Sometimes jealousy is natural and can be motivating. However, if you feel disappointed when you see an Instagram photo featuring the clothes, job, or car you desire, it sounds like you have a problem that needs to be addressed. At times, jealousy can make you feel paranoid that interferes with your relationships and those of those closest to you. Although difficult to overcome, this problem must be addressed immediately so that you are able to live your daily life calmly and confidently. Therefore, Try to overcome jealousy, focus on new things, and develop yourself.
Method 1 of 3: Overcoming Jealousy
Step 1. Breathe deeply as jealousy begins to overwhelm you
Maybe you're jealous because you saw your boyfriend chatting with another girl or your friend buying the car you wanted. Instead of feeling upset, try to calm yourself down. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 5 seconds and then exhale through your mouth. Do it over and over again until you feel calm.
If you want to discuss a problem, do this when you've calmed down. For example, when you see your boyfriend talking to another girl, calm down and say hello to them. The girl may be your lover's co-worker or classmate
Step 2. Don't access social media
There are so many photos on social media that show fragments of other people's lives that trigger jealousy. However, you don't know that the girl who always uploads photos of her boyfriend's flowers is actually not happy. Don't access social media if you haven't gotten rid of jealousy because people only post photos that make them look good.
If you can't avoid social media, don't open other people's accounts that make you feel jealous
Step 3. Don't criticize or speak harshly to others
When you feel jealous, you may criticize or ignore the success of others. Keep in mind that this is a sign that you are worried and upset the other person. Instead of being negative, give them credit for their success. Don't leave unflattering comments.
For example, if your boyfriend tells you about a new coworker at work, don't say, "Oh, since he's so smart, you want to date him?" Let your lover tell you things without fear of being mistreated
Step 4. Be honest about your feelings if the two of you are close enough
If you're feeling jealous of a sibling, best friend, or lover and this has been going on for a long time, be honest about how you feel. You will be free from negative feelings and can breathe a sigh of relief after telling the truth.
For example, say to a friend, "Sis, I've always been disappointed because you were accepted at the best university, but I failed. I'm jealous because you got what I dreamed of. I feel guilty for envying you."
Step 5. Think about what the two of you have in common
Get rid of jealousy by finding out what you have in common with him. The more similarities, the less reason to be jealous!
For example, you might feel jealous because your next door neighbor has the luxury car you want. Keep in mind that you both live in the same housing estate and may have built a house of the same model. Perhaps the two of you were once schoolmates and had mutual friends
Method 2 of 3: Focusing Attention on New Things
Step 1. Determine why you feel jealous
In order to overcome jealousy, try to find out what triggers it. Do you feel inferior and worried? Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship? Are you demanding too much from others? Once you know why, think about ways to deal with jealousy or improve your attitude towards others.
- Keeping a journal every day helps you determine the cause of your jealousy.
- A professional therapist can help you find the source of the problem and resolve it.
Step 2. Give praise to people who excel
Be prepared for failure if you hate successful people. When you see other people doing things you enjoy, compliment them to show respect and humility.
- For example, if your friend has had a great career, say to her, "Meli, you seem to have a lot of fun at your job. You must be getting awards and promotions often. That's great! Any suggestions for me?"
- Lately, your lover is paying more attention to you. Tell him that you appreciate his kindness.
Step 3. Find out your strengths
Instead of paying attention to other people's activities, focus on yourself! Set aside time to write or think about at least 3 things that are your strengths, such as hosting meetings, cooking, being a good listener, or being a hard worker.
Do one activity each day according to your strengths, such as cooking a delicious meal
Step 4. Write down all the things you are grateful for
You receive a blessing every morning when you wake up. Keep this in mind and think of one thing you are grateful for each day. In this way, you will be able to overcome jealousy by appreciating what you have.
Be grateful for all the blessings you enjoy! For example, be grateful that you have a mother who is kind, supportive, and loves you. Perhaps you have been accepted into a very good university and are about to start college
Step 5. Meditate every day
Meditation helps you clear your mind and focus on what's important. Jealousy will pollute your mind, but it's a relief if you can set aside at least 10 minutes each morning to sit quietly in a distraction-free place. During meditation, focus on your breath and the physical sensations you are feeling.
If you don't know how to meditate yet, download the Simple Habit or Calm apps
Step 6. Make wise decisions
Maybe you're jealous because a rich friend always takes you out to an expensive restaurant or takes a trip abroad that costs a lot of money. Instead of letting him control you, be in control! Choose the restaurant you want and don't go on vacation if you can't afford it. Instead, make plans for a vacation out of town.
Say to your friend, "Hey Yos, I'm happy to eat at a five-star restaurant with you, but honestly, it's too expensive for me. If you still want to have dinner with me every week, that's fine, but I'll decide the restaurant. Agree?"
Step 7. Have fun every day to distract yourself from jealousy
You can't think of anything that triggers jealousy when you're having fun! Plan activities that you look forward to each day, such as watching your favorite TV show, buying ice cream, or shopping. Life is short. So enjoy every day!
Method 3 of 3: Improving Your Life
Step 1. Define short-term and long-term goals
Use jealousy to motivate yourself so you can achieve your best. Determine life goals according to the things you dream of and then think about the actions that must be taken to achieve these goals. Set goals that you want to achieve in the next 5 days and things you want to focus on in the next 5 years.
For example, you want to work with a high salary. As a short-term goal, try to get A's in all subjects. As a long-term goal, find a mentor or join an internship program according to the field you are studying
Step 2. Make a travel plan
Ask yourself if you're jealous that everyone can have fun. Prepare events for yourself! Plan a weekend for you and your loved one, visit a museum, or take a trip to the beach. Do activities that make you feel happy!
Step 3. Take care of your health
You will not focus on others if you always put your own health first. Build self-confidence by exercising at least 3 times a week. Eat a healthy diet consisting of vegetables, fruits, and lean meats. Get in the habit of sleeping at least 8 hours every day.
Drink water as needed
Step 4. Interact with positive people
Maybe you're jealous because you're hanging out with people who are intentionally jealous. This is a disgraceful attitude. Instead of socializing in a negative environment, spend more time with friends who are kind, honest, and humble!
A positive person is always supportive, honest, kind, and willing to help. Negative people will always insult, criticize, and drain you of energy
Step 5. Consult a counselor who can help you deal with jealousy
If this problem keeps you from enjoying life, it's time to ask someone else for help. Many professional therapists are trained to help clients overcome jealousy, jealousy, or inferiority. The problem will only get worse if you stay silent. So, there's nothing wrong with asking other people for help!