3 Ways to Forget People

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-19 22:11

We've all experienced it; even though you have separated from someone, it feels like that person still haunts your mind. When you break up with someone or end a friendship, it can take months or even years to forget that person. If you don't take action to replace those thoughts with something positive, memories and "if only" will run through your mind incessantly. By letting go of the past, changing the way you think and making new memories, you can forget someone who caused you to feel empty, sad, or angry. See Step 1 to start forgetting.

Step

Method 1 of 3: Letting Go of the Past

Step 1. Get the termination

Do you often imagine talking to people you can't forget? You think if you could just say one more thing, things would be different. If you still have issues that you haven't discussed with the person you're trying to forget, it will be much harder to get that person out of your mind. That unfinished feeling is pretty much impossible to force out, so it might be a good idea to figure out how to get an ending. Once you have no more unfinished business with that person, your feelings will feel less bad, and they will fade away.

• If there's something you're keeping from someone you can't forget, you may feel better about admitting it. You may owe an apology or feel like you have something to explain. Consider writing it down in an email or letter and then sending it to the person, so you don't have to contact them again.

  

• Be honest with yourself whether it's worth seeing that person again. If you broke up two years ago and your boyfriend is now living with his new girlfriend, it wouldn't make you feel better to go to him asking why he cheated on you. You'll only end up feeling sad and angry, with shame to make it worse.

  

• Try writing a letter and then throwing it away. When reconnecting isn't feasible, or you simply don't want to talk to the person at all, you can still get an ending by writing down all your thoughts as you would with the person. Write it all down on paper, but throw away or burn the letter instead of sending it. It will be a relaxing experience with no messy consequences.

  

Step 2. Don't try to make sense of it all

Everything seemed perfect, but something happened and everything turned gloomy. If only you could find the reason why things changed, you could go back and fix it. Right? Actually no. It's normal for the mind to try to work things out into logical patterns, but there's very rarely a concrete reason for changing feelings. Going back in time looking for answers will only drain your mental energy and make you feel worse. What happened is in the past, and reflecting on it will not help you forget the person who broke your heart.

Try not to replay events in your mind. You train your mind to look back on the memory too often. The more you think about what happened, the more you will “keep” thinking about it

Step 3. Get rid of the mementos

It can be hard to let go of things that remind you of someone you once loved. You may have photos, keepsakes, letters, and other items given to you by someone you can't forget. Getting yourself to get rid of the item, no matter how difficult, is a positive step in the right direction. If you're surrounded by the person's reminders, how can you expect to forget them?

• The best thing to do is throw it all away. Donate, recycle, or burn if you can. If you can't do that, you can put everything in an unobtrusive box and store it in the deepest part of your closet. However, having them around can tempt you to peek inside from time to time, which could hinder your attempts to forget.

  

• Get rid of digital mementos too. Delete text messages. Delete images uploaded to the internet. Delete email, too. Anything that has the power to make you feel emotional about that person should be removed. You may want to unfriend the person on Facebook or delete the contact from your phone, too.

  

Step 4. Eliminate the defense

Most of us tend to let time erase someone's flaws. Maybe you've forgotten all the fights you had with your ex, all you can remember is how beautiful his hair was when you two walked out in the sun, and how nice it was to be with him every night. You may think that you will never feel that way again, and your ex is a lost soul mate. If you're going to forget him, you need to drop the defense for him and remember things as they really are.

• Try to write down all the reasons why the relationship ended, whether it was a friendship, a romantic relationship, or something else. Completely honest in doing so.
• This doesn't have to be a list of the person's negative traits. There are many good reasons for ending a relationship. "We have different goals." "He doesn't understand the real me." “I was a different person back then.” Believe that there is a good reason for the relationship to end, whether it's you or the other person who proposed the breakup.

Step 5. Believe you can forget

The memory of the person you are trying to forget has been haunting you for some time, and you may think that you will never get through. People say “time heals wounds”, so why haven't your wounds healed yet? By reading this article and taking steps to change the way you think, you are taking the right step. It won't happen overnight, but you can move on with your life later. You can't completely erase someone from your brain, but you can certainly get their hands off your emotions, and you're well on your way.

Method 2 of 3: Adjusting Your Mindset

Step 1. Learn to enjoy the present moment

When your mind is always on what should be happening, it is very difficult to pay attention to what is happening right now. But when you pay attention to what is happening and engage with the present time, there is no room in your mind for past memories and worries. Focusing on the present is called “mindfulness”, and it can be very helpful. There are a few things you can try when your mind just won't stop spinning around the memory of people you don't want to think about:

• Pay attention to where you are sitting or standing. Pay attention to how your body feels, and be in tune with your surroundings. Take your mind off what's happening right now – your feet walking on the pavement, the wind caressing your cheek, someone's laughter being heard in the wind. Refocus whenever a memory threatens to occupy your mind.

