Anger is a normal emotion when interacting with other people, but when things heat up, angry people can suddenly throw a tantrum. If you frequently interact with friends, family members, or partners who have difficulty controlling your emotions, you may become the target of anger. Before doing anything to respond to it, make sure you are able to control your emotions because the problem gets worse when you get angry too. Then, give the right response so that he calms down again. Try to help him by suggesting that he undergo therapy to control his emotions. You should also take care of your mental health because regular interactions with angry friends or loved ones can trigger stress.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Angry People
Step 1. Control your emotions so that you stay calm in the face of a heated situation
If someone is angry with you, the best way to deal with it is to keep yourself from getting angry, for example by taking a few deep breaths, silently counting to 100, or splashing water on your face to calm your mind. Things get worse when you are mean to him.
Step 2. Speak in a calm, even tone of voice
Turn the volume down so it's a little louder than the whisper. Don't shout too much so you can stay calm and communicate politely. Also, an angry person may turn down the volume and be polite to you.
Step 3. Focus on listening to him speak
Many people become angry because they feel neglected. Pay attention to letting her anger subside by turning your face to her and listening to her words without interrupting.
You can lighten the mood by being a good listener. Try to find out why he is angry
Step 4. Be nice to him
He may be angry because he feels that no one is paying attention or understanding him. Show him empathy so he knows that you understand his feelings and value his opinion.
Use reflection techniques to show that you understand what he's saying. For example, say to him, "I understand why you're angry with the cashier who talks rudely." or "I think I know the source of the problem. Maybe you feel neglected."
Step 5. Set clear boundaries
While speaking calmly and politely, ask the angry person to respect you. For example, tell him, "I'd better go if you're still screaming." or "I don't want to talk anymore if you keep yelling at me."
If he already knows what you want, prove that you are consistent if he ignores the boundaries you set
Step 6. Use the word "I/I" in discussions
This step helps you express your opinion without judging the other person so he doesn't feel criticized or blamed. This way, you can express your thoughts and feelings regarding this issue without putting the other person at risk.
For example, instead of saying, "You're always yelling at me!", say how you feel and expect, "I'm afraid the neighbors will hear you yelling. How about we talk quietly?"
Step 7. Don't give advice if it's not asked for
People who are angry often feel criticized when advised. You simply listen actively to what he has to say, instead of telling him what to do. If you want to make sure what he needs, whether it's just to vent or ask for advice, ask after he's finished talking.
- For example, ask before giving advice, "I have a question. Do you just want to vent or need advice?" For another example, say to him, "I understand why you are angry. How can I help you?"
- If he doesn't ask for an opinion, don't give advice or advice. Wait until he calms down again.
Step 8. Stop the conversation, then say goodbye if necessary
If you feel pressured or overwhelmed when talking to an angry person, it's best to say goodbye. Tell him, "We can't brainstorm when we fight. I need to get some fresh air outside. We'll continue our discussion in 10 minutes. OK?" Find a quiet place to be alone while controlling your emotions.
When you're alone, listen to relaxing music, watch comedy videos on YouTube, or have a phone conversation with someone who can help you calm down
Method 2 of 3: Giving Suggestions to Help Him
Step 1. Focus on the problem at hand, not on the person
Invite him to talk to explain the impact you have when he gets angry, but don't accuse him of being the cause of the problem. This step shows that you care about him so he's willing to take your advice.
- For example, "I noticed you've been angry a lot lately. We don't talk much. I feel calm if you want to discuss to find a solution."
- Determine why he is angry by finding out the triggers. For example, if he often gets angry when rumors spread about his personal life, chances are he is very private.
- If you already know why he's angry, help out by suggesting ways to prevent other people from gossiping about him. For example, if he wants to maintain privacy and prevent rumors at work, remind him not to share personal information with coworkers.
Step 2. Know the intensity of the anger
Usually, hotheads don't get angry right away. Anger starts from annoyance that escalates to frustration, anger, then rage. Try to figure out the signs when someone is upset so you can lighten the mood so they don't get angry.
If he immediately gets angry or throws a tantrum without seeming irritated or frustrated, it's a good idea to see a professional counselor to find out the triggers and learn how to defuse the anger
Step 3. Offer to be with her when she meets the counselor
Instead of simply suggesting that he seek help, let him know that you are willing to find a counselor or anger management course. Offer to help him see a counselor and accompany him while he waits his turn if he doesn't mind.
Step 4. Be tactful
It's not helping you if you keep complaining about being annoyed by an angry person. Arguing is not the way to solve problems. Make sure you stay patient while interacting with him. Be assertive if he violates the boundaries you set.
Also, find an appropriate time to talk to him to discuss the matter. Invite him to discuss if he is calm, not busy, and in a good mood
Step 5. Provide information on how to reduce stress
People who experience stress tend to get angry more quickly because stress triggers anger. If he is able to relieve stress, he will need more time until his anger is ignited. That way, you can help him calm down because he's still able to detect the early signs of anger.
He can relieve stress by meditating, practicing yoga, exercising, practicing breathing, and so on
Step 6. Be patient
Interacting with people who are quick to anger is like waltzing because you need to step back more than you do. Deal with an angry person patiently until he admits that he can't control his emotions.
Method 3 of 3: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Share your problem with a trusted friend
Giving support to someone who is easily angered is quite a drain on energy. Make sure you have the support of close friends and family members. Ask them to listen when you talk about the problem or distract them if you don't want to talk about it.
Don't gossip about people who are hot-tempered or talk about their nature. Instead, think about steps you need to take to deal with stress
Step 2. Spend time with happy people
You can become grumpy if you are around angry people because humans tend to imitate the behavior of those around them. Make sure you socialize with intellectual people who are happy and optimistic.
Step 3. Set aside time for self-care
Living everyday with an angry person makes you stressed and anxious. To overcome this, take time to take care of yourself regularly, for example enjoying massage therapy, listening to your favorite music, soaking in warm water, or practicing yoga to relax yourself.
If you want to be supportive of him, that's fine, but don't ignore yourself. Take time to enjoy me time several times a week by doing fun activities to maintain mental health
Step 4. Attend a supportive group meeting to control anger
Another way to get help is to find people who understand your problem. To do this, look for information about support groups in your city or on the internet.
It's a relief to hear other people share the same experience. In addition, he can provide advice that will help you solve the problem
Step 5. Seek help if anger is followed by violence
If he abuses, this means your support is not appreciated. Anger is not an excuse to hurt other people. Right now, you have to protect yourself. It's best if you distance yourself or cut ties. Tell what happened by calling a close friend, family member, or emergency services.
- If your partner or someone close to you commits violence, immediately contact the police or security personnel.
- Children who are afraid of living with an abusive adult should seek refuge by telling the school counselor or a supportive adult.
