You can't always control the feelings you have for other people. Even if you don't want to, maybe you have a crush on a woman who already has a boyfriend. Trying to find out if your feelings for him are reciprocated can get you into a tricky situation.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Watching His Actions
Step 1. Recognize the limitations of physical touch
See if he has “broken” the boundaries of physical touch with you. If so, find out if his touch is just a sign of friendliness or flirting. He may just touch your shoulder like a friend, or he may flirt with you because he is attracted to you. If he touches you often, there's a good chance he's actually flirting with you.
- The duration of the touch or physical contact is an aspect to determine whether the touch contains seduction or just shows hospitality. Does the touch he gives go quickly, or does he touch you longer?
- The touched part can also signify the meaning of the touch itself. A touch on the shoulder may reflect regular physical contact, such as between friends. Meanwhile, a touch of the hand or face may indicate interest.
- Pay attention to whether he reciprocates your touch or physical contact. If you hug him from the side and he leans on you, there's a good chance he likes you. If he seems uncomfortable and distant, he probably doesn't feel the same way about you.
Step 2. Pay attention to his body language
If he gives you space when he talks to you, there's a good chance he doesn't like you. If he's positioning his body towards you and pointing his feet at you, there's a good chance he's attracted to you. Some women sometimes feel nervous when around the man she likes. If he touches his hair or neck, there's a good chance he feels restless and nervous around you, and may be attracted to you.
Step 3. Pay attention to his eye contact
Some women often stare at the man they like. If he likes you, he can't help but look at you. If you feel that he often makes eye contact when you talk to him, there's a good chance he's attracted to you. If you know that he gets shy and nervous easily, he may be showing the opposite and won't look at you at all. However, it can also show that he likes you.
Step 4. Pay attention to his attitude when he is with his girlfriend
If he shows a big smile every time he is with his girlfriend, it may be a sign that you need to stay away from him. If she always seems sad when she's with him, there may be room in her heart to develop her feelings for someone else. By paying attention to his attitude when he is with his girlfriend, you can find out how he feels about you. However, it may also mean nothing. If he seems sad when he's with him, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love him or wants to be in a relationship with you.
Method 2 of 3: Assessing Conversation
Step 1. Pay attention to his sense of humor
If he always seems serious when he's with you, he probably doesn't like you. It may also mean that she's shy or isn't a humorous person, although women usually like to crack jokes when they're with a guy she likes. If he seems genuinely enjoying his time with you (e.g. teasing, joking, or laughing at your jokes), there's a good chance he likes you.
Step 2. Think about what he is talking to you about
If your conversations with him are just never far from small, everyday conversations (e.g. “How was your weekend?” or “It's really hot today.”), he may not like you. However, it may also indicate that he is nervous about asking more in-depth questions. If he asks you questions about your life and the things you're interested in, and tells you the same about him, there's a good chance he's interested in you.
Step 3. Pay attention when he talks about his girlfriend
If he never brings up the topic of his girlfriend or only talks bad things about him, there's a good chance his feelings for her are starting to fade. If he keeps telling you about how perfect he is in his eyes, he may not like you. However, the situation can be complicated because it is possible for a person to have feelings for more than one person.
If he said, “Budi bought me roses yesterday and we're going out to dinner together tonight! He is the best lover!”, there is a possibility that he doesn't like you. However, if he says, "Budi and I had a big fight last night because we don't do activities together anymore," he may not want to be in a relationship with his girlfriend anymore
Step 4. Pay attention when he talks to you
If he makes an effort to talk to you and give you attention, he probably likes you. Does he quicken his pace to catch up and chat with you, or does he only talk to you when the two of you are near each other? If he seems to be trying to talk and show he cares for you, there's a good chance he likes you.
Step 5. Look at the messages you and he sent
Pay attention to online chats, not just live chats. If he never texts or posts on Snapchat, he probably doesn't like you (though he probably doesn't because he already has a girlfriend). If he's always texting you or taking photos of his daily activities or asking how you're doing, he may be interested in you. If he only texts once a month about school or work, he probably doