Failure is an inevitable part of life. However, sometimes these obstacles can leave you feeling discouraged and depressed. Focusing on the positives and trying to view failure as an opportunity to learn can help you avoid feeling discouraged when life presents you with trials.
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Method 1 of 3: Choosing Your View of Life
Step 1. Imagine that you have successfully reached your goal
Imagine how happy you will be when you get a promotion at work or achieve your weight loss goals. Focus on the positive outcome of achieving your goals, rather than getting discouraged because your goals may seem so far away.
For example, if you want to save for a vacation, determine how much money you will need for the trip and think about how you can achieve that goal. Don't feel overwhelmed if the plan feels overwhelming at first. Maybe you can quit snacking or unsubscribe from cable for a year to save. Imagine how happy you will be as you accumulate more and more money for a vacation
Step 2. Focus on your success
Avoid focusing on past failures or difficulties that can be very discouraging. Instead, focus on your successes and the actions you can take to move forward toward your goals.
If you're trying to lose weight and have a bad weekend when you overeat and forget to exercise, don't beat yourself up for it. Instead, focus on what you're already doing right, like getting back on track on Monday morning or resting your body and mind for the rest of the week
Step 3. See failure as an opportunity to learn
Everyone has failed at something at some point. Remember that just because you fail doesn't mean you are a failure. Failure is simply an opportunity to learn about what worked and didn't work the next time around.
- If you experience failure, try not to dwell on the negative side all the time. Reflecting on your failures is discouraging and unproductive, so instead try to look for the opportunities that lie in failure.
- For example, losing a job can be an opportunity to find a more satisfying job or return to education. The end of a relationship can be an opportunity to focus more on loving yourself and developing your friendship.
Step 4. Set realistic goals
Unrealistic goals will prepare you to feel discouraged, so make sure the goals you want to achieve are realistic and can be met within a reasonable time frame. Remember that progress takes time and for most personal goals, the desired results will not happen overnight..
Don't forget to break up big goals into smaller steps so that you feel more capable of achieving them. For example, instead of setting a goal of running a marathon this year, work your way up to that goal by making running five kilometers your first goal
Step 5. Document your progress
Seeing physical evidence of your accomplishments is very important. Having visual evidence of your own progress will make you feel better and will continue to encourage you to keep working hard to achieve your goals.
For example, you can graph your weight loss in a journal, record when you pay off your credit card bill, or record the progress of your savings balance. Every little bit is important and documenting your progress will help you see how far you've come
Method 2 of 3: Changing Your Attitude
Step 1. Choose optimism
To overcome discouragement, you must choose optimism and a positive attitude. While this may feel forced or as if you "fake" at first, in the end your efforts will pay off. Instead of thinking that you will fail at achieving your goals before you even start, believe that you can achieve them if taking it slowly and working hard will help you achieve your goals.
For example, it might feel too heavy if you have to lose up to 25 kg. However, if you reframe your weight loss goals in a positive light and imagine that you only need to lose 10 pounds 10 times, that goal will seem easier to achieve. Optimism and positive thinking are the keys to mentally framing your goals and then achieving them
Step 2. Let go of anger
Anger over past mistakes or injustices will discourage you and make you feel incompetent. Acknowledge your anger and remember that while it's okay to feel angry, it doesn't do you any good. Forget anger and focus on your goals.
- Anger is often a manifestation of other emotions such as frustration, insecurity, injustice, or feeling hurt. Try to channel your anger constructively. Healthy ways to control anger, for example, include deep breathing and taking time to rest.
- Calming distractions such as reading and journaling are also helpful outlets for venting frustration.
Step 3. Let go of fear
Fear, like anger, is an emotion that destroys enthusiasm and happiness. If you live in fear of failure or never achieving important goals, it can feel as if your fear is paralyzing you. Incorporating techniques to relieve anxiety is the key to leaving your fears behind and avoiding feelings of discouragement and fear. It is important that you overcome your fears so that you can deal with anxiety appropriately.
For example, if you have to take air transportation to get to work and you are afraid of flying, this could ruin your plans to get a good evaluation result at work. Using exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy helps calm your fears and reduce your sensitivity to intimidating experiences. Use cognitive behavioral theory to help you face fear and anxiety head-on
Step 4. Avoid comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to friends, family or colleagues breeds anxiety and discouragement. You don't know the hardship and discouragement they went through to achieve what they have now. You can only do your best, so focus within yourself on what you can do to achieve your goals. Avoid comparing yourself to others on a superficial level which will only discourage you and distract you from achieving your goals.
Method 3 of 3: Practicing a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Include exercise in your daily schedule
Exercise fights depression and improves mood. If you're feeling down or discouraged, try to spend at least 20 minutes a day exercising.
Step 2. Find a mentor
If you feel discouraged at work, seek guidance from a more senior colleague. Your mentor should be someone who has a positive attitude and is willing to work with you. Don't try to force yourself into a mentor relationship. Be sure to find a mentor that you think can work well with you.
For example, if you are a new teacher and feeling overwhelmed, ask a friendly coworker how he or she dealt with the stress and despair of just starting out. The wisdom and experience of the colleague will help in addition to letting you know that you are not alone in how you feel
Step 3. Write a journal every day
Documenting your goals, failures and feelings will help you realize how you are progressing. Being aware of how you feel and how certain situations affect you is key to achieving balance and avoiding discouragement.
- For example, has a failure at work left you particularly discouraged this week? Did you do well on the exam you studied so hard? Record good and bad feelings and experiences in your journal.
- A gratitude journal is an excellent way to prevent discouragement. Start writing a gratitude journal and try to write each day about something that went well for you or you are grateful for.
- You can download the gratitude journal and journal app on your phone, tablet or computer if you prefer. If not, an ordinary notebook can also be used.
Step 4. Reward yourself for your achievements
When you work hard at something and achieve a goal, celebrate the success! Go for a delicious meal, have a pedicure, or simply plan some time alone for yourself to relax at home. No matter how small the goal, if you set a goal and succeed in achieving it, it's important that you reward yourself.
Step 5. Hang out with like-minded friends
If you're trying to change your outlook from depression and discouragement, you need to surround yourself with people who exude a positive and uplifting aura. Spend time with friends who support you and don't doubt you for trying to change views or achieve goals. Especially avoid people who underestimate your goals and try to drag you down.
Step 6. Talk to a therapist
Despite our best efforts, sometimes getting help from a mental health professional is necessary to help us overcome feelings of discouragement and sadness. Therapists are trained to help you identify the things that trigger your stress and can be invaluable for dealing with discouragement.
