Approaching a woman at a bar can trigger anxiety for a person. The fear of rejection and humiliation feels very threatening to many people. However, by following these steps and techniques, you can build your confidence and start approaching women at the bar boldly.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Starting a Conversation with a Woman
Step 1. Make eye contact with the woman you want to talk to
One of the best ways to show interest is to make eye contact. Make sure you don't stare too long so it doesn't look scary. He may not notice you at first, but don't give up. Make sure you're in his line of sight and try to get his attention when he looks at you.
- If a woman makes eye contact with you but her face looks stiff, confused, disgusted, or flat, she likely isn't interested.
- If a woman makes eye contact more than 2-3 times in a row, she is likely interested in you.
- Research shows that people who are in love look their partner in the eye longer.
Step 2. Smile and see if he smiles back
A smile has a thousand meanings. The smile you are looking for is a genuine smile made with the eye and mouth muscles, otherwise known as a Duchenne smile. Some women just smile to show friendliness, not an invitation to chat.
- People smile more when they see someone they find attractive.
- Smiling also makes you more approachable.
Step 3. Observe her body language
Is the position of the hands crossed? Does he avoid eye contact and distance himself from you? It was a sign he wasn't interested. A woman who is attracted to you often appears more upright with her knees facing you.
If he plays with or touches his hair, he may be really interested in you
Step 4. Walk up to him casually and introduce yourself
Never approach a woman from behind or make physical contact if you don't know her. This can frighten him and ruin your chances of talking to him. However, approach him casually from the front and smile while walking towards him.
- Don't walk straight into it like you're on a mission. However, walk towards it naturally and not forced.
- Some of the greetings you can say are “hi”, “hello”, “are you having a good time?” or “I saw you from across the bar.”
- You don't have to seduce him. Some women don't even like that.
Step 5. Ask if he wants you to buy him his favorite drink
One of the best ways to start a conversation is to talk about drinks. This is a friendly gesture that is definitely appreciated. Make sure you ask him what kind of drink he wants before buying it.
- If he refuses and seems uncomfortable, walk away.
- If the woman takes the drink, but isn't interested in chatting, you should accept it. Not all women want to be talked to.
Step 6. Sit next to him and try to find common ground
Take a seat nearby if he accepts your offer of a drink and seems eager to chat. Try to find common ground. You can take ideas from things around you, such as the city or area you live in, a regular bar, or your local sports team. Try to figure out his personality and talk about his favorite things.
Step 7. Practice the technique wherever you go
Practicing the technique outside of a bar or club is ideal because it can get you used to doing it without stress. Try this method at a supermarket, shopping center, or school to make new friends.
Practicing it in a non-stressful situation with a woman you don't have a crush on will get you into the habit of doing it without fear of rejection
Method 2 of 3: Approaching Girls in Groups
Step 1. Introduce yourself to a group of women
If you see a group of women sitting around, it is very important to recognize and treat each of them as equals. Even if you only have a crush on one person in the group, ignoring or ignoring his friend will make him angry, and make you look like an asshole.
- You may change targets if you meet someone more beautiful or attractive in the group. Just make sure you don't signal to more than one person so as not to cause trouble.
- Some opening sentences to try are "Hi, how are you guys tonight?" or “You all had fun, right?”
- Another great way to start a conversation is to ask their opinion on a relevant topic you're debating with a friend. Some examples are “My friend and I argued about Kanye's new album which I thought was as good as his old album. What do you think?” or “My friends think vodka is the best liquor, but I believe whiskey tastes better. How about you guys?”
- Shaking hands is a great way to make contact with women you've just met, but some of them may ask for a hug. If they want to hug you, welcome them with open arms.
Step 2. Turn on the party and buy drinks for him and his friends
If you can make a good impression in front of his friends, you will appear more attractive to him. In addition, there are some people who think that buying a woman a drink while ignoring her friends is rude.
- If you don't have enough money to buy everyone a drink, you can offer to buy a song playing on the jukebox.
- Don't be rude to one of his friends.
Step 3. Remember to pay special attention to him, but don't overdo it
While you want to keep his friend happy, you also don't want him to think you're not interested. Try to give him special attention, but don't act aggressive.
- When you talk to her friends, be sure to compliment her in a nonsexual context.
- If there is a break in the conversation or the group breaks up into individual groups, take the opportunity to talk to the person.
Method 3 of 3: Build Confidence and Keep Everything Natural
Step 1. Make sure you only expect to have fun
For people with social anxiety disorder, meeting new people can be therapeutic. However, high expectations can trigger additional stress because you will rely on those expectations. Instead of worrying about what you need to do, try to be free and have fun. Concentrate on pleasing yourself, not approaching a woman.
- For some people, hypersocial situations such as in a bar or club can cause anxiety. If you experience the disorder, try joining a local nature group or sports team before hitting the bar.
- Never expect to be intimate when you go out and meet new female acquaintances.
Step 2. Never be rude when rejected and don't get discouraged
Not everyone wants to talk to you and this is a reality you have to accept. Special situations, such as when a woman takes her out on a date, can make her reluctant to talk to you.
You should also understand that rejection is usually not a reflection of who you are as a person
Step 3. Believe in yourself
Even if you're tempted to fake it, women can tell if someone is being honest or feeling confident. Don't try to change your personality by telling lies and believe in yourself while accepting the positives and negatives.
- Thinking positively and maintaining a positive self-image will help you build self-confidence. If you're not sure you're a good person yourself, just think about all the things you've done to bring happiness to other people.
- Breathing slowly while relaxing your neck and shoulder muscles can also help you boost your confidence.
Step 4. Don't push yourself or get discouraged
You're bound to run into some resistance when you get a woman to talk. If this happens, don't feel hopeless and start targeting anyone in front of you. However, try to relax and accept that you won't be able to do it every day.
- Instead of getting upset, go home and do something you enjoy or order food from a favorite restaurant.
- Never insult a woman who refuses to be spoken to. This will only make you look like an asshole, and it can even deprive you of the chance to talk to other women for the rest of the night.
Step 5. Don't come to the bar if you don't have money
When you have no money to spend, you will feel insecure all night and you will feel stressed when you spend money. When you don't have the money, just look for other social events that don't cost you a lot.
- You can meet new people at the supermarket, park, or school if you don't have any money.
- Don't spend money at bars if you have responsibilities that are difficult to complete, such as paying rent or mortgages.
