Have you ever wanted to run away from home? There are many reasons why young people might want to run away from home – some have good reasons, and some not so good. Perhaps the most important thing for young people to understand is that running away from home is much more difficult, and less expensive than you might think. Sometimes the nights are so cold and you can't sleep; there is danger and hunger; there is a feeling of being lost and not knowing where to go. However, there may be a valid reason why you might want to run away from home. Read this article to help you weigh the consequences, and know how to get started if you ultimately decide to do this.
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Method 1 of 4: Considering the Good and the Bad
Step 1. Think about what actions you might take
Why do you want to run away? Is there a really plausible reason, or are you just bored with your current situation? There's a difference between running away for a good reason (say you're in physical danger) and running away for a bad reason (you had a small fight with your parents). Don't make rash decisions when you're angry; You may regret it later.
Step 2. Think of the people your actions might affect
Humans are social creatures. We are together not only out of necessity, but also because we feel happy when we are close to each other. Just think of the people who will be most affected by your decision. You are indebted to them. Maybe you don't know it, but they think of you all the time.
- Think of your parents. Even if you don't always see it, your parents love you very much. They see themselves in you, and they want a better future for you than they do themselves. Quarrels and disagreements are common with parents, but their love for you will never change.
- Think of other family members. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents – they all have a relationship that goes deeper than just friends. It's very likely that your family will feel hurt and responsible for your departure, even though they know absolutely nothing about this.
- Think of your friends. Friends are an integral part of your social circle. They laugh with you, cheer you up when you're sad, and sometimes they think of you as a sibling. Running away from home could mean abandoning them.
- Think of your mentor. This could be a teacher, or a friend of your mother's. Many of us have a mentor who looks after us. They want us to stay safe and successful. Your decision will definitely have an effect on them.
Step 3. Be aware that in most cases running away from home is illegal
While most states will not penalize a minor (under 18) for running away from home, some states in the US consider it illegal. In Georgia, Idaho, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, and Wyoming, running away from home is a status offense, meaning it's against the law if you're under 18.
- However, if your parents or guardians try to harm you, you do have to run away and this is perfectly legal…. but you have to do it the right way. Tell a teacher or other trusted adult or call the police. Make sure you have a place to stay for a night or two before doing so so you don't have to spend the night in an unfamiliar place.
- You may worry that your foster parents will be worse off than your real parents, even if they hurt you, but you should take the risk. You can even stay with other family members or friends if you plan ahead.
- Even if you run away in a state that doesn't have any laws against this act, you can still be taken to court. More than 30 US states consider runaway children to be "Child in Need of Supervision" or CHINS, a process aimed at helping children live better lives. However, minors who are in the CHINS process can be subject to fines, restrictions on rights and have to undergo drug testing.
Step 4. If possible, think about the reasons why you want to run away
There are many reasons why a child might want to run away. Thinking of excuses can help you work things out before things get so bad that you feel compelled to run away. Here are some statistics:
- 47% of runaway children described having a major problem with one or both parents. Are there other adults who can give you advice on how to resolve issues with your parents? If not, contact KPAI (Indonesian Child Protection Commission).
- More than 50% of runaway children said their parents kicked them out or knew they were going to run away but didn't care. If your parents kick you out or don't care if you run away, call or visit KPAI. This is not betrayal of parents if you are looking for someone who cares about you. You do deserve it.
- 80% of girls who run away and are homeless experience physical and sexual violence. If you have been the victim of physical or sexual violence, find an adult you can trust (perhaps your parents, maybe someone else) and come to the police station to report this.
Step 5. Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of running away from home
Often times, writing down your thoughts on paper can have a calming effect, making things clearer. Here are some of the advantages and disadvantages of running away from home.
- Profit:
- Free from neglect, violence (verbal, physical or sexual) and/or harassment
- Opportunity to travel, see new places and meet new people
- It's freer and allows you to be more mature, no matter how hard you get.
- Forming independence, fostering a sense of being able to do everything yourself.
- Loss:
- Increases the likelihood that you will spend the night outside, on the street, under bridges or overhangs, or even on rooftops
- Increases the likelihood of developing feelings of depression, isolation and weakness (32% of runaway children have attempted suicide at some point in their lives.)
- Increases the possibility of violence, drugs, disease and prostitution on the streets.
- Feeling like you have no one to talk to, feeling like no one cares about you or the things you do are not making a difference.
