Rejection when it comes to romance can be a painful experience. People who have been rejected feel the same pain as physical pain. As painful as it can be after being rejected by the guy you like, you can recover from this pain and be stronger than ever. Try to learn to respond well, recover from feeling bad about yourself afterwards, and focus on other goals in your life.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Responding to it
Step 1. Accept this decision
Even if deep down you want to convince him to change his mind, this will only embarrass you. Avoid exchanging arguments with him or trying to tell him what he missed by rejecting you.
- For example, try saying "I'm sad you don't want to, but I understand and respect your decision."
- This will make him see you as mature and independent.
Step 2. Acknowledge your feelings
You may feel stupid for trying to express your feelings. You may feel sad because you really feel like he's the "the one" you've been waiting for. Maybe you're mad at him (perhaps he led you to feel this way) and need a little space. This whole reaction is natural. Give yourself permission to feel whatever pops into your body after being rejected. Don't suppress your emotions for their sake or because you feel you have to feel something else. You can't control how you feel, but the best way to get past these feelings is to give them space and then let them go.
Acknowledging your feelings doesn't mean you have to pretend they're real. For example, you can admit that you felt stupid at the time without thinking that you were completely stupid
Step 3. Restore friendship
If you're friends with him, you may be afraid that things will get weird after you've been rejected. However, that does not mean things will turn out like this, especially if your friendship is close enough with him. It's a good idea to get your point across as well so he can feel comfortable, rather than pressured, when making a decision. Here are some things you can say to let him know how you feel:
- "I hope we can still be friends even though it turns out you don't want more than that."
- "I need some time, but after that you still want to be friends?"
- "I don't want things to get weird between us. I still want to be friends. How are you?"
Step 4. Go
If you are truly saddened by the rejection, don't force yourself to stay close to him. Make up an excuse to leave. You can go home and deal with all your emotions there, or call a girl friend to talk. Whatever you do, don't use "the other person" as a friend to share with because he or she is in a very strange position to try to calm you down.
If you're really nervous, you can try asking a friend to call you at a certain time so that if you get rejected, your friend can "rescue" you
Step 5. Try to be honest and sincere
It's okay to let him know that you're disappointed, that it takes time to see him again, as well as any other feelings you have. It's not that you're asking him to be emotionally supportive. Try to be honest about your feelings so he knows you're still interested in communicating and you respect him enough to let him into your emotional process. Also, given that he is honest with you, you should also be honest with him.
Part 2 of 3: Restoring Your Confidence
Step 1. Ask yourself what you expect
When we want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, there are usually things we want from that person such as affection, intimacy, and friendship. Try to figure out what you want, and think about if there is another way to get this same thing.
For example, do you have any close friends to spend time with? Is there anyone else who could be more suited to these needs? When you know what you need, you know how to handle it
Step 2. Realize that every situation and person is unique
It's true you've been rejected by a man, but that doesn't mean all men will reject you. Don't generalize and think you're unattractive because you're not getting along with that person. It could be that he rejects you not because he doesn't like you, sometimes a guy isn't ready for a relationship or the timing isn't right. Don't assume about yourself because of this one rejection.
Step 3. Make a list of things you like about yourself
When a guy rejects you, it doesn't necessarily define who you are. It just shows that you are not compatible. There are other men who will respect you. Make a list of things about yourself to remind yourself that you are valuable and attractive. Here are some examples you can use:
- Are you good at cooking?
- Are you confident?
- Are you financially independent?
- Are you pursuing a degree? Have you earned an education degree?
- Can you face the spiders and insects? Some men are even afraid of her!
Step 4. Don't beat yourself up
Ignore your inner urge to try to figure out "what went wrong" or why you "are not good enough." There are other men who will accept you for who you are so don't think you have to change to be appreciated and loved. If a guy rejects you, he's not the right person for you.
A common mental mistake is "taking it to heart". This attitude makes us think that everything someone does is a direct response to us. Avoid this attitude in the face of rejection from the guy you like by thinking his actions reflect you and your self-worth directly. He said "no" it has nothing to do with your self-esteem
Step 5. You can take painkillers
It may sound silly, but social rejection activates the same pathways in the brain as pain. If you experience excruciating pain after rejection, try taking acetaminophen (Tylenol). Maybe these drugs don't really get rid of the pain, but studies show that taking them can help.
- But, of course, nothing can replace the help of friends and family.
- Avoid consuming intoxicating drugs or alcohol. This will not help in the long run.
Part 3 of 3: Focus on Other Goals
Step 1. Study well
Are you in junior high school? SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL? Studying? Try to focus on the things that really matter in life, such as completing your education and becoming a more insightful, more capable and mature person. It is likely that you will meet many men in the future, but the opportunities for learning are limited.
Step 2. Pursue your own goals
Have you always wanted to take a walk in Europe? Do you want to start a new exercise routine? You can distract from the pain of being rejected by focusing on the things in life that matter and make you happy.
It's natural to want to grieve for a while. It's natural to feel bad after being rejected. Don't be so hard on yourself if it takes you a few days to get back on track
Step 3. Spend time with friends and family
Rejection really interferes with our feelings of social acceptance. Strengthen relationships with your friends. Look for communities to help you pass the time, such as groups at places of worship or reading groups. You can also join online chat rooms to help restore your self-esteem. By being around good people and community, you too can feel better about this rejection.
Step 4. Deal with emotional side effects
Rejection can lead to other painful and destructive emotions such as anger and aggression. There are several ways to deal with these emotions, such as:
- Express yourself in words. You can use a journal, or write on online forums, or talk to friends.
- Practice deep breathing. One way to reduce anger and other strong emotions is to remind yourself to breathe. When you calm your body, your mind also becomes calm.
- If you need additional help, try seeing a counselor. A psychological counselor can help you learn to handle your emotions and restore your confidence so that rejection doesn't feel too heavy in the future.
Step 5. Train yourself to let go
It's natural that you can't get over the guy who rejected you. If you feel like you're obsessed or can't stop thinking about it, try practicing these techniques to quickly recover and move on with your life:
- Write down what attracted you to him. Is he smart, funny, and sweet? Is he a good listener. Acknowledge the things that make you want to be with him.
- Allow yourself to grieve over the failure of your attempts to be with him. You might have imagined you could do things with him, but that's gone now. It's okay if you want to be sad about it.
- Try asking what's "not" covered now. Are there other men that interest you? If not, maybe you have extra time to focus on yourself and other relationships outside of your relationship? Maybe you have more extra time to have fun and carry out your responsibilities? Move your thoughts to the future, instead of grieving over the past.
