Escape is a last resort that should only be taken in the worst situation. Usually, running away will only make any problems you run into worse. In addition, you will find it difficult to find a place to live. Make sure you've tried the various options available before deciding to run away, and if this is the only option you can make, make sure you don't make a rash decision. Your safety should always be your top priority. Remember to take things into account as you read this article.
If you decide to run away or have run away and need to talk to someone, try calling the Ministry of Social Affairs Call Center at 1500771, the Indonesian Child Protection Commission (KPAI) at 021-39101556, or the Ministry of Women and Child Protection Empowerment at 021-3805563.
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Method 1 of 3: Assessing the Situation
Step 1. Find a good reason to run away
Don't run away just for fun, adventure, or to teach your parents a lesson. Life on the streets is tough, and nature doesn't give you a warm place when you're cold, or food when you're hungry. If you are being abused or neglected by your parents, the safest solution for you is to contact a specific party (eg the Indonesian Child Protection Commission or the police) before trying to run away from home.
Some youths, especially those from troubled families, feel that living in a youth or homeless shelter is actually worse than running away. No matter what conditions you experience, most shelters actually really care about the health and condition of the children in the shelters
Step 2. Don't hold wrong perceptions
Running away from home is difficult. You will be away from places you know, as well as people who know and support you. In addition, you will also be fully responsible for your basic needs. In fact, adults themselves desperately face life. Therefore, do not feel that your condition will be different from what other adults face.
- You may feel that running away is the only solution, but this mindset will never be accurate. There are always multiple solutions to every problem, and running away from home should be the last solution you can take.
- As a teenager, it will be difficult for you to make money to buy food and pay for housing. Unfortunately, for this reason, about 1 in 3 teens in the United States who run away sell themselves in order to find food and shelter. Such a choice risks triggering problems such as transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, violence and/or sexual manipulation.
Step 3. Reconsider your reasons for running away
You may feel that the reasons for running away are enough to justify your decision to run away. However, when you have strong feelings about something (especially negative ones), it can sometimes be difficult for you to think clearly. Take some time to think carefully about your reasons for running away. Also, look at the problem you are facing from as many different points of view as possible. Make sure you don't make rash decisions.
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Running away is not appropriate because of additional problems that may arise, such as:
- Consumption of alcoholic beverages
- Use of illegal drugs
- There is a feeling of failure in life
Step 4. Get advice from others
As a teenager, there are a number of service numbers you can call when faced with a difficult situation, and these services are already staffed and prepared to listen to issues and provide advice specifically for you. By calling the service number, maybe you can get a solution that you have not thought of before (other than running away). In addition, by talking to someone, you can think of these solutions.
- You can contact the emergency services at 112, the Ministry of Social Affairs Call Center at 1500771, the Indonesian Child Protection Commission (KPAI) at 021-39101556, or the Ministry of Women and Child Protection Empowerment at 021-3805563. Apart from telephone, you can also submit a complaint form or ask for advice on the Indonesian Child Protection Commission website:
- Remember that no matter how difficult the situation you are in or how lonely you are, there are always people who really care about your safety and well-being.
Step 5. Be aware of the shape or impact of the problem you are facing
While you can get away from the problem at hand by running away, you won't be able to solve it (or forget the treatment you were previously treated). In reality, when you run away, you can actually make other people affected by the problems you are facing.
Method 2 of 3: Preparing to Go
Step 1. Make a plan from the start
Running away without proper preparation can actually endanger your safety. Take as much time as possible to prepare your plan. The destination, the transportation to be used, the work to be done, and where to live are important things that you need to consider. Collect gear from the start. Some of the equipment that you must prepare, including:
- Cash
- Small money (to pay for laundry fees, etc.)
- First aid kit
- Jacket/coat
- sleeping bag
- Sock
- Change of clothes (2 pairs)
- Change of underwear (2 pieces)
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Bandage
- Comb
- Drinking bottles
- Non-perishable foods (e.g. granola snacks, canned goods, etc.)
- Chili spray (or other personal protective equipment)
- Deodorant
Step 2. Don't carry too much stuff
Heavy luggage will make it difficult for you when you have to leave quickly. As a (runaway) teenager, know that there are plenty of other homeless people who are bigger and stronger than you, and if you have to escape, you have to do it quickly without being bothered by heavy baggage. Make sure you only bring what you need. Bring as much money as you need. However, be careful if you want to use a debit or credit card because your whereabouts can be traced through using the card. In addition, pack items that suit your purpose. If you want to go somewhere cold, think of things that can protect your body from the cold.
