Good parents love and care for their children unconditionally and unconditionally, but not everything is like this because there are parents who expect or force their children to become personal or have certain professions. Instead of demanding that your parents change your attitude, there are some tips for bonding with them, expressing your feelings, and seeking support from supportive people. This article explains how to convey what you want to your parents calmly and lovingly.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Strengthening Relationships with Parents
Step 1. Show concern for parents
If you want your parents to love you unconditionally, do the same for them. Although each family displays different affections, express love and care in a way that works best for you and your parents.
- Do a way to show affection that makes both parties feel comfortable, such as hugging or kissing on the cheek.
- Say to your parents, "I love you Mom and Dad." Appreciate them by saying, "Thank you, Dad" or "Mom is great."
- Help them clean the house, for example sweeping the floor or washing clothes. Do what you can to make them feel appreciated through your actions.
- Sometimes, your parents will return your kindness, but maybe not. Don't be disappointed or blame yourself if they don't reciprocate.
Step 2. Be kind and friendly to parents
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Even if your parents don't take this step, don't be upset, upset, or angry with them. Be kind to yourself and do the same to them and others.
- The more kindness and love you give, the more likely they are to appreciate and love you.
- Try to accept the fact that your parents aren't expressing the affection you'd like them to be. Everyone shows affection and respect in a different way. For example, your parents don't seem to love you, but dad always comes when there's an event at school and mom always cooks dinner for the family to eat.
- Learn different ways to express "kindness" and "love." You can be kind to your parents through actions (washing the car, washing the dishes), touching (hugging, kissing hands, embracing), positive words (commending, appreciating), enjoying quality time together, or giving meaningful gifts.
Step 3. Make time for activities with your parents
Even though you often work in the same place, how much time do you spend on heart-to-heart communication with your parents? They may be able to show affection and attention if you take the time to build a close relationship instead of fighting with them. Do the following activities when interacting with parents.
- Play games, mime or cards
- Play interactive video games or computer games that are fun for both of you
- Do activities in the yard, in the park, or in the outdoors
Method 2 of 3: Expressing Feelings
Step 1. Talk to the parents in private
Express what you think and feel honestly. Find the right time so you can talk in a relaxed, friendly, and fun atmosphere. Try to talk to your parents without other family members present.
- Intimate and meaningful personal conversations with your parents make you trust them and feel loved.
- Choose an appropriate time, such as after dinner or on the weekends when you and your parents have free time to discuss the issues you want to raise.
- Don't be discouraged if the conversation doesn't go smoothly and doesn't go as expected.
Step 2. Express your feelings to your parents
Be assertive when talking about yourself. Explain what you prioritize in your daily life. Say what you want and the things that are weighing on your mind. Don't ignore or suppress feelings just because your parents have different views.
- Don't hesitate to ask your parents for help and support if you are feeling down or having problems.
- Be honest about your feelings, instead of assuming that they know what to do. For example, if you're having a conflict with a friend, share this with your parents and then say, "I'm glad Mom and Dad listened and supported me." While it may feel awkward at first, it will help you get your wish across clearly.
Step 3. Don't get angry, upset, or fight
If the conversation with your parents is not pleasant, don't be angry. You can't force other people to love you for who you are with anger. Follow these tips if you have trouble being patient when talking to your parents.
- Go to a place that makes you feel calm. Eliminate negative thoughts about yourself and others.
- Breathe deeply calmly and regularly. At this time, you can meditate or pray.
- Free yourself from hatred, anger, and resentment. Focus on loving yourself. Express your feelings by writing a diary. Release the annoyance by creating art, such as drawing or painting.
- Continue to communicate with your parents when you can calmly express your feelings.
Step 4. Set boundaries for interacting with parents
If they can't accept and love you for who you are, at least you need to let them know what is expected and acceptable treatment. Explain the treatment you refuse and what the consequences will be if they violate it.
- Use the word "I/I" when explaining boundaries to others. He can be offended and feel blamed if you start a sentence with "you/you," for example, "You always underestimate my success and my work. You are really unsupportive and a bully!"
- When talking to your mother, tell her, "Mom, I know you object to my choosing this profession, but to be honest, I was really sad when you said my profession is despicable. From now on, don't comment on my work anymore. night together every weekend."
Step 5. Remind parents that not everyone has the same perspective as them
Since parents expect you to be a particular person or profession, help them to understand that everyone has different interests, preferences, and identities. Even if they have a hard time accepting it, make sure you reveal your true personality so that you can be yourself.
- Let your parents know that you still respect their wishes, preferences and opinions. Be honest when you speak and show that you respect differences.
- Remember that parents have backgrounds and beliefs that underlie their actions and words.
- Decide what you want. If you want to be loved and appreciated, tell your parents, "Even though our desires are different, I hope that Mom and Dad still love and respect me."
Method 3 of 3: Seeking Support from Supportive People
Step 1. Accept the fact that you can't change your parents' behavior
Don't force them to love and accept you. Even if you want to have a harmonious relationship with your parents, their behavior doesn't change overnight. Try to accept the things you can't change.
- Learn to accept and love yourself. Focus on efforts to improve and develop yourself. Even if your parents don't change, this step makes you more resilient and independent.
- Believe in yourself.
Step 2. Ask for support from supportive people
If your parents don't accept you as you are, share this with adults and relatives who are ready to help, such as your aunt, uncle, grandparent, or school counselor. Explain what you are experiencing and feeling honestly and openly.
- Support from adults and relatives can help you deal with your parents wisely. Ask for advice on how to deal with feeling unappreciated. If possible, ask them to speak directly to your parents.
- If your parents don't support your wishes, spend more time interacting with relatives and people who appreciate, love, and value you.
Step 3. Consult a counselor
If you are not used to expressing your feelings to relatives or those around you, a counselor can help you deal with the anger, anxiety, sadness, or fear associated with this problem. The counselor is able to identify unfulfilled desires and help you overcome them.
- See a counselor at your school for a consultation or seek information about a reputable counselor in your city.
- Discuss with the counselor about options for family counseling with parents so they can participate in these activities. You may invite one or both parents during family counseling. This session will help you learn how to effectively communicate with parents.
Step 4. Don't force yourself to change if it's not according to your heart
Do something only if it is good for you. If your parents force you to do what you refuse, there's a good chance they don't care about you or are just selfish.
- For example, as a girl, your parents ask you to wear a dress and look good when you are out and about with friends, even though you prefer to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Explain that you want to wear comfortable clothes as you wish and ask them to respect your choice.
- Be honest with yourself. Remember that you are not alone.
Warning
- Don't hurt or hurt yourself to solve this problem. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Don't distance yourself from the people around you. Even if you are hurt and feel unloved, this will make you suffer even more. Rejecting yourself doesn't make you feel loved.
- If your parents make you feel bullied, ignored, rejected, or mistreated, contact a counselor or relative who is ready to help.
