How to Get a Girlfriend if You're a Shy Guy (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 10:50

For you shy guy, getting a girlfriend can be difficult and intimidating. Shy people are more likely to resist the urge to express their feelings so as not to be rejected. Luckily, there are things you can do to boost your confidence and get you to have the courage to confess your feelings to a girl and make her your boyfriend.

Step

Part 1 of 3: Building Yourself

Step 1. Have a good appearance

Make sure you project your confidence onto others. You can't be confident unless you feel like you look good in public. Therefore, you should pay attention to how you look in the eyes of others and after that hopefully you will feel better about yourself and less shy. Try to make these changes:

Revamp your clothing collection. Get rid of ugly clothes or clothes that don't suit your age and places you frequent.
Make sure you keep yourself tidy. If you have a mustache or beard, trim it. If not, make sure you shave every day. Also, make sure the hair is always neat at the back and next to the ears.
Keep your body in shape. If you're shy or insecure because you're not in good shape, take time to exercise. Try to run a few times a week or work out at the gym. Soon you will feel better physically and you will likely become more confident as well.

Step 2. Use good posture and body language

Bad posture gives the impression that you lack self-confidence. Try to stand up straight, look forward, hands at your sides, smiling if you want to. Take the time to pay attention to other people's postures and body language – especially people you admire or find attractive and charming.

Don't bend over.
Do not move your hands or hide your hands in your pockets.
Pay attention to how you swing your arms as you walk.
Don't cross your arms or take other defensive positions when talking to other people.

Step 3. Learn how to be polite

If you're rude, careless, or disrespectful, you'll turn the girl you're interested in away from. Instead, try to learn to be polite. Not only will this help you radiate confidence, but it will make the girl you're attracted to feel special too. Also, if a girl sees you treating another girl politely, it could show a guy like you to her and it could mean that she wants to be with you.

If necessary, hold the door for him as he enters.
Listen to him and don't disturb him when he is talking.
Treat others who are serving you well.
Let him choose.
Don't dominate.

Step 4. Try to hone your sense of humor if you are not naturally humorous

Humor makes people more relaxed when they are nervous. If you're not naturally funny, try to hone your sense of humor a little until you can slip a little humor into the awkward moments. You can try:

Situational humor which is a form of observation that slightly pokes fun at your current situation and highlights minor oddities or absurdities.
Self-deprecating humour. Humor is great if you exude confidence. Don't use this form of humor if you're afraid of appearing nervous or insecure.
Avoid dirty, racist jokes, and any jokes about other people's religion, politics, or appearance. You can come across as cruel.

Step 5. Spend time with some girls as friends

Even if you're just friends, spending time with girls can give you experience dealing with girls. Befriend some girls with the intention of just being friends. Have fun with them, do activities with them, and get to know them. Try to understand how women think and how they differ from men.

Part 2 of 3: Looking for a Lover

Step 1. Practice your dating skills

By practicing this skill, you too can learn good techniques for seducing, flirting, and approaching women. This way, when you find a woman that you really are interested in, you'll be more flexible in approaching her than not practicing at all. Try to:

Seduce girls casually when you meet him at the bar.
Smile at the girl who walks past you.
A toast to a girl at the bar. Then go back to having fun with your friends.
Don't seduce or flirt with a girl you know won't flatter or accept your flirting.

Step 2. Find a lover who is in your social circle

Chances are there are several single women in your current social circle. It could be a friend of your friend, or indeed a friend of yours. If you think he's interested in you, try to show your interest too.

Don't be afraid to show your interest.
If you get rejected, try to be polite. Do not damage the reputation in your social circle.
Use your common sense and don't approach women who won't welcome your approach.

Step 3. Use online dating sites or matchmaking services

An online matchmaker service could be your ticket to finding a lover. The best thing about this service is that the women you contact are also looking for lovers. The difficulty is finding someone who interests you who is also interested in you.

Don't let rejection discourage you. There are many fish in the sea of the Internet.
Sign up for several online services.
Try to be honest about yourself and make it clear that you want commitment.

Step 4. Choose a place where you can find your lover and spend some time there

A place that many women frequent and where you feel comfortable is a good place to try. Try a place that is conducive to your expertise: music, public speaking, or intimate private conversation. Get out and have fun.

Step 5. Don't look nervous or withdrawn

When trying to find a girl to date, try not to appear nervous or withdrawn. Women can feel it and he automatically feels bored with you. However, men who are busy spreading charms to women can look scary in their eyes.

Step 6. Force yourself to talk to women

When socializing and looking for girls to date, don't withdraw because you're shy. You have to force yourself to talk to as many women as possible. This can help you hone your skills and allow you to meet as many women as possible. Before long, you may find that shame is just a part of your past.

Step 7. Make sure you are actively dating when you are single

Being shy, you also tell yourself that you don't need to date for one reason or another. This is a trap because if you don't date, your social skills die and your shyness becomes stronger. Make sure you go on a date every time you meet someone you like.