Keep in mind that dry climates, such as in deserts, are usually very cold at night. Therefore, a lightweight thermal blanket can keep you warm in this weather
Step 3. Try going to a safe location
Escape to the forest, park, or nature reserve is not the right choice. This is a wrong move and you may get lost. If there is an injury, it will be difficult for you to get the nearest medical help. If you want to escape to a rural area, make sure you travel along a route that makes it easy for you to seek help if needed. If you escape to an urban area, try to find a place to take shelter. If you don't have a choice of a safe place, try to rest in a crowded place when it's still sunny. Sleep in the park or the beach when it's still sunny and cover yourself with a blanket. This “appearance” makes you look less suspicious and, in fact, seem like a normal person taking a nap in a public place.
- Locations that are passed by public transportation can be the right choice because these locations are a cheaper and faster option than other location options.
- A bicycle might help you move from one place to another with ease, but its weight and safety are even more inconvenient for you.
- Bridges (especially the area under them) can provide protection from the weather. Plus, the concrete walls retain heat during the day, keeping you warm at night. However, beware of other people if you want to sleep under the bridge because it is usually a "favorite" place for the homeless.
- If you want to go to a homeless shelter, be prepared to answer the questions the management will ask you when you arrive.
- The house of a friend or relative can be an option that you can consider. However, usually there are special rules in the house that you must always respect.
Step 4. Find a place to get the help you need
The most important thing you can do after running away from home is to find a place to recuperate. Regardless of the trauma that caused you to run away, there are likely to be some issues that need to be resolved before you can live a healthy and happy life. Before leaving home, research the area you want to visit, and find a shelter, detox center, or counseling center so you can get the help you need.
You will be in greater danger (both physically and mentally) if you use drugs and alcohol as an escape from the problems at hand. However, you are still innocent; it is the situation you are in that leads you to these dangerous things. However, you can't really live a good life alone until you've managed to solve the problem of addiction and dependence on drugs and alcohol
Step 5. Try generating an anonymous report/hint
Even if you are determined not to return home, there may be others who have experienced the same abuse or neglect that you did. Therefore, try contacting or making an anonymous report to the police or child protection authorities, especially if you have siblings who have experienced the same violence. You can also contact support services via public telephones or your friend's cell phone.
- In Indonesia, you can contact the Indonesian Child Protection Commission (KPAI) at 021-31901556. You can also visit the KPAI website to fill out a complaint form.
- Apart from KPAI, you can contact the Ministry of Social Affairs Call Center at 1500771.
Step 6. Think early about the job
As a teenager, you still need parental permission and other information to work, such as your residential address and ID number, even at places like fast food outlets. In the end, when you run away from home, you will run out of equipment and money. You need a source of income to support yourself. When applying for a job, say that you want to earn some extra money by working “in secret”. This means, you will get a salary from your boss directly and confidentially. With a system like this, you will immediately get your salary, and not through a bank account. There are several types of work you can consider:
- Cleaning staff at the restaurant
- Dishwasher
- Gardener
- Lecturer / tutor
- Babysitter
- Carrier of goods (especially in the process of moving)
- Painter
Method 3 of 3: Staying Away From Home
Step 1. Leave your place of residence
Go when you're not seen by anyone and make sure your actions aren't noticed right away. For example, on your way to school, you can call the school and ask for sick leave, then run away. You can also leave when everyone in the house is sleeping. This option can give you extra time to get away from home. Try to get as far as possible before stopping to rest. To make you harder to find, you can go out of town or out of the province.
- Trains or buses are transportation options that can take you far at a more affordable cost. Wear a hat or hoodie to cover your face and not be seen in surveillance camera footage.
- To make you look more different, color your hair a different color than your real hair color and/or get your hair cut. Make sure your haircut/color doesn't look messy because if you're not careful, some people might question your appearance.
- Bring clothes that you rarely or never wear. You can also buy cheap new clothes from thrift stores so others won't recognize you by the clothes you're wearing.
Step 2. Always put food first
This is your top priority. You can refill drinking water bottles at the nearest public drinking water faucet. In Indonesia itself, sometimes free drinking water is available that you can enjoy in mosques or houses of worship. However, you need to be careful because not all taps in Indonesia run potable water. Bring any food you find or get, and make sure you finish it quickly before it goes stale, even when you're not feeling hungry.
Step 3. Keep your body clean
This is important, especially if you are looking for a job. In addition, with a clean body and appearance, you will not be arrested by the police for being suspected of being a tramp. Stay away from dangerous places where thieves or sex offenders often stalk their prey, such as narrow alleys or quiet areas in parks. While body hygiene is an important factor to consider, try not to appear “tempting” so that you are protected from the threat of sexual predators.
Dress like you would go to school or a casual church event, not a party. Clothes that have multiple pockets also give you plenty of space to store the necessary gear
Step 4. Never engage in prostitution or use alcohol and drugs
Don't let anyone pay you to have sex. He may injure you, rob you, or not pay you at all. He may also wait until your condition worsens before asking you to do things that are outside your comfort zone. Remember that you need your money to buy the things you need to survive so don't waste your money on alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.
