Max Muller, a German philosopher, once said "Flowers cannot bloom without sunlight, and man cannot live without love". If you know your feelings are churning inside, but are having a hard time putting them into words above a love letter, don't worry! Whether you're writing a love letter to your spouse, lover, or "someone special," you just need a few tips to create a romantic masterpiece to be proud of.
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Method 1 of 3: Writing for Someone You Admire
Step 1. Forget the rules of writing a formal letter
You don't have to worry about the title for a love letter, how many lines per paragraph, or where to put the date. A love letter is not the same as a formal letter. In fact, a love letter can be considered the most casual, personal, and intimate document in a person's life. What is written in a love letter is far more important than how it is written. So free yourself up and start writing as you please without messing around with standard letter-writing rules and such.
- If you prefer something conservative, you can simply write the name of the reader on the left, on the top line, followed by a comma. For example, if you're writing to Rita Sanusi, your crush from math class, simply write the name " Rita," at the top left of the page.
- If you want something more adventurous, don't be afraid to tweak the traditional formatting rules as needed. For example, if you want to include a date like in a traditional letter, you might take advantage of it by writing something like, September 29, 2016, 145 days since I first met you…”
Step 2. Choose a greeting that shows that the person you are addressing is special to you
In writing a letter, an opening greeting is the greeting used to open a letter, usually something like “Sincerely”, “To Interested Party”, or something similar. There are dozens of greetings to choose from, depending on your purpose for writing the letter. While you can use a casual greeting for a love letter, in this case being creative can be a surefire way to show that you care enough about your reader to take the time to think about it. Or, you can even ignore it. All up to you!
For example, if you are writing a letter to Gilang Andika, the cool guy you meet at the local bookstore, you might try to refer to that fact in your greeting by writing something like, “Dear Gilang, my cool nerd,”
Step 3. Try to make the first line of your letter interesting or arousing
Love letters can vary (for example, sweet, flirty, sincere, or even lewd), but they are never boring. A love letter isn't just an opportunity to share how you feel with your crush, it's a chance to make that person genuinely interested in being with you! The first line of the letter should reflect this desire. You can write witty, funny, or even scandalous words. However, don't even think about starting your letter with, “I'm writing this letter to let you know that I really like you. The reasons are as follows…”
- Here's an example of an interesting opening sentence: Let's say you wrote a letter to Santi Suharto, the “sexy girl” you met at the debate club. There are a million ways to structure your first sentence. Here are two examples to consider:
- "The worst problem in a debate club isn't dealing with Mr Nelson's rules, it's having to argue with people I'm crazy about."
- “Last week, when you got to the podium, you were very adamant about income taxes, but I felt like you were fighting for my heart.”
Step 4. Use a joking tone, but be polite
Lovers of centuries ago may have used rigid, formal language to seduce one another, but modern lovers are usually excused for wanting to have a little fun. Don't be shy if you want to be silly or even tease your partner a little in a love letter. If you already know each other well, this kind of informal approach will usually lead to laughter or even flirting, and no one is offended.
- For example, as long as the reader of the letter clearly knows that you are joking, you can go a step further in puns using ancient, flowery language. Don't be afraid to "show big ambition". For example, you could start with “My beloved, you are the one who keeps my heart dancing. You fill my days with your magic. I would be honored if I could take you to the dance."
- On the other hand, you also don't want to sound too wild. It's okay to make a subtle tease or two, but don't be rude or disrespectful and don't use swear words, unless you both have experience with the words and share a common understanding. Remember that you are trying to win the person's heart, not destroy their ego.
Step 5. Increase the romance with a personal touch
Your love letter doesn't have to look like a structured letter. Ideally, what you write should make it clear that you had one person in mind (and only that person) when you wrote it. Try to include specific details about your partner, such as their physical appearance, how you feel when you're with them, and how they've made your life better to show that you've thought carefully about what's written.
For example, if you're writing a letter to Bima Gusman, the star of the school's swim team, you might want to take a playful approach that sounds serious and include the following details: “Bima, you make my heart forget to beat five times every time you get out of the pool. Your eyes sparkle like the sun's reflection on the surface of a pool, your belly is harder than the tiles in the locker room, and your hair is blacker than your swimming goggles. Marry me."
Step 6. Know what to avoid
Saying love to someone is not easy. Even if you are very good at putting words together on paper, there is always room for error. Luckily, some mistakes can be taken as sweet and endearing oddities. On the other hand, other mistakes can be considered as something very unpleasant. Below are some things you should avoid when writing a letter:
- Self-deprecating jokes (e.g., laughing at or belittling oneself). Some people may master this complex skill, but if you're not careful you can give yourself the impression of insecurity.
