Emotional triggers are usually formed from past experiences. When we re-experience a situation that reminds us of that experience, our emotions are provoked. The inability to control negative emotions that make us react spontaneously will lead to emotional outbursts that we eventually regret. If this is allowed, this condition will continue to haunt and control us. This article describes some ways to deal with emotional triggers and control the negative reactions they cause.
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Method 1 of 5: Identifying Emotional Triggers
Step 1. Pay close attention to your reactions
Sometimes, negative emotions just appear without us knowing the trigger. In order to identify emotional triggers and deal with them, pay attention to your reactions.
Step 2. Keep a journal to identify emotional triggers
Write down how you felt, your reactions, where you were when the trigger occurred, who you were with, and what you were doing at the time. Journaling about these things helps you remember what triggered your emotions. Reread your notes while observing the emotion that provokes the impulsive and intense reaction known as the "fight or flight" reaction. This reaction occurs when a person feels threatened.
Step 3. Know what emotions do and how they work
Emotions help us when communicating with others. In addition to preparing and motivating us to act, emotions also generate a desire for self-righteousness. Sometimes, emotions are triggered by external events, but they can also be due to internal influences, such as our own thoughts and feelings. There are 6 main emotions, namely:
- Love.
- Happy.
- Angry.
- Sad.
- Afraid.
- Shy.
Step 4. Recognize your emotions
Our bodies respond to the emotions we feel. For example, your heart will beat faster when you are afraid. When you are angry, your body will feel tense or hotter than usual. Recognize your emotions by paying attention to the clues your body gives you. This way, you can calm and control your emotions before they get to you.
Method 2 of 5: Avoiding or Changing Emotional Triggers
Step 1. Change your lifestyle
Old habits are hard to change and changing emotional triggers falls into this category. You should replace some old habits and activities with new ones to avoid and change emotional triggers. In addition, stay away from environments that are sure to trigger emotions.
- For example, if you tend to get emotional when you meet someone who throws a tantrum when they're drunk, stay away from them when they're drinking.
- If you're easily triggered when you're short on money to pay your bills, review your budget to create a savings plan.
- Do not consume alcohol and drugs. You will find it difficult to control your emotions and anger if you are under the influence of drugs and have to deal with emotional triggers.
Step 2. Take time to be alone
Being alone can sometimes help you calm yourself down so you can be ready to face problems again. Take this opportunity to identify the emotions you are feeling and deal with them in a positive way. For example, if you're angry with someone and don't want to say or do something that would hurt them, it might be best to stay alone for a while. At this point, you can think about how to deal with this person or consider whether you need to respond.
Step 3. Develop tolerance skills
Avoiding emotional triggers is only beneficial in the short term, not long term. For example, if your emotions are easily triggered in a crowd, your response would be to avoid crowds. This decision will limit your social life. To overcome this, experiment by exposing yourself to things that trigger emotions. Start with triggers that you can easily deal with and then gradually increase as you can. Continue this way until you are able to control your emotions because whatever you are going through is no longer triggering emotions.
Method 3 of 5: Overcoming Inevitable Triggers
Step 1. Determine ways to deal with emotional triggers
Think about what you want when faced with emotional triggers and what you will do to achieve them. If you can't afford to pay the bill, call the creditor to arrange a payment schedule. If your temper is fueled by not having time to cook dinner before attending the board meeting, order takeaway.
Step 2. Take the opposite action to deal with negative emotions
When we feel negative emotions, we tend to reinforce them by being negative. If you shut yourself off when you feel sad and lonely, you'll be even more sad and lonely. To overcome this, find friends and a positive social environment. Engage in activities that generate positive feelings.
Step 3. Do positive things to form positive memories
Emotional triggers are not always negative. A pleasant experience will create beautiful memories. The smell of the biscuits being baked reminds me of the holidays at Grandma's house. Listening to love songs as a teenager will bring back fond memories of the first date.
Step 4. Use emotional control skills or coping skills to tolerate unpleasant feelings
After that, take action to deal with these feelings. Take actions that do not make the situation worse so that it is good for yourself, for example:
- Diverts attention to tolerating unpleasant feelings.
- Keeping yourself busy with activities/hobbies, for example: knitting, drawing, or watching movies.
- Share time for others by volunteering, helping someone, or doing something good for someone else.
- Provoking conflicting emotions. Try to provoke an emotion that is different from the one you are currently feeling, for example: watching a comedy movie or reading a humorous book.
- Ignore and forget problematic situations or block them in your mind.
- Using thoughts to distract, for example: reading, planning a fun activity, or counting to ten.
- Using physical sensations, for example: holding an ice cube, getting a massage, or taking a warm bath.
- Practice feeling calm. Rest the five senses by feeling pleasant and comfortable sensations.
Step 5. Fix the current situation
Find other ways to tolerate the stress you're experiencing right now. Visualize, meditate, pray, relax, focus, or take a short vacation. Give yourself a boost. You are stronger than you think. By now, you've taken action to make changes.
Method 4 of 5: Controlling Emotions
Step 1. Change your beliefs
Look at your current situation from a different perspective. Don't think of problems as obstacles, but see them as opportunities to grow. For example, if your job isn't fun, remember that you can change what you don't like. Look at your current job as training and to improve your bio so that when you want to apply for another job, you will be rewarded higher.
Step 2. Define boundaries
Sometimes, emotional triggers are the result of not having boundaries and not positioning other people properly. Having boundaries lets others know what you agree with and what you reject. Boundaries also define what you want and don't want to do.
Step 3. Reduce vulnerability to negative emotions
Our bodies are like machines. If we drive a car without gasoline or regular maintenance, of course it will break down. If we neglect physical care, not just when we are sick, it will affect our emotions in a detrimental way. Therefore, we must take care of ourselves by:
- Cure physical ailments. You will feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you are sick. Get medical treatment and rest for a speedy recovery.
- Adopt a balanced diet. Don't eat too much or too little. A balanced diet keeps your emotions under control. Choosing healthy foods also helps you feel more positive.
- Get in the habit of getting enough sleep at night. Set a nightly sleep schedule so that you get enough sleep each day.
- Get used to exercising. Exercising while being active for 20 minutes every day will help balance your emotions.
Step 4. Enjoy the positives
When you experience positive feelings, try to take time to relax and have a pleasant experience. Embrace the goodness, happiness, and comfort you feel. Do (at least) one fun thing every day to make you stronger and happier, for example:
- Laugh.
- Walk in the park.
- Bicycle.
- Read a book.
Step 5. Live a decent life by making small daily changes
This way brings more positive things in the long run. Work on getting the job you want, changing careers, or improving yourself by doing small things every day. Do something to increase your ability and self-confidence to put your emotions in control and make you feel more worthy.
Method 5 of 5: Asking for Help
Step 1. Tell family members and friends about the issues that trigger your emotions and how you feel
Talking to other people can help relieve emotional triggers and increase understanding. Family and friends know you better than anyone else. They know when to anticipate emotional triggers so they can help you get through this situation well.
- Ask them to help you calm down and find comfort. The attention of others can overcome emotional imbalance.
- If your emotional distress is related to insecurity, ask a friend or family member for help. For example, if you are afraid to go out alone, ask them to accompany you to the mall or to the salon.
Step 2. Get professional help
See the right counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Many people have difficulty controlling their emotions and dealing with the triggers of negative emotions. Mental health professionals can help you identify emotional triggers and teach you how to deal with them.
Step 3. Consult a spiritual director, pastor, or doctor
They are able to help people who are experiencing emotional problems or provide referrals to other competent people. A chaplain or pastor can provide spiritual guidance as you practice controlling your emotions. Your doctor will prescribe medication as needed so you can treat emotional disorders, such as stress and depression.
Step 4. Read a self-improvement book that discusses emotions and their triggers
Start by reading a book on how to control anger and negative emotions. Books that deal with trauma can help you find out what triggers your negative emotions. If you already know why, read books on the topic. For example, if your emotional trigger is violence you've experienced in the past, find a book that discusses domestic violence.
Step 5. Join a support group
People in the support group are ready to help and they are able to understand your emotions. In a supportive group, usually there are members who have experienced the same problem so that they can provide positive feedback. Find a support group in a nearby location by searching the internet for information or asking a counselor or therapist.
