Whether you want to connect with other people socially, make a good first impression, or build connections for work, finding ways to bond with other people can be a little intimidating at first. However, if you focus on showing that you really care about the person you're talking to, making meaningful conversations, or trying to make the other person feel comfortable, you'll be able to build a relationship with anyone without a hitch.
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Method 1 of 3: Connecting with Others Socially
Step 1. Find common ground
This can seem like a daunting task if you don't know much about the person you're talking to, but finding common ground is easier than you think. Just watch what the person says in casual conversation to see if it leads to something in common, like your favorite sports team, favorite band, or even the fact that you both have 5 siblings. The key here is to really listen to the person to see if you can find something that can help you bond.
- You don't have to ask the person 50 questions to find common ground; let it show itself in the conversation.
- You may think that you and the person you're talking to have nothing in common, but just a thing or two you can talk about can really help you build a relationship. It could be your favorite dark writer, the fact that you both grew up 16 km apart, or the fact that you both speak Japanese. Don't give up if you feel that the two of you are very different, at first.
Step 2. Give the other person sincere compliments
One way to connect with other people socially is to offer sincere compliments. This means you have to find something about them that's really awesome and makes them feel confident without overdoing it. You don't want to sound like a sycophant, but like you really adore him. Just giving one compliment per talk is enough. As long as you avoid complimenting physical attributes or personal things, you won't overdo it. Here are some examples of compliments you can give:
- “You are very good at talking to new people. How do you do it?"
- “The earrings are very unique. Where did you buy it?”
- “I am very impressed with your ability to be a parent and work full time. I wouldn't be able to do that."
- “I watched your tennis match yesterday. You have a great punch!”
Step 3. Talk about what the person mentioned earlier
This is a surefire trick in building relationships with people you already know and care about. If the last time you saw your friend, he was talking about an important upcoming job interview or a guy he really likes, you should talk about it the next time you see him, or even text him asking about it. You want to make the other person feel that you really care about what they have to say and that you remember it even when you're not with them.
- If your friend is talking about something important you both talked about earlier and you say, "Oh yeah, how about that?" it looks like you don't really care.
- Your friends need you to support and care for them, and if you really want to be in a relationship with them, you have to ask about the important things in their life. It can even help you bond with a friend who may be surprised and delighted when you ask him something he said earlier.
Step 4. Make the other person comfortable
Another way to connect with people you already know is to put them at ease. Be open, friendly, compliment them, and make them feel comfortable in your presence. Don't judge what they say, give them a confused look, or act like there's something wrong with the person. Also, don't stand far apart or look like you're not paying attention; make other people feel safe and happy talking to you, and you'll be able to build relationships more easily.
- Try to radiate warm, positive energy and make the other person feel that they can tell you anything and will feel safe. If they feel that you are actually criticizing them or you are going to tell your 5 closest friends about what they are saying, you will not be able to build a relationship with them.
- If one of your friends is having a bad day, a little affection, whether it's a pat on the back or a hand on the arm, can give them some comfort.
Step 5. Be open
If you really want to be in a relationship with other people, you have to be ready to open up and let them see the real you. Some people are incapable of connecting with others because they are too introverted or too afraid to appear weak in front of others. You don't want people to think that you're too secretive, you should try to give some personal information so they see that you're a human being and that they can really build a relationship with you. Here are some things you can talk about:
- Your childhood
- Your relationship with family members
- Past romantic relationship
- Your hope for the future
- Funny thing that happened to you that day
- Past disappointment
Step 6. Say thank you to the other person
Another way to connect with other people is to take the time to truly say thank you. It makes them feel valued, feel that you care, and like you realize that they are useful in your life. Make sure the other person feels valued and is honest and open about what they mean to you. Even if you're just saying thank you to a coworker for giving you helpful advice or thanking the neighbors for looking after your cat, making an effort to really show thanks can really help you build relationships with other people.
- Don't just say "thank you!" or send a text message saying thank you. Look the person in the eye, say “thank you,” and explain why what the person did really means a lot to you.
- Research also shows that saying thank you to someone else will make you feel happier and will make both of you more likely to help others in the future. Everyone wins!
Step 7. Try to continue your relationship
As obvious as this sounds, a lot of people aren't able to truly be in a relationship with another person because they don't continue a relationship with them, even though they really like that person. This could be due to being lazy, shy, or feeling too busy to hang out with a lot of people. But if you really want to be in a relationship with someone else, you have to be willing to chat for more than half an hour.
