When you find out that you're being gossiped about, your first reaction is usually surprise. Next, you may be wondering what the reason is because the source of the rumors is not clear. However, the situation gets worse if you try to find the gossiper to confront. Instead of feeling annoyed, the best thing you need to do is to ignore it. Also, deal with this problem by engaging in useful activities and changing perspectives on gossiping.
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Gossipers
Step 1. Don't react at all
Even if you want to meet the gossiper and throw a tantrum or ask for clarification, ignoring the gossip may be the best reaction. For that, tell yourself: he doesn't care about me by gossiping about me. So, I also don't care about him by ignoring his actions. Stop the domino effect of other people's negative behavior by ignoring them.
Many people gossip to seek attention or to get a response. If you ignore the gossiper, he will get bored and stop gossiping about you
Step 2. Be nice to him
Another way to deal with gossipers is to treat them well. Your attitude confuses him because you are still nice to him even though he has badmouthed you. Plus, you'll make him feel guilty for spreading the word if you're friendly and polite when you meet him.
- Give her a genuine compliment, for example, "Wow, this flyer is great, Ros! It's an interesting design."
- Speak in a sincere tone, especially when giving compliments. Don't get the impression of being sarcastic or pretending because this method doesn't solve the problem.
- If he has nothing to praise, help him do something, like open the door or help him carry heavy items.
Step 3. Apply restrictions when interacting with it
If you go about your daily activities with the gossiper, keep your distance from them. You don't have to be good friends with him just because the two of you see each other often.
- Be friendly, but you don't need to be close friends. Don't share personal things with him so he doesn't use them to continue gossiping.
- For gossipers, chatting isn't the only way to get personal information. If you're worried that he's gossiping, don't give him personal information, such as your social media account usernames.
Step 4. Find out the motives of the person giving you the information
If you hear gossip from a good friend or acquaintance, make sure he or she is doing it for your own good. Good friends usually don't want to spread negative things about you and hurt you. If he shares in the gossip, find out why he told you and how he reacted when he heard gossip about you.
- For example, ask the question, "Who do you know about this?" or "What do you say when people gossip about me?" To find out the motive, ask, "Why did you tell me about this gossip?"
- You don't have to cut ties with the informant, but pay close attention to their movements. Maybe he just seems innocent, even though he's helping to spread the gossip instead of stopping it.
- Let him know that you'd prefer to be told in person if someone objected to your attitude or actions, rather than being gossiped about. For example, you could tell him, "If anyone is gossiping about me again, please let him know so he can talk to me directly."
Step 5. Don't join in the gossip
If you've been gossiped about, you know what it's like to be the victim of gossip. However, you don't solve the problem if you join in the gossip. There are people who like to talk about other people's private matters, but they can do it if they have someone to talk to.
- If someone invites you to gossip, tell them, "I think you're starting to gossip. It's better to talk about something else than talk about people, but that's not necessarily true."
- If you gossip about other people, you will not be taken seriously when asking others not to gossip about you.
Step 6. Share your problem with someone in authority
If you're having trouble working or studying because you're the victim of gossip, it's a good idea to tell the person in charge of the decision. A teacher, principal, or supervisor can help you resolve the issue.
- For example, say to your teacher or boss, "I'm having a problem with a classmate/coworker so I can't study/work quietly because he gossips about me. Please help me to reprimand him".
- If he is known as a gossip or a bully, maybe the teacher/superior will punish him.
Method 2 of 3: Living Everyday While Confronting Gossip
Step 1. Do an activity to distract yourself
Focusing on your studies or work can be difficult when you are a victim of gossip. Instead of constantly thinking about negative things, channel your energy by doing useful activities to relieve the burden of the mind, for example by:
Tidy up your desk, walk around the house, chat with friends, or complete assignments
Step 2. Interact with positive people
Maybe you feel left out because of gossip. One solution is to hang out with people who make you feel valued. In addition to making you feel happier and more confident, you can forget about any gossip or rumors circulating when you interact with them.
Call a good friend to ask him to have some fun. Enjoy the company of your partner or family members
Step 3. Remind yourself how great you are
Maybe you doubt your strengths and skills because of gossip. Don't give in to self-critical mental dialogue. Take time to remember and record the virtues that make you a great person.
- Write down all the positive aspects of your personality, your strengths, and the qualities that make others admire you, for example, "a good listener," "capable of empathy," or "creative."
- Compliment yourself at least 1 compliment every day, for example you have beautiful eye color or little things you've been neglecting!
Step 4. Do a fun activity
Positive actions will trigger positive thoughts and feelings. When you're feeling down because of the gossip, be kind to yourself like you would a friend. Take time each day to enjoy the good times, for example by:
- Caring for pets.
- Listen to your favorite song or sing while bathing in the shower.
- Write articles or draw.
- Pamper yourself once a week in a special way, such as getting a manicure, going to the mall, watching a movie, or enjoying your favorite ice cream.
Method 3 of 3: Understanding Gossip from a Different Perspective
Step 1. Don't be offended
Deal with the gossiper by reminding yourself that what he's saying reflects on him, not you. You can't control what other people think of you, but you can choose how you react to it. Think of gossip as something he should do for his own sake. Don't be a victim of other people's problems.
For example, a person gossips because he feels inferior and tries to make himself look great by badmouthing other people
Step 2. Consider the possibility that he gossips because he is jealous of you
People who badmouth you don't seem to be jealous, but this is often because you have strengths that make them unhappy. Maybe your looks, skills, or popularity make him envious. Negative remarks that he throws can be a means of hurting your heart.
If someone seems to be jealous of you, be nice to them so they can smother their enthusiasm for gossiping
Step 3. Consider the possibility that he gossips because he feels inferior
This can be a reason for someone to gossip because talking badly about other people makes them feel great. People who gossip are usually self-deprecating or incapable of self-respect, so they speak ill of others.