Admit that, no matter how independent you are, there will always be times when you need help from others. For example, you may want to ask for an item that is still owned by a friend, or feel the need to convince investors to invest their money as your business capital. That's why, you must have the ability to persuade others! In other words, learn tips for communicating your wishes systematically and confidently, and for deepening your relationship with the person in question. Once he is able to trust you, your wish will surely come true more easily!
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Method 1 of 3: Start Conversations Smartly
Step 1. Wait for the right moment
Time is a very important determining factor when you have to cooperate with others. If the person is in a bad mood, he or she is likely to be more indifferent and uncooperative. That's why, your request should be made when the mood is good.
- Or, you can also do it when he's feeling tired. When tired, a person will find it difficult to evaluate the requests of others. As a result, he will be easier to grant your wishes in these conditions!
- For example, if you want to ask your boss for a promotion at work, make sure you do it at the right time. Don't enter his room on a Monday morning!
Step 2. Provide detailed background information
Help him understand your desire by explaining the reasons behind it. Show that you are not making the request without consideration, and that you are willing to inform him to complete his understanding.
For example, try to say to your sister, “Ugh, last week I spent too much money, here. So now I'm trying to fix the budget. Can I borrow money to buy gas? You can ask for anything, after that."
Step 3. Make requests politely
If your tone sounds too demanding, it's likely that the other person will be even more hesitant to accept it, especially since most people don't like being "forced." Therefore, show your courtesy and respect for him by using friendly diction, such as “please” and “thank you”.
For example, you could say, “Can I ask you a favor? Do you think you mind if I ask for excess tickets to your concert? Because I really like that band. Besides, it seems like it would be fun if we could travel together.”
Step 4. Make specific requests
A request that sounds ambiguous will be more difficult to grant, especially since the other person will have a hard time understanding what you really want. Therefore, always convey your wishes clearly, even if you are sure the other person will give a positive response.
For example, you could ask, "When are you going to promote me to Assistant President Director?" instead of "Do you think I deserve to be promoted?"
Step 5. Be patient
In general, there are two reasons that require you to be patient. First, he will probably grant your wish at some point. Second, even if you don't get your wish in the end, you're more likely to need to ask him for something else in the future.
If your neighbor refuses to build a fence on the land you both share, try to be patient and ask him to reconsider the decision instead of getting angry
Method 2 of 3: Building Positive Relationships
Step 1. Show that you can be trusted
Remember, the person must be able to trust you! If you don't, chances are that he won't want to grant your wish. Therefore, try to earn his trust from a long time ago.
To get your mother to lend you her car, earn her trust long ago by following all her rules, getting good academic grades, and doing your household chores well
Step 2. Meet the person's needs
Remember, humans tend to prioritize their own desires over the wishes of others. That's why, they will find it easier to grant your wishes if they feel you are able to meet their needs. So don't hesitate to help him move house, teach him a new skill, or be by his side when he needs a shoulder to lean on. The better your ability to cultivate the relationship, the more likely it is to grant your wish.
If you want to borrow your roommate's favorite sweater, try helping her clean the bathroom before making the request
Step 3. Focus on the benefits the person will get
Remember, how you deliver is much more important than what you say. Therefore, focus on explaining the benefits that the person will get if they are willing to grant your wish. As a result, it will be more difficult for him to refuse the desire!
For example, you might say, "Just think, if you buy me a car, I can help you shop on the weekends, you know."
Step 4. Get to know the person better
The closer the relationship between the two of you, the more likely it is to grant your wish. If your relationship isn't that close, try taking the time to improve it. As a result, you will also be helped to gain his trust and understand better communication patterns with him.
For example, if you want to ask a coworker for something at work, try getting closer to him. If he's seen posting a photo of a cat on his desk, try talking to him about your cat
Step 5. Spend time with the person
Chances are, you already know him quite well, but don't feel too familiar with him yet. Therefore, try to spend more quality time with him, so that he feels valued and cared for by you.
- Take him to lunch together. At that moment, don't hesitate to ask questions about his personal life.
- Be a good listener. Listen to every word that comes out of his mouth, and ask follow-up questions to show your interest.
Method 3 of 3: Convey Your Wishes Confidently
Step 1. Relax
No one will look confident if their body and mind are burdened by excessive stress. Therefore, try to show a calm and controlled attitude and behavior so that the person will be able to trust you and be willing to grant your wishes. Try to take deep breaths and relax before facing the other person.
If you want, you can also say positive self-affirmations before the conversation. For example, say to your reflection in the mirror, “I deserve a raise. I will also be confident and remain polite when making the request later."
Step 2. Prepare yourself
Take the time to sort out everything you want to say. If necessary, write them down on a piece of paper. For example, if you want to borrow some things from a friend, try writing them down so you don't forget to borrow anything.
If you wish, you can also include the reasons behind the desire and the benefits for both of you
Step 3. Speak clearly and directly
Avoid meaningless mutterings like, “mmm” to make your request sound more to the point, and you'll appear more confident afterwards. Also, summarize your request in clear and concise sentences.