- If you feel like you're actually in a relationship with someone, take the person out together, such as having a drink or coffee.
- Don't disappoint. If someone else invites you somewhere, you should keep your word or have a good reason if you don't. If you have a reputation for disappointing you often, other people won't want to hang out with you.
- While it's important to get some alone time, if you never go out, you won't be able to build your relationship. Try to socialize at least 2-3 days a week, even if it's just lunch with someone.
Step 8. Be present
If you really want to be in a relationship with another person, you have to be present in the conversation. If you think about what you're going to eat for dinner or who you're going to talk to next, the person you're talking to will know and won't like you for it anymore. Try to make eye contact, really listen to what the person is saying, avoid your cell phone or passersby, and let the person see that you are only focused on the moment.
Trying to be completely present in the conversation will make you more able to enjoy the moment and will make you a better conversationalist. You won't make a good impression if you're so worried about an upcoming interview that you can't say anything worth repeating
Method 2 of 3: Establishing a Direct Relationship with Others
Step 1. Smile and make eye contact
If you want to be in a relationship with someone right away, smiling and making eye contact, which go hand in hand, is key as you introduce yourself and start a conversation. Research shows that smiling is contagious, and your smile will make the person more likely to smile and open up to you. Continuous eye contact will make the person feel that you really care about what he or she has to say and will make him more likely to like you.
- While you can break eye contact from time to time to keep the conversation from getting too intense, you don't want the person to feel like you're thinking about something else.
- You can practice smiling at other people when you pass them so you can radiate positive energy more often.
Step 2. Use the person's name
Using someone's name can make that person feel important - or at least important enough that you remember the name. Simply saying something like "I'm so happy to meet you, Amy," at the end of the conversation can really make the person feel more connected to you. Nothing makes someone feel more unimportant than saying, "Again, what's your name?" or “I can never seem to remember your name…” and if you really want to be in a relationship with someone else, you must not only remember their name, but use it.
Don't use the fact that you have a very bad memory as an excuse. If you really want to get into a relationship with another person right away, you have to really make an effort to remember their name
Step 3. Have open body language
Your body language will make you appear kinder and more open, which will instantly make other people like you. If you want a new person to connect with you right away, you should turn your body towards that person, stand up straight, avoid fidgeting and crossing your arms, and direct your energies toward that person without overdoing it.
If you turn your body against the person, cross your arms across your chest, or bend over, the person will feel that you are not interested in what he or she is saying
Step 4. Don't underestimate the value of small talk
You may feel small talk is meaningless and only for people who want to be in a relationship that is not deep, but good small talk actually allows you to establish real relationships and lead to deeper relationships with other people. When you start a relationship with someone you know, you don't immediately talk about the meaning of life or how your life was affected by your grandmother's death; Initially you enter a more serious relationship by talking about light topics and getting to know each other little by little. Here are some tips for starting small chats:
- Use simple topics to move on to more in-depth conversations. You can casually comment that the weather is perfect on the weekends and ask the other person if he or she is doing anything fun to take advantage of the weather.
- Ask open-ended questions, not ones that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” to keep the conversation going.
- Pay attention to your surroundings. If you see a flyer for a cool concert on campus, you can ask the person if he or she will be attending or what he thinks of the band.
- Keep the conversation light. You don't want to make someone uncomfortable by talking about dark or intense topics too early.
Step 5. Make the person feel special as quickly as possible
While you don't need to offer endless compliments, simply making small comments that let the person see that you find them impressive or interesting in some way will help you build a relationship with someone new. Finally, everyone wants to feel special. Here are some casual comments you can make to instantly make the person feel special.
- “I am very impressed that you wrote the whole novel. I can't imagine doing that."
- "It's amazing that you can speak three languages."
- “I feel like we've met before. It's very easy to talk to you."
- “You have a very unique laugh. Your laughter is contagious."
Step 6. Ask questions
Another way to get people to like you right away is to focus on being interested instead of being attractive. While you can try to impress the person by being really awesome or entertaining, it's easier to show interest in the person and show that you really care about who they really are and what they can bring to the world. While you don't need to make it look like an interrogation, just a few questions asked at the right time can make the person more likely to have a relationship with you. Here are some things you can ask:
- The person's hobbies or interests
- The person's favorite band
- The person's favorite activity in the city
- The person's pet
- That person's weekend plans
Step 7. Create a positive atmosphere
Humans prefer to be happy than sad; it makes sense that other people are more likely to be in a relationship with you and want to spend time with you if you create a positive atmosphere and try to talk about things that make you happy. While everyone likes to complain, you should focus on being positive and complain less if you know the person, if you really need to. You want to expend positive energy that makes other people feel positive around you; this will make it much easier for you to relate to other people than it is to always be sad or angry.
