You will agree that autistic children are unique, mainly because they interpret the world in a different way than non-autistic people. The difference actually arises because autistic children have their own language system and method of socializing. That's why, if you want to get closer to a child who receives a diagnosis of autism, make an effort to learn the language so that the two of you can communicate in a more appropriate way.
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Method 1 of 3: Communicating Effectively with Autistic Children
Step 1. Choose a convenient time and quiet location to interact with him
If you feel relaxed, your child will find it easier to accept the information you convey. Also, make sure you choose a quiet, quiet location, especially since too much stimulant can make it difficult for your child to function normally.
Step 2. Don't cross his personal boundaries
Autistic children, especially those who are hypersensitive, may need more space to feel comfortable. Therefore, try sitting next to him while maintaining a reasonable distance, and allow him to approach him if you wish.
- Sensory input (such as the touch of your hand on his shoulder or the smell of toothpaste from your breath) can be overwhelming for the child and risk disturbing him. If you want to make your child a good listener, don't hesitate to give him personal space.
- If your child seems to be pulling away or pushing you away, you need to get out of their personal space.
Step 3. Start the conversation with a statement
Autistic children can't always answer questions as simple as "How are you?" In some cases, such questions can actually intimidate them. Since autistic children need a longer process than the average person to string thoughts into sentences, try starting the conversation with light topics to make it easier for them.
- Try starting the conversation by praising the toy.
- Just leave a comment and watch the response.
- Again, start the conversation with a topic that interests him.
- Older children have a "script" already developed in their brain. As a result, he will also say the dialogue in the script when receiving questions. If this is the case for your child, try starting the conversation by asking, "How are you?" which will automatically be answered, “Good” by him. Opening a conversation with a question will not make the child feel stressed, especially if there is already a dialogue built up in his brain to respond to the question.
Step 4. Communicate the interest
After knowing your child's interests, it will be easier for you to create a conversation space with them. Believe me, children will find it easier to open up if they are invited to communicate topics that make them comfortable. That is why, you must be able to equalize the "frequency of communication" by finding topics that are considered relevant by children.
For example, your child may have a very big obsession with cars. As a result, the obsession can be a perfect topic to open a conversation with him
Step 5. Shorten sentences if you are communicating with a very young child or have difficulty processing verbal expressions
Most likely, short sentences can be processed by autistic children more easily and effectively.
- However, there are also autistic children who can process long sentences with ease. Therefore, do not treat all autistic children in a way that belittles their age.
- Some autistic children have difficulty processing verbal expressions. When faced with such a situation, try to communicate your message in writing. For example, write "Let's eat now, shall we." After that, he may reply to the message in writing or even verbally in a more effective way because he feels helped by the visual communication media.
- Non-verbal communication media can be the perfect tool to facilitate the interaction process between the two of you.
Step 6. Help the child process information with the help of pictures
Because autistic children tend to think visually, they are more likely to digest information with the help of pictures. Therefore, try to communicate your point with the help of simple diagrams, instructions, or pictures. These visual aids may help her understand your point better and more effectively.
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Arrange your child's schedule with visual aids.
- Describe his daily activities, starting from eating breakfast, going to school, coming home, playing, sleeping, etc. Add a description in the form of words if the child is also learning to read.
- This method will help him to complete daily activities in a structured way.
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If you want, you can also use stick figures to explain the activity. However, make sure you also add specific components that can highlight the uniqueness of each character.
For example, if you have red hair, try equipping a stick figure with this component so that your child can associate the figure with you
Step 7. Allow the child to process the information he receives
Most likely, you will need to use more pauses when communicating with an autistic child. The pause is important to help him process information better. Be patient and make sure you don't rush it. Let him process the information and provide responses in his own time.
- If he doesn't respond to your first question, don't rush into the second one so he doesn't get confused.
- Remember, the problem with children is the ability to process information, not intelligence. In fact, even highly intelligent people may have problems processing spoken expressions. Therefore, do not immediately assume that children have zero intelligence.
- Understand that children may not be able to make decisions quickly. Therefore, remind him as often as possible of his need to make decisions, but don't hesitate to give him as much time as possible to think.
