At some point, everyone will definitely need help from someone else. In fact, sometimes a person is required to have good persuasion skills so that other people are willing to grant his request. Feel less good at persuasive communication? Do not worry! This article contains various powerful tips for persuading others such as communicating effectively, listening effectively, and creating a conducive situation so that persuasion efforts can be more easily carried out. Remember, it takes a high enough confidence to master these abilities! Are you ready to learn it?
Step
Method 1 of 3: Communicating Effectively
Step 1. Describe the setting of the situation
Humans have a natural tendency to be influenced by personal stories. Therefore, before making your request, try to start by providing a coherent narrative or setting of the situation. Why did you ask for it? What are the personal and emotional elements associated with this need? Trust me, sharing this information can increase the success rate of your persuasion efforts in an instant.
- Tell everything honestly! Remember, your needs don't arise without a reason. Feel free to explain the reasons and any accompanying situations.
- There's nothing wrong with adding a little "spice" to make your story sound more dramatic. What are the obstacles you face? What keeps you on your feet despite all the obstacles? What is the role of your perseverance, intelligence, or passion in it?
Step 2. Use the concepts of ethos, pathos, and logos
According to Aristotle, there are three pillars of persuasive communication, namely ethos (speaker credibility), pathos (emotional involvement), and logos (logic involvement). When communicating with the person you are trying to persuade, try to include information about your credibility, present logical arguments, and find ways to provoke their emotions.
- Affirm your credibility. How long have you worked in the field or how long have you researched related investment options? The result is a representation of the concept of ethos.
- Present your logical argument. How can this situation benefit you and them? The conclusion is a representation of the concept of logos.
- Encourage them to be willing to invest their emotions. How much does their help mean to you? The answer is a representation of the concept of pathos.
Step 3. Submit your requests in the right order
Generally, humans have a tendency to seduce people whose help they need before expressing their wishes. Unfortunately, this method can actually have the opposite effect because your seduction can actually be interpreted as an attempt to ask for help that is not sincere. Instead, try to be honest and straightforward with your request first, then follow through with a nice, positive tone.
- Instead of saying, "Wow, long time no see, here. Congratulations on your recent career success! Oh yeah, may I ask your help for one of my projects?”
- Try saying, “Hello! Can I have your help with one of my projects? By the way, we haven't seen each other in a long time, huh! Congratulations on your recent career success."
- Uniquely, the second method actually makes your speech sound more sincere in the ears of others!
Step 4. Don't ask them to make a decision
In general, humans are not fond of making decisions because even the simplest of options can trigger their stress. Therefore, do not give options to the other person. Instead, simply state your needs clearly and concisely, and try to persuade them to make it easier for them to fulfill them.
- If you need someone's help moving furniture into your new apartment, just clearly state the time, date, and what things you need.
- Don't offer flexible times or multiple options! Trust me, the situation can actually trigger stress and encourage him to refuse your request.
Step 5. Speak firmly and directly
In fact, people can more easily respond to declarative and positive statements. Therefore, don't be convoluted, and convey your point firmly and clearly.
Instead of saying, "Don't hesitate to call me," try saying, "Call me on Friday, okay?"
Method 2 of 3: Listening Effectively
Step 1. Start with a casual and simple topic
Try starting the conversation with a relaxed and friendly topic to lighten the mood between you and the other person. In fact, persuasion will be easier to do if the other person is in a relaxed state.
- Find out more about their lives. Take this opportunity to bridge one topic to another. For example, you could ask about their recently married child, their new home, or their recent accomplishments at work.
- Ask a question. If they say, “I want a vacation, man,” ask them various questions about the vacation destination they want to visit.
Step 2. Observe their body language
One of the easiest ways to build an emotional attachment to someone is to imitate their body language. To do this, try noticing their body expressions and implicitly imitating them. In fact, imitating someone's body language is a nonverbal signal that means, "We are in line".
- If they smile, smile too.
- If they are leaning towards you, lean towards them too.
- If they take up a lot of personal space when sitting or standing, do the same.
Step 3. Make an effort to listen more than talk
Humans naturally have a tendency to prefer talking to listening. In fact, being an active listener can encourage the other person to be more comfortable and open up to you, you know! The more opportunities they have to talk, the more important details they will tell you. Trust me, no matter how small the details they provide can actually be a tool for you to persuade them.
- Don't be too quick to return the ball to you. If they're telling a vacation story, don't be too quick to interrupt by describing a vacation idea that appeals to you.
- Ask follow-up questions and listen carefully to their responses.
- Pay special attention to adjectives that indicate their interest or liking for something, such as “cool” or “special”.
Step 4. Let them finish your words
Sometimes, the other person can feel cornered if they receive a direct question from you. To avoid this, try combining the conventional questioning pattern with the “fill in the blank” pattern.
- Instead of asking, “How do you feel after buying a new car?” try saying, “After buying a new car, you feel…”
- Give them space to finish your words.
Step 5. Slowly, lead the conversation toward “needs”
By being an active listener, you should be able to understand what they like and/or get their attention. Use those “needs” to determine how you can help them, so they can do the same.
- For example, you might ask, "What can we do to make your day more enjoyable?"
- Try first to share your needs so that they are encouraged to do the same. For example, you could say, “I really wish my co-workers would hear my ideas,” to find out if there are interpersonal problems in their lives.
Method 3 of 3: Building a Communication Background
Step 1. Choose the right interlocutor
Chances are, there will always be some people willing to grant your wish. So how do you identify these people? In general, the people who are most likely to be persuaded are people with whom you have a fairly strong personal connection, people who are emotionally stable, and/or people who also need something from you. At least, aim for two of the three conditions above.
Step 2. Wait until lunch time arrives
In fact, humans can open up more if their stomachs are full. After all, you often feel more irritable, anxious, and think negatively when your stomach is hungry, right? Therefore, the chances of a persuasion attempt to succeed are greater if it is done right after lunch.
Step 3. Help them, so they too can do the same
Returns are a powerful way to build trust and strengthen a relationship. If you know you're going to ask someone else for a big favor, at least help them first. If they look like they need help, even for something as simple as washing the dishes, don't hesitate to offer help! This way, they will be more willing to repay your kindness in the future.
Step 4. Choose the right conversation location
Research shows that humans tend to form a formal and professional mindset (economical, selfish, and/or aggressive) in an environment that also seems formal and professional. Therefore, try to move the other person's mood and mindset in a more relaxed direction by asking him to speak in a private location, such as in a coffee shop, restaurant, or even at your home, instead of in a meeting room.
Step 5. Practice your words beforehand
To sound more convincing, show that you really know the topic at hand. Of course, you can't do it if you don't have a lot of confidence, right? That's why, you need to first practice the words that will be spoken in advance. For example, you can practice alone in front of a mirror or simulate conversations with those closest to you.
Tips
- Show your courtesy.
- Don't be too pushy.
- To make it easier for the other person to convince you, do your best to transfer your emotions to him.
Warning
- Don't get too emotional.
- Show that you believe in what is being done.
- Show determination, not despair. Believe me, someone who looks desperate will not be able to attract anyone's attention.
- If persuasion fails, don't complain or blame yourself. Be careful, you can get depressed because of it.
