The ability to be diplomatic plays an important role in everyday life, for example for managers who want to improve the work atmosphere to make it more conducive or people who want to improve conflict resolution skills. Being diplomatic means considering carefully before speaking or acting in order to make the most appropriate decision. However, this is not easy to do in certain situations. In order to be diplomatic, be a calm person with the ability to act tactically, solve problems, and establish good relationships with others.
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Method 1 of 3: Communicating Effectively
Step 1. Choose words wisely
Even if you mean well, remember that what you say can hurt other people's feelings. Before discussing a sensitive topic, ask yourself if you are going to say something true, helpful, and kind. Use the words "I" or "I" to describe your thoughts, instead of guessing what the other person is thinking or feeling.
- For example: you might say, "I don't agree with the decision made at today's meeting," instead of saying, "You'll regret making the wrong decision."
- Make a statement based on your own point of view and perspective.
- Don't attack or blame others.
- If you want to discuss something serious with someone, prepare in advance what you want to say.
Step 2. Adjust the style of speech to the situation at hand
Before sending a message, find out who will hear you speak so they can receive and understand your message as best they can. Consider whether you should email, communicate verbally, discuss in groups, or speak one-on-one.
- For example: You want to communicate a cost-saving plan to staff. You've used email to convey sensitive information, but it was confusing. Therefore, hold a meeting with the staff to explain the actual situation and provide an opportunity to ask questions.
- Schedule meetings to talk to staff individually if needed or requested by staff.
Step 3. Be open to new ideas
Instead of making decisions based solely on your own judgment, listen to the opinions of others first. Thank them for telling them what they wanted to make them feel comfortable and keep doing this. Take time to consider other people's opinions, but stand your ground when you've made the best decision.
For example: "Thank you Hansen for your concern. I will consider your advice on how to stay healthy and seek more information on this."
Step 4. Be assertive and use body language when communicating
Show confidence when talking to other people, instead of being aggressive. Speak calmly and politely while making eye contact. Don't cross your arms and legs while sitting chatting.
If there's something you don't understand, admit it honestly, for example by saying, "I don't understand that and don't know the answer yet, but I'll learn more about it."
Step 5. Use indirect speech
Instead of expressing your thoughts and feelings as they are, use a more subtle way. Giving advice is better than telling someone else to do something. Diplomatic figures do not give orders, but try to provide inspiration to motivate others. Your goal is to build teamwork and keep them motivated to achieve their best.
- For example: if you want to reconcile children who are fighting, tell them, "You'd better think of a way to share a bedroom to keep things together."
- If you want to motivate a subordinate who is often late, tell him, "To avoid being late again, try to get to work earlier." Make sure you know why so you can give the most appropriate advice.
Step 6. Watch your behavior
One of the important aspects of being diplomatic is to behave well. When communicating with someone, wait for your turn to speak and don't interrupt. Speak with words of encouragement and never insult others. Keep the intonation of the voice natural and neutral. Do not berate or yell at others.
Step 7. Control your emotions
Remember that you need to be diplomatic when interacting with anyone, including people who are unpleasant and who behave in an offensive manner. If you are experiencing stress while interacting with someone, try to calm yourself down by taking deep breaths. Go to the restroom to be alone if you feel like crying or getting angry.
- Practice meditation to control your emotions using guides that can be downloaded for free over the internet.
- In addition, you can calm yourself down for a moment by focusing your attention, for example by observing how you feel when your feet touch the floor or when your buttocks touch a chair.
Method 2 of 3: Coping With Difficult Situations
Step 1. Determine the right time to have a conversation
If you want to have a serious conversation with someone, talk to them when both of you are calm so the conversation can run smoothly.
Step 2. Leave positive comments before breaking bad news
If you have to convey unpleasant information, open the conversation by providing positive information or feedback so that the atmosphere feels more comfortable. This will make the other person feel more at ease and trust you.
- If you can't attend a friend's wedding invitation, instead of simply saying "no," send a card saying: "Congratulations on your wedding plans next week! You must have had a great wedding! I'm sorry I couldn't come, but I always wish you the best for you. I have prepared a present for you."
- Use the same tips before giving constructive criticism.
