Have you ever thought why you are inferior? Some people worry about certain parts of their appearance while others worry about their status, intelligence, or financial problems. If you feel like you're being judged by others, it's important to realize that there's no point in letting other people define you. On a deeper level, one of the biggest reasons why you feel inferior is deep introspection and a lack of confidence in your own ability to interact or work. Learn how to shut down your inner critic and find constructive ways to reduce feelings of anxiety about yourself. It's time to start living again!
Step
Part 1 of 5: Knowing the Triggers That Make You Insecure
Step 1. Find out what makes you feel inferior
Something about your physical appearance? Strangeness in your eyes? Your accent? Your disability (mentally or physically)? Your intellectual abilities? Make a list of things that make you anxious about yourself. Leave the column next to this list blank. After you finish writing down anything that makes you feel inferior, you can write down what actions you can take to minimize feelings of insecurity associated with each thing.
Step 2. Challenge negative thoughts
Feelings of insecurity often stem from worrying that others will confirm negative thoughts about us or fixate on things that make us feel inferior. If negative thoughts tell you that you are overweight and you believe that thought, you too will feel very sick and feel inferior when someone says you should lose a few pounds. This is because your negative thoughts have convinced you that you are overweight and that it is not a good thing.
- When these negative thoughts come, don't fight them or accept them. Instead, try to act as if the thought just said something really silly like "You're a flying unicorn," something you believe isn't true or you don't think is a bad thing.
- Remember that the inner critic, the part of you that is voicing these negatives, is not a reliable or trustworthy voice. Many people who feel inferior believe that this voice is the voice of reality, but it is not.
Part 2 of 5: Checking Your Reality
Step 1. Realize that people don't really pay attention to you that much
People are usually too busy thinking about themselves to pay much attention to the little oddities or differences in you. If you feel inferior about the size of your nose, you can make yourself sure that everyone you meet is paying attention to your nose. When you believe everyone is fixated on one part of this look, there's little chance that they'll notice the sheer size or they might not think about it at all.
Step 2. Review criticism from others
Whenever you think someone else is "better than you," draw that critique to yourself and examine it. It's likely that you overestimate an aspect of the person and underestimate something of an imperfect person about him or herself.
Step 3. Realize that self-confidence can be learned
Like most skills, self-confidence and a willingness to accept ourselves can be learned and developed if we take the time and practice. People often say "fake it until it really happens" and this can be done to have self-confidence. Try to act as if you believe that you deserve sympathy, respect and love despite your flaws. In the end, you "will" believe this.
Try practicing some of the concepts outlined in this article to start developing self-confidence and reducing your feelings of inferiority
Part 3 of 5: Controlling Your Reactions
Step 1. Think about whether you have judged other people harshly before?
Nobody is perfect, and you never notice their little quirks. So why would they notice your little quirks? If you're not going to think or talk bad about your best friend, why would you think or talk bad about yourself? Try to be a good friend to yourself. Here are some ways to be a friend to yourself:
- Even if you don't really feel that way, at least try to act like there's nothing to worry about. Over time, you will really feel that way.
- Your greatest strength lies between the trigger and how you respond to it. So try to take control.
- Always imagine yourself aware that you look attractive and feel great in front of other people, but don't think too much about it because this confidence is already built into you.
- Catch yourself looking down on yourself or comparing yourself to others. Don't get mad at yourself but just be aware of this behavior and tell yourself to stop and find a more constructive way of looking at yourself.
Step 2. Challenge yourself
It's an effective way to push yourself. When you feel that doing something can make you feel confident and excited but you can't do it because you feel anxious or insecure, try challenging yourself at the same time.
For example, say to yourself "I challenge you to venture into an awkward situation." Another example, "Try to go to the girl/boy at the bar and try to talk to her, even if you don't really want to." Remember, don't scold or scold yourself even if you fail at the challenge, remembering that you should reward yourself for having the courage to try
Step 3. Make fun of yourself
But not in the context of self-defense, but in a low-key, witty way of admitting that you're not perfect and that you don't care about that fact. After dropping a jar of peanut butter in front of someone you like and watching it shatter into pieces and peanut butter splattering all over the place, try to laugh out loud at your carelessness and crack a joke that you should have double-sided tape prevent things like this from happening. After that, say sorry and help clean up any mess that happened.
Step 4. Leave it alone, then forget it
Do not be too concerned about triggers feeling inferior. If you feel this feeling of inferiority starting to arise inside of you, tell yourself that things will be okay. Try to treat the feelings that arise as if you were paying attention to them, instead of feeling them. Allow the feeling to overwhelm you without allowing it to remain in you after it has passed. Try to be like a famous person, leader or friends you admire; people who make mistakes but get back up and move on with life without carrying the burden of hope or criticism from others.
- A little advice regarding criticism: Try to learn to distinguish the constructive and useful things said by people who do care from the hateful and destructive things said by people who don't care, envy or hate. Take lessons from things that are constructive and useful and don't ignore things that are full of hatred and destructiveness. You don't need hateful people in your life, so don't let them in.
