If the girl you like already has a boyfriend, it will be difficult for you to pursue a relationship with her. In addition to being more likely to reject you than when he was single, there is a possibility that you will be hated by his girlfriend. If you really care about him and want to try to connect with him, consider the risks and benefits that you can get first. When you're ready to approach him, take slow steps and treat him with love and respect. If things go according to plan, be prepared to put in a lot more effort to build a stronger relationship!
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Method 1 of 3: Determining If a Relationship With Him Is Worth Pursuing
Step 1. Ask yourself why you want to bond with him
Before taking that step, think about why you would want to pursue someone who is already in a relationship with someone else. Do you really care about him and always think about him? Do you feel that he will be happier in a relationship with you than he is in his current relationship? If not, stop and seriously consider whether your relationship with him is worth pursuing.
For example, if you're trying to win her over just because you like a challenge or you want revenge on her boyfriend, there's a good chance that you won't end up in a happy or fulfilling relationship
Step 2. Find out if he is happy with his current relationship
Face it! You may not be able to win her heart if she is in love and is happy with her boyfriend. If he seems bored with the relationship or you see signs that his girlfriend isn't treating him well, you may have a chance. Without seeming to be watching or stalking him, try to guess how he feels about the relationship he is in.
- If you see an opportunity, try to observe the interaction of your idol with his lover. Do you see a lot of tension or awkward “silent” moments? Does he often yell at her or belittle her? Or do you see lots of laughter, smiles, and physical affection?
- You can also talk to one of his friends to find out the condition of your idol's relationship.
Tips:
Even if his current relationship seems pathetic, don't expect him to end the relationship right away. Breaking free from an unhealthy relationship is not easy.
Step 3. Look for signs he is attracted to you
If your crush doesn't reciprocate your feelings at all, your efforts will be in vain. Before taking a step, look for signals that indicate that you both have feelings in common. For example, see if it:
- Often shows eye contact with you when you chat
- Often laughs or smiles when I'm with you
- Looking for opportunities to spend time with you
- It's easy to open up to you
- Touch you often
Step 4. Back off if you feel you can't handle a complicated relationship
A romantic bond with someone who already has a lover will automatically cause a lot of problems in your relationship. Before taking any steps, there are a few things to consider:
- Are you ready to deal with the emotional pain for his girlfriend (and possibly you and your crush) from your actions?
- Are you sure that you can build a stronger relationship with him than your current relationship?
- If he wants to leave his girlfriend for you, are you prepared for the possibility that he might leave you for someone else in the future?
Method 2 of 3: Starting a Relationship
Step 1. Spend time with him as a friend
Before taking a step, take some time to get to know him. In addition to giving him the opportunity to open up, you can also get a clearer picture of whether or not this relationship is worth pursuing. Look for opportunities to spend time with him and do fun things, without any expectations of romance.
- To make him feel more comfortable, take him with other friends. This way, he won't feel like you're asking him out.
- For example, you can take her to a party or watch a movie with other friends.
Tips:
You may be afraid of getting stuck in the friend zone, but research shows that friendship is actually a good basis for a romantic relationship. Don't be afraid to make friends with him first before taking your relationship to a more serious level!
Step 2. Treat him with respect
Remember that he too is human, not just an object to be won. Take him-and his relationship-seriously. If he's uncomfortable with your actions, respect his boundaries and step back.
For example, if he says, “Hey! I don't like it when you make fun of my lover," don't get defensive right away. Apologize and stop what you're doing
Step 3. Give him your full attention when you are together
Show him that you value and appreciate him by paying genuine attention to him while spending time with him. Decide on a topic of conversation, but let him do most of the talking. When he says something, respond with a question to show that you are actively listening to him.
- For example, if he says he wants to be a doctor, don't just say, “Wow! Cool!". Ask questions like, “What attracted you to becoming a doctor?”
- Don't be busy planning what you want to say next. Focus on what he has to say and respond to his words.
- Keep cell phones and other things distracting you when you're with him.
Step 4. Open up to him
If you can show him your fragile side, he will understand your character and background better. By opening up to him, you are also showing that you trust him and feel comfortable with him.
- For example, you can share secrets with him, admit your flaws, or let him see you struggling or feeling shy when trying new things.
- Don't be afraid to let him see your emotional side. For example, if the two of you watch a sad movie together and you feel touched, don't hide your emotions from him!
