a meeting, try to be more patient and be a good listener.
Step 2. Don't keep contacting him
Give him time to reflect on what happened and your apology. Don't keep calling to apologize because you already did. If there is no news, contact him every few days, but after a few weeks, wait for him to contact you.
Step 3. Don't disconnect
Don't tell bad things or gossip about other people, especially coworkers. Be friendly when you meet him. Greet him by saying "hello" with a smile. Even if the two of you aren't friends anymore, you may need to work together as a team one day. So, maintain a good relationship with him so that the problem does not linger.
Step 4. Forget bad experiences
In fact, there are people who don't want to forgive and he has every right to do this. Don't regret what happened, especially if you've tried to repair the relationship. Try not to make the same mistakes again. Establish good relationships with friends and coworkers.
