Everyone must have felt nervous when eating in front of many people. Whether on a first date, a business meeting, or a family event, you may feel awkward and don't like it. By using practical tips, looking for causes of nervousness, and practicing your skills, you'll eat confidently in front of whoever you want.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Applying Practical Instructions
Step 1. Start with small steps and bites
Your goal here is to eat small portions of food to keep things under control. This way, you'll be ready if someone asks you a question, because you'll be able to chew your food and swallow it in no time. In addition, this will prevent delays in the conversation.
Step 2. Prepare the napkin
If needed, these napkins can hide any problems/incidents that might occur. If you put food in your mouth, use a napkin to wipe the edges and fronts. This tactic will help you feel more worthy and perfect.
Step 3. Avoid ordering messy meals
Any food that has a lot of sauce or needs to be eaten by hand will add a challenge to your situation. Stick to food that can be easily consumed according to the shape of your fork and mouth. Examples are small pasta dishes and grilled vegetables. Plus, lean cuts of meat and baked potatoes. These foods can be cut into small pieces without falling apart.
Some mess is unavoidable. The important thing to remember is that you can always call the maid to clean up anything that's messy. Most waiters are very understanding and used to messy food in restaurants
Step 4. Find a reliable source and learn table manners
Many books have been written, classes taught, and consultants hired to help people learn manners.
- Find the method that works best for you and dive into the learning experience. Your goal is to learn how to properly handle yourself during the dinner experience, so that your self-confidence will be boosted. This way, you will feel proud in demonstrating your abilities.
- Table manners differ from culture to culture. Learn to embrace these differences. If you are in a culturally diverse environment, you will notice differences in table manners. This doesn't mean other people's habits are bad.
- When traveling to another country, learn proper table manners to avoid confusion. For example, in some cultures, hiccups are an accepted habit when eating, while in others it is considered rude.
Step 5. Master table manners
If you learn proper table manners, you can be sure that your confidence while eating will develop. Mastering skills takes time and practice. The good news is, you eat several times a day, so you'll have plenty of opportunity to practice.
- Have a meal sitting in front of a mirror or record yourself evaluating personal manners. Make the necessary changes and keep doing them until you feel comfortable re-watching yourself. Once you know how to present yourself in front of others, you will be less critical of yourself.
- If you notice you've eaten a large piece of food or are talking when your mouth is full, adjust your actions accordingly. Look at the habits that have been corrected, this means that you have started to be successful.
Step 6. Teach others to be comfortable
When you become an expert in a skill and teach it to others, it will harden/make your abilities and confidence permanent. Not everyone gets the opportunity to learn table manners, so they feel embarrassed to eat in front of many people. You can help these people overcome the same difficulties you have already overcome.
- Avoid offering help to someone who doesn't ask you for help. Sometimes the best way to teach is by example. Subjects such as these may be sensitive to discussion.
- When the time is right, involve the kids in fun games that allow you to teach table manners.
Method 2 of 3: Coping With Nervousness
Step 1. Use problem solving techniques to make changes
Focus your attention on solving problems when eating in front of many people. Approaching personal struggles with a problem to solve attitude will provide a step-by-step structure that you must change. Generating creative solutions is an important component of solving problems.
- Make a list of things you'd like to change about how you react when you're in a dinner situation, or want to start a nice conversation and not worry about food that might get your face dirty.
- Identify possible solutions to each problem on your list. Search the internet for a restaurant's menu and review it before going to the restaurant. After arriving, choose foods that are easy to consume. If food gets on your face, always have a napkin ready to clean it.
- After you've written the list and the solutions, sign them to symbolize your commitment to the process. Ask a witness to sign it too, so that you can be held accountable for personal actions.
- After each event, determine if there's anything you could do differently next time, and identify what went well.
Step 2. Relax before, during, and after meals
When you are calm, everything seems to be under control. Your job is to create a sense of calm for yourself. This way, you can enjoy your food without worrying about it. Experimenting with different methods will help you stay calm.
