Many people cannot forget someone who plays an important role in their life. If you are experiencing the same thing that makes it difficult to focus on daily activities, try to work on it so that you are free from the feeling of loss. Start by giving yourself a chance to feel sad and then try to forget it and do various activities that help you forget the past and move on again.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Giving Time to Yourself
Step 1. Write down the things that you experience during the relationship
One way to forget someone is to write down what you have experienced with them. Honestly expressing how you feel helps you understand more objectively why the relationship had to end. If you have lost someone who recently passed away, take this opportunity to grieve and recover.
- Be objective when taking notes if you recently broke up with a lover, friend, or family member. Write down your feelings honestly. Does it make you feel happy or uncomfortable? Is the relationship going well? Are there signals that indicate a relationship is breaking, but you're not aware of it?
- If you want to remember a loved one, write about a happy experience. What makes you feel lost? What was the best moment when you were with him? How do you feel when you think about tomorrow without him by your side?
- When you're done writing, read your notes again. By understanding the relationship as a whole, you will be able to think objectively so that you can overcome your sadness and return to your normal life.
Step 2. Try to find the pattern of the relationship
After you've recorded your experiences in your relationship, take the time to find patterns by taking a thorough look at your life and other relationships you've had. Do you tend to be in relationships with certain types of people? Are you friends with people who have a negative impact? Are these choices based on things related to your personality? When evaluating a past relationship, answer the following questions:
- How did it start until a relationship or friendship was established? Who took the initiative to start it? Are you the active or passive one when a new relationship begins?
- Who is more dominant after the relationship is established? Who decides what you should do in your spare time? Did you get enough opportunities to make a decision? Have you ever been forced to do something unpleasant?
- Emotionally, how do you feel when you are with him? Happy? Stressed? Depression? Worried? Bored? Are your emotional needs being met? Why?
- Why did the relationship end, who made this decision, how do you feel because of this incident?
Step 3. Express feelings
When you have to forget someone, start by expressing your painful feelings. You may want to ignore negative feelings, but you need to admit them first in order to get an answer for why you're feeling hurt.
- Write a letter to yourself. Get in the habit of keeping a personal journal. Share your feelings with a friend or therapist and explain why. Be honest about what you're going through. At this time, maybe you will cry. Remember that all emotional baggage must be released so that you can move on again.
- Remember that you also have to dare to take responsibility. In general, the end of a relationship is not caused only by one party. Try to objectively see if you have a part in this too. Use this opportunity to get to know and understand yourself better, not to blame yourself. Use this experience as a learning opportunity so you're ready to move on again.
Step 4. Watch yourself
After evaluating and controlling your emotions, start giving yourself some time. When experiencing loss, many people do not have time to pay attention to themselves. Don't do the same.
- Get in the habit of getting enough sleep at night, eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and maintaining personal hygiene. Taking care of yourself when you're still sad that you're separated from someone isn't easy. However, you should try to stay strong and be able to live your daily life as usual.
- Do what you enjoy, such as watching your favorite movie, soaking in a warm bath, ordering food, or hanging out with friends. Do positive things for yourself. When you feel lost, you need to take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Step 5. Give yourself time to grieve
You can't force yourself to forget someone right away. Take as much time as possible to grieve because no one can determine how much time it will take to forget someone.
- If necessary, perform a grieving ritual as a way of dealing with grief. Since rituals are based on intentions and actions, many people feel empowered again by doing this.
- Some burn objects or keepsakes from people who want to be forgotten. If you are saddened by the death of a loved one, write him or her a letter and place it next to the tombstone. Perform rituals that are beneficial for yourself and make you free from sadness.
Part 2 of 3: Stop Thinking About It
Step 1. Keep things that remind you of him
In order to forget someone, try to free yourself from all the things that remind you of them, such as photos, DVDs, gifts, food, or souvenirs.
- If you don't want to throw it away, keep it in a box and leave it with a friend until you can completely forget it.
- Delete files from electronic devices, such as songs or photos that remind you of them.
Step 2. Disconnect on social media
If you are friends on Facebook, WA, or other electronic applications to communicate, delete or block the account. If you want to forget someone, don't keep looking for the latest information about their daily life. A good way to start is to reduce the lines of communication. To overcome grief, resist the temptation to communicate with him via Facebook or Twitter.
Step 3. Focus on what is happening
To make it easier to forget someone, focus your mind on the present. It's very hard to forget a loved one if you keep regretting what happened.
- Remember that you cannot change the past. The only thing that can be changed is the present. Intend to live life by making today the best day. One useful way is to use signs to generate awareness. For example, every time you find yourself thinking about the past, say to yourself "That's over; I live in the present and want to focus on my own happiness."
- Do various exercises to control your mind to focus on the present, for example by meditating, doing yoga, or exercising. Sign up for a gym, yoga studio, or meditation community.
Step 4. Do activities according to hobbies
Use hobbies as a way to take your mind off your sadness and focus on recovering. Whatever activities you enjoy, such as playing video games, knitting, working out as a team, or playing sudoku, can help you become aware of the present and deal with sadness. This will make it easier for you to forget your loved ones and return to your normal life.
Part 3 of 3: Going Again
Step 1. Seek support from others
If a new relationship or friendship ends, you need to spend time with other people to focus your mind on the things that matter, instead of dwelling on the person you want to forget.
- Make an activity plan with friends. Go to the supermarket to buy daily necessities. Take a friend for coffee or a movie.
- Don't hesitate to contact people you haven't interacted with in a long time. Call relatives who are rarely contacted. Find out if an old friend would like to accompany you to dinner. Communicating with people you've been ignoring because you're in a relationship with someone is a great way to get over them and move on.
Step 2. Make new friends
If you are both in the same community, make new friends by socializing in other communities.
- Explore the possibility of volunteering. Many people make new friends through shared interests. Join a community that cares about the same thing. In addition to making you feel important when experiencing emotional vulnerability, you can meet people with a similar mindset.
- Use the Meet Up website to make new friends. Many people in various groups use this site to plan activities according to their interests. Type in the required information and get a glimpse of yourself. The site will show many groups according to your interests.
Step 3. Go on vacation
If financial conditions and time permit, go out of town for a few days. Take a plane or drive a car on a short distance route. Look for different sights and create new memories. You can clear your mind by being in a new environment. If you can't take a long vacation, a weekend out of town can free you from unpleasant negative thoughts and help you get going again.
Step 4. Consult a therapist if necessary
If you continue to be trapped in grief and can't get over your loved one, consider the possibility of going to therapy. A professional therapist can help you deal with the negative emotions of a breakup. Ask your doctor to give you a referral to consult a therapist and find out what insurance covers. If you are a student, you may get free consultations at your school or college.
Step 5. Be a person who is able to be grateful
After some time you try to forget it, be grateful for the things that are no longer there. This advice may seem contradictory, but you can only overcome sadness and forget your loved ones if you are able to appreciate the happy moments.
- If you are grieving the death of a loved one, be grateful that you had the opportunity to feel close to them. Give yourself time to feel again the good times with him and full of happiness.
- If you are saddened by the breakup, don't forget the positives. Even if you and your ex-girlfriend aren't the perfect match, be grateful that you once loved someone. If the friendship has to end, remember the fun trip the two of you had and be grateful for the good memories with them.