- Poetry. If you don't have the talent of Chairil Anwar, or you're not yet a letter reader, your masterpiece will probably be shared with friends and family (and not as something to brag about).
- Mention others. Try to write about only two people: yourself and the recipient of the letter. Now is not the time to make your crush feel jealous.
- Words that are rude, dirty, or contain inappropriate sexual connotations. Wait until you are already dating him.
Method 2 of 3: Writing for a Girlfriend
Step 1. Begin the letter warm and friendly
If you're writing a love letter to someone you're already in a relationship with, the tips above may still work for you, but you'll probably get the best results if you take a slightly different approach. Now that you've got his love, you don't have to worry about provoking his interest or arousing him. Instead, you can use a slightly more intimate and intimate tone, perhaps leaning toward the more intimate conversations that occur in bed rather than high-intensity flirting.
For example, if you're writing to Adrian Putra, the guy you've been dating for a year, you might start with: “Adrian, my love. Can you believe we've been together for a year? Amazing 12 months? An incredible 52 weeks? An electrifying 365 days? Time passes so quickly."
Step 2. Write down something related to a personal joke
After you've known someone for a while, you may have your own “vocabulary” as a couple, such as terms, references, and jokes that only the two of you can understand. To give your letter a personal touch, try to mention it at the beginning of the letter. This step will show that you remember and value the experiences you had together.
This one is up to you because only you and your loved ones know about personal jokes, pet names, and all the references that might be confusing to others
Step 3. Write honestly, even about your struggles and disappointments
No relationship is perfect. After the "honeymoon" period at the beginning of the relationship is over, you could say each couple slowly, but surely begins to see each other's flaws, irritate each other, and sometimes even fight. This is a normal part of being a lover. Don't be afraid to mention things like this lightly in the letter. After all, unpleasant moments are as much an integral part of a relationship as happy moments, although we all wish the latter happened more often.
- However, if in the end your letter turns out to be very serious, make sure the reader of the letter clearly knows that you really believe in the relationship that is being established. Don't let what's written in the letter scare your boyfriend into thinking you're considering breaking up. This will make the relationship tense and uncertain and may even lead to a complete break up between the two of you.
- For example, let's say you wrote a letter to Kinar Wahyudi, your boyfriend and recently had an argument with him. You may want to include a sentence or two like this: “I know we fight sometimes, Kinar. On the one hand, there are lessons to be learned from our quarrels. Once we have had a chance to calm down, I'm even more convinced that I've made the right decision."
Step 4. Use lebay language as humor only
Don't be afraid to be silly in love letters. Plenty of evidence suggests that humor can be considered a sexy quality for both men and women. However, coming up with a humorous opening line is no easy task, and you shouldn't try it if you don't have a knack for humor, as it will only confirm you're not serious. Also, since you're already dating the recipient of the letter, you don't have to worry too much about being "appropriate" or "cute." As long as you're not overly rude or mean (and you have a good sense of humor), you can usually crack a joke without being afraid of giving the wrong impression.
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For example, here's an example of opening a letter with excessive silliness and outright ridiculousness:
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- Even though it was a bone-chilling cold that night, I continued to walk undaunted. The rain is getting heavier. Can I continue? Hopeless. With each step on the wet and muddy ground, I felt more and more frail. My skin started to wrinkle in the icy cold air. I know now that in these dark times, I will die, left to languish alone in the cold mist that will become my grave. But look, what is it? Is it possible? A beam of light descended from the sky! Pearly shimmering light emanated from the most brilliant gleaming figure. Hard to believe. That is… you. You're standing there, the one who will get me out of this gloom, this curse, this curse.
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Step 5. Study the greatest love letters in history written to lovers
Still not working? Do not worry. History is full of hundreds of great love letter writers, each with their own unique style. Below are some examples from the literary world that might inspire you (there are many more letters written by various famous people):
- Katherine Mansfield, writer of the early 21st century, is a great love letter writer and is able to use her literary skills to compose beautiful sentences for her lovers, both male and female (Mansfield is bisexual). Here is a small excerpt from a letter she wrote to her second husband John Murray Mansfield: “You envelop me – the breath I breathe is you, the voice I hear is you, you are in me and of me.”
