The relationship between parent and child can be one of the longest lasting relationships in a person's life. In a relationship, it's natural for a person to feel a variety of emotions, from anger and resentment to support and connectedness. However, how can you feel and show love for your parents, even when the situation is not easy? With a little effort, your relationship can be repaired. This way, you can find ways to develop a loving relationship with your parents.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Loving Parents (for Teens)
Step 1. Spend time with your parents
Activities done with parents can build a sense of connectedness. By doing activities that you can enjoy together, you can see another side of your parents. As you grow, they may fear that they are no longer involved in your life. However, by engaging them in fun activities, you are actually laying the 'ground stone' for building loving adult relationships in the future.
- For example, if you like rock climbing, invite your parents to do rock climbing (of course with light difficulty or, at least, easy terrain). This can be an opportunity to teach them new things. In addition, they may also be more supportive of your hobby if they have done it with you.
- Alternatively, study and ask permission to join in on hobbies that your parents do. Take some time in the afternoon to visit the art museum together, and ask them why they like the art. Interaction with you as a fellow adult helps you develop more mature relationships.
Step 2. Talk to your parents about the things they do that annoy you
If your parents don't know what's bothering you or upsetting you, they can't change their behavior. Therefore, set a quiet and appropriate time to talk about it and remember that you may need to talk about the topic several times. Your relationship with your parents will not change overnight.
Plan ahead for what you want to say so you don't speak without thinking. You'd better talk to other adults beforehand. He or she can give you a picture of the problem or thing you're experiencing from an adult point of view and tell you whether your parent's behavior is normal or really serious
Step 3. Get help dealing with an inappropriate request or behavior
Some parents impose very strict rules or are constantly criticizing their children. They may scold you for never winning a sports match or force you into an activity you don't like. Meanwhile, there are also parents who are indifferent and more focused on their new work and relationships than their children. If you have a problem or request like this, be aware that you need (and deserve) support from a counselor or therapist. Usually, your regular doctor or a trusted teacher can help you get that support.
The decision to resolve parental issues is not yours. Your job is to take care of yourself and learn new strategies for negotiating the complex aspects of your relationship with your parents
Step 4. Talk to your parents about any challenges or problems you are facing
Parents may have a variety of experiences and helpful advice on topics such as sex, relationships, and self-development or growth. Open dialogue on these topics can strengthen your relationship with your parents.
- Use examples from television shows or articles as a way to lighten the mood.
- Send a text or text if you're having trouble starting a chat. Sometimes it's easier to start a conversation about a difficult topic by expressing your thoughts in writing.
- Ask questions about your parents' experiences going through adolescence.
Step 5. Remember that it's normal to have fights in relationships
In your teens, you will feel emotional. Therefore, remember that fighting with your parents does not necessarily mean that your relationship with them is not good.
- Apologize to them if you did or said something that offended them.
- Learn other ways to show your anger, such as journaling or pouring out your feelings to a friend before finally talking to your parents.
- Practice asking for what you need. If your parents do something that upsets you, try to calmly explain your reaction and come up with a reasonable alternative solution.
Step 6. Practice seeing the situation from the parent's point of view
Ask yourself how you would feel if you were them. Also, think about what might make you afraid or anxious if you are a parent and have teenagers. By developing empathy, you can feel compassion for your parents and may realize that their upsetting act was actually done out of compassion.
Method 2 of 3: Loving Parents (for Adults)
Step 1. Accept differences of opinion
Tensions between parents and children are often related to differences in lifestyle, financial choices, or household and childcare decisions. While you may be upset by unexpected suggestions, try to find a way to understand the parent's point of view and come up with constructive solutions to the problem together.
For example, if your parent suggests something you don't agree with, try asking for more information about the suggestion. By understanding what prompted parents to make such suggestions, you can build empathy and show that their point of view or opinion is respected, even if what they say you may not want to do
Step 2. Stay in touch
As you get older, there are many relationships and demands that come to your attention. Your parents, as they get older, may feel more lonely and want to be closer to you. Therefore, regular communication can be good for both you and your parents.
If you love your parents, try to express that affection. After all these years, you may underestimate the fact that your parents actually know you love them. By expressing your affection openly, you can build a (better) relationship with them
Step 3. Say thank you
Many parents help their children, either financially or with time and other things. Remember to show them how much their help means to you.
Look for ways to repay their kindness by helping them do things that are becoming increasingly difficult for them to do as time goes on. In addition, you can also provide emotional or financial assistance if necessary
Method 3 of 3: Caring for Troubled Parents
Step 1. Recognize the consequences of problematic parental behavior
Parental violence can be perpetrated in a variety of ways, including physical and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. Parents may also find it difficult to establish relationships because of health problems or other problems. These things can have a long-term impact on you.
Step 2. Seek professional help
A therapist can help you identify negative patterns that form from childhood and develop strategies for interacting with troubled or, even abusive parents.
Step 3. Focus on the positive
So that you can successfully build a good relationship with your parents, make a schedule to do activities that you and your parents enjoy. Remind yourself of the things you love and appreciate about your parents, and tell your people about those things. The positive aspects of a relationship can be a solid foundation on which to build a loving relationship.
Step 4. Set healthy boundaries
Just setting boundaries that keep you safe and healthy doesn't mean you don't love your parents. In fact, good boundaries are the most appropriate foundation for having a good relationship with troubled parents.
- Be clear about the time you will be spending with them.
- Make a parental care plan as they enter old age. Despite the possible social pressures, you may not be the right person or person to care for them. It's ok to recognize that and make alternative arrangements.
Tips
- Tell them you love them.
- Help them. Calm them down and make sure you are there to encourage or support them.
- Try to have fun together.
