Maybe you've always seen a girl and wished you could talk to her. While it can be stressful the first time you talk to him, you can actually open up opportunities for him to like you too! Start by paying attention to his body language to determine the right approach time. After that, use a question or statement to open a chat.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Warming Up
Step 1. Calm yourself down by taking deep breaths when you feel anxious
It's natural to feel nervous before going out and talking to someone you like. If you feel nervous, try taking deep breaths. Close your eyes and inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold for a count of four, then release for a count of four. Make sure you inhale into the stomach area. Do this breathing exercise several times to relieve tension.
You can also take the time to encourage yourself. Tell yourself that you can do it. Other than that, get your head straight. What's the worst thing that could happen? If he doesn't want to talk to you, you'll feel hurt, but that's not the end
Step 2. Say something to keep the conversation going
The longer you wait to say something, the less likely you are to do it. You don't have to say anything great! Just keep the conversation going. Even simple greetings like “Hi!” can keep the chat going.
You can also say something funny or silly, like “Ouch! I can't choose! Who's cooler? Marion Jola or Yura Yunita?"
Step 3. Ask her for something to make her like you
Of course you can't directly ask him for a million rupiah! Ask him to give a small favor. This may sound strange, but when you ask someone for help, they usually give it to you. In fact, it can make him like you even more.
Ask for simple help, such as "Could you please give me some salt?" or “Get me that bottle of cream, please.”
Step 4. Leave comments about things you both enjoy or do to pique their interest
Believe it or not, you have something in common (or maybe love) with everyone you meet! You just need to find out and determine it. Find something you can use to start a conversation. You don't have to pick a big topic.
- For example, if you were at school, you might say "That test was terrible, wasn't it?"
- If you're in a coffee shop, you can say, "It must be cold outside!" or “This song is interesting, isn't it?”. You could also say, for example, “In this cold weather, coffee is the perfect drink. Right, isn't it?"
Step 5. Continue the chat by responding to his statement
You need to hear and respond to what the other person has to say when chatting with the girl you like. If he responds to a statement, question, or request for help from you, reply back. Try to keep the topic of conversation cheerful because this is your first meeting or chat with him.
For example, when he says, “Yes! Coffee is the best! My body feels warm after drinking coffee.”, you can answer, “Right, right? By the way, what's your favorite coffee?"
Step 6. Keep reflecting on yourself to show your interest in him
When you chat with someone for the first time, you may doubt or read what they are saying negatively. If you can, fight these negative thoughts. Keep smiling and ask questions. Stand up straight and speak clearly.
Most people find self-confidence an attractive thing. Even if you don't feel confident, at least pretend to be. Also, use your body language when you're pretending so you can feel more confident
Part 2 of 3: Paying Attention to Body Language Clues
Step 1. Give him a smile and see if he reciprocates
A smile is a positive indicator that he wants to talk to you. By throwing a smile, you can reflect your happiness when you see it. If he replies, you can approach him.
- Look into her eyes to see if her smile is real. If he gives a genuine smile, you can tell by the look in his eyes. If he smiled just to be polite, his smile would look fake.
- For signs of sincerity, check to see if his smile lifts his cheeks and creates wrinkles in his eyes.
Step 2. See if he holds his gaze for a moment. Don't try to stare at him all the time
If you catch his gaze, hold on for a few seconds while smiling at him. If he's holding his gaze, there's a good chance he's trying to show his interest in you.
Step 3. Watch for other signs of positive body language
Positive body language reflects his openness to talk to you. Notice if he turns his body towards you, or if he crosses his arms or legs. He may also play with his hair or clothes.
Alternatively, if you see negative body language, refrain from approaching it right away. Signs of negative body language include crossed arms or legs, a position away from you, a frown on the forehead, a stiff looking body, or a face that is turned the other way
Step 4. Don't talk to him if he seems to be in a bad mood
If he looks upset or sad, wait until tomorrow. You do want to approach him because he likes him, but he may not be able to think clearly and be reluctant to respond to you when he's in a bad mood.
Also, if he looks like he's seriously working on something, it's a good idea not to try to approach him
Part 3 of 3: Continuing the Chat
Step 1. Listen to what he has to say
In conversation, there are those who give and there are those who receive. Make sure you focus on what he's saying so you can respond. If you don't listen to it, the chat will end quickly!
No one likes to hear someone constantly talking about themselves for half an hour! Encourage him to want to talk about himself
Step 2. Use open-ended questions to continue the chat
Open-ended questions encourage him to give answers other than “yes” or “no”. These types of questions allow him to talk about himself and of course he'll be happy to do so, as long as he's not too embarrassed.
- For example, instead of asking questions like, "Do you like rock music?", you could ask, "What is your favorite genre of music?"
- If he gives short answers, ask follow-up questions, such as "Who is your favorite pop singer?"
Step 3. Try to tell a little about yourself
If he asks a question, answer it honestly. While you shouldn't talk too much about yourself, each party should have a balanced turn to speak and listen. If you don't want to talk about yourself at all, he'll end up suspicious of you.
Step 4. End the chat positively
If all goes well, try to reschedule the chat at a later time. For example, you can ask for his phone number so you can message him or call him. You can also ask for his social media profile ID to contact him through the appropriate platform.
You can open up the possibility to spend time together. For example, you could say, "Let's have coffee together sometime, shall we?"
Step 5. Leave him if he doesn't want to chat
Even though you will feel sad or depressed if your crush doesn't want to talk to you, respect her decision. If he doesn't want to talk to you or refuses your invitation to go out with him, say “Okay. Thank you! and leave him.
Even if it hurts, try not to take the rejection to heart. You don't know what's on his mind right now. It's possible that he's still so worried about his current grades at school that he doesn't intend to meet or date anyone
Tips
- If you feel nervous at first, try talking to him around other people until you feel comfortable talking to him alone. Show your confidence!
- If you really like him, try befriending him first.
