Children with autism and Asperger's are often hysterical (meltdown). Hysterical occurs when a child is stressed, disappointed, or overstimulated. Hysterics can be dangerous for children and scary for parents. Thus, it is important to develop effective ways to deal with hysterics and minimize their chances of occurrence.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Calming Children When Hysterical
Step 1. Be calm and calm
During hysteria, the child feels confused, restless, frustrated, depressed, or frightened. Hysterical triggered by negative emotions.
- Therefore, yelling, yelling, or hitting the child will not improve and will only make the situation worse.
- During hysteria, children really need the opportunity to relax. Therefore, you should respond patiently and lovingly.
Step 2. Offer a hug
A tight hug provides deep pressure that helps the child feel calm and safe. A tight bear hug will help your child feel better.
Do not force a hug on the child or hold him or her. The child will become increasingly stressed, especially if the child is already feeling depressed. Children can panic and take it out on you
Step 3. Let the child out of this situation
Go outside, return to a quiet corner, or go to the nursery to help the autistic child calm down.
- Most hysterics are due to sensory overload, a phenomenon that occurs when there is too much stimulation and a person becomes depressed. Leave this situation to relieve the child's excessive stimulation so that he can recover.
- The duration of the quiet time depends on the severity of the stress and the child's needs. Mild hysterics may take a few minutes of quiet time, while more severe hysterics may take 15 minutes or more.
Step 4. Learn the difference between hysterical and whining
Hysterical is an involuntary reaction to stress or unmet needs, and the autistic person will feel ashamed and guilty afterwards. The whining is intentional and has a purpose (e.g. eating a snack or playing more time).
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What did your child achieve?
If it's clear your child has a "want," it means he's whining. If your child has a need (e.g. leaving a noisy store), releases accumulated stress, or his motivation can't be identified, the child is hysterical and he didn't do it on purpose.
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Does the child do it to seek attention?
Children who whine will make sure their behavior is seen by their parents/caregivers. A hysterical child has almost no control and can feel embarrassed by being hysterical in front of other people.
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Is the child at risk of injuring himself?
A whining child will be careful not to hurt himself. The hysterical child has no control to protect himself.
Step 5. Get ready for the hysterics to come
While you can reduce the number of hysterics, it's impossible to completely stop them. Therefore, you should always be prepared.
- Prepare a plan to get your child out of a stressful situation. Where can children go to feel safe?
- Make sure there is an active phone nearby in case you need to call someone.
- Provide things that your child can use to calm down: earplugs, a beanbag for deep pressure, sunglasses, a vibrating doll, calming items, or anything else your child would normally need.
- If the child has a history of violence, immediately keep potentially dangerous objects out of the child's reach.
Step 6. Ask for help if needed
If you don't know how to deal with hysterics, or if you feel too stressed to respond gently, ask someone who can handle it, such as a parent, older sibling, friend, or therapist, just anyone your child trusts and cares about. Call them or have someone pick them up. Don't leave a depressed child alone while you ask for help as this will only make his anxiety worse.
avoid contacting the police unless there is a severe and urgent safety threat. The police can use excessive effort and traumatize the child or even kill him. This has happened before
Method 2 of 3: Preventing Hysterics
Step 1. Continue to monitor your child's body language
Before hysterical, children will usually appear stressed or anxious. If experiencing excessive sensory input, children usually close their eyes, ears, or curl up. Upset stimming, or difficulty performing activities that would normally be accomplished easily, may also occur. Autistic children who are restless can withdraw or act, depending on each individual.
Ask the child why he is nervous
Step 2. Get the child out of the stressful situation
Monitor sensory input and more. Maybe you can ask a sibling to play outside, or take the child out of a noisy kitchen.
- Try getting your child involved in physical activities that will help him expend energy, such as walking, gardening, or anything else that is mentally restorative.
- Try taking your child out of the house or in a quiet room so they can calm down. Bedrooms, quiet corners, and even bathrooms can be used if you have to.
Step 3. Don't blame the child for being hysterical
Hysterical is very difficult to control, and the child may already feel disappointed because it is hysterical. Don't yell, accuse her on purpose, or record behavior to teach her how "naughty" the child is. This only makes the child feel embarrassed.
If your child doesn't do anything unacceptable during a hysterical state (such as hitting or yelling at someone who is trying to help), let them know that you're upset about a "certain act." For example, “We are not an abusive family.” or "I understand why you're upset, but you shouldn't yell at a waitress like that. You make her feel sad. Next time, signal when you're feeling down so I can take you out right away."
Step 4. Take time to have fun
This will help the child feel relaxed, and ready to cope with difficult changes or stimuli.
- Give children time outdoors. Let children explore the outdoors, swim, play basketball, run, play on the swings, and whatever children enjoy. This will help the child feel calm and increase his tolerance for sensory input.
- Make free time for children. Children can read, play with toys, run, or do whatever they love. Fun times when your child doesn't need a particular project or learn a new skill, helps the child to calm down. In addition, the child will be busy alone so you can have time for yourself.
Step 5. Discuss calming methods together
Children don't like hysterics, and may want to know how to deal with stress. Here are some examples to suggest to children:
- Counting (forward, backward, multiple of two, multiple of ten, multiple of seven, depending on child's math skills)
- Deep breathing
- Say "I'm feeling down and need a break" and then walk away
- Make a signal to signal the child needs to get out (especially if the child can't talk during hysterics)
Step 6. Use positive support
When your child uses good hysterical coping mechanisms, offer genuine praise. Let him know that you are very proud of his behavior and good work. Try to emphasize good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior.
