Listening is a very useful skill in everyday life. If you're easily distracted during conversation or don't feel trusted to keep secrets, it's time to learn to listen. Listening skills shown through actions and attention to the interlocutor can help you communicate, build relationships, and add experiences to your everyday life. This article explains how to listen by focusing attention and giving a good response to the other person so that the conversation is more fluid and more enjoyable.
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Part 1 of 3: Paying attention without getting distracted
Step 1. Ignore the distractions
When someone starts a conversation, try to focus on him or her and ignore the things that distract you, such as turning off the TV, closing the laptop, putting down what you're reading or doing first. You will have a hard time hearing and understanding what someone is saying if you are distracted by sounds or other activities.
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When you want to have a telephone or face-to-face conversation, find a quiet place, free of distractions, and where no one else will interrupt the conversation.
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Many people prefer to chat outside the home in order to stay away from monitor screens and electronic devices, for example while walking in a park or in a residential area.
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Step 2. Focus attention
When the other person is speaking, focus on the words he or she is saying. Don't worry about what you want to say in response. Pay attention to his facial expressions, make eye contact, and observe his body language to understand exactly what he is trying to convey.
An important aspect of paying attention and really listening to what the other person is saying is the ability to interpret silence and body language. When communicating, nonverbal aspects are as important as verbal aspects
Step 3. Don't focus on yourself
Many people have trouble concentrating during a conversation because they are worried about what the other person thinks about their appearance. Know that the person speaking is not judging you at the same time. He will thank you for listening. In order to listen well, don't worry about yourself while communicating. You're not focused on what the other person is saying if you're constantly thinking about the things you're worried about or wanting.
Step 4. Learn to empathize
To be able to listen well, learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. If someone talks to you about their problem, show concern and try to feel what they're going through. Good communication exists when both parties understand each other. Find a common ground that makes you both feel more connected and try to understand what he's saying from the same point of view.
Step 5. Be a good listener
Maybe you already know the difference between listening and listening. Hearing is one of the physical abilities to recognize sounds, while listening is the ability to interpret these sounds so that we are able to understand other people and things in everyday life. You can conclude what you hear by listening. For example: the tone of a person's voice when speaking indicates whether he or she is happy, depressed, angry, or confused. Sharpen listening skills to improve listening skills.
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Sharpen the sensitivity of the listener's senses by focusing on listening to sounds. Have you ever taken the time to close your eyes and let your hearing take control of your mind? Take a moment to pause to listen to the sounds around you so you can appreciate the abilities that can be obtained through hearing.
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Listen to music attentively. We often play music as an accompaniment to our daily activities without focusing on listening to it. Listen to a song or an entire album to the end while closing your eyes and focusing on a particular sound. If the music consists of several instruments such as an orchestra, listen to the sound of a specific instrument so that you only hear the sound until the music is finished.
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Part 2 of 3: Showing Responsive Body Language
Step 1. Lean forward slightly
These small gestures show the other person that you really want to hear what he's saying. When having a conversation, get into the habit of standing or sitting opposite each other and leaning slightly upwards towards the other person. So that the atmosphere feels more comfortable, do not lean too far forward.
Step 2. Make eye contact, but not for too long
Staring at the person who is talking also shows that you are able to listen to what they are saying without being distracted. Eye contact plays an important role in establishing good communication. However, do not stare at the interlocutor for too long because this will make him feel uncomfortable.
Research shows that during a one-on-one conversation, most respondents make eye contact for 7-10 seconds before turning their gaze elsewhere
Step 3. Nod your head occasionally
Nodding your head is a great way to show concern for the person you're talking to. Nodding your head can be a sign that you support him or give him a chance to continue talking. However, only nod if you agree, because the other person will feel ignored if you nod when he or she says something you are against.
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Give a verbal response when you want him to continue talking, for example by saying “Yes”, “Fine”, or “OK”.
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Step 4. Don't fidget or bend over
Body language can indicate interest or boredom. If you're constantly squeezing your fingers, tapping your feet on the floor, crossing your arms, or sitting on your chin during a conversation, this behavior will make you seem bored and the other person wants to end the conversation immediately. Get in the habit of sitting or standing up straight to show that you want to be actively involved in communicating.
If you find it easier to listen while making certain movements, use less obvious ways to avoid disturbing the other person, such as shaking your feet on the floor or squeezing a stress-relieving ball on the table. If he asks, explain that it makes it easier for you to listen and then ask him to continue the conversation
Step 5. Show proper facial expressions
Remember that listening is active, not passive. Respond to the person who is speaking so that it doesn't feel like he's writing a journal. Show interest by smiling, laughing, frowning, shaking your head, other facial expressions, or appropriate body language.
Part 3 of 3: Giving Feedback Without Judging
Step 1. Don't interrupt
Interrupting someone who is speaking is disrespectful. This shows that you are not listening at all because you prefer to be heard. If you tend to rush into giving your opinion before the other person has finished speaking, start breaking the habit of interrupting the conversation. Wait patiently for his turn until he finishes speaking.
If you accidentally interrupt (many people do this every once in a while), it's a good idea to apologize right away and let him continue the conversation
Step 2. Ask questions
To keep the other person talking, ask questions to show listening and curiosity, for example by asking: "What happened after that?" or other questions related to the topic of conversation. You can say: “Agreed!” or “Okay!” for the conversation to continue.
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Repeat what he said to clarify what he wanted to say.
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Step 3. Don't criticize
Even if you have different opinions, try to understand the other person's point of view. Criticizing someone's words because their views seem inappropriate or unfavorable will make you distrustful. In order to listen well, be neutral by not judging other people's words. If you want to share a different opinion, wait for the person to finish speaking.
Step 4. Respond honestly
When it's your turn to speak, respond honestly, openly, and politely. Give advice if asked. If you trust the person you are talking to and want to strengthen the relationship, you are welcome to share your opinion and share your feelings. Listening is reciprocal if you contribute to the conversation.
Tips
- Discuss interesting or informative things to learn to listen, for example by playing recorded articles, humorous stories, comedy shows, or listening to the radio.
- Instead of just listening to conversations, learn to listen by listening to nature sounds or sounds around you while walking in the woods or downtown.
- Pay attention to various aspects of the interlocutor, for example: tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, intonation, and habits when speaking. During the conversation, respond by asking questions, using appropriate body language, and saying words that show that you are listening. Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes by imagining what he or she is feeling and thinking.
- When listening to someone who is speaking quickly in a foreign language, try to figure out the meaning of his speech and the subject of the conversation. Instead of just translating word for word or phrases he uses, visualize the subject being discussed so you can understand the message he wants to convey during the conversation.
