When you have a good intention of apologizing for doing something wrong, writing an apology letter is a great way to make amends, restore a relationship, or make someone feel better, even if you made this mistake by mistake. Follow some of the apology lettering instructions in this article so you can write a letter that really hits the spot and doesn't make things worse. Begin reading the first step so that your apology can be conveyed properly.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Compiling an Apology
Step 1. Explain what you mean by writing the letter
Start by telling them that your letter is an apology letter. This way, the person you're apologizing to can properly condition their emotions before continuing to read the letter. Of course you don't want to make someone wonder what's going on or what you're writing for.
You can say: “I am writing this letter to apologize”
Step 2. Describe your mistake
After admitting that you want to apologize, say what you did wrong and why you feel guilty. Explain correctly and in detail. If you tell him everything up front, he'll know you really understand what you're doing.
You could say: “What I did last weekend was very inappropriate, dishonorable and very selfish. Your wedding party should only be for happiness and to celebrate the love of both of you. By proposing to Jessica, I made myself the center of attention by stealing important moments at your wedding and I realized that what I did was a big mistake.”
Step 3. Admit that you've hurt someone
Admit that you've hurt the other person and you understand how hurting he is. In this section, you can also convey that you never intended to hurt her.
You could say: “Jacob told me that not only did I spoil your wedding, but I also messed up the beauty of your honeymoon so it wasn't very pleasant. Actually I never intended like this. I want you to be able to re-imagin your wedding and only remember the happy moments at that time, but I was so selfish that I ruined everything by stealing your happy memories. Although I don't really know how you feel because of this incident, I know for sure that what I did back then was the worst thing I've ever done to you.”
Step 4. Express gratitude
If you want, though you don't have to, you can also share all the hard work and good things he has done for you. This will show that you appreciate it and can help you express guilt for what you've done.
You could say, “What I did was really outrageous when I think back on how warmly your family received me. Not only have you shown deep and sincere love to my brother, but you have also given me so much support and kindness. Hurting your heart like this as if I can't appreciate all your kindness and I really hate myself for this mistake."
Step 5. Be responsible
This is the most important part of an apology, but it can be the most difficult to state. Even if the person you want to apologize to has made a mistake, don't mention this in your letter. What you have to do is take responsibility for your mistakes honestly without any cover-up. There may be good reasons for your actions, but you should still say that your actions hurt the other person's feelings.
- You can say, “I want to explain what I did, but this is no excuse. My intentions, though good, are not important because all of this happened because of a wrong decision. I take full responsibility for my selfish actions and the deep sadness you feel because of my mistake.”
- Don't give reasons for your actions, but you can explain them very carefully. If you feel this reasoning is really necessary or could make the situation better, you can explain why you made that decision. You can only do this if you know that the person you're trying to apologize to will feel more comfortable once they understand your reasoning.
Step 6. Offer a solution that can improve the situation
It's not at all enough to just say you're sorry. What really makes an apology useful is finding a solution to the problem at hand. This method is even better than simply saying that this problem will not happen again. By proposing a plan for change and how you're going to do it, you show a genuine intention to improve the situation.
You could say: “But it's not enough if I just apologize because you deserve better. By the time you get home, Jessica and I will prepare a party to welcome you as a tribute. This party will be very festive and just to celebrate your immense love for my sister. If you don't agree, that's okay. I just want to propose a way that can bring back the very beautiful happy memories that I have snatched from you.”
Step 7. Express that you want to be able to interact better in the future
Don't just apologize. If you have wronged someone else, you must make this request whether you want to or not. It's a good idea to express what you really want, which is so that the two of you can interact better in the future.
You could say: “I can't expect you to forgive me, although I certainly want to be forgiven. I can only say that I really want things to be good again between us. I also want you to feel good and happy the next time we meet. I want to restore our relationship so we can get back to being close like before. Hopefully in the future we can find a way to forget this incident and have more fun times together.”
Part 2 of 3: Apologizing the Right Way
Step 1. Don't promise to change unless you're absolutely sure you can deliver on it
This is a very important thing. Don't make promises that you will change if you make a mistake that is likely to happen again or this mistake is caused by a personality or outlook problem. If the situation is like this, you will make another mistake and apologize again which is completely meaningless.
Step 2. Pay attention to the sentences you use
There are certain skills required to convey an apology. We basically hate apologizing and are often against it. This is why you have to be careful with your sentences if you want to apologize the right way. There are phrases and words that sound like apologies, but actually make the situation worse because they don't show that you're not truly sorry. Be careful when you write letters because these words can appear accidentally. For example:
- "Mistakes made…".
- The word "if" (or "if" and similar words with similar meaning) as in "I'm sorry if your feelings hurt" or "If you're not happy because…".
- "I'm sorry if it turns out you feel this way."
Step 3. Be sincere and honest
You must offer a sincere and honest apology. If you're not ready, it's better to wait until you're truly sorry before apologizing. Do not use standard sentences and clichés in your letters or simply copy letters found on the internet. You should apologize according to the situation so that this person knows that you really understand what happened and why it was bad.
Step 4. Don't write about desires and assumptions
Your letter should not be demanding, rude, or condescending. Do not attempt or appear to be trying to blame someone in your letter. Don't make assumptions about how the other person is feeling or why he or she is upset, because it will sound like you don't really understand what happened. It is better to use sentences that show humility and give a sense of comfort. With sentences like this, this person will more easily forgive you.
Step 5. Delay sending the letter a day or two
If you can, wait a day or two before you send the letter. That way, you can read it again when your emotions are not carried away by what you wrote.
Part 3 of 3: Determining the Format of the Letter
Step 1. Choose the best way to start your letter
In an apology letter, you can start with the words "Mr./Mrs./My dear friend ….." It's best not to use flowery sentences at the beginning of the letter and use the simplest greetings.
Step 2. End your letter with a thank you note
Use a standard closing greeting such as "Sincerely" or "Greetings" or "Greetings" if you're not used to using other methods. But you can also be a little creative so that your letter doesn't seem too formal. Try using the phrase "I am very grateful that you listened to my explanation" or "Again, I sincerely apologize for my actions that have caused trouble and I will try to correct this error".
Step 3. Make a formal apology
If you want to write a more professional or formal letter, you should use a formal letter format. Besides being typed neatly, you must also include the date, your name, the name of your organization, your signature, and other matters related to the format of the official letter.
Choose the right words to make your letter seem more formal and more appropriate to the current situation
Tips
- State that this is your fault and don't try to blame anyone or anything else. This is a way to show your responsibility and maturity.
- Make the letter short, easy to read, straightforward, and full of responsibility.
- Don't make the letter too short. A letter with only two or three sentences will do no good, but don't start the letter with rambling words either!
- If you're having trouble putting the words together for your letter, ask a friend or family member for help. They can understand what you want and will be happy to help you.
- You need to throw away your pride when apologizing. In this case, self-respect won't do anything, but good relationships are usually much more valuable.
- Explain why you are doing this so he can understand the issue from your point of view.
- Explain what you mean and live up to what you said by trying to make sure that your mistake will not be repeated and keep your promise.