Step 7. Use a star chart
Make a chart of stars to hang in the kitchen or child's room. Use a green star for every successful implementation of a stress management mechanism, and a blue star for every hysterical treatment attempt (even if it fails). Use a red star for any uncontrolled or hysterical whining. Support the child to turn the red star into a blue or green star.
- Never be ashamed when children fail to control hysterics. Chances are, the child also feels embarrassed because he can't control his feelings. Explain that hysterics is unavoidable to some degree, so the goal is to do better, not do it perfectly.
- If the child looks agitated because of getting a red or blue star, remove the chart (especially if the child is diagnosed with anxiety disorder). This is a symptom of perfectionism, which can be very dangerous.
Method 3 of 3: Understanding the Cause of Hysterical
Step 1. Watch for overstimulation or a stressful environment for the child
Children with autism are not able to control the environment and activities that are intensive and overly stimulating.
- too much activity or noise in the child's environment can make the child depressed.
- The child then has difficulty coping with overstimulation and triggers hysterics.
Step 2. Be aware of communication problems
Children with autism may struggle to communicate well, or in a way that other people can understand. This can make the child feel frustrated.
- Children who do not find a way to deal with the emotions that are bubbling up, will eventually lose control.
- Respect all forms of communication, whether spoken, written, body language, and behavior. Children tend to get hysterical if they feel that's the only way to get your attention.
- Try not to stress the child with information (especially verbal information). The child may not be able to process the number of words, feel panicky, and hysterical. It's a good idea to insert pauses, break them down into steps, or complete them with visual aids (such as lists) to help your child keep track of things.
Step 3. Teach your child to communicate his thoughts and feelings to others
This will help your child express his needs and prevent him from holding back too much. Listening carefully to your child's communication will show you care about what he's saying, and encourage your child to talk to you more.
- Consider creating a “secret cue” that your child can use when feeling stressed or stressed. If your child gives these cues, you will help the child out of the situation.
- Praise your child for demonstrating good communication skills: asking for help, expressing needs, setting boundaries, etc.
Step 4. Listen to the child regularly
Ask questions like “How are you doing?” and "What do you think?" Try to understand first, and think about the decision later. This will help your child trust you and seek you out when feeling down.
- To teach a child against a prohibition, listen when the child forbids you. If your child knows that “concerts scare me” is a valid reason not to go to concerts, your child will also understand that “walking around scares you” is a valid reason not to run around.
- If you can't comply with the ban, try to compromise and provide an explanation. For example, if your child doesn't like the upholstery, find out why, and if there's a way to fix it, (such as covering it with a pillow). Explain that something must be done, the seat must be used for safety. Thus, the child knows that the prohibition exists for a good reason.
- Never punish a child for coming to bring trouble, even if the problem is bad. Instead, help the child fix it, and explain what the child should do. If you have to fix something, ask what the child thinks is fair to do. This way, your child understands that he can talk to you anything.
Step 5. Avoid getting too far away from your child's normal routine
Autistic children rely on routine to have a sense of security and stability. For children, changing routines will be like changing the laws of the universe, and children are likely to be confused and panicked.
- When there is a change in routine, it is best to explain it to the child as soon as possible. For example, if you have to go to the airport the next day, say the day before, the morning before, and before getting in the car. Thus, the child has the opportunity to prepare emotions.
- Try using a daily and monthly schedule. Laminate it so you can write down the changes with a marker. If necessary, provide pictures to help the child visualize what will happen.
Step 6. Be careful not to mix the child's hands
Sometimes, the intervention of others that the child does not expect or want can cause hysterics. Children expect those around them to respect their need to be independent and do things on their own.
- For example, your child may want to spread butter on his bread. If you take the knife from his hand, the child may feel disturbed and start crying.
- From the outside, this may seem trivial, but it has a significant impact on the child. This may start as a whimper, and lead to hysterics. Therefore, it is best to let the children do it themselves.
- Many parents let their children do certain tasks, and ask “Do you need help?” if the child seems troubled. This way, children can make their own choices and learn how to ask for help when needed.
Tips
- Autism is not an excuse for rudeness and rudeness. If your child yells at someone else, or acts rudely, say firmly that the behavior is not acceptable. Tell the child it's okay to vent on a pillow or bolster, and take a deep breath and leave instead of staying and yelling at someone else
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Self-injurious stimulation often comes from numbness sensations. Chances are, your child doesn't want to hurt themselves, so you can offer ways to prevent pain. For example, place a pillow on your thigh to prevent bruising, or let your child rest their head on the back of a rocking chair so it doesn't hurt too much.
Notice if the child needs to feel pain. For example, a child who bites his hand may only need to bite something, and only his arm is available to be bitten. See if you can use a replacement steam, such as a padded bracelet
- If you want your child not to do something, state what the child can do instead. Knowing surrogate behavior helps children to deal with their feelings in a harmless way.
Warning
- Do not restrain a frightened or physically stressed child. This will exacerbate the excess sensory input, and cause him to be even more hysterical to free himself.
- Never stop a child from stimulating during a hysterical state. Stimming is a very useful coping mechanism and helps with self-control and reduces the severity of hysterics.
