Your relationship with a guy is over, but you want to make sure he knows what he's let go of. Regardless of whether you want to get back in touch with him or not, maybe you want to remind him that you are special and that he has lost you. Consider who he is as a person, who you are, and show him what he really left behind. It's best to focus on yourself, not him. So, keep your distance, make positive changes in your life, and welcome new experiences.
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Method 1 of 3: Building Boundaries
Step 1. Keep your distance
He can't decide when and if he can talk to you again. Of course, you have to respect his boundaries or requests, but if he's open, it's up to you to choose when and how you talk to him again, by phone, text, or email. It may be difficult at first, but if you practice it, it will be easy.
- If you're in control of the communication, he'll know he doesn't have the freedom to contact you anymore.
- Keep a distance of at least a month after breaking up, then start talking again.
- For example, if you used to text him to remind him that he has a doctor's appointment, don't do it now. He should rely on the calendar, not you.
- Or, don't call to let them know that your favorite movie is on television. Instead, make popcorn and enjoy the movie itself.
Step 2. Embrace positive change
The time after breaking up is a time to develop yourself. This is not for your ex or anyone else, but for yourself. You deserve a fresh start. If you've been interested in joining a club or in a hobby for a long time, now is the time. Or, if you want to contact someone you haven't contacted in a long time, this is a great time. Whatever you choose, give yourself permission to change, to be better than yesterday, and do it for yourself, not others.
Your ex will notice the positive changes in you and realize that you are living and growing without him. This will probably make him happy for you and will almost certainly regret that he wasn't a part of the change
Step 3. Determine what kind of relationship you have with him
You both have to understand very well what kind of relationship after love ends. Together, or not. Sometimes it's hard to stick to your own words, but you have to let them know if the relationship can continue or end. There are no disconnect options, and you won't just be waiting for him to decide to come back.
- This attitude emphasizes self-control as well as emotional health.
- You might say, “Now that we've broken up, we have to figure out what our relationship is like now and how it interacts, that's if any. No ambiguity here and I want clarity."
Method 2 of 3: Boost Confidence
Step 1. Do Exercise
Exercise can refresh the body, brain, and heart. Like it or not at first, keep going. Make exercise a new habit. The body will be stronger, the brain will work better, and the heart will be more comfortable.
There are many gyms that offer monthly memberships, meaning you'll get all the amenities of the gym without a long, hard contract
Step 2. Don't forget to hang out
Get out there, hang out and enjoy life. Use this opportunity to hang out with people and do activities that make you happy. It's also an opportunity to discover new social activities that you've been wanting to do for a long time. Your ex will hear about your new social life or see photos on the internet, then realize that you're enjoying life without them.
- Meet up with friends
- Dinner
- Watch at the cinema
- Go to a festival, take a day for it.
- Join a group meeting
- Join a hobby club
- Don't go overboard with slang photos, as this can give the impression that you've lost control after a breakup.
Step 3. Practice positive thinking
There is an idea that we attract what we think. So, if you think positively, you will also attract positive energy. Also, by applying positive thoughts, you will learn to quell negative, self-doubting thoughts that often creep in without warning. Positive thinking is a habit to strive for, but the results are well worth it.
- Start small. Recall the negative things that you often think about and find ways to make them positive. Then, if there are negative thoughts that enter your head, get rid of them and replace them with positive thoughts.
- For example, you often think of yourself as not as talented as other people and will never be successful. Fight those negative thoughts. You are actually just expressing fear and anxiety, not facts. Instead of indulging feelings of fear and anxiety, improve the way you think. For example, say, “Everyone has talent. I just haven't found my talent yet." And, “There are many ways to be successful. I've been successful in many aspects of life. I will find a way to be successful every day, and keep looking for ways to be better.”
Step 4. Focus on strengths
You have strengths, and you have to focus on those strengths. Focusing on your strengths will drive you to grow and succeed. Success is yours and no one else can take it. You build it using your own talents and like anything else in life, the more you do it, the better. And your continuous development will open up new opportunities for personal growth and advancement.
- You may consider professional strengths, or personal talents, or artistic skills. Combine your strengths to develop something truly unique.
