Shy men are very good at harboring feelings and can be hard to read at times. In general, shy guys have their own rules of the game, mainly because they don't know what the rules out there are like or because they're just too nervous.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Guessing Her Feelings
Step 1. Don't ask him if he outright likes you
Confrontation makes shy men nervous. He will not only deny it, but may also start avoiding you afterward out of embarrassment. When interacting with shy guys, always use subtle techniques.
Step 2. Don't ask his friends how he feels about you
A shy guy's top priority is secrecy. If a shy guy likes you, chances are he hasn't told anyone about it or doesn't mean to.
- Asking his friends has a very serious negative aspect. You may receive insufficient information about whether or not he likes you. Because he's shy and doesn't usually express his feelings, you may get the idea that he's not interested in you, when in fact he is.
- Asking his friends also has a negative aspect because you seem to be passing the ball into his hands. When he finds out-or thinks that you like him, he'll think that you want him to ask you out. It will depress him. As annoying as it may seem, there's a lot you can do here to help her feel more relaxed.
Step 3. Compare his attitude towards you with his attitude towards others
Shy men's attitudes sometimes become so weird that it almost feels unreasonable. Instead of just analyzing his behavior when he's around you, compare it to the way he acts around other people. Pay attention to what he's overdoing around you-good or bad. Is he more silent? More nervous? More restless? If he treats you differently than he treats other people, he must have some strong feelings for you.
Is he really quiet around you? His inability to speak may be due to nervousness. He has feelings for you, and he's afraid to say something weird or stupid, so he's reassuring himself that it's better not to say anything when he's around you
Step 4. Read her body language
Here you're not looking for the usual flirting with other people (such as approaching, touching, and other body language that provokes your attention), look for signs of discomfort when around you. If he's staring at the floor, crossing his arms, avoiding eye contact, or making more nervous gestures than usual, he's probably trying hard to hide his attraction to you.
- Does he move his hands nervously, fiddle with clothes or hair when you talk to him? These are signs of nervousness. Talking to you makes him so nervous that he can't keep still.
- Does he sweat or have sweat dots on his forehead when you are near? Sweating is another sign of nervousness. Sweating is an involuntary function of the body, so if it could be controlled, he would definitely do it. But if you can't, your forehead and armpits will likely get wet.
- Does he blush or does he seem to be gulping when he's around you? The red hue can be hard to see at times, but to some men the sign is clear: her face is bright and looks as if she's just run a mile. Swallowing is a sign that he knows he has to say something, but can't find the right words, or any words, to say.
- Is he around you often, but never close to you? Maybe he likes to be around you, but doesn't want his feelings to be exposed for being around you. If he's always around, but never close enough, he may be powerless to resist wanting to be close to you, just like you are.
Step 5. Try to catch him red-handed when he's staring at you
Because a shy guy suppresses his feelings more than other guys, keeps his attraction a secret and even avoids the girl he likes, he often steals glances in return. Watch him out of the corner of your eye to see if he's staring at you when he thinks you're not paying attention. If he does that more than once, he's definitely attracted to you. But be careful, if you see him and he immediately looks away, it means he is very embarrassed. Smile if you want to give him hope.
Or, does he not want to look at you at all? A shy guy must have looked at a girl. But if he continues to avoid looking at you, it could be that he doesn't want you to notice his feelings. Pay attention to whether he looks at other girls to see if he behaves that way in general or only when he's around you
Step 6. Watch how he talks to you
Everyone is nervous when chatting with the opposite sex they like, but for a shy guy, the nervousness is even worse. Usually, he will give a short, low, maybe even sharp answer, or he will speak very quickly and erratically in panic. Again, notice if he talks very awkwardly around you compared to when he's around other people.
- Does he give short "yes" or "no" answers and refuse to answer at length? It's not because he's not interested in the conversation, but because he's too interested and doesn't want to say anything that would express his feelings for you.
- Is he more confident if he has friends? Friends gave him some kind of psychological support. He still doesn't want to mess things up in front of you, but he's more willing to chat.
Step 7. See if he is friends with your friends
Not necessarily because he likes your friends, maybe he's looking for an excuse to get closer to you, and he wants to hear about you from people who know you very well. If he's friends with all of your friends and not with you, it could mean he likes you.
With this scenario, make sure he doesn't flirt with your friend. If so, it could be that he actually likes one of your friends, not you. On the other hand, it's possible that he's flirting with your friends to show you that he can impress other girls
Part 2 of 3: Finding Out the Truth
Step 1. Ask him to help you
While a shy guy doesn't want to actively pursue anyone he likes, he usually does this in a passive way to show that he cares. If he likes you, chances are he'll be willing to do anything to help you-sometimes over and over again. However, don't abuse your influence over him. Such an act would be extremely cruel to a shy man, in fact, perhaps the reason he became shy was because he was used to being treated badly.