Step 6. Let your emotions cool down for a week before making any big decisions
Often times, we let our emotions make up our minds when we think we are rational enough. This can be a good thing, but sometimes it is a bad thing, because we lie to ourselves that we are thinking rationally. Defuse your emotions and use your time to think about options that might change your life, wait a week before doing anything. After a week, your rational brain will probably have time to make a decision.
Method 2 of 4: Getting Started
Step 1. Make a plan
Think about what you would do if some of the plans didn't work out, and the reasons you could use to apologize. Here are some things you need to consider:
- What would you do if you were sick?
- What will you do if you get caught?
- What will you eat?
- How will you keep your body clean?
- How can you avoid the streets and dangers.
Step 2. Try to find a safe place to live with someone you can trust
If you know someone who helped you escape, and can stay with them at least for a while, that's a good thing. However, if this is not possible, where will you look for a place to live?
Step 3. Bring a bag of essentials
Don't carry too much stuff; bring the really important stuff. Now is not the time to break the record for heaviest luggage. Bring food, money, a change of clothes, a jacket in case it's cold, clothes with pockets, a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, and anything else you'll need. If you don't want to be recognized, bring the clothes you wear the least. A few things you might find useful for your trip:
- Folding knife
- Map
- Umbrella
- Padlock key
- Blanket
Step 4. Bring money, but not too much so you don't get caught
Maybe IDR 100,000 to pay for the bus or other transportation, and IDR 500 thousand just in case. If you want to steal money, find a place where you can get it quickly without being seen by your parents.
If you have a credit card, you should take it with you, because credit cards are more difficult to steal and use, and you can cancel them at any time. But be prepared for your parents to cancel when they find out you've run away. Do not use it as the sole source of funds. Also, using a credit/debit card can reveal the whereabouts of your hideout. Banks can track your card, and see what stores you've been to. It's the same with cell phones; they can track your location. You have to be aware of this, and use both wisely
Step 5. Wait until you really get a good chance to escape
Make sure you have plenty of time to escape before anyone notices you're gone. Try implementing the plan when you go to school in the morning, or as soon as everyone has left the house and you know they won't be back for a long time. When you do it, do it quietly. You certainly don't want the people around you to know that you are going to run away from home.
Step 6. Find the right mode of transportation
You'll want to be able to explore cities quickly and easily. City buses are the best option, or long-distance buses if you want to leave the city.
Method 3 of 4: Long Term Strategy for Survival
Step 1. Make up a fake story
You have to realize that at some point, someone will want to know where you come from and what you do. You may have to think about this. Think of something reasonable and realistic, but don't say you ran away from home.
- Keep it simple. You have to remember it wherever you are because news spreads quickly in this world, so it's a good idea to tell the same thing during your run to avoid suspicion. Avoid inconsistent stories by first thinking through the details carefully.
- If you really want to run away permanently, change your name. Find a name that you like, but don't go for a name that's too weird. Think about it, a generic name is the best choice as it will be more difficult to remember, and your main goal is not to be too well known.
Step 2. Find a place to live near a convenience store or candy store
These places usually have food samples for the public to eat, but make sure you bring a shopping cart and try to look like you're actually shopping. You can also use a public bathroom to shower and pee.
This may not be a luxury, but you can find food in the trash can behind the convenience store. You'd be surprised at what people throw away. The more often you do this, the more your body will get used to the slightly stale food. At first, you may not be comfortable with this, but over time you will get used to it
Step 3. Find a shelter
If you do not have a place to live, you will have to find shelter elsewhere. Look for a fairly safe place under a bridge, in a small alcove, an unused building, or maybe in a public place that is open 24 hours. If this doesn't work, find the nearest homeless shelter, and check to see if there's room for you.
- If you just need a place to spend time, you can choose public libraries, churches, campus buildings, airports and train stations. These places are safe, and there are usually so many people walking around that you don't get noticed.
- In winter, you might be able to find a building with an elevator if you're in the city center. Try climbing the stairs next to the elevator that leads up. You may be able to find a comfortable, warm room, one that not too many people visit.
- Stay away from forests or deserts. These places are usually inland and increase your chances of becoming a victim of crime. As beautiful as it sounds, it's very difficult to live in the interior at this point, especially if you know nothing about plant and animal species. Look for a place where a lot of people go, because it's usually safer.
Step 4. At some point you may need money, so learn to beg
Begging is asking other people for money. It's not very prestigious, and many people will just ignore you, but with the right strategy, you can be successful and even earn enough money to save.