- For example, you have been making cakes for years. You love to make homemade cakes and share them with your loved ones. Consider creating a blog highlighting your skills and recipes.
- Or maybe you're good at organizing and working on complex tasks. You are often approached by people who want to solve problems, especially when the problem is too big for them to handle. You can use those skills and start a side business as a personal assistant or even a mentor.
- Maybe you love animals and want to spend a lot of time interacting with all kinds of animals. You seem to have an almost empathetic connection. Take advantage of that special talent and volunteer at a shelter for animal rehabilitation or a zoo.
Step 5. Get to know yourself
After a breakup, you may be wondering "what now?" You've become so used to sharing your experiences with others that you've lost touch with yourself. Knowing yourself and knowing who you are, what you like and what you don't like, and how you feel about religious and political issues are important things to get ahead. If you can step forward, he will see what he has let go.
- Start simple and make a list. Include all the things you usually do for entertainment, what adventures you want to do, dream vacations, and hobbies. Include as many lists as possible. This act of thinking and writing down thoughts is enough to help you get to know yourself.
- Or, you can meditate, formally or not, by closing your eyes, breathing slowly, and sitting still. Accept and calm your mind so you can feel yourself undisturbed.
Method 3 of 3: Enjoying Yourself
Step 1. Find new friends
Sometimes a breakup is accompanied by the loss of a few friends, but even if you don't, there's nothing wrong with making new friends. It's not that you have to forget about your existing friends, but that you have to expand your social circle. New friends will open up new experiences and also help distract from your ex. If you and your ex don't share the same social environment, they won't always be able to check on you and that allows room to recuperate.
- The digital age has opened up many options for meeting new people. You can join local Facebook groups, MeetUp groups, or participate in forums. These groups can be about interests (books, film genres, or even music), geography (city, country, neighborhood), or shared experiences (parenting, divorce, military veterans).
- In addition, bookstores and coffee shops also often hold regular meetings for people who share the same interests or goals.
- If you are still a student or college student, surely at school or campus there are social, sports, and academic clubs that you can join.
Step 2. Pamper yourself
You have the right to reward yourself with something you would normally limit yourself to. Feel free to pamper yourself a little, go explore somewhere, go on a date with yourself, or maybe buy that bag you've been looking for for a long time. Think of a thing or two that you really enjoy, and allow yourself to enjoy it.
- Try traveling or vacationing alone. Take time to explore new places or gain new experiences.
- Treat yourself to a gift. Maybe it's time to spend some money on a massage package or buy the pots and pans you've been wanting for a long time.
- Go out, for example to a bookstore, to dinner, or to a movie.
Step 3. Be kind to yourself
You know that being nice to other people is very important because it can help people as well as make them feel better. However, sometimes you forget to be nice to yourself, especially now. You have often cared for others and now is the time to take care of yourself. He will regret having lost your kindness.
- Stop by a coffee shop on your way to work.
- Treat yourself to a new outfit, a new game, or a new workout gear.
- Praise yourself, find one thing you can praise each day.
- Be patient with yourself.
Step 4. Have fun
You want your ex to regret, but the most important focus should be on your own happiness. Get out there and have fun. Don't think about whether he's sorry or not. You can't control his feelings. However, you can have fun, go out with friends, play mini golf, swim, camp, and any other fun activity out there.
Step 5. Create a new habit
This is a little different from changing a routine. Creating a new habit means developing a new positive attitude that becomes almost second nature if done over and over again. This new habit should be created with a focus on improving your life or making you happy. After all, happiness is good for you and attractive to others.
- You can create learning-based habits, such as learning a foreign language vocabulary every morning or reading the news for 20 minutes.
- New habits can also be physical activities, such as doing sit-ups and push-ups for 2 minutes every morning.
- Or, habits of a spiritual nature, such as reading a holy book or religious book for half an hour every night.
Tips
- Stay friendly with your ex. Don't intentionally ignore him, but keep your distance.
- He is the loser of losing a unique and special person like you. So, don't be sorry. There are many other men out there.
- Smile, and always show that you are happy. This might be the reason he wants to come back.
- Show that you are better off without him.
- If he really wants you, he will try to win you back. He should try to win your love so he understands that you are worth it.
- If all else fails, just enjoy life as single.
