Understanding yourself is the first step to developing your personality. Start by observing your traits and focus on those that help you become more confident, open, resilient, and humble. On the other hand, determine the properties that need to be improved or avoided. However, everyone has a unique personality and there is no particular way to develop a good or attractive personality. By understanding yourself better, you are able to become a person who has a positive nature.
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Method 1 of 4: Self-Evaluating
Step 1. Write down 5 traits that reflect on yourself
Make a list by writing at least 5 traits that you have and explain why these traits are aspects of your personality.
- Write down at least 1 positive trait.
- Additionally, write down 1 negative trait that needs to be changed.
- Don't include aspects of your physical appearance to define who you are. Focus only on your personality.
Step 2. Evaluate positive and negative traits
When creating your list, determine whether you are more focused on the positive or the negative? For example, did you write down 4 negative traits and only 1 positive trait?
- If you focus on negative traits, you may feel low self-esteem or lack self-confidence. To work around this, read this wikiHow article that explains how to develop self-respect.
- If you list only one negative trait, you are a confident person, but still need to find out if there are any traits that need improvement. Do an honest self-evaluation and be a humble person.
Step 3. Decide on an activity that you enjoy
If you don't know how to develop your personality yet, think about fun things. Ask yourself: what activities do you enjoy doing? do you prefer to work with other people or alone? Do you like repairing or creating? do you prefer art or science?
- These questions are useful to give you an idea of the things you like and your personality. So, there is no right or wrong answer.
- Some people prefer to work alone or with several people, but there are also those who like to attend parties and hang out with many people.
- Whatever the activity, make sure you are able to appreciate and interact with other people. Good communication skills with other people can reveal the best aspects of your personality.
Step 4. Determine the properties that need to be improved
Ask yourself do you need to change to have a better personality? Broadening your horizons is an important step for change. Think about the traits that need to be improved when you:
- Anxious, angry, or worried
- Embarrassed, scared, or nervous
- Lonely, sad, or depressed
- Stubborn, annoyed, or frustrated
- Worried
- Being arrogant
Method 2 of 4: Focusing on Positive Traits
Step 1. Cultivate self-confidence
People who believe in themselves and others tend to feel happier because self-confidence is the aspect of personality that makes a person appear more attractive. On the other hand, the self-confidence shown by being arrogant makes others feel uncomfortable.
- Learn different ways to build confidence and appear confident.
- Use body language that expresses that you're not afraid to interact with other people, for example by making eye contact, smiling, and showing interest in what the other person says and does.
- Build self-confidence by focusing on the positives and successes you've had. Bring up memories of events that happened recently because you worked hard, did something well, or were able to overcome a problem. Recall the event, instead of remembering the bad incident.
Step 2. Get ready for new experiences
Performing routine daily activities may make you feel comfortable. Even so, it's a good idea to be adventurous and start a different activity. At first, you may feel embarrassed or doubt whether you can do it, but in reality, things are not as bad as you think. For others, a person who is open to new things seems more flexible, fun, and interesting.
- If you're not ready to do something new on your own, join a team, form a group with friends, or have a family member accompany you.
- Don't go on a new adventure that puts you or others in danger. Choose a new activity so that you are forced to leave your comfort zone.
- For example, say you love to paint, but have never taken a painting course because you doubt your abilities. This is why you need to take the course; to improve, shape, and develop a new paradigm.
Step 3. Be friendly and fun
It's not easy being a nice person all the time, but other people will be nice and ready to help if you're always kind and friendly. Show that you want to get to know them, want to be a good listener, and are able to understand other people's perspectives.
- Show empathy when other people talk or complain. Imagine what they went through and felt. Listen carefully without interrupting. Turn off electronic devices and other devices so that your attention is completely focused on the person who needs help.
- Even if other people treat you badly, be nice and polite to them. Be aware of your limitations and don't fight if other people have different opinions.
Step 4. Show respect and be humble
You don't have to be like everyone else in everything, including your perspective. You are able to determine the best for yourself. If other people are proud of their success, stay humble, instead of envious. Show respect for others because everyone has the right to make their own decisions.
- Demonstrate self-control.
- Forgive yourself and others. Let go of what has happened. Don't keep regretting the mistakes you've made. Instead, think of the best solution that supports the achievement of the goal. Use affirmations by saying: "I am free from the past so I can reach my goals with a clean heart" or "I will continue to forgive myself until I fully recover."