Step 3. Focus on facts when discussing issues
Gather facts before discussing important issues. Instead of relying on emotions or opinions, have a conversation using logic based on facts. During the conversation, don't blame the other person, don't get offended easily, and don't get defensive.
For example: if there is a corporate restructuring at work, don't go to your boss to say, "I reject this change." Instead, approach your boss by explaining, "During the last quarter, our department managed to increase sales by 100%. Reductions in employees will have a very bad impact on the company's ability to make a profit."
Step 4. Think of ways to compromise with the other person
Determine what you want and ask him what he wants and then determine the most appropriate way to make it happen.
For example: your spouse wants to move house so that the children can get a better education. You do not agree because the current location of the house is close to the office. As a solution, provide opportunities for children to take courses after school or find a house that is not too far from work
Step 5. Explain what you like and what you don't like in order to reach an agreement
Negotiate after both parties explain their respective desires. Being diplomatic sometimes means giving up on getting what you want. Do it this way so that both of you can compromise and progress.
For example: You want to share an assignment with a roommate. You're willing to do the dishes, but don't like doing chores around the house. Your friend may be the opposite. So suggest that you do the dishes and have him sweep the yard
Step 6. Be calm when you receive bad news
When you hear the news of being fired or your spouse asking for a divorce, a diplomatic person doesn't throw a tantrum, insult, or cry. He will remain calm and mature. If you receive bad news, take a few deep breaths. Give a positive reaction and then find a place to be alone so you can control your emotions.
- For example: say to your boss, "I am very disappointed to hear of this decision. I want to know what was the reason and is this decision final?"
- Don't ignore the emotions you feel or seek escapism by taking drugs and alcohol. Instead, share your problem with a friend, do a fun activity, or do some exercise. If you are experiencing stress, consult a therapist or counselor.
Step 7. Speak nice things about other people
When other people spread gossip, don't put gasoline on the fire so the gossip will spread. Avoid negative environments full of gossip. Show good character and integrity by not gossiping.
Step 8. Be honest and be yourself
One of the most important aspects of being able to be diplomatic is being yourself. When having a conversation, you must have the courage to tell the other person the truth. Otherwise, you will not be able to make your wishes come true and be in a genuine relationship.
For example: if you make a mistake that has a negative impact on the work team, don't blame someone else. Admit your mistake by saying, "I put the wrong data in my report so a lot of calls came in today. I'm sorry and will fix it soon. I'm ready to answer questions and help if needed."
Step 9. Stay calm during the conversation
Don't make decisions that trigger problems. It's a good idea to be alone for a while so you don't make a decision that you'll eventually regret.
For example: a staff member at work asks you to give him permission to work from home one day a week. Before rejecting him, first consider what he needs and why. Try to make the best deal possible and offer equal opportunities to the rest of the staff
Method 3 of 3: Establishing Relationships with Others
Step 1. Get used to greeting other people so that the atmosphere feels more comfortable
One of the most important aspects of being able to be diplomatic is helping the other person to feel comfortable when meeting you. Instead of immediately talking about serious things, start by getting to know each other, for example by telling each other about weekend activities, partners, children, or hobbies. Discuss the latest news or favorite TV shows. Show interest in what he is telling you so that he feels more comfortable interacting with you.
Tell humorous stories if possible
Step 2. Use the same body language
Show empathy by imitating their body language and posture. If he sits with his chin on his back, do the same. This way shows that you want to be involved in the conversation.
Don't forget to smile the first time you meet
Step 3. Say the name while chatting
People will usually give a positive response when his name is mentioned. So, say his name every now and then as you speak.
For example: ask the usual, "Where would you like to have lunch, Kayla?" or talk about something more serious, for example: "Andri, I'm sorry for your mother's passing."
Step 4. Be an attentive listener
When communicating verbally with someone, don't be busy fiddling with your phone or daydreaming. Instead, listen carefully to what he has to say so you can understand his perspective. Repeat what he said in his own words to prove that you are listening when he is talking.
For example: "Taking care of a mother and young child sounds a lot healthier for you."
Step 5. Ask questions
Show that you are listening by trying to understand what he is saying. Ask open-ended questions that require thought, rather than just "yes/no" answers.
