Delivering a eulogy is a commendable act and a very important contribution in the final honoring ceremony for someone who has died. Such a thing will be remembered by friends and family for a very long time, so you should be honored for your participation in this difficult ceremony. However, don't be intimidated by the idea of doing it; writing a touching eulogy is not a difficult thing to do.
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Method 1 of 1: Writing Eulogy
Step 1. Be confident and stay positive
Remember that you are capable of writing and delivering great eulogies. Don't worry about delivering the perfect eulogy; the important thing to do is to do your best given the shortness of time and your vulnerability. Get rid of annoying questions like, "What should I say?", "Will people like it?" "How long will it take?", "Where should I start?"
Step 2. Find inspiration from things that evoke old memories, stories, and feelings for your loved one
You can browse old photo albums, watch old family videos, or browse scrapbooks. Ask friends and family for their stories and fond memories.
Step 3. Determine the nuance of your speech
Speech can be sad, serious, thoughtful, or humorous. You are the most appropriate to determine which nuances are appropriate for the event.
Step 4. Outline the eulogy
Outlines will help organize your thoughts, focus and structure the main ideas and themes, making the writing process easier. After writing down the main ideas, each idea can be broken down into smaller parts, so that the small details are not forgotten. The more detail you include at this stage, the easier it will be to write a draft.
You can create an outline using whatever method you find most convenient. There is a traditional vertical style outline, with roman letters and numbers. Or you can outline according to the relation freely; this will stimulate creative thinking because you are free to jump from one idea to another, no matter how seemingly unrelated the thoughts may seem. Write the person's name at the top of the paper. When thoughts arise, any thoughts, write a word or sentence that immediately summarizes the thought. For example, "social contribution"
Step 5. Expand on the thoughts you have written down
Keep writing down everything that comes to your mind. After writing down a lot of ideas, go back to your outline and number the main points in the order in which they are presented.
Step 6. Write a draft, and remember that your first draft won't be perfect right away
You are experiencing difficult emotions. If you find it difficult to write, don't panic or give up. Take a moment to calm yourself down. Review the outline. It's also important to remember that editing is a big part of the writing process, and your draft will develop as you work on it. Start slowly, without knowing exactly what you are going to say. Stick to your outline and let your ideas flow onto the paper. Try writing a letter to your loved one for more ideas (in fact, the format of the letter can be your entire eulogy). Write as soon as possible. You'll have time to recheck for grammatical errors, or tinker with words.
Step 7. Initiate the eulogy
Finding the right words to get the audience's attention can be the most difficult part of the eulogy writing process. If you can't think of a proper way to start, skip it and keep writing. You can always come back to that section later. Do you want to say something humorous? Touch? Generating thoughts? Any kind of start is acceptable. But you need to get the audience's attention; whatever it is, it should feel strong. Here are a few different ways to start your eulogy:
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Quotes can be humorous, inspiring, spiritual, or religious ways to start your eulogy. The quote can be taken from a famous person, your loved one, a friend, the Bible, or another book. Keep in mind that such a quote can be used anywhere throughout the eulogy.
- "Johann W. von Goethe once said, 'A life of no benefit is an early death.'' Luckily for Jennifer, this never happened to her extraordinary existence."
- "I remember when Bill used to say, 'God must have a sense of humor, because otherwise I wouldn't have married your mother'. I always laugh every time he makes jokes about his beautiful marriage. Bill and Molly must be soulmates."
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Question. Begin the eulogy with a question, and provide the answer.
"My dad once said to me, 'Michael, what do you think will be your wish at the end of your life?' I looked at him blankly. He said, 'I can tell you what I won't say. God, I wish I had worked harder, or made more money.. I would say, I wish I had more time to spend with my family.' That's what makes Dad so great. His full and unconditional love for his family."
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Poetry. Poetry is a great way to start a eulogy. You can make your own, or use your loved one's favorite poem.
"Which we can remember with pure amazement and fear. In the evening, when our bodies lie lazing on the whispering grass, we lie looking up at the windswept sky far, far away and talk about old, lost stories. end up with good friends, exploring the unknown-nameless-park without a map of one's heart." --C. S. Lewis
- Continuing the eulogy: The body of the eulogy should follow the beginning of your rough draft or outline as closely as possible. When you've finished writing on one subject, move on to another topic in the eulogy outline. The more detailed your outline, the faster you can write. When you run out of ideas on a topic, just move on to the next topic and finish another topic.
Step 8. Remember to include your audience in the narrative
Make them feel included. Tell stories that make them laugh, or cry. You need to make them remember people they once knew or loved.
Ending the eulogy: The ending of the eulogy should contain a few sentences with a connection to everything you've said. You'll want your listeners to have the feeling that everything is neatly closed and locked. You could restate an important point or theme found throughout your eulogy, or you could summarize how your loved one has touched your life. Doing so with a quote or poem is a great way to do it
Step 9. Edit your eulogy
The chances of your first draft being perfect are slim. Correct any mistakes you may have made, or vary ideas and topics. Some pointers are:
- Write in a conversational style. Write it as if it were a letter to an old friend. Don't sound plain and boring. You don't have to worry about incomplete sentences or slurred sentences.
- Change the name of the person who died. Avoid using only her words, Mom, Dad, Kevin, or Sarah. Instead, use them interchangeably. Switch from saying, "he's like this," to "Kevin is like that," and so on. This will greatly amplify how the eulogy sounds, and keep the listener's attention.
- Write briefly. Say everything you want to say, but remember that it's important to keep the audience's attention. A good eulogy is 3 to 5 minutes long; depending on your delivery speed, this varies from 1 to 3 pages, with 1 space.
Step 10. Practice your eulogy
The more you practice, the more confident you will be, and the more effective your eulogy will be. Practice whenever you want. Do it in front of a mirror and in front of people; The latter will also help relieve any anxiety you may feel when speaking in public. Your confidence will allow you to speak naturally and more calmly. You'll start memorizing your speech, which again, will give you the confidence to make eye contact with the audience.
Step 11. Deliver the eulogy
This can be the most difficult aspect of the whole process. But remember that everyone present will support you 1000 percent. No one will be disappointed if your eulogy lacks the depth of the Sermon on the Mount, or judges your presence on stage or not, or criticizes your rhetorical skills. Everyone present was feeling very emotional. This includes you; so it's okay to take a break during your eulogy. Try to stay calm, and don't rush.
Tips
- When typing eulogy, use a large font size so that it is easy to see and read. Enter three or four spaces between sentences or topics. This will help you hold yourself back, so you stay calm.
- If you're not comfortable writing, another useful way to finish your rough draft or eulogy is to talk while using a tape recorder or video camera. For some, this method is quicker to brainstorm and requires less preparation.
- Bring a tissue and a glass of water when delivering your speech. This will really help you. Avoid things that can make you jittery, such as caffeine or other stimulants.
- Nothing is perfect in this world; Chances are, the person who died also had his own bad side. Honesty is a good thing; it's okay to mention these things. However, be polite and respectful in doing so, and relate the context to good things.
