A love triangle occurs when one of the partners who are committed to love each other is involved in a romantic relationship with another person. A love triangle usually starts because two people who are friends like each other, but continue to be a troubled love affair. Relationships that are colored by love triangles usually trigger psychological disorders that are difficult to overcome, but this happens very often.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Determining Your Role
Step 1. Determine your position in the love triangle relationship
There are two kinds of love triangles: rivalry and infidelity. Competition in a love triangle occurs between 2 people who compete to win someone's heart. Infidelity occurs because a person has 2 lovers at the same time.
- Infidelity in a love triangle can be limited to imagination. This occurs when a person imagines he is in a romantic relationship with a third person or idolizes someone who was once his partner or lover.
- At first, maybe he didn't realize his role as a rival, so there was a love triangle. Instead, he positioned himself as a victim for being involved in an extramarital affair with someone else's lover. Even though there is some truth to this, he is deliberately getting himself involved if the relationship continues. If you're in a love triangle as a rival, honestly admit that you played a part in this.
Step 2. Discuss what happened
The love triangle is an issue that is difficult to talk about or unpleasant to hear, but it needs to be discussed with honesty and openness from all parties involved. Are all three parties aware of a love triangle? Although difficult, many experts recommend that this issue be discussed openly. Dishonesty in a relationship has a negative impact on all parties involved in a love triangle, including yourself.
Step 3. Consider the goal you want to achieve by establishing a love triangle
Every relationship is for a specific purpose, including bad ones. Also, make sure you know the motives that make you want to be in a relationship. Ask yourself: does the love triangle fulfill your desire for attention or distract you from your goals and relationships? Professional counselors can explain how a love triangle meets psychological needs.
- Sometimes, a person enters into a love triangle by loving a third person because the illusion that he will not be abandoned makes him feel safe. However, this is sometimes a way of fulfilling sexual or emotional needs that are not obtained during intercourse with a partner. You know the real reason best.
- Remember that the decision to enter into a love triangle relationship as a rival hinders intimacy. This relationship is full of interpersonal drama, rather than mutual trust.
- Involvement in infidelity or the decision to betray a partner can provide sexual pleasure beyond expectations. A love triangle relationship is not necessarily because of this, but psychological conditions have a big impact on decision making. Honestly admit your role so that a love triangle occurs.
Method 2 of 3: Making a Decision
Step 1. Consider various options
You don't have to stick around or split up when you're in a love triangle. There are other options to choose from and make the best decision according to you.
- If you're not the initiator of the love triangle, you're likely feeling victimized. However, this mental condition is self-defeating.
- People who consider themselves victims often use the terms "should" and "shouldn't". For example, "That woman shouldn't flirt with my husband because he knows we're married" or "He should understand that I'm so tired from taking care of the kids and working all day!" While you can give strong reasons to explain what happened and determine what course of action is right, love is not always based on objective logical thinking. It's a good idea to put those reasons aside when making the best decision for yourself.
- You may not be able to get a divorce because of financial dependence, breaking tradition, family opposition, or other reasons, but if you can live independently, it's better to divorce than stay.
- Ask someone for help when making a decision. Professional counselors are able to provide support, including those who decide to divorce because of a love triangle.
- You are a victim of domestic violence if you experience emotional, sexual, or physical violence due to a love triangle. Ask a close friend, counselor, or legal agency for help. Call the police if you are in danger.
Step 2. Take responsibility for your decisions
Even though it hurts, you are not guilty if you decide to stay in a love triangle relationship.
- While not uncommon, one option is to persist. If polygamy/polyandry is the decision you think is most appropriate, make sure this option is approved by all three parties involved. However, the same is true in a relationship between 2 people! The agreement to do polygamy/polyandry is a valid option.
- Whether you want to separate or stay, remember that you are the one making this decision, not being forced by someone else. If you don't want to be involved in a love triangle, respond as you wish.
Step 3. Find out why you are suffering
Common emotional responses to being caught in a love triangle are feeling confused, guilty, betrayed, depressed, and lonely. It's natural that you feel that way. So don't blame yourself.
- Feelings do not need to be judged because there is no right or wrong feeling. Before making a decision based on feelings, carefully consider the consequences of your actions because feelings can change over time.
- If you don't want to be in a love triangle, but instead suffer more from breaking up, you may be taking this feeling as a message that he or she is the ideal partner for you. However, this thinking is not necessarily true.
- Remember that the pain of being apart is not an accurate indicator of true love. Suffering can be caused by a fear of living alone or a memory of a past experience you had with him.
Method 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Control your emotions in a useful way
Don't be so quick to blame a third person, whether it's your partner's lover, your home wrecker, or just a casual friend you suspect. Remember that your anger can be based on rationalizing your own actions. It's possible that you're angry to hide shame, guilt, confusion, and other painful feelings.
- Write down everything you feel in a diary as a means of expressing your feelings without hurting other people's feelings.
- If sadness or anger is running high, you can cry or beat something soft. This behavior is human, it doesn't mean you are guilty, weak, or evil.
- Avoid people who make you angry, for example by walking around your block for a few minutes. There are times when you need to distance yourself from interacting with him throughout the weekend or longer.
Step 2. Don't believe everything you think
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness are common to all parties involved in a love triangle. If you feel it, don't let it control you. Instead, be aware of its existence and then ignore it.
- Remember that what matters most when dealing with a love triangle is your actions. Feelings may change, but your actions have a lifelong impact on yourself and others.
- Often times, anger is caused by distressing conditions that are not necessarily the case, such as imagining a vacation alone or loneliness in old age. This can trigger deep sadness. Remember that no one can predict the future and no matter what happens in the present, life continues to progress.
Step 3. Find out the factors that support the occurrence of a love triangle
According to experts, the main cause of infidelity is opportunity. So that the love triangle does not repeat itself, be aware of the factors that trigger it.
- Workers who often travel for business so that they are separated from their families are more likely to carry out extramarital activities. Often times, people on business trips miss their partners and the opportunity to meet new friends.
- Situations that make it difficult for a person to control himself, such as when consuming alcohol or drugs, tend to increase the chances of a love triangle.
Step 4. Forget about a painful relationship
Even though it's hard, you can do it. Accept the fact that the relationship is over. When you feel sad or angry, remember that this is only temporary.
- Don't prolong the suffering by denying the fact that the relationship is over.
- Focusing on your purpose in life without regretting what happened will set you up for another step.
Step 5. Get counselling
Professional therapists are experts who have been trained to listen to others. Consulting with a therapist can help you understand the triggers of the problem, deal with emotional disturbances, and make beneficial changes.
- If you are addicted to sex, take a 12-Step program for overcoming addiction or consult a mental health therapist to understand your behavior patterns.
- If you want to commit violence due to a love triangle, immediately see a professional therapist so you can get help.