  

• Say something out loud. Making a sound will quickly orient your mind to the present. Say something like "I'm here," or "this is the present." This may sound strange, but talking will help you control your thoughts.

  

Step 2. Land yourself

You can't go back and change everything, no matter how much you want to. Although it hurts to realize that, reminding yourself often can help you forget. Have a plan to return to the real world when the memory of that person threatens to ruin your day. Landing yourself in the present can help your mind and body remember that the "now" is what matters, not the past. Here are some things you can do:

• Talk to a friend. Call someone and have a long talk – about things that have nothing to do with “that person”.

  

• Do physical activity. Go for a walk, run, or swim. Take your dog out or go to a yoga class. Moving your body has a tremendous effect on clearing your mind.

  

• Do sensual activities. Cook a nice meal or take a long soak in the tub with a glass of wine. Go to a concert or a baseball game. Do something that stimulates all your feelings.

  

Step 3. Enjoy the diversion

When things get too exhausting, it's okay to lose yourself in distraction from time to time. Diversion can be good, because it can rest your mind and help you remember that you can think about something other than your main concern.

• Reading, watching movies and tv shows, and playing video games are good distractions that can heal. Try using media with content that doesn't remind you of people you want to forget.

  

• Forgetting yourself in diversion is sometimes different from running away. It's important not to start watching television or playing games "every" time.

  

• Similarly, don't turn to alcohol or drugs to distract yourself. People are particularly prone to forming addictions when using substance abuse to escape negative feelings.

  

Step 4. Believe that life will be good again

The thought that the best time of your life has passed can be paralyzing. If the person you're obsessing over represents what you thought was a golden year, it's no wonder you're having a hard time letting go. Now is the time to turn your mind to the present and the future, and realize that there is still much ahead of you.

If you miss someone you love, you will eventually reach a point where you can enjoy the memory and the relationship for what it is, and the role it plays in your life story

Method 3 of 3: Accepting New Things

Step 1. Have a new experience

There's no better way to forget someone than to make a new memory. It's very common for people who have recently been through a divorce, breakup, or other loss to spend time traveling and experimenting with new things. That's because embracing new things can go a long way in clearing out all the cobwebs and refocusing your mind.

• Go somewhere you've never been, even if it's only a few cities apart.
• Try a new hobby.
• Join the class.
• Go out more often.
• Listen to new music.
• Eat at the new restaurant.
• Act like a tourist in your city and visit landmarks you've never been.
• Explore local parks and nature reserves.
• Go to the museum
• Go to festivals and fairs.

Step 2. Be interested in the world

Being interested in the world around you is related to mindfulness. Instead of always being on your mind, look outside, and get involved. Thinking about things other than your own problems takes practice. Even if it's not easy at first, just pretend – later on, you'll see that the present is more interesting than the past.

• Find out what's happening in your community. Get involved with local politics and have an opinion on issues that affect you and those around you.

  

• Really listen when you talk to people. Think about where they come from instead of worrying about yourself.

  

• Find ways to help others. Volunteering is a great way to get out of your mind.

  

Step 3. Change your environment

If you are still living in the same place you shared with the person you wish to forget, it can be difficult to escape the memory. Changing it really helps. Even if you don't want to move, there's a lot you can do to refresh your surroundings.

• Rearrange the furniture.

  

• Wall paint.

  

• Buy some new stuff, like a new pillow or lamp.

  

• Take a new route to work, rather than the same route you always take.

  

Step 4. Give yourself a makeover

Changing a few things about your body can give you a new lease of life. The goal is not to be a different person, but to make some changes that can help you feel like you are entering a new chapter – one that is happy, healthy, and caring. Here are some ideas:

• Change your hair. Color, cut or style differently.

  

• Buy some new clothes. Try a style you wouldn't normally try, or a color you wouldn't normally go for.

  

• Buy some new personal items. Have you used the same brand of deodorant for 15 years? Do you always wear the same fragrance? Change it!

  

• Try a new sport.

  

• Eat something different for breakfast

  

Step 5. Meet new people

Filling your life with a new personality is a great way to get rid of the person you want to forget. Find positive and inspiring people and spend time with them. Whether your goal is to meet new friends or find someone to have a romantic relationship with, meeting new people is a fun way to re-engage with the world. Before you know it, your mind will be filled with plans and possibilities, and the person you want to forget will eventually recede from your mind.

Tips

• Stay strong.
• Keep on living, Meet new people.
• Try to take this situation lightly.
• Find new friends.