There are people who often find it difficult to believe in themselves, especially if they feel they can't give or don't deserve something. However, you are truly worthy and capable. If you can't see all the good in yourself, there are some easy ways you can build confidence in yourself. Start by appreciating your achievements so far and setting new goals. After that, try to make new friends and take advantage of opportunities to empower your skills. And to be even more sure, you also have to take good care of yourself. This article will explain these ways to make you feel more confident in yourself.
Method 1 of 3: Developing a Positive Perspective
Step 1. Make a list of all the achievements you have achieved so far
Start cultivating confidence in yourself by writing down your accomplishments. Take the time to record all the things you have done well at a certain point in your life. Also include things that don't seem very important, such as being able to assemble the furniture you bought at IKEA or having a successful party for your friends or family members.
- Try to find patterns from the various activities that you have noted earlier. Get to know what you've done time and time again to find out what skills you're good at.
- Once you've identified the skills you've used to get things done, start writing them down in a new column. In addition, you can also note the things that you admire about yourself by making the 3rd column.
- For example, if you have always been able to take good care of your dog or cat, this means that you are naturally a loving person. Therefore, try to find other activities to make your skills even more useful, for example by volunteering at an animal shelter.
Step 2. Ask your loved ones for their opinion
Sometimes we can't see the good in ourselves, but the people who love us are usually very easy to see. If you still can't find the good side of yourself, ask someone who loves you for the opinion.
You might say, “Lately, I feel like I can't do anything very well, but I'm working on it and figuring out what my skills are. What do you think is good about me?”
Step 3. Find a reason you can believe in
You won't be able to feel confident in yourself if you always want to please other people. Try to find reasons and goals that are important to you and truly believe in. This passion for reason and purpose will drive you to work hard and find out how far you can go.
Step 4. Set realistic goals
Having realistic goals will foster confidence in yourself and in your ability to achieve your goals. So, set goals that you can achieve according to your skills. For example, if your long-term goal is to become a veterinarian assistant because you can take good care of animals, start setting small goals that you can achieve by applying for a job as a vet assistant. Once this goal is achieved, proceed to determine the next goal that can support the achievement of your long-term goals.
- Be prepared to leave your comfort zone. Even if you've set realistic goals, you may have to do things you're not used to doing to achieve them.
- Once you've set a goal, work hard until you reach it. Don't abandon your goal just because it's too difficult. If you're having trouble, try breaking it down into smaller goals and focusing on achieving them one at a time.
Step 5. Reflect at night
Reflection is an important way of self-development. By reflecting, it will be easier for you to know what you have done well and what still needs to be improved. Try to take time to reflect on what you've done throughout the day. If there are things that you can't do the way you want, try to find out what caused this problem so that this problem doesn't happen again in the future.
For example, if you're still having a hard time getting up in the morning to walk as planned, learn to recognize the problem that you're having a hard time getting motivated in the morning. It can be helpful to set multiple timers and place them some distance from the bed so you have to get up immediately to turn them off. Or, try to find another time to walk so you don't have to do it in the morning
Step 6. Be persistent
Sometimes, we give up easily thinking we might fail, but it's perfectly natural that at first you face these kinds of problems. Just go through this process first without worrying too much about the consequences and don't blame yourself if you make a mistake. Several successful innovators have proven that in order to improvise, we must have a moderate mindset played, instead of fixating on certain irreversible goals.
Method 2 of 3: Forming Good Habits
Step 1. Build relationships with other people
There are several new views in neuroscience that emphasize the importance of strengthening and improving relationships with other people on a persistent basis to support the brain's working processes to keep them functioning properly. Therefore, our habits may not be able to be changed without knowing in advance the extent to which our behavior is shaped or influenced in some way by others around us.
If other people are always coming to you for advice, but you don't seem to have anyone to talk to if you're having a problem, you may have taken on the role of a caregiver in your group. There's nothing wrong with helping others, but you also have to take care of yourself. In fact, we sometimes help others more than we help ourselves because we are used to it. Think about why you would prefer to help other people and what this would mean for you
Step 2. Brace yourself
Try to think positively about yourself and your behavior. Beat the urge to be negative by recognizing your two strengths every day.
- Try to beat unproductive thoughts. Stop thinking negative thoughts and challenge negative thoughts, for example when you say to yourself "I'm a loser", "No one likes me", or "I can't do anything right". Counter negative thoughts with productive thoughts by trying to identify two positive things about yourself. This method will become easier to do if you continue to practice positive thinking.
- For example, if you have a negative thought that says, “I'm really stupid at math”, turn this thought into a more productive one by saying, “Math is quite challenging for me, but I will study harder to get better grades.”
Step 3. Find ways to continue to develop yourself
At times, you may feel trapped in a routine and don't know how to break free. In this situation, try to calm yourself down by taking deep breaths and trying to understand what you are going through. Many people are more focused on the negative things so they ignore the positive things in their lives. Sometimes, what we really need is just a change of atmosphere or maybe an interlude in between daily routines.
- If you have a persistent fear or breakup, it's a good idea to consult a therapist or mental health counselor.
