Saying "I love you" can be both fun and scary-especially if there are cultural differences between you and your crush. However, this is easy to overcome. Read the steps below, and you will feel more confident and easy to say "I love you" to Japanese people you like.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Understanding Culture
Step 1. Love is a big thing
In Japanese culture and tradition, love is described as a special feeling that is bound by gods and separated only by death. In western culture, the term "love" is used more freely and in some ways that are not related to a relationship. People may say they "love" ice cream, their smartphone, or their favorite sports team. Before saying "I love you," reflect on how you really feel and make sure what you want to say.
Step 2. Expressions of love are not common
Although there has been a push in recent years for Japanese men to express their love more openly, words of love are not usually spoken by Japanese people. However, they express their feelings through emotions.
- Speak with your eyes. In one study, it was observed that Japanese people focus more on a person's eyes than their mouth to determine emotions. Research shows that the muscles around the eyes are expressive, giving clues about how a person really feels, so that Japanese people can know a person's true feelings well.
- Use intonation of voice. In one study, it was noted that Japanese participants paid more attention to a person's voice than their face, making Japanese people adept at listening to emotional cues.
Step 3. Family and friends are important
If you have the opportunity to get to know and make yourself well-liked by family members and friends, then this can help you succeed in a relationship in the long term. Young Japanese men and women often go on group dates and appreciate that they are part of the group.
- You can't judge a Japanese woman's attraction to you by her attitude around her friends. Japanese women often behave in social groups, but may be more open and flirtatious in more intimate situations.
- A glimpse of the "happy endings" in Japanese novels shows that unlike western countries, fiery passion is not something that brings couples together, but friends, family, and the appropriate circumstances.
Step 4. Money is probably what matters
If your declaration of love is the start of a journey that you hope will end with a Japanese woman as your wife, you may want to consider your finances. In Japan, according to tradition, marriage is partly fostered with practical considerations-one of which is money. In a recent online survey of more than 500 Japanese women, 72% said they would not want to get married without money.
Step 5. Love and sex don't have to go hand in hand
Japanese men and women think about sex quite openly, so if you feel like you have to say "I love you" to have sex, there's no need to do this. Sex and sex are less favored in Japan than in western countries. Many Japanese people consider physical attraction to be part of attraction in a dating relationship.
Step 6. Use Valentine's Day and White Day
On Valentine's Day in Japan, women give gifts, especially chocolates, to the men they love. Men return affection on White Day, which is one month after Valentine's Day on March 14. Men give women a variety of gifts, usually chocolates.
Method 2 of 2: Choosing Your Words
Step 1. suki desu
This expression actually means "to like" but is the form most often used to express love. If you add "dai" at the beginning ("daisukidesu) it means "I really like you".
Step 2. Kimi wa ai shiteru
This expression is best used to express and commit with genuine feelings of love. This expression doesn't talk about friendship at all. Don't use it unless your feelings are very deep.
Step 3. Taisetu
This expression means "You are worthy" and may be a preferred way of expressing your feelings if you are not quite ready for a committed relationship.
Step 4. suki nan da
This expression can be translated to "Do you know how much I love you?" Saying this expression is one way of giving an explanation--"nan" is used when giving or asking for an explanation.
Step 5. koi no yokan
Those who might think it's a bit theoretical to believe in love at first sight might say "koi no yokan," which refers to the feeling when meeting someone for the first time, that love was on their side at that time.
Tips
- Saying "Watashi wa anata wo suki desu" can also mean "I love you". Or you can say it in short, "suki desu".
- Even though "suki desu" means "I like you", it vaguely indicates that you love him. Obscurity is a part of Japanese culture.
