Losing contact with someone is a very unfortunate thing in life. It will be difficult for you to maintain all relationships, especially when you get older and you meet more people. If you've lost touch with someone, whether it's an old friend, classmate, or ex-spouse, you might want to call them back and see how they're doing. This may sound challenging, but it's actually easier than you think. If you've been thinking about him a lot, chances are he's thinking about you too. Surely he will be delighted to hear from you!
Step
Method 1 of 4: Initiating a Call
Step 1. Find the phone number
If you haven't spoken to him in a long time, you may have lost his number. Check if the contact number is still saved in your phone or address book. If not, there are several options to choose from.
- Ask mutual acquaintances or friends. Try asking for the phone number from a friend or co-worker.
- Contact the person via social media. If you're friends with him on Facebook or connected via another social media site, try texting him. Say, for example, “Hi, Liza! A few days ago, I remembered you. I hope you are doing well in Jakarta. If you want to chat with me, call me at 081234567890!”
- Do a search via Google. If you don't have mutual friends or are connected to them in any way, try Google for their contact information. It is possible that you will find some information that can be used to connect with it.
Step 2. Call him at the right moment
If you know he's not busy, try calling him at that time. If you're not sure, don't call her too early in the morning, or after 9 p.m. Also, don't call during school or work hours (eg between 9am and 5pm). The best time to contact him is on weekend afternoons, or between 6 to 9 am on weekdays.
Step 3. Tell your identity
When he answers the phone, say hello and let him know who you are. If you haven't chatted with him in a long time, he won't expect you to call, especially if he doesn't have the caller ID feature on. You could say, for example, “Hi, Gan! How are you? This is Arief, your classmate in college!”
It's also a good idea to tell him where you know him from. If you haven't been in touch for a long time, he may meet someone else with the same name and be unable to tell the difference between you and that person. If you provide context or specific information, it will be easier for him to get to know you
Step 4. Tell him why you're thinking about it
There must be something that makes you pick up your phone and call it. Even if there's no specific reason, let them know what prompted you to contact them. With a reason like this, your phone call won't come across as too "weird" and unexpected.
- You could say, for example, “I just reread the book you gave me last year. Ah, it reminds me of you!”
- You could also say, "I suddenly thought of you a few days ago."
Step 5. Apologize for never having contact with him again if necessary
Sometimes, people just can't maintain or maintain contact. However, if you feel that you should be able to keep in touch with the person (or if the breakup was your fault), try to apologize.
- You could say, for example, "I'm sorry I couldn't keep in touch with you after my wedding."
- One apology is enough. If you keep apologizing, there's a good chance he will feel uncomfortable.
Method 2 of 4: Building a Chat
Step 1. Ask how he's doing
You can ask questions like, "How are you?" Questions like this give him the opportunity to tell you how he's been and what he's been up to since the last time he had contact with you. Instead of worrying or thinking about what to say next, focus on listening to the story.
Step 2. Ask follow-up questions
You may be curious about something he has to say and want to know more. Asking questions is a great way to keep the conversation going.
- For example, if he says that he now teaches at a university, ask about the courses he teaches.
- If you can't think of a question to ask, ask about something you both know (or something that has to do with how you used to know him). For example, if you and he were friends in high school, ask him if he still keeps in touch with other old friends.
Step 3. Tell us how you're doing
After he tells how he's been since you last saw him, talk about what you've been through. You can talk about your work or school life, as well as major developments that have occurred in your life. You can also talk about, for example, a new pet or a hobby you're having.
For example, you might say, "Actually, I've moved to Surabaya and now work for a non-profit company."
Step 4. State your reason for contacting him
You may have many reasons to call him at this point. For example, you might want to ask for donations to a fundraising event, or borrow something from them. If you contacted him for a specific reason, state the reason at this stage. If you're just calling to ask how he's doing and "get in touch", continue the existing chat.
Step 5. Discuss old memories
A great way to make chatting with old friends more interesting is to talk about things from the past. Talk about memories you've shared together, or places and people you've met.
- For example, if the two of you were childhood friends, try saying, "I remember when we used to make nastar and kastengel cakes together."