- Choose the right location. Look for crowded places where lots of people walk, such as outside malls, convenience stores, or places where people walk around with change. Ask for money after people leave the store, not before entering the store. Or, you can also beg at busy crossroads. Make sure you are on the right side of the car, where the driver is.
- Smile, and ask politely and gently. You won't make much money if you seem angry or frustrated or unhappy. If someone gives you money, express your gratitude with a smile and a friendly greeting.
Step 5. Don't pretend to use a foreign accent
Some people may find it useful to pretend to use a foreign accent, but it's usually a bad idea. Foreign accents attract people's attention. People will want to know more about you and your culture, when you should avoid people's attention as much as possible. Besides, faking an accent was extremely difficult; even if you think that your foreign accent is very good, because not necessarily other people will give the same assessment.
Step 6. Take care of yourself
This is the most difficult part, especially maintaining a healthy diet and hygiene. Hospitals are known for providing exceptionally clean toilets, and offering good privacy. Here are some other tips you can use to keep your hygiene high, even if your morale is low:
- Use the bathroom in a large department store. These bathrooms don't offer much privacy, but usually very few people go there. (Think about it: how often do you use the bathroom at the convenience store?) You can shower here and use the free soap provided.
- Use sexual lubricant to shave or straighten hair. This may sound strange, but it is useful. Apply a small amount of lubricant on your skin and smooth it out with water. Shave, and wash your razors carefully. If you want to straighten or soften your hair in the morning, you just need a little lube, and your hair won't look messy after that.
- Take a bath in public swimming pools, as well as in universities. If you pretend to be a student there, often the staff won't ask you to show your ID. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a try, especially if you can act like you're a student there.
Step 7. Decide what you will do if you run out of food
Make a plan, and if you have no other choice, consider going home, or if you really want to run away, try to start a new life. Find work, shelter (even if it's a bad place, because what you need is protection from the weather), and make new friends in a new city.
Step 8. Control your despair well
If you are unlucky and aimless, you will start to feel hopeless. Try to control those emotions instead of letting them push you into reckless things. Eat something, even if it means spending the rest of the money you have. Take a deep breath, even if it feels like a waste of time. Think of the past when you felt strong and resourceful, ready to conquer the world. Control your despair by controlling your attitude. There is no problem that cannot be solved with a little imagination and courage.
Method 4 of 4: Keeping Yourself from Danger
Step 1. Avoid riding in a vehicle
Remember, if you decide to hitch a ride, there are drivers who want to be mean to you. They can abandon you or even injure you. However, on the other hand, there are also nice people who will be happy to give you a lift. What you need is the ability to read the driver's personality and make the right decisions.
- Try hitching a ride in a friendly woman, a family with several children, or a car with several passengers. They'll probably ask you where you're going, or what your job is, so be prepared to lie a little. Don't tell them you ran away from home, and don't talk to them too much.
- If someone with a suspicious or creepy appearance offers you a ride, ask them where they're going first. When they answer, say that you are going to a different place, a very faraway place if possible. If they say they will give you a ride there, politely decline and stop the conversation after that. Wait for them to leave.
Step 2. Protect yourself
If you're in a big city with lots of people, be aware that there's a good chance that someone could put you in danger. Bring something you can use to protect yourself, such as pepper spray. However, being on the lookout for danger and avoiding it is usually better than confronting it.
Stay away from people who can harm you. Stand up straight, and stay calm, but don't argue or upset them. Try to go to a well-lit public place where there are a lot of people. Find a place where a lot of people visit
Step 3. Don't fall into prostitution
Don't let other people do what you don't want and if you're really desperate and feel like you have to do this, ask for help. Charities and churches will help you without asking too many questions.
- Children who run away from home often fall into prostitution. A 1998 study showed that 43% of children who ran away from home, both boys and girls, resorted to prostitution after leaving home. That number is almost half.
- Due to the high probability of prostitution and also due to poor sanitary conditions, children who run away from home are much more vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. You have to be very careful.
Step 4. Avoid drugs and alcohol
Young homeless people are much more susceptible to drugs and alcohol. This can lead to illnesses such as HIV/AIDS or even death from overdose. This is only a small part of the other side effects of drug and/or alcohol use. Be careful and don't use drugs, no matter how bad your condition is.
Step 5. Try not to get caught
Homeless people are more likely to be arrested, usually for harassing, wandering around or entering a place without permission. You certainly don't want to spend time in prison, so be careful where you go and how you look and behave.