Even if other homeless people abuse alcohol or drugs and offer you what they have, always turn down the offer. It will be difficult for you to protect yourself when you are drunk or helpless
Step 5. Decide where to go to take care of your needs
Although not the most comfortable place, a public bathroom can be a good choice for grooming and cleaning yourself. Be prepared to answer questions that other people ask. You might say, "I'm traveling with my mom to visit grandma's house and we're stopping here for a shower." Such reasons can prevent the police from detaining you. For women, you can use certain products (eg Veet) to shave your legs or arms and maintain your appearance. Try not to look suspicious when you groom and clean yourself.
Step 6. Keep yourself safe
There are many things you can use to protect yourself, such as whistles, chili spray, or all-purpose kits. You can use these equipment to protect yourself in an emergency. Make sure you store the equipment in a hidden place, but still easily accessible. Keep money in your underwear, not in socks or bras because this trick is well known to many people (and will be the first "place" they go to when they want to rob you).
- If someone says, “I saw you brought money last night”, say that all the money has been used up, even if you still have it.
- Carry a bag or small purse filled with coins in a visible place. This way, if someone robs you, he will only take the empty wallet.
- If you run out of money to buy food, be careful when you want to beg. This will attract the attention of others and, at times, irritate other homeless people. In addition, in some places, begging is illegal.
- Supermarkets that offer product samples can be a great place to find food, without attracting attention. If someone asks you, just say that you are waiting for your mother to go shopping.
Step 7. Never steal. Besides being illegal and immoral, this act will also attract the attention of others, including the police. Stealing can have more serious consequences than simply being returned home.
Step 8. Prepare answers to questions that other people ask
It's possible that other people will ask you questions if they see you hanging around during school hours or brushing your teeth in a public restroom. Don't respond to questions that are asked with the first thing that comes to mind. Try to explain the situation you're in and stick with that answer when someone else asks the same question. This way, you will have a consistent answer every time someone else asks you. Think ahead of time about other people's responses to your answers/stories so that you are ready to give reliable answers.
Step 9. Don't use your phone
Your phone number and cell phone can be used by others to track your whereabouts, although in an emergency it could save your life. Therefore, by turning off your phone, you prevent others from tracking your whereabouts. You can also change the SIM card used if you want.
Tips
- Make sure you only run away if there is no other alternative. This decision can have a serious and permanent negative impact on your life. You could be injured or even killed without the protection of your surroundings, friends, and family. If you experience violence, call the police.
- Don't appear shaky, nervous, or hesitant when you lie. Such an attitude makes others disbelieve what you say.
- Only speak when you are spoken to by other people, and stick to one lie about yourself, what you do, etc. (if you have to lie). Don't let other people realize your lies just because you tell different stories.
- Don't hang around in the same place for long periods of time. Don't let yourself seem distracting or make other people curious about what you're doing.
- Remember that as much as possible, you should not be "seen" by others. Don't fish or seek attention. Try to appear like a normal pedestrian. Therefore, make sure you maintain cleanliness and wear clean and proper clothes.
- Always look for ways to protect yourself. Before escaping, it might be a good idea to exercise and develop your strength first.
- Don't lie or run away from the police. This will only increase suspicion and give the impression that you are doing something illegal. If you are caught by a police officer, you need to explain the actual situation you are in because lying, fighting, or running away from the police will only lead to more serious problems.
- Pack essential items, such as flashlights, blankets, etc. Remember to bring as many non-perishable food products as possible (eg crispy biscuits, dried fruit, granola snacks, canned goods).
- If you can't color your hair or change your haircut, try wearing a wig in a natural-looking color and style. Wigs help you hide your identity and make you look like someone else. However, don't wear childish-looking wigs (e.g., colorful wigs) so that you don't attract a lot of attention.
- Bring a folding knife or utility knife. Such a knife can save you in many situations and is used as a means of self-defense. However, its use might attract the attention of the crowd and get the police to find you.
- If you decide to run away from home, don't live with your sibling or relative as he or she may contact your parents.
- Bring a wallet, but don't keep your money in it. This way, if a criminal wants to rob you, you can show him an empty wallet and say that you don't have any more money (even though you still have it).
Warning
- Leave a message to your parents so they don't think you were kidnapped, unless you have experienced domestic violence (in which case, you need to call the police). Keep the message short and simply explain that you want to leave the house.
- Always carry and wear the right clothes. Bring a jacket and thick footwear (eg boots or sneakers), as well as clothing for hot weather.
- Do not be too confident. Overconfidence can make you an easy target (you can be easily spotted by your parents or the authorities too).
- Try to find a safe place to rest at night. Don't let you wander around at night because there is a chance you will meet criminals.
- If you decide to live in a shelter, the shelter manager can contact your parents if they know him. Therefore, it's a good idea to go to a shelter outside the city so that no one knows you.
