A person suffering from narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often appears to be a charismatic and friendly person with high self-esteem. However, when that captivating personality disappeared, all that was left was someone who was selfish. It's very difficult to be around this kind of person. Narcissism is one of the most difficult disorders for psychologists to successfully treat. If someone with narcissism is a family member, your boss at work, or someone you care deeply about, you should know how to get close to them. You can adjust to allow yourself to be around or even live with someone who has narcissism, but it won't be easy.
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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with a Narcissist
Step 1. Determine first if he is worth approaching
This kind of person is not interested in listening to you and hardly cares about your needs. A person with narcissism thinks he knows everything. Therefore, according to him, his decision is the most reasonable. He will expect you to always agree with him. If you are in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, there is a high chance that there will be a fight over who has more authority and who has more power in your relationship.
- This kind of person seems emotionally disinterested in the relationship he is in and will get angry at any criticism. He may have ended a relationship before just because of trivial things. If you are determined to maintain a relationship, how can you survive and not get hurt?
- Decide if you can't or won't leave the person. If he's a new acquaintance, it's probably best if you leave him.
Step 2. Avoid confrontation
You won't be able to convince someone with narcissism that he or she is guilty. Carefully select the things that are important to discuss, and don't waste your time and energy discussing issues that concern the person's behavior because they are unlikely to change.
- If your partner monopolizes the conversation during family gatherings and embarrass you for telling nonsense, don't take it to heart. Take precautions at the next family gathering, perhaps by giving him a seat next to a quieter family member who enjoys hearing other people's embarrassing stories.
- If the problem in your relationship is related to a decision you've made, like you don't want him to drive with you because he's been drinking at a party, just keep it simple and straightforward. Feel free to leave it without giving any explanation regarding your decision. That's the behavior of people who suffer from narcissism. So he will understand that, and even accept it better, than if you try to touch his heart.
Step 3. Build meaningful interactions
People who suffer from narcissism enjoy achieving something and brag about it. Set goals that meet your needs that can also be a source of pride for that person.
If you believe your narcissistic husband won't clean your patio and backyard, suggest hosting a barbecue. People who suffer from narcissism see themselves as social leaders. So, an event such as a barbecue gave him the attention he craved. Ask her opinion on what to do, then offer to help like cleaning the inside of the house and preparing drinks. Make him feel proud of his strength by asking him to clean the outside of the house. Ironically, you may be able to get more than you expected if you propose to him to work on an outdoor project such as building a pond, flower garden, or fountain. This will allow him to brag during the party
Step 4. Know what the person thinks is important
Remember, someone with narcissism will likely not understand or appreciate your sentimental actions or statements. He or she will probably reject all of that in an attitude that you think is callous and offends you.
Instead, learn what the person thinks is important. Then give him a pragmatic gift of time or money that he can understand as a genuine expression of your affection
Step 5. Suggest him to go to therapy
The most effective way to directly address narcissism is through therapy. Psychotherapy can help someone with narcissism reshape the image of themselves in their eyes and their place in the world. After that, he could see more clearly his true abilities. This can help him accept himself and consider the opinions of others.
- However, because a person with narcissism tends to think of himself as blameless, he often doesn't realize he needs help or needs to change his behavior.
- Psychotherapy can help a person with narcissism relate to others better so that he or she can have happier personal and professional relationships.
- Convincing someone with narcissism to see a psychiatrist, join a therapy group, and keep trying until there is real change is very difficult. If a person with narcissism admits that he or she needs psychological help, it is usually related to depression or suicidal ideation. This kind of person is usually reluctant to discuss things that require him to change his behavior.
- There is no cure for narcissism. There are only medications to control the symptoms or side effects of narcissism such as depression.
Method 2 of 3: Knowing the Characteristics of a Person with Narcissism
Step 1. Study the person's childhood
Narcissism is usually experienced by men since adolescence or when they are growing up. Experts have yet to pinpoint the exact cause of narcissism, but one speculation is that there are several types of parenting:
- Very critical parenting style. This kind of parenting can cause children to thirst for praise as they grow up.
- Parenting that is too much praise. On the other hand, parenting that is too much praise can result in children feeling too perfect and entitled to many things because of that perfection.
- It seems that parenting that combines the two extreme elements of overly critical parenting and a lot of praise is more likely to result in a child developing narcissism.
Step 2. Notice if the person feels that everything he or she is doing must be right
A person with narcissism may initially appear to have high self-esteem and self-confidence, as well as unmatched abilities. Over time, you'll find that it really stems from her belief that everything she does is right and that her values are better than anyone else's.