- Before eating, close your eyes and imagine that you are enjoying your food and having a good conversation. Imagine a waiter delivering delicious food to your taste. Realize that other people around you are also focused on their food, not you.
- Remember to take deep breaths as you eat between each bite. This will help you to stay calm and focus on yourself when you are feeling nervous. Tell yourself that you will relax more and more with each breath.
- After eating, take a few minutes to sit down and be grateful for what you ate, the company you had, and the experience you were able to enjoy. The goal is to create a positive experience when you wake up.
Step 3. Realize that you are unfairly comparing yourself to others
Negative self-assessments are sometimes connected to feelings of unworthiness, and can be made worse by constant comparisons with others. You may feel so bad about yourself that you don't want to make judgments about how you eat anymore. Focus on building yourself up rather than self-destructing worrying about feeling stupid, careless, and embarrassing yourself.
- Don't let that stop you from trying, caring and participating with friends and family on special food-related events.
- Look in the mirror and say, "You're not stupid, you're careless, and you won't embarrass yourself when you eat in front of people."
- Question your personal perception. You may judge yourself harshly, without any helpful evidence that you can fail in social situations involving food.
- Don't look at other people if you think you've judged how they eat. When you judge other people, it only reinforces the belief that everyone else is judging you, because you are judging them. Not everyone does. You can be one of those people.
Step 4. Change your thinking
A thought can ultimately change feelings, which in turn can change beliefs. You may notice a lot of negative thoughts that will indicate that there is room for self-improvement. Focus on generating positive thoughts to replace negative thoughts.
- A thought such as, “I'm nervous about eating in public” may stem from an assuming feeling, “People will judge me when I eat.” This will reflect your negative belief, “I was careless and there is nothing I can do.”
- If you notice you're thinking negatively about yourself, stop and challenge that negative self-evaluation. Write down your thoughts in a diary so you can keep track of them. To start the process, ask questions like, what do I say about myself when I'm nervous, clumsy, or awkward eating in front of other people? In what ways do I disappoint myself? How do I evaluate my resolve?
- After writing all this down, rate the strength of your belief from 0 to 100%. Then challenge your beliefs by questioning the evidence used to help them. Your goal in using a diary is to have a balanced system of personal evaluation.
- Focus on learning to accept yourself as you are. Identify your positive qualities and write them down. For example, ask yourself: what do you do well? What difficulties have you faced? What positive qualities do other people see in you? Are you responsible, artistic, or creative? When you see a lot of positive qualities, absorb them and never forget them. Do not minimize or cross out as irrelevant. All of these things will always mean.
- Stop the habit of self-hatred and bad thoughts by doing something. Be the first to congratulate yourself on your good work. Try to see the positive in the way other people see you.
Step 5. Use positive self-talk to prepare for common situations
Be the biggest supporter who is always by your side. Say to yourself, “You enjoy food and believe that it will taste good and nourish your body. You have a napkin on your lap if you need one. There's nothing for you to worry about."
Step 6. Gain perspective on the eating process
Food is energy and everyone needs energy to survive. If you get rid of the socially involved aspect of eating and see it as an important function of life, this trick can reduce the stress you feel. Every time you sit down to eat, shift the focus of your mind and see this as your time to re-energize your body. You can't do the things you want if you don't have the energy.
- Focus on the fact that you are taking positive action for your body rather than worrying about how you will look when you eat.
- Explore food choices on healthy habits. When the menu arrives, you'll be ready to choose foods that you'll be proud to eat for their healthful properties.
Method 3 of 3: Practice Skills
Step 1. Invite your close friends for a meal
Start walking with small, comfortable steps. Close friends or family members are unlikely to judge, especially if you tell them you're trying to improve your response to eating in public.
- Ask a friend to observe and tell if there is something odd about the way you eat. An open discussion will help you make adjustments if needed. You'll find that other people have gone through the same thing and can appreciate you discussing this issue.