- Be aware that the time it takes each child to process information varies greatly. If the child feels tired, of course the time it takes to process information will be longer when compared to when he is relaxed.
Step 8. Maintain language consistency, if necessary
You know that each phrase can be modified in various ways without risking changing its meaning. Unfortunately, autistic children cannot process these variations. That's why you should always use the same phrase to convey a certain point so that he doesn't get confused.
- For example, while sitting at the dinner table, you can ask other people for nuts in a dozen different ways. However, when speaking to an autistic child, it's best to stick to uniform, consistent phrases at all times.
- Remember, perfect consistency is nearly impossible. That's why there's no need to feel stressed if you don't use the same phrases all the time.
Step 9. Increase your sensitivity and don't take his silence to heart
If your child is reluctant to talk to you, try your best not to take it personally. Instead, approach the child with sensitivity. In other words, respect their boundaries while still making it clear that you'll always be there when they need them.
- Remember, you will never know the real reason behind his silence. For example, the child may feel lost in the moment or think that the environment around him is not conducive. Alternatively, the child is imagining something else at that moment.
- Respecting your child's feelings and boundaries is the most effective way to get him to open up to you.
- If other people try to talk to the child, this behavior may result in the child being viewed as antisocial or misunderstood as a form of disliking the child to the other person. In fact, most likely both assumptions are not true. Whatever the reason behind the child's behavior, make sure other people are also able to be sensitive to the child's situation.
Step 10. Take the information literally
Because autistic children have difficulty understanding figurative sentences, they will likely not be able to understand idioms, sarcasm, and humor easily. Therefore, make sure you always convey literal and specific information so that it can be more easily understood by him.
- Slowly, you can begin to introduce figurative sentences if he looks ready to accept the information.
- If your child seems confused, try paraphrasing or re-explaining the information presented. If you use a figurative sentence, explain its meaning. Don't worry, autistic children can learn the meaning of words and phrases that are new to them.
Method 2 of 3: Supporting the Ongoing Communication Process
Step 1. Deal with the difficult emotions that come up while trying to connect with an autistic child
Remember, there are significant differences between autistic and non-autistic people. If you are a nonautistic person, you will likely not be able to intuitively understand the thinking and behavior of an autistic child. As a result, frustration often arises! Don't worry, feeling frustrated is normal because it actually takes time, practice, and ongoing patience to understand autistic children better.
- Dogs and cats also have different behavior patterns, right? If you have a cat and are constantly worried that your pet cat isn't wagging its tail or digging a hole in the ground like a dog, you are likely to think of yourself as a bad employer. However, if you are willing to take the time to learn about the uniqueness of cats, sooner or later that understanding will surely build. If the analogy is applied to the case of an autistic child, instead of constantly blaming yourself or the child's condition, try to take the time to understand the child's uniqueness when compared to the people around him.
- Continue to pay attention to the child's body language and listen to personal stories that are voiced by the autistic child, then try to connect with both. Trust me, the situation will get easier as your practice increases.
- Consult a therapist if you are going through a difficult time.
Step 2. Be as involved as possible in the child care process
In other words, communicate regularly with the therapist, and make sure you always try to involve your child in conversations that you deem appropriate. Remember, children process information in different ways, so they may not be able to communicate in the way most people think is normal. Don't use this as an excuse to isolate him! Instead, involve yourself as much as possible in his life so that he feels even more motivated to participate actively in many things.
Step 3. Teach the autistic child basic social skills, such as making eye contact
Because an autistic child is different from a non-autistic child, he or she will most likely need extra help understanding the non-autistic people around him. In addition, he may also have difficulty understanding the various social norms that exist. That's why you need to teach nonauistic behaviors with the help of words, pictures, role-playing games, and/or books, to improve their interaction skills.
- Explain the difference between autistic and nonautistic people with non-judgmental language. For example, you might say, “Nonautistic people like to look each other in the eye, but autistic people may find it less comfortable to do so. When you look into other people's eyes, that person will think that you are a good listener and a polite person. If you feel uncomfortable, you can really pretend to look into his eyes when you're actually looking at his mouth or chin."
- Appreciate the uniqueness of the child's body language. Remember, your goal is not to train him to be nonautistic, but to help him understand different ways to get closer to other people.