- If you accidentally leave a negative comment, try to reply with two positive comments so that other people still see you as a positive person.
- This doesn't mean you have to completely change your personality or pretend. It just means that you should focus on the good things in your life when meeting new people if you want them to remember you positively.
Step 8. Show that you are listening
Taking the time to really listen to the other person can be one of the best ways to get them to instantly connect with you. When a new person talks to you, make sure you really hear what he or she is saying instead of interrupting or waiting for your turn to speak; after the person has finished speaking, respond in a way that shows that you really took what he or she said. This will make the person feel more connected to you.
If you mention something the person has said at the beginning of the conversation, the person will feel really impressed. Most people feel like they're not being listened to enough by others, and if you can show that you're really listening, you'll make a really good impression
Method 3 of 3: Connecting with Others for Work
Step 1. Lean on your existing connection first
You might not think you know someone who could help your career, but you'd be surprised how many people you know know other people. If you are looking for a new job or want to take your career in another direction, ask people you know for help to see who they know; You can even email your friends explaining what type of position you are looking for along with your qualifications, and see who can help you.
Don't think that using your connections instead of getting a job "on your own" means you're insulting or cheating the system. You are just playing the game and not being played. Research has proven that 70-80% of jobs are networked, so don't be afraid to take this first step. Finally, it's less likely that someone will hire you because of networking alone, and you still have to prove yourself
Step 2. Prepare your delivery
If you want to be able to connect with anyone to get a job, you have to know how to sell yourself - and fast. You may only have a minute or two to meet someone who can help you find a job, and while you're at it, you have to make yourself stand out. You can't just talk about the weather, but make the person remember you and see you as someone they want to help.
- Whether you're selling yourself or selling a product, the most important thing is to have a strong opening sentence that shows why you're a candidate that employers can't miss, or why your product is something worth investing in.
- Make sure to keep it brief and empowered and then end by giving the person your business card and saying you'll be waiting for him to call you. Of course, you should make sure that the person is interested in you or your product.
Step 3. Find ways to help the person
Another way to get connections for work is to find ways to help the person. You might have to get a little creative and find something you can do that has nothing to do with your career; for example, if you know the person is writing a resume, you can offer to review it because of your writing background; If you know the person is looking for a location for their child's wedding, let them know that your aunt can provide an amazing location at a discount.
Don't think that you have nothing that can benefit the world. Even if you're trying to network, you still have many skills and abilities that can benefit others in many ways
Step 4. Don't give up
You may think that being stubborn is not liked by others and, if a manager or business connection is genuinely interested in you, that person will make it clear. However, you will be surprised by how often someone is approached by other people; make yourself stand out by making that extra phone call, connecting with the person at a business or social event, or sending a follow-up email. While you don't want to be intrusive, you also don't want to give up too soon.
Think about it: the worst thing that can happen is that you keep trying to get the person's attention and they don't reciprocate. You're still in the starting position so that doesn't make things worse, does it?
Step 5. Impress yourself
Another way to network is to make sure that you are memorable in their memory. You have to find a way to be remembered, even if it's just a small detail, like the fact that you speak fluent Japanese, or that you and the people you meet are both obsessed with the Russian writer, Sergei Dovlatov. You have to find a way or two to really stand out from people so you can remind them of who you will be when you try to get back to them.
- If you find a way to stand out, you can say something simple in a follow-up email like, “We met at Business 101. I'm so excited to meet other people who love Sergei Dovlatov as much as I do!”
- Of course, this doesn't mean you have to go overboard and try so hard to stand out that it looks annoying. You don't have to make a lime green CV or do a dance to be remembered - unless you want to be remembered in a bad way.
Step 6. Connect with people close to them
Another way to connect with more people when you're looking to network is to connect with people who are close to the people you want to meet. Check LinkedIn for similar connections, or even ask people you know to connect you with people who know other people. Don't be shy and try to have a wider network.
You never know who will be of use to you, so make sure you are friendly, kind, and friendly to everyone around you
Step 7. Make it easy for other people to reach you
If you want to connect with other people for work, you have to make it easy for them to reach you. You should have a business card with you at all times, have an easy-to-reach cell phone, and even promote yourself with a website or blog. If someone has heard of you, for example, you want them to easily find you by just Google; You don't want to reduce your network just because you don't have a personal website.