- Openly welcome any suggestions you haven't tried. This way, you will grow.
Step 2. Laugh about challenges in life
Laughter can heal many situations. Challenge yourself to laugh to relax. Don't take things too seriously. Feeling awkward in front of someone while you're eating isn't the biggest problem you'll have. Life can get even worse, so laugh and help yourself to see the positives in life.
Find a suitable place that won't get you in trouble when making a mess of food. Sit with a friend at the table paying attention to food that is in a very messy and sloppy state. It's time to play! Cross the line and cover your face with food. Play with you and your friend's food. The goal here is to release the stress associated with self-anxiety, and experience the feeling of being utterly imperfect
Step 3. Forget the prohibitions and eat
Don'ts are limits you set for yourself and behavior. This can make you feel constrained and self-conscious. Positive people tend to have lower inhibition rates, which makes them cooperate with the change process.
- Face every food with a positive attitude and say to yourself, “This food must be delicious and no one can stop me from eating it. Nothing can hold me back.”
- A whole world of food enjoyment can open up to you if you are comfortable eating in public.
Step 4. Be brave to go on a date
Dating someone can be nerve-wracking. The two of you will evaluate each other for compatibility, and that can develop into something big. Use relaxation techniques and practice your skills. You may talk a lot (or not) or you may talk just as much. Whatever happens, make sure you're ready to eat with confidence.
- Try meeting just for coffee and snacks to build your confidence.
- If you're going out for lunch or dinner, stay away from foods like spaghetti, corn on the cob, barbecue ribs, and foods that get dirty easily.
- Remember, you can always have a box ready to take home leftovers. Don't feel pressured to eat whatever is on your plate.
- Also, remember that sharing desserts can be fun if you enjoy dating to that point.
Step 5. Have a party when you're ready
You will reach a point of comfort when eating in front of one or more people. Your self-confidence will be well-formed and you will feel like you can take care of yourself in any situation. You may not be eating throughout the party, but when you do, it will be a positive experience.
Every social situation provides an opportunity to grow and become more comfortable
Step 6. Seek professional help if needed
Your clumsiness when eating in public may be related to social anxiety. If you are struggling with this, or just want a professional opinion, seek the guidance of a professional counselor.
- Signs of social anxiety or phobia include: a constant fear of social situations in which you will be judged, humiliated, and observed. Anxiety can be triggered when waiting for situations like this. This is a curable condition. The available treatment options can be discussed with a therapist or doctor.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy is one type of effective therapy for social anxiety disorder.
- Group therapy is also effective when combined with a problem-solving approach. Group therapy may focus specifically on social anxiety, or it may be set up to address other adaptation problems.
Tips
- Making changes may be difficult, but the results will be worth it.
- You may disappoint yourself; but you need to be the first to give yourself a second chance.
- Break the negative cycle of belief. If your thoughts are constantly leading you to untrue thoughts, it's time to generate different thoughts.
- Avoid eating before the event. This is important so that you feel hungry and interested in food.
- Don't hold back on unrealistic expectations. Be kind to yourself during times of struggle.
- You will not die of shame, even if you throw a whole plate of food on yourself, or on someone else, or on the floor. Incidents like this are common.
- Take a break and go to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Check for anything on your face or stuck in your teeth. Precautions will help prevent embarrassing situations.
- Fill your life with supportive people and avoid those who don't.
Warning
- Don't let this problem go on forever so as not to spoil the joy of life by limiting your social events. If you keep turning down invitations to go out with friends, they'll eventually stop asking questions. This will make you feel isolated and can lead to more serious psychological problems.
- Allow the friend you trust the most to help you through the tough times.
- If someone in your life is constantly finding fault with the things you do, consider ending the friendship with them. This would be a very positive thing to do.
- If you suffer from severe fear or anxiety in social situations, contact a counselor to find alternatives.