- If you want to be vulgar (very, very vulgar), the love letters Irish writer James Joyce wrote to his wife Nora Barnacle might be a great source of inspiration. Here's a less controversial snippet of the letter that was written before the two got married: "I feel like a fool to hear you call me 'Honey'. I offended two people today by leaving them in an unfriendly manner. I want to hear your voice, not theirs."
- Not all love letters have to be filled with sweet words, or poetic reflections. The letters written by the Austrian-Hungarian writer Franz Kafka to his lover are often erratic, even bizarre. Here is an excerpt from a letter written to fiancé (but never wife), Felice Bauer: “I wish I could have your answer now! And how cruelly I tortured you, and how I compelled you, in the silence of your room, to read this letter, the most evil letter that has ever been placed on your desk! Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm preying on your lovable name like a ghost!"
Method 3 of 3: Writing to Couples
Step 1. Feel free to start with an explosion, or a whisper
Marriage is a decision that, for most people, means a lifelong commitment. Ideally, people who are married should have such a level of intimacy that there is little that they are uncomfortable talking about. When it comes to love letters, that means almost anything is up for grabs. While you may err on the side of honesty (not, let's say, on irony), there's still plenty of room for your creativity here.
- There is no “right” way to start a love letter to a partner. Only you know what your partner's deepest hopes, dreams, feelings and fears are. So, in this case it's all up to you.
- When in doubt, you can simply be honest about how you feel. Even a simple sentence like, "I love you, that's how I've always felt and that's how I'll always feel" can have the desired effect.
Step 2. Mention something related to your first experience as a couple
One surefire trick to evoke warm feelings of nostalgia in your partner is to bring back memories of the first time the two of you met or dated. This step can almost always bring back fond memories of when you and your partner were younger, more naive, and freer. If written with sincerity, and accompanied by something memorable like this it will make your letter very touching, full of ups and downs that drain tears.
For example, if you were writing a letter to your wife, Tina Efendi, who first met you at the hospital when she was the nurse in charge of taking care of you, on your 20th wedding anniversary, you might start with this: “I still remember that day, 22 years ago, Tina. I woke up on a cream pillow at Carolus Hospital as if I had entered heaven. Is it a dream? Did I survive the accident? Then, I saw you, and at that very moment, I felt grateful to have the opportunity to live more than I ever felt before (or have I felt since)."
Step 3. Write down how your love matures over time
Couples who have been married for years are not the same couple they were when they started dating (or even when they were married). Marriage changes relationships, and often these changes are not for better or for worse, but for different. To enhance the melancholy side of your love letter, you might want to consider emphasizing how your relationship has changed, for example how your feelings for each other have matured, how you've discovered each other's secrets, and so on. As you write them down, reflect on the fact that your love, although different, is not weaker than the love you felt on the first day of your honeymoon.
For example, let's say you're writing to Jim Petra, the husband you've been married to for over a year. You might want to try something like, “Jim, honey. We've only been married for 14 months, but it feels like we've been married for life. The way we talk, the way we hug each other, even the way we look at each other is much smoother, much more intimate than before. However, I have never loved you as much as I do now."
Step 4. Emphasize your eternal adoration
Remember a simple fact: not all marriages last until “death do us part”. However, a love letter to a partner should be written as if that fact is impossible, even ridiculous. While you can talk about the hardships or struggles you have to go through as a couple, don't leave the slightest doubt about the strength of your marriage. Make your love letter a bold statement about how you intend to spend the rest of your life with your partner (and how much you will enjoy it!)
As an excellent example of a positive and affirmative approach that can inspire you, read the following excerpt from the love letter President Woodrow Wilson wrote to Edith Bolling Galt, his second wife: sweetest, and most affectionate I have ever known, and my love, my respect, my admiration for you, you have multiplied in one night, when I thought only the intimacy of a lifetime, a loving relationship could do such a thing."
Tips
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Just slowly.
Set aside time during the day to reflect on what you want to write and focus your attention on the task. Creating a first, second and third draft for the letter can help you.
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Be patient.
If the right word doesn't come right away, don't worry about it. In time, your feelings will be reflected in your writing by continuing to try.
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Be yourself!
Try to keep what you write as personal and original as possible.
Warning
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Don't be weird.
If the person you're writing to says he's not interested, don't bother him any further! While writing how you feel about someone in a thoughtful way can sometimes help, going too far and writing obsessively to that person can turn them away from you.
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You may fail!
Even if you write a love letter with all your heart, sometimes people don't feel the same way. Understand that everything has a silver lining. There will be someone out there who will accept you for who you are! Try not to dwell on what you could have written better because even if you wrote a great love letter, fate might tell you otherwise.