- Look for ways to change your routine or behavior. For example, if you have a lot of negative people around you, try joining a sports club or other group so you can make friends with people you just met.
Step 4. Be proactive
The habit of procrastinating or procrastinating work because it feels difficult will lead you to failure. If the time to complete the task is running out, you will rush and end up making mistakes. Instead, try to do the task while you still have plenty of time to get the best results! The small successes that you feel because you've done a good job will give you confidence that you can do bigger tasks better.
- For example, you have a pile of dishes that need to be washed immediately, but you put it off because you want to watch your favorite TV show. Unbeknownst to you, other unavoidable issues arise, for example your TV is broken and needs to be repaired or there's a problem with the bill you just received that forces you to put off washing the dishes even longer.
- Instead of letting everyday things pile up, get them done as soon as you can remember. It may not be fun at first, but with time, it will become a habit and your daily business will seem to be going away on its own.
- If you have a severe habit of procrastinating, try consulting a therapist or mental health counselor. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you overcome the habit of procrastinating.
Step 5. Focus your attention on the positive
Psychologists have proven that we often focus on negative comments about ourselves and ignore positive ones. We also tend to overdo it in assuming that people are watching us. Remind yourself to focus more on the positives than the negatives. If you or others around you are extremely critical, try to find ways to make a difference.
Step 6. Do the hard stuff
If we always choose the easy way, maybe we will feel unable to do the difficult things. Prove to yourself that you are ready to take on a challenge, by challenging yourself. Do useful things, even if you have to work harder. You can do it! Don't forget, you can divide difficult tasks into smaller ones that are easier to complete.
Step 7. State your stand for yourself
The next time you have an opinion on what is going on or you want to do something in a better way, just say so! You don't have to take things for granted. By taking an active role, you show others that you are in control and reveal to them what you need or want. In addition, by stating your position, you will also be surrounded by people who share the same aspirations and concerns. Here are some things you should do to feel more comfortable with your surroundings. This has been proven through research that states this method is an important step to develop confidence in your abilities by acting according to your needs and desires.
- For example, if you have a coworker who often uses women as inappropriate jokes, try to find a way to express your opinion on his jokes to make him more positive. You could say, "I'm offended that your joke underestimates a very important matter." This discussion may get heated, but the more you practice expressing your opinion on important issues, such as on gender differences, the easier it will be for you to deal with them.
- If you tend to worry about how other people interpret what you're trying to say, so you don't take your stand, try breaking this habit. Get in the habit of expressing your thoughts and feelings to others without worrying about how they will interpret them, even if this means you may have to deal with misunderstandings when communicating with others.
- If misunderstandings arise, don't be afraid to share your background, especially about how you learned to communicate with others where you came from. Everyone involved in a communication should be able to understand that a misunderstanding does not mean someone is wrong, but it can be an opportunity to develop themselves and get to know each person's unique way of expressing his or her opinion.
Step 8. Help others
By helping others, we usually understand what we are capable of and feel better about ourselves. Volunteering or getting into the habit of doing good to help others will make you feel very happy. In addition, helping others can also be an opportunity to use and develop skills so that you feel more confident again.
Method 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Pay attention to your appearance and grooming
It's easier to build confidence in yourself if you believe in your appearance. Make sure you can look good and feel your best because you regularly take care of personal hygiene and dress up every day to maintain your appearance by: Make sure that you:
- shower every day twice a day
- straighten hair
- cutting or grooming nails
- shave or keep your mustache and beard tidy (for men)
- brush your teeth twice a day
- keep your body smelling good by wearing deodorant, perfume, or perfume
- wear clothes that fit your body size and make you feel comfortable
- applying makeup to highlight your beauty (for women)
Step 2. Keep your body healthy by eating healthy foods
The food you eat every day will affect how you feel physically and emotionally. If you can take the time to prepare the food you love yourself, you'll feel better than if you just had dinner with a bag of fries and a fizzy drink. Try to eat healthy foods so that you are always healthy and feel happy.
Step 3. Exercise every day
Exercise has been shown to reduce stress and provide a sense of happiness. Several studies have also proven that exercise can also improve self-confidence. Try to exercise regularly for at least 30 minutes every day so that you can stay physically and mentally healthy.
Step 4. Get enough sleep
Lack of sleep can interfere with self-awareness and cause negative emotions. Therefore, you should get enough sleep every night. Self-conscious feelings and negative thoughts will make it even more difficult to believe in yourself. Try to get enough sleep for about 8 hours every night to avoid these negative effects.
Step 5. Relax every day
Take some time to relax each day. You can try various relaxation methods, such as meditating, practicing yoga, deep breathing, using aromatherapy, and other self-soothing techniques to get rid of negative thoughts and feel more confident in yourself. Find the way that works best for you and do it every day.
Step 6. Create a pleasant environment
Your environment can also affect how you see yourself. So, try to keep your home neat and comfortable. Keep your home (or at least your room, if someone else lives in the house) clean and pleasant. Put things that have their own meaning to make you feel more excited.
If you're constantly having self-esteem issues, despite your efforts to improve, it's a good idea to consult a mental health professional. Maybe you need help from someone else
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