Step 4. Ask what went wrong
Autistic children may not speak up if they are disturbed, either because they don't feel the need to do so, or because they think that the people around them will not care about their complaints. If you feel something is disturbing your child's comfort, try asking it. Encourage your child to improve their self-defense whenever possible!
- If he seems irritated, try asking, "What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?"
- Try to explain that you think something is wrong, then try asking questions. For example, “Why are you hiding behind a plant? Something makes you feel uncomfortable, huh?"
- Praise him for daring to voice his complaint. For example, try saying, “Thank you, for telling me that it was too loud. You are very smart, you know, because you want to tell the truth. Want to move to a quieter place?"
- Even if you can't change what made him angry, try to make him comfortable again and show you care to improve the situation.
Step 5. Always try to involve him
There will always be times when children want to be involved in various social activities, but find it difficult to do so. Be aware of these moments, and take the initiative to involve them. Trust me, this behavior will mean a lot to him!
- Ask the child's wishes. For example, he may want to play hide and seek with the other children. Or, he may feel the situation around him is too noisy and wants to play alone. Accommodate those desires and don't force children to do things they don't want to do!
- Written communication may be a better method for autistic children. Therefore, try encouraging your child to make online friends or exchange letters with their pen pals.
- Identify sensory boundaries. Autistic children may feel hesitant to involve themselves in an environment that feels less friendly to them. To overcome this, do not hesitate to make various necessary adjustments, such as reducing the volume of the music or providing a special corner for children to move in the environment.
Step 6. Communicate the best methods for interacting with autistic children to their teachers, caregivers, and other people who interact with them frequently
Make sure other adults around you understand your child's situation well! Only in this way can the long-term development of the child be guaranteed. Make sure you are also actively involved in the child's education process to ensure that the communication practices they receive are consistent.
If you want, you can also show them this and other relevant wikiHow articles
Method 3 of 3: Understanding the Uniqueness of Autistic Children
Step 1. Realize that autistic children have a different view of the world around them
The autistic child's perspective on the world around him will certainly be different from most people. When they have difficulty interpreting something, they tend to have difficulty speaking, listening, and understanding information. However, understand that these differing perspectives are unique and may benefit the world around them!
For example, some autistic children tend to have difficulty understanding verbal information so they prefer to communicate through writing. In the future, the ability to voice opinions through these writings can encourage them to write novels or articles that are meaningful and useful for the people around them, you know! As a result, the world can be transformed into a more fun and information-rich place for everyone
Step 2. Don't take a lack of interest as a personal attack on you
Remember, autistic children tend to be very focused on the things that interest them. As a result, they seem to have zero interest in other topics. Remember, the situation is not a sign of disliking you, but rather a lack of engagement with topics that are irrelevant to them. In very extreme cases, some autistic children will not even show interest in any topic!
Get used to reading his body language. Some autistic children are used to staring in different directions, moving their limbs constantly, or not speaking a word when focused. In other words, they may show interest in a different way than the average person
Step 3. Understand that autistic children may have different social sensitivities than the average person
For example, an autistic child may not realize that his behavior is really rude, that you are feeling down, or that you even want to talk to him. If you feel a sense of social sensitivity is missing from him, be clear about it, and use the information to help him behave more appropriately.
Step 4. Understand that autistic children may not know how to engage in social situations
Even if he wants to participate in various activities, his lack of social skills may prevent him from doing so. That is why, autistic children generally need to be trained to initiate the communication process better.
Autistic children often socialize in their own way. Therefore, you have to find out more effective ways to involve them more in various social activities
Step 5. Be patient with her limited verbal abilities
Remember, having limited verbal skills doesn't necessarily prevent them from learning. In fact, most autistic children have sharp intelligence and good adaptability to new knowledge. Most importantly, you need to be able to teach the information in a language he understands, and remember that he has unique abilities that shouldn't be ignored.
- Children with speech delays can receive significant benefits from alternative and augmentative communication media as early as 18 months of age. Armed with these media, they can learn to communicate more easily and may catch up in a shorter time.
- Some autistic children have difficulty finding the right words. Be patient and don't hesitate to ask questions to understand what he really means.