Step 5. Throw in a flirt if he doesn't mind
If he seems comfortable with you and enjoying your company, try throwing a little flirting when he's with him. Make sure you make eye contact and smile a lot when talking to him. You can also seduce him by:
- Joke or prank him. If you want to prank him, make sure you make a light, positive flirt. Don't say anything rude or offend him.
- Show confidence. Sit up straight and speak clearly and firmly. Display body language that is open and relaxed when you are with him.
- Draw attention to your mouth. As strange as it sounds, the attention you bring to your lips makes him want to kiss you. Smile and touch your chin every now and then. If you order a drink, hold your glass to your lips for a few seconds longer than usual.
Step 6. Show that you can be a good lover
If you want to attract the attention of someone who is already in a relationship with someone else, you have to appear more attractive than the other person. Don't act like him because you think he likes it. Show your best side when you are with him. If you find out something he's not getting from his current relationship, show him that you can give it to him.
- For example, you may notice that his girlfriend never jokes or cracks jokes. If you have a funny character, highlight your strengths. He may feel happy around someone who can make him laugh.
- If your boyfriend doesn't show interest in his hobby, show that you're a different person by asking questions or finding ways to participate. You can say, “You like board games? I've been wanting to try Scrabble for a long time! Maybe we can play together sometime!”
Step 7. Show a signal that you are interested in him
Once you've had the opportunity to spend some time and get to know her better, find ways to indirectly show that you want to be more than just a friend. Don't stress him out or expect him to reciprocate your feelings. Just show how you feel and give him a chance to respond.
- If you want to give him a hint, try throwing in a genuine compliment. For example, you could say, “Wow, Enzy! You look beautiful today!” or “I feel happier every time I spend time with you.”
- You can also express your attraction through physical touch. For example, you can put your hand on his shoulder or touch his hand for a while while talking. However, only show physical touch if he feels comfortable.
- If you're not good at throwing "signals" and you're pretty sure he's interested in you too, just tell him how you feel. However, keep in mind that this step is very risky!
Step 8. Let him take the next step
If you're sure that he knows how you feel, let him take the next step. If he wants you too, he may ask you to spend some time alone or even tell you how he feels.
Don't stress him out! Even though he is attracted to you, he is in a difficult position to choose between you and his girlfriend. He will feel annoyed and uncomfortable if you make him depressed
Method 3 of 3: Making Relationships Go Smooth
Step 1. Stay nice and show respect when you're with him
If you manage to date him, you still have some "tasks". Remember that he made a big decision when he decided to date you even though he was in another relationship. Show that his decision is worth it by treating him well and providing your presence for him.
- Show you care by being tactful and showing affection. For example, ask how he's been when he's had a bad day, or try to take him seriously if he needs someone to talk to.
- Show a genuine interest in the person. Talk about his interests, hopes, and dreams, and make time to do things he enjoys.
Step 2. Give him time to deal with the end of the relationship
Regardless of the situation, a breakup is never easy to deal with. Understand that even though he ended his relationship with his girlfriend for your sake, he also needs time to deal with his own feelings before he can relate to you.
- Don't push him or force him to forget it before he's ready.
- You may not want to hear about how he feels about his ex, but remember that you have to keep supporting him if you want to be a good partner to him. Listen to what he has to say when he wants to talk, and give him your shoulder so he can lean on when he cries.
Step 3. Make an effort to keep the relationship exciting
If he leaves his old relationship because he's bored, try your best to make sure your relationship with him doesn't end the way it did before. Keep things interesting by doing fun things together and surprise him with new things.
- For example, you can take him camping or visit a recently opened place in your city.
- You don't have to do anything complicated. You can surprise him with a small gift or an occasional romantic evening at home.
Tips:
Don't assume that you know how he feels or likes. Every now and then ask him what he wants to do.
Step 4. Be prepared to deal with complicated emotions
You and your partner may both have had complicated feelings about their previous relationship. For example, he may feel guilty about leaving his ex, and you may feel a little jealous or anxious when he talks about it. In this situation, be honest with him and yourself about how you feel, but don't make accusations or judge him. It was only natural that things would feel complicated in a situation like this.
- When talking to him about how you feel, use the pronoun "I" so he doesn't feel like you're accusing him or blaming him for your feelings. For example, you could say, “Sometimes I get nervous when you talk about your ex. I'm afraid you still have strong feelings for him."
- Don't have a one-way conversation. Be prepared to listen to what he has to say, even if his words make you uncomfortable.
