It can be frustrating when an old friend doesn't seem that interested in you anymore. Maybe he already has new friends. Or, he could be going through a transition period that drains all his attention. If you want to get him to pay more attention to you, there are a few strategies you can try. Get his attention by interacting in different ways and giving him space. If that doesn't work, it's a good idea to consider the friendship you had with him.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Interact with him
Step 1. Offer help if necessary
Look for ways that can be followed to make a positive contribution to his life. That way, he can pay more attention to you. Build a sense of mutual help or even kinship with him. Your ability to figure out how to help her can also build a relationship based on give and take, and not just asking for all of her time.
When you lend a helping hand and present yourself as an “expert”, you can also highlight your credibility and increase the intensity of the attention you will get from it in the future. For example, if you're good at math, offer to help her with her homework and show her how useful your math skills are. When he realizes that you're the best person he can turn to for help and to learn math, chances are the amount of attention you're getting from him is greater than the amount of work at hand
Step 2. Update the boring chat
Instead of talking about the same things, find new, interesting topics to discuss with him. If you always talk about the same things, it will be easy for him to ignore or even guess what you are about to say. Keep what you want to talk about or some things to yourself a mystery. That way, he will listen to what you have to say so as not to miss something.
Also, take the time to listen carefully to stories about what he's interested in so you can contribute to conversations about areas he's passionate about. Usually, people feel good when they are truly heard and appreciated
Step 3. Surprise him
You can give anything as a surprise, such as a gift, a meeting, or lunch together. However, the surprise that is prepared does not need to drain large funds. The thing to remember is that you shouldn't "buy" his attention. However, show him that he is a special person to you.
Memorable gifts can be prepared at no cost (or for a small fee), but they still have a lot of meaning. Show that you listened to his story by remembering his special day or even sending him a new song from his favorite musician. Again, what matters is your intentions and kindness, and not the price of the gift you give
Step 4. Expect it to be his priority
Act like you deserve attention, and there's a good chance your friend will pay attention to you. Make sure he knows that you want to spend time with him. Try to be a true friend and show that you expect him to put in the same effort for you.
Make a commitment to yourself to be a priority in your life. You have to believe that you deserve this kind of relationship and affection
Method 2 of 3: Filling Your Time With Something Else
Step 1. Take your own time and don't contact her too often
By giving him space, you may be able to get more attention from him over a longer period of time. You may always give your presence so that you are easily forgotten. It may also be that he realizes that you are always there for him so he doesn't really appreciate your presence.
If you're always waiting for a phone call from him, maybe he doesn't feel the need to value your time. Refrain from spending as much time with him as possible and find other activities to fill your schedule
Step 2. Make new friends
If you doubt your friendship with him, make new friends to find out which character or type of friend suits you best. Acknowledge that you need attention from friends and find new friends who will give you what you need. In return, demonstrate and improve your skills as a good friend.
Set aside time in your schedule for other friends. In addition, set a time limit for your friend so they understand that you also have obligations to other people. Thus, the time you give to him will feel more valuable
Step 3. Take up a hobby
Find activities that you can do with other people or alone to pass the time. Having common interests and meeting friends who are experts in new hobbies/activities can form new strong friendships. Take this moment to listen and learn as your new friends talk about themselves and their interests. People love to talk about themselves and appreciate genuine concern.
You can also look for activities that you can do yourself. Apart from helping you thrive in other areas, you also don't have to depend on other people to have fun
Step 4. Do something your friend would never do with you
This doesn't necessarily mean you need to do anything dangerous or illegal. However, try to open yourself up to try new challenges and enjoy a new atmosphere.
- Counter the way he views you by exploring areas he didn't expect you to try (or something he didn't want to do). Join a new club at school to gain experience and new friends. Make some things in your life a mystery to him so you can attract his attention.
- The existence of "mystery" in a friendship can draw a lot of attention from a relationship that may feel bland.
Method 3 of 3: Re-evaluating Friendship
Step 1. Talk to him about his lack of attention
Take control of your feelings and let him know how you feel because he hasn't spent time with you in a long time. Instead of complaining right away or accusing him of not caring, explain that you feel like you haven't spent time together in a while and that it upsets you.
- Tell me exactly what you experienced or felt. For example, if you usually go out to lunch together and your habits change, let him know that you miss the moment. If the situation doesn't allow him to go out to lunch with you again, offer some alternative options to fill or “pay” for the void.
- You could say, for example, “In the last few days, I missed you during lunch break. Looks like I haven't seen you in a long time. How about we make plans for this weekend?”
Step 2. Begin your sentences with the word “I” to show how you feel when you are neglected
Pack your complaints well so you don't seem to blame him, and you can clearly tell him how you feel. Instead of blaming him for ignoring you or nagging because he's made a new friend, remind him that you really value your friendship with him.
Instead of saying that he is a bad friend, try saying, “I miss you. I feel sad that we haven't spent time together like we used to in a long time."
Step 3. Think about whether you have sacrificed more in your friendship than your friend
Friendship will not always be balanced, but at least both parties must be willing to give and take. Do you feel your needs are being met when you form a friendship with him? Are your needs realistic? Everyone has the right and need to tell a story about themselves. Do you get a chance to tell a story or does the topic of conversation always relate to him?
Friendships can change over time. You have the right to evaluate what you can give in your relationship with your friends. Just because you have a history of friendship with him, doesn't mean you can continue to have friendships that make you suffer
Step 4. Think about the positives and negatives of your friendship
Make a plan to solve the problem at hand while respecting your friendship. If your friendship is fine overall, but you've been having trouble with him lately, it's a good idea to try to save your friendship with him. On the other hand, if you feel more sadness than happiness, this might be a good time to end your friendship with him.