- While it's best to talk about good memories, you can also let him know that your friendship saved you. For example, you could say, "Your presence after my mother died was very important to me."
Step 6. Remember to smile
When talking, remember to smile. Many people forget to smile when talking on the phone. However, a smile can actually make your tone of voice sound friendlier and warmer. Since he can't see your face, your tone of voice is a very important aspect of showing that you're happy to have a chat with him.
Step 7. Avoid sensitive topics
Don't make the situation awkward by asking questions that make him uncomfortable or topics that should be avoided. This is something to be aware of, especially if you want to reconnect with your ex.
Sayings like "So, how's the guy who made you dump me?" it will only make the conversation awkward for both of you
Step 8. Do not contact him for too long
You may be happy to get back in touch with him, but make sure the chat doesn't last too long. You don't know what his schedule is like now or how busy he is. Remember that you don't have to tell him everything that happened since the last time you had contact, and you can always talk to him again at a later date.
Fifteen minutes was enough to reconnect with an old friend. However, if he still seems eager to chat, keep the conversation going
Method 3 of 4: Ending the Conversation
Step 1. Let him know that you enjoyed talking to him
When the conversation is getting to its end or one of you has to leave, try saying "I'm glad I got to talk to you," or "I'm glad we can get back in touch." Saying something like that shows that you really enjoy chatting with him.
Step 2. Make a plan
After chatting, you can make plans to meet him. If you feel like meeting in person, try saying "Let's meet sometime!" You can take it a step further if you want and ask him to do more specific things, like lunch or coffee together.
Step 3. Tell him that you will keep in touch with him
If you don't feel comfortable meeting him in person or living in a different place/city, but still want to keep in touch with him every now and then, try saying "We need to keep in touch, okay!" You can also say something more specific like “I'll call you next week” or “I'll call you after I get home from Purwokerto and tell me about my trip!”
Step 4. Say goodbye
After letting him know that you're happy to be back in touch with him, it's time to say goodbye. Since you have already set the moment to end the chat, you can say something simple. In fact, sayings like “Okay! We'll chat again later. Take care! can be the perfect farewell.
Method 4 of 4: Leaving a Message
Step 1. Throw a greeting and say your name
It is possible that he may not be able to answer your calls at all, and your calls will be answered by a message machine (or perhaps voice mail). When leaving a message, start with the same steps of greeting and identifying yourself, as if he were answering a phone call.
Try saying, “Hi, Mark! This is Dede from Cibinong!”
Step 2. Say that you hope they are doing well
After saying your name, try saying, “I hope you are doing well” or “I hope you and Caca are doing well.” This is a good way to show you care about her condition, as well as being a "substitute" for questions about how she's doing. When sending a message, you certainly can't ask it and get an answer right away.
Step 3. Tell him why you called him
If you have a specific reason for contacting him (eg when you need help or have a question), mention that reason in the message. If you're just calling him to get back in touch or stay in touch, you could say, "Yesterday I thought of you and I thought I should call you." You don't have to give excuses or long stories. Just say that you remember him.
Step 4. Say something about yourself
Say a few sentences about how you are doing and what you have been doing. Tell me basic things related to what you do to pass the time. Make sure the message is short and not lengthy. If you don't, you'll appear to be more attracted to yourself than to him.
For example, try saying "I'm fine. I got a new job as a social media coordinator and now, I'm starting to enjoy tennis again."
Step 5. Let him know that you will call him back
Say sorry that you haven't been able to reach him during this time and let him know that he will have to call you back. Make sure you also provide a phone number and the correct time to contact you.
You could say, for example, “Call me back when you're not busy and we can catch up! If you like, usually I'm not busy in the afternoon."
Step 6. Say goodbye
Say a short goodbye when you're done providing contact information. Sayings like “Okay! Hopefully we can chat again soon! Bye! can be the right way to say goodbye.
Tips
- Take a deep breath before calling him. This can ease your nervousness.
- Always speak loudly and clearly, especially when you leave messages.
- If he's not interested in talking to you, don't take it to heart. Everyone changes, and some people don't feel the need to maintain friendships if you already live in a different city.
- If you and the other person have had a complicated relationship, you may find it a little awkward. Realize that this is normal, especially when it comes to chatting with your ex.