- In a sweet, calm manner, ask him to bring your books or backpack to class. If you need an excuse (if you don't, you can ask for it right away), say that your back hurts and you don't want it to get worse.
- Ask him to help you with the difficult homework. If he's not great at math, don't ask him to help you with geometry problems, it will only make him more nervous. Find out what subject area he is good at and ask him to explain something to you.
- Ask him to trade his good food for yours at lunch. Maybe he brought jelly beans and you saw him in the cafeteria. Ask for the jelly beans he brought and replace them with donuts or other foods. If he fulfills your request without hesitation, that's a good sign.
Step 2. Praise him and see how he reacts
There's no need to over-praise, "You had a great presentation!" or “Thanks for helping me with my homework!” it's enough. You may find it difficult to compliment him, especially if you're shy too, but compliments will have a positive effect on making him feel more confident around you, and you'll be able to find out if he actually likes you. The most important part to pay attention to is the reaction.
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His reaction to you:
- She stutters, keeps silent, blushes or gets even more embarrassed
- He compliments you back, even if it's a little awkward
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His reaction to not liking you:
- He doesn't seem moved or affected at all by your compliment
- He reacts with obvious displeasure or disappointment
Step 3. Talk to him in cyberspace
Many shy guys feel more comfortable typing in front of a screen than talking face-to-face. Try starting a conversation with him on Facebook, Twitter, or Skype, and apply these tips so you can see if he's flirting with you online.
- If he sends you a friend request on Facebook, that's a great sign. Don't send a friend request if you just met him. Wait and see if he will do it. In cyberspace, men can usually do what they can't do in the real world. And if he sends a friend request, he'll want to get to know you.
- If he's passionate about chatting online and loves sharing his stories with you, it's because he enjoys talking to you, but wants to take control of the situation. In cyberspace, he feels more in control because he doesn't have to worry about the impression he makes when meeting face-to-face.
- Ask something and see if he also asks questions back. Shy guys are usually good at asking questions (because he doesn't want to be the one who keeps talking). If he keeps asking about your past, your goals, or something as simple as your day, take that as a good sign.
- Don't just chat on the internet. It's okay to chat online or via text message, but in the end, you have to approach him and try to get him to open up in person. Otherwise, he will be too comfortable with the virtual world and need extra courage to take real steps.
Part 3 of 3: Taking Steps
Step 1. Start interacting with him in his own element
Shy men often feel strange about the world, as if their trajectory and that of other people are different. This can make something as simple as talking to other people very difficult. However, it's more likely that a shy guy has a "safe place" he feels comfortable with like home. If you can find the place and make yourself welcome, that will be the first step to connecting with more than just friends.
What is that special place? It depends on the man himself. For some men, it means a football field, for others it means a library. Find out what he likes to do and find a way to get into his comfort zone
Step 2. Enjoy the friendship first
Shy guys will stay in the friend zone for a very long time, tormented by the feeling of whether or not to ask you out. For him, the friend zone is a fun medium. He can be close and talk to you, but doesn't risk losing anything by asking you out. For shy men, this is a low-risk bet, and many of them enjoy the situation.
Don't be discouraged, and don't believe people who say you can't date them after you've made friends. That is absolutely not true. You are the ruler of your own world
Step 3. Pay attention to your body language
You've been trying to read his body language to see if he likes you, now you should check your own body language to see if you're sending the right signals. The trick is body language that conveys openness, not the impression of being closed off.
- Convey openness by smiling, taking off your headphones, talking to those around you, smiling at strangers, and laughing when you feel like laughing. Indirectly this is saying, "It's okay, I don't bite."
- If you're looking down at your laptop in the corner of the room, wearing headphones, and ignoring other people, he'll be afraid to approach you. Avoid "closed" body language, at all costs.
Step 4. Be patient waiting for him to approach you
The best-case scenario is that you show enough interest for him to finally understand and ask you out. Then, you'll find out that he really likes you and won't hesitate when he's dating. If you interact in his element, make friends, pay attention to body language, and be patient, he will ask you out if he likes it. It's only a matter of time.
Step 5. If other methods don't work, ask her out
You can send as many notes as you want, or lick your lips so often that your tongue tastes bitter from the lipstick, but sometimes a guy is so shy or insensitive that the only way is for you to ask him out. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world. Many other beautiful, intelligent, and attractive girls do too. If you like this guy, it doesn't matter who takes the first step, as long as you're both happy.