- Practice how you respond to criticism. To respond to criticism without good faith, keep some standard responses in your head to respond to them without upsetting yourself or hurting the person making them. That way, you don't allow yourself to be a victim but you don't make yourself the guilty party either. Try to think your best and say something as simple as:
- "I'm surprised you feel you have to say such a thing. I object to you saying that to me."
- "You should know that I object to being criticized that harshly. I've tried my best and I don't want to accept your interpretation of me."
Part 4 of 5: Fixing Your Inner Effort
Step 1. Build your self-confidence
Try to understand carefully your self-worth. Replace the worry you feel about what other people think of you with thoughts of your own goals, accomplishments and progress.
- Write down your goals in life and progress so far. This will help you to be motivated in trying to achieve it.
- Share your progress on a goal with others. This can help to motivate you to keep trying as well as share your progress with the people who love you so they can continue to support your efforts. Choose people you can trust, don't tell people who can keep you from the progress you're making because they're not supportive of what you're doing.
- Watch your achievements. Celebrate when good things happen; Go out to dinner, call a friend, go for a walk in the hills or buy a music album on the internet. Acknowledge your accomplishments by rewarding yourself, instead of gloomy about things you could have done better.
Step 2. Try to be honest
Don't exaggerate and don't depress yourself with lies. Keep holding on to the truth. For example, if you're wearing a weird dress and people are looking at you in confusion and you're feeling "Oh, everyone hates this dress," try to stop that thought at the same time and ask yourself "Am I sure everyone hates it?" ? Doesn't anyone like him?"
Step 3. Be yourself
Don't pretend and make changes if you really want to. Try to take responsibility for your actions, mistakes and interests. In essence, being responsible for all things good and bad.
For example, if you want to fix an anxiety problem that is haunting you, you have to admit it and accept that you have an anxiety problem. Only then can you try to fix it
Step 4. Try to change your mind
You must realize that like everyone else, you are a part of this whole universe. It's a fact and no one can take it away from you. It's a right you are born with. Understand that no one is better or more important than you.
Therefore, you owe it to yourself and others to be the best version of yourself. Always try to bring out the best in yourself and share that with others. By always trying to bring out the best in yourself, you are helping yourself and those around you
Step 5. Just accept that you are who you are, no matter how outsiders perceive you
The "I am" feeling is constant. Think back to your childhood and think about "I" at that time. "I" is always the same, no matter age or station. "I" does not depend on anything. It doesn't grow or shrink, it's just that your thoughts make you feel like it's changing or depending on something else. So try to understand carefully that your figure is not dependent on anything or anyone. Thinking like this really helps your self-confidence.
As Judy Garland once said: "Be the best version of yourself, not the second best version of someone else". Try your best to do this
Step 6. Observe the thought patterns that come to mind while you are sitting still or working
If your thoughts are what other people think of you, be careful. Don't let your mind have these thoughts. The same thoughts will arise and create a tunnel that you will be forced to go through when the opportunity arises.
Read books to help yourself. Try asking your favorite teacher about this problem or you can google it, go to the library or to a bookstore
Step 7. Divert your attention
If you start to feel inferior, try to find another target to distract yourself. This distraction can be anything. You can try noticing insects crawling on the floor and concentrate on them. What color is the insect? How many legs? Use anything that distracts from yourself. This distraction will take you back to the present and your surroundings.
If you feel inferior when you talk to other people, shift your focus to listening to what other people have to say. Try to focus on the words, not on how you look or what you should say next. This is effective in overcoming your self-confidence issues
Part 5 of 5: Doing External Things to Improve Yourself
Step 1. Try saying self-affirmations in front of a mirror
Tell yourself that you are positive, good at what you do and ready to make changes when needed. Repeat frequently for effective results.
Some affirmations you can say include: "I'm a good person and deserve to be loved and respected," "I'm more than insecure," "I'm trying my best and that's all I can do."
Step 2. Release yourself from the criticism of others who are judgmental and don't want to help you
When you allow others to judge you, you give up your happiness and give it to others. Don't let other people tell you who you are. This is your life, not theirs. It's hard to stick to what you believe in and be who you really are, but if you're trying to do that, you're already trying to bring out the best in you.
Surround yourself with people who make you happy. Being around negative people will only bring you down. It may sound cliché, but think about how you feel when you're around positive people and how you feel when you're around negative people. These two things are very different and surely you know which one you prefer
Warning
- Stop seeking approval from others. If you depend your whole life on validation from others, you won't be able to overcome this feeling of inferiority either.
- Don't always get defensive. If you are wrong, try to sincerely admit it because this is not the end of the world. Everyone makes mistakes. Please apologize and move on after that.
- Sometimes people try to bully you if they feel you're vulnerable (that's how bullies work–find your weaknesses and take advantage of them.) If you're in this situation, try to walk away or refuse to join in. Never waste time impressing them or trying to defend yourself against the projections of anger and self-doubt that they actually feel.
- You are the harshest critic of yourself. Realize that no one judges you as hard as you judge yourself.