Step 3. Notice if the person feels that he or she is the center of attention wherever he is
A person who suffers from narcissism will feel that he is the center of attention of everything that is happening around him and he will try to maintain that at all costs. This includes monopolizing the conversation.
Step 4. Pay attention to whether he gets angry easily or likes to insult and swear
When someone with narcissism doesn't receive the special treatment they feel they deserve, they are more likely to get angry and insult or swear.
Step 5. Notice if he is arrogant or conceited
A person with narcissism is often seen as arrogant, conceited, or selfish. This kind of person tends to look down on those below him (to which he is basically everyone), and is able to bring others down to lift himself up. He will manipulate others to get what he wants.
Step 6. Notice if the empathy is not great
Perhaps the biggest problem with being around a person with narcissism is that he or she cannot empathize with others and has no intention of learning how to empathize.
Step 7. Notice if his response to criticism is exaggerated
He will not try to meet the needs of others. In fact he might even get angry if someone told him something about him because he saw it as a criticism.
- In the past, experts used to think that people who suffer from narcissism exalt themselves because they actually feel their self-esteem is low. Today, experts believe that people with narcissism like to fantasize and really believe in their greatness. They feel they deserve everyone's praise, even if there is no evidence of achievement at all.
- Therefore, when receiving criticism, people with narcissism are very likely to overreact to it, or even become aggressive.
Step 8. Notice if he has unrealistic expectations
People who suffer from narcissism will have excessive beliefs in self-importance, greatness, achievement, and abilities, manipulative behavior that expects obedience, admiration, and praise from everyone, and obsessions with success, power, intelligence, beauty, or anything else. the perfect match, which is almost like a fairy tale.
He will demand to get or give anything of the best quality according to him
Step 9. Pay attention to the relationship the person has
Living or working with people with narcissism is difficult. People who suffer from narcissism tend to have problems with the people around them, whether they are loved ones, co-workers, or classmates.
If he notices any flaws, real or imagined, in his perfect world, depression is not uncommon. In some people, this can even lead to suicidal ideation
Step 10. Pay attention to whether he uses narcotics or drinks frequently
When life doesn't go the way he wants, a person with narcissism usually uses narcotics or drinks a lot. Pay close attention to how much and how often he drinks and whether he uses narcotics.
Method 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself and Others
Step 1. Seek emotional support from elsewhere
Just let go of your emotional needs will not be met that person. Find a friend or other confidant (such as a relative, counselor, or pastor) who can listen and understand your feelings when you need to vent your frustrations. Also build a network of friends who can fill the emotional void in your life.
- If your husband or wife is narcissistic, he may not be happy when you move up a position or rank in the office because it doesn't have a direct impact on him. He might even think of it as a negative thing because he wasn't the one being praised for his work this time. Be prepared to receive an unpleasant response from him.
- Post your happy feelings through words on social media or call some friends who will cheer you on accordingly.
Step 2. Learn about narcissism and the person to improve your quality of life
Every human being is unique. So, apart from learning the ins and outs of narcissism, learn how narcissism affects the person. The more you understand him, the more you can adapt to him so you can get the results or responses you expect more often.
- Try to anticipate his response to a particular situation or condition, then create scenarios to get the outcome or response you want. Learn how he really perceives you and try to adjust to that view as comfortably as you can.
- Don't change so much that you're frustrated with yourself, but adjust yourself to create conditions that make you happy. Remember the advice that parents always give to people who want to get married. Your partner will give you anything you want if he feels it was his own idea.
- The better you recognize and understand the person with narcissism, the more likely you are to break through the psychological wall he created so you can show that you really care about him. This will benefit both parties.
Step 3. Don't give up on feeling or touching actions
You've probably learned that people with narcissism respond better to unrelated requests, but this doesn't mean you have to stop doing things that come from deep in your heart.
- In fact, he might even be happy if he could brag about the love sign you put on his lunchbox to his co-workers. But remember, you probably won't get a thank you when he gets home from work.
- Actions that show you care for them will fulfill your need to love someone without hurting them as long as you don't expect them to respond to your actions with feelings or do the same for you.
Step 4. Seek advice from other sources
You are already on the right track with learning the ins and outs of narcissism. There are many books or other resources that can help you survive this challenging relationship.
Step 5. Share with others
Don't forget you're not the only person affected by his attitude. Share it with friends and coworkers who are also trying to maintain a relationship with him.
Step 6. Observe the children
If she already has children, make sure the child is safe living with a parent who has narcissism. Parents who suffer from narcissism often like to harass, either physically or verbally. Pay attention to whether the child has difficulty getting along because of the behavior of his parents. Try to find ways that you can help or teach the child how to get along so he doesn't have the narcissism his parents did.