- Be a person who always wants to give, instead of receive.
Step 5. Be a tough person who "resilient"
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after a bad event. This is the belief that makes you never give up and keep fighting. This trait is needed, especially when facing difficulties.
- Try to be a strong person in everyday life. Show your stand if you are being bullied, harassed, or hated. If someone experiences such treatment, have the courage to defend them. In this way, you put the interests of others above your own.
- Be a tough person by not blaming yourself. Believe that you are able to improve yourself and become a better person. Pay attention to physical, mental, and mental conditions by applying various ways of being positive and maintaining health.
- Don't despair or regret the situation. Believe that you are able to contribute and bring about change even by doing small things.
Method 3 of 4: Eliminating Negative Traits
Step 1. Get rid of stubbornness and stubbornness
To be stubborn means to demand that others follow your ways or do what you want. Stubborn people always think right and wrong and deal with situations that happen or should happen without considering various aspects thoroughly.
- Imagine that you are in a situation that is confusing, unclear, and difficult to understand. This is a natural thing.
- Think of another way to understand the problem or person. Don't assume that everyone has the same paradigm as you.
Step 2. Learn to be patient, instead of being grumpy
Everyone can be angry and anxious. At times, you may find it difficult to control yourself or feel helpless when you are overwhelmed by emotions. So, learn how to calm down and be patient by reading this wikiHow article.
- Try to control your anger.
- Find out why you are frustrated and then work on it.
- Instead of thinking about things that trigger anxiety and anger, calm yourself by breathing deeply while imagining you are in a quiet and comfortable place.
Step 3. Strive to help others more
Do you dislike giving help to others or do you tend to put your own interests ahead of helping others for various reasons? Get rid of the habit of behaving selfishly and try to help others in various ways.
- Do things you would normally avoid or complain about. Help others who need help.
- Prioritize helping those closest to you, family members, relatives, neighbors, classmates, or coworkers.
- Get out of your comfort zone by volunteering to help others and donate to the community.
Step 4. Share your opinion more often
Learn to make a stand for yourself and others. Overcoming shyness is not easy and takes a lot of practice. Learn to say what you want to say without fear of being rejected or judged. Your ability will get better if you often give opinions.
- Take an audience speaking course. In addition, you can learn to speak in front of an audience by attending a Toastmasters meeting via the website
- If you're still in school, learn how to speak in front of an audience by taking debating techniques or other activities at school.
- Improve communication skills by inviting friends to chat when meeting at school/office activities, socializing, and studying/working in teams.
Step 5. Don't compare yourself to others
Everyone wants to have what they don't have. When you see someone happier, smarter, and cooler, you want to experience the same. If you're always gloomy because you expect something you don't have, you're missing out on the opportunity to appreciate what you do have.
- Be grateful for what you have, instead of wanting something better. Think of at least 3 things every day that make your life worth being grateful for.
- Appreciate everything you have, instead of getting busy healing hurt feelings.
Method 4 of 4: Trusting Yourself
Step 1. Remember that everyone is unique
Don't pretend to be someone else. Develop the personality that works best for you so that you can act as you are. Your unique personality is the aspect that makes you attractive.
- Don't think of personality as static. Personality can change over time. You may become more confident, open-minded, or become more stubborn as you get older.
- Personality is your unique property and can always be adjusted, changed, or maintained, no matter what your personality is.
Step 2. Feel inner happiness
After all, personality is correlated with happiness. If you want to know how to change your personality to be happier and healthier, start by experiencing inner happiness. Ask yourself what makes you feel peaceful, calm, relaxed, and comfortable.
- Learn how to feel inner happiness by reading this wikiHow.
- Set aside time for yourself while enjoying a relaxing activity, such as meditating, listening to music, or taking a leisurely walk in the park.
Step 3. Learn to love yourself
Remember that the ability to understand yourself and develop a unique personality must begin and end with self-love. You will trust yourself because you feel valuable and able to appreciate what is given to others.
- Get rid of the habit of self-criticism and negative thoughts. If someone insults you, don't mold yourself according to what they say. You have the right to determine your own identity.
- Get in the habit of interacting with people who help you build positive traits. Find people who will accept you for who you are and make you feel loved. Tell them your problem.
- Be kind to yourself at all times.