Step 6. Be careful around other homeless people
Many people are homeless simply because they are going through a tough time and these people are probably very nice people. Yet there are many homeless people who are extremely hopeless or mentally unstable. In the US, where mental health care is woefully inadequate, many mentally ill people end up roaming the streets. These people can be dangerous and can attack you for no reason. Avoid being around other homeless people to keep you safe.
Tips
- Don't tell your friends that you ran away. They can tell your parents. Unless they are loyal and will help you to escape.
- Try not to wear anything that makes you recognizable. For example, if you always wear a Bears hat, don't wear it!
- If you carry things in your backpack, you will look like a normal kid going to school in the eyes of an adult.
- If you start to run out of food, head to the supermarket and head down an aisle CREDITLY. Grab some food and eat it in the bathroom. Discard all boxes and packaging. Then go unnoticed by others; if you can go with a group of people. Never go to the same store twice, because the staff will recognize you.
- Be polite, but don't be too friendly with anyone as they may want to get to know you better.
- But if you decide to run away forever, maybe you should try to change who you are. Think of this as a "new start". Changing the name is a great start. A new haircut and make-up will make you different from the old one. Also try wearing new clothes.
- Wear a hat or something that can properly cover your head/face when traveling by train as CCTV footage at local train stations will be checked.
- On the other hand, don't stay in a place where your parents or the police can find you. The homes of girlfriends, family members and close friends are the first places they will check.
- This should be obvious, but avoid places where you can be seen by someone who knows you and then report you to the police. Therefore, you should go away from home.
- Bring something you can work on if you decide to run away. You may feel bored.
- Live somewhere that you think your parents or authorities are less likely to find, such as a place of trusted acquaintances or friends that your family doesn't know about.
- This is very important thing, don't update your social media! Don't add new friends to your old account. Leave it alone, but don't delete it just in case. Create a new account with a fake name if necessary, but remember that this is very risky!
- You can use public bathrooms at malls or shops, and you can take care of your personal hygiene at a public pool or locker room at the gym.
- Leave a message to let your parents know you weren't kidnapped. But don't give too much information!
- Maybe you want to move between friends' houses. Start in a house that no one will look for, then after a while, or when someone reports you, get out of there and live with someone else. However, you will need a floor plan for each house you live in to determine the best route if you have to escape in an emergency. You should also make sure that you do NOT leave anything out that could lead to the authorities.
- If you have the ability to live in the wild, you can try making a tent and living in it for a while. However this is not a good permanent solution.
- If you are found, be honest about the reason why you left.
- You can take only one set of clothes and only run away for one night. Your parents will understand what you mean and you will be out of harm's way if you run away for good.
- Running away isn't usually the answer, but it's safer to stay at a friend's house than to sleep on the streets.
- Remember that, even if you become a successful person on your run, you will eventually be inclined to go home.
- Avoid places you might like to spend time. Restaurants or gaming venues that you enjoy are places that will be inspected by the authorities.
- Always be on the lookout! Even if you don't know it, people may recognize your face if you've been away for a long time. Stay alert, try and find a group of friends and other people who have also run away from home. It sounds impossible, but there are unknown empty buildings all around you. Be warned, not everything is a safe place.
- Don't bring a lot of clothes, maybe just a pair. If you bring a few pairs of clothes, they can figure out what you're going to wear and track your whereabouts.
- Don't forget to bring food or drinking water!
Warning
- Use common sense. By running away from home, you run the risk of being caught, robbed, raped or killed. This can make you regret for life.
- Don't take your cell phone (unless you can change your number or SIM card), debit or credit card, as they can be used to track your location. If you need to call someone, borrow someone else's cell phone or use a pay phone. If you need to buy something, always use cash.
- Be prepared to run out of food and money, as this is bound to happen, and you may want to take advantage of food samples at convenience stores, public bathrooms and mattresses at the mattress store, if possible.
- Be careful if you hide in someone else's house, as the homeowner can be accused of protecting the fugitive.
- Think about this seriously. Don't run away just for fun.
- Don't run away just because things are bad at home right now. Think carefully, if conditions at home can improve over time, there's no reason to run away. If the condition doesn't improve, do what you think is best.
- Bring something that matches your skills so you can get a job.
- Leaving a family that loves you is the hardest part, so make sure that you (if you want to run away anyway) do it for the right reasons and not just because you want attention.
- Lastly, running away from home can be sadder for your parents and family than you think.
- If you are being punished and you feel this is unfair, just think about what you have done and how many times you have done it. Also remember the good times you spent with your family. Maybe you will forgive them and cancel the intention to run away.
