When asked to give space by someone close, it must be very painful, and maybe you are worried about losing him. Anxiety is natural, but if you want your relationship to last, you have to respect his wishes. Step away for a moment so he can get the space he needs, but tell him that you're stepping away to help the relationship. While you're giving him space, focus on yourself to make things easier for you. Then, try to repair the relationship.
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Method 1 of 3: Respecting His Needs
Step 1. Ask him how much space he needs, if possible
Try to set a specific time apart, even if it's just one day to catch up with each other. Also, ask him what he expects, such as limiting communication or avoiding each other in public. This way, you can provide him with what he needs and prevent miscommunication that could damage the relationship.
- You can say, “I want to give you space. So that I know what to do next, can you tell me what kind of space do you need?
- For example, he wants you to stop all contact for a few days. This includes text messaging, social media, and face-to-face conversations. However, it's possible that he'll still be able to receive the occasional message as long as you leave him alone.
Step 2. Say that you give him space because you care
One of the pitfalls of giving space is that he may think you don't care anymore. This position is tricky for you because he doesn't like being bothered either. To make sure you both understand the situation, explain that you will only step back until he is ready to be close again.
Say, “You are very important to me, and I can understand you want to be alone right now. I'll give you the space you need, and I hope this will strengthen our relationship going forward."
Step 3. Don't call and text while you're pulling away
You'll most likely have to give him a few days or even a few weeks, depending on what's going on. During that time, do not call or text more than agreed. If you continue to contact him as usual, he'll feel like you don't respect his wishes and may get even more irritated.
- If you can, ask him what he wants. Say, “You want me to stop texting and calling until you call first?”
- Giving space doesn't just mean being apart. If you still regularly send messages, it's not giving space.
Tip:
How long you should stop contact depends on the event that triggered this situation and how much space he needs.
Step 4. Stay away from his social media accounts
Maybe you want to know what he's up to, that's natural. However, relationships can be dangerous if you keep an eye on their social media pages. Not only will you worry more, but you will also make him feel that he is being shadowed. So, just play it safe and stay away from the account.
Do not like or comment on any posts from him. Also, don't ask friends what he's doing
Tip:
Don't post social media posts addressed to him. If she sees the post, she may get even more angry and feel like you want to contact her via social media.
Step 5. Avoid places he frequents so he doesn't meet
Maybe you can't completely avoid it, especially if you live together or work or go to school in the same place. However, you can try to stay away from places he frequents, such as the office or a favorite restaurant. This helps you avoid awkward encounters that make him uncomfortable.
For example, you know he always drinks coffee at the same coffee shop every day. If you meet him there, he may assume you wanted to meet him on purpose
Step 6. Don't ask him what he's doing or monitoring his activity
If someone asks for space, it means he needs time to explore his freedom and decide what he wants out of the relationship. If you demand to know all about his activities, you're not giving him the freedom he needs. Let him do what he feels is right without having to tell you all the details.
- You may be tempted to ask, “Who did you meet?” Questions like these make him feel like you don't appreciate his need to be alone.
- Don't make rules, such as who he can meet and what he can do while apart.
Method 2 of 3: Focus on Yourself
Step 1. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions, but don't indulge
Being away from loved ones is of course difficult. You may be sad, angry, frustrated, or worried. Accept your feelings and express them in healthy ways, such as keeping a diary or making something artsy. However, don't vent your feelings as that will only make the situation worse.
- For example, say to yourself, "I'm so sad right now because Alex is my best friend and I could have lost him." This can help relieve emotions.
- On the other hand, calling Alex and crying while telling him you're sad isn't a good idea.
Step 2. Distract yourself with fun activities and hang out with friends
Instead of worrying about what he's doing, use this time to do activities that are important to you. Spend time with friends, do a favorite hobby, or try a new interest. Fill your time with fun things that will keep you busy.
For example, watching a movie Monday, inviting friends over to the house Tuesday, painting Wednesday, practicing card tricks on Thursday, and watching a football game on Friday
Tip:
Being busy will reduce the risk of longing and calling. By enjoying time without him, you can both please yourself and give him space.
Step 3. Keep your mind busy so you don't think about him
Maybe you're worried about losing him, but thinking about it won't help. You will only get more restless and may be compelled to contact him prematurely. Do something that makes your brain work, like reading, playing a game, or watching a documentary. This will help you think of something else.
For example, if you think about him during your lunch break, try reading a book to keep your mind busy
Step 4. Talk to someone you trust to discuss feelings
Right now you may be sad, and sharing those feelings with someone might make you feel better. Discuss the situation with someone you can trust. Tell them if you just want to talk or need their advice.
You can say, “I have a problem, I want to vent. My boyfriend needs his own space, I'm worried that we'll break up later. I miss him."
Variation:
If you don't want to express your feelings, try writing in a diary.
Step 5. Take care of yourself so you can enjoy life to the fullest
You'll feel better, as well as show him that you can be independent. Make sure you eat a healthy diet, exercise, and shower every day. In addition, treat yourself like drinking your favorite coffee, taking a hot bath, or going for a walk.
Make a schedule so you can take care of yourself regularly while waiting for this situation to resolve
Method 3 of 3: Repairing Relationships
Step 1. Find out why he needs space
Think about what happened before he asked for space to himself, and what exactly he said when he expressed that desire. Then, think of other ways to deal with such situations and improve your approach to problems in the future.
- For example, you may have a fight or think you are too dependent on him.
- When he's ready, talk about what makes him want to be alone. Say, "What did I do wrong to make you want to be alone?"
Step 2. Apologize or make mistakes
There's a good chance that both parties have made mistakes, but you can only control what you can do. Say you understand what happened and apologize. Then, explain that you will not repeat that attitude again.
- For example, “I understand I don't appreciate your need to hang out with your friends. I'm sorry if you feel I control you. After this, I promise you can enjoy your time with your friends.”
- Or, “I'm sorry I had a chat with your ex at the party yesterday. I know you're hurt, and I'd appreciate our friendship even more."
Step 3. Plan fun activities for the day when the relationship is back again
It may be uncomfortable at first and you may feel compelled to talk about your feelings. However, the best way to get your relationship back to normal is to enjoy each other's company happily. Choose an activity that both of you will enjoy, then invite him or her.
- Look for activities that don't allow much talk about feelings. For example, playing bowling, miniature golf, rock climbing, or watching a concert.
- Choose activities based on common interests to help both of you remember why you like being together.
Step 4. Make sure you both have time to be independent
Healthy relationships should provide opportunities to develop, pursue each other's interests, and enjoy relationships with others. Then, change old patterns so you can both stay independent and happy.
- In a romantic relationship, this means needing a few nights each week to engage in a personal hobby or spend time with friends.
- In friendship, this means respecting the fact that each has other friends and not hanging out with ex-friends.
- For family relationships, such as siblings, this means respecting personal space, giving each other time to be alone each day, and asking or asking permission before using each other's things.
Step 5. Communicate daily via text, phone, or in person
Relationships cannot survive without communication, so find ways to interact. Send memes, ask about the day, or spend some time each evening chatting. Discuss what both parties want to determine what kind of communication is good for the relationship.
- For example, you could chat in person if you live together, but you might want to message several times a day if you're often far apart.
- If he wants to reduce communication, respect his wishes.