Don't be discouraged if you get rejected.
Make sure you go on at least a few dates a month.
Don't date multiple people at one time. It's okay if you go on a few first dates close together. But if you're going on a second or third date with someone, it's a good idea to stop looking for new people to date until you've decided where this relationship will take you.

Step 8. Don't wait for the "perfect" girl

Sometimes because we're shy, we use the excuse that we don't want to socialize or date because the girls we meet aren't perfect or good enough for us. This is a bad excuse. You won't know if someone is perfect unless you talk to them and get to know them and maybe even date them a few times.

Feel free to go out to meet and date as many women as possible.
Don't let the concept of "perfection" keep you from practicing your dating and flirting skills.
You can't really get to know someone until you've spent time with them.

Part 3 of 3: Showing You're Interested in Him

Step 1. Show your interest verbally

The best way to get out of the "friendship trap" is to avoid him in the first place and show him your romantic interest in him. Once you've made sure he's a good match for you and may be interested in you, show your interest.

Tell him that you want to get to know him better.
Compliment his appearance and/or intelligence.
Ask for his phone number and/or provide yours.

Step 2. Show interest nonverbally

By showing nonverbal signs of your interest, you can take the relationship further and find out if he's willing to accept your invitation to date. But don't do it for too long. You should know quickly if he is interested in you or not. Try to:

Look into her eyes (at the right time) and smile. This shows respect and interest, and he may reciprocate.
If your gaze and smile are well received, you can do small things like gently pat her on the back, gently touch her hand to show your interest and get her to respond.
If you get rejected or ignored, it's a good idea to stop. What you see as persistence can be misinterpreted as sexual harassment or stalking.

Step 3. Talk to him

Talking to him is the best way to have a relationship with him. Find out what you have in common and if he tells you something unique about himself that you can understand, try to smile and tell your own story. Be yourself. You may think you can attract him if you pretend to have something in common with him, but eventually he will find out too.

Try to listen to it.
Don't brag about yourself.
Avoid inappropriate sexual comments, ridicule others, or make yourself look good by stepping on other people.

Step 4. Ask her out on a date

The best way to deal with shyness and get a boyfriend is to ask him out on a date. Some things you can do:

Tell him you want to take him out for coffee or dinner to get to know him better.
Make sure your first date is somewhere where you can chat and get to know each other. You can enjoy coffee in the cafe or have a picnic in the garden.
Make sure you ask her out as soon as possible. If you wait too long, you might just see him as a friend.

Step 5. Call him the day after your first date

Make sure you call him the day after the first date. This conversation can be the key to determining whether the relationship will continue or not. This could be an opportunity to ask him out again. Try to:

Chat lightly as a new conversation progresses.
Compliment him and tell him how much fun your date was.
Let him know that you want to see him again.
Offer to ask him out again.
Don't call her right away after you're on a date, unless she calls or texts first or you've discussed it before. Do not let you look so desperate.

Step 6. Use a second date to get to know each other better

The second date should be easier because you two know each other a little bit. Try to have fun while getting to know each other on the second date. Remember that getting to know each other is the key to moving a relationship from just "dating" to "going out." You can try:

Take him out to dinner and then go to the cinema (not just watch it). You can get to know each other over dinner, then enjoy a movie together afterwards.
Take a walk around town. Exploring the community together (by foot or by car) is a great way to connect and share experiences.
Try not to rush into trying to take the relationship to the next level at this point. Inviting him to watch a movie at home is not the right option for now.
Do a similar but more intimate activity for the third date.

Step 7. Maintain communication when you're not together

After a few dates, if the relationship is healthy, you're more likely to communicate regularly. Not that you always communicate, but maybe every day or two.

Make sure this communication is healthy and not one-sided.
If you want to be with him, respond to calls and messages he sends.
Use this communication to create a deeper bond and deeper understanding with one another.

Step 8. Continue this process until you have a committed relationship

Keep doing your thing and continue the process of improving yourself, resisting shame, exuding confidence, and continuing to meet women until you find a committed relationship that makes you happy. This is your goal. Don't hold yourself back.

Tips

Do not share any confidential or personal information that it discloses to you. If he wanted your friends to know, he would have already shared it with them. You should assume that this information should only be known to you.
Don't praise him too much. Compliments are fine, but if you overdo it, they might think you're hot or weird.
Don't swear in his presence unless you know he doesn't mind.
A man doesn't have to look like Nicholas Saputra to get a girlfriend. Don't think of yourself as ugly. If you look at the lovers of other beautiful women, you will find that most of them don't look like Nicholas Saputra either.
Try to be honest, straightforward. Girls love it when you tell them how you feel.
Approach him slowly. Try to get to know him better and find out what he likes. Who knows, you two like the same thing!
You are already cool. Don't try to be someone else.
Remember that a girl will signal quickly if she is interested. If you get signs that the girl you're dating isn't interested, forget about her.
Don't tease too much. Girls don't like it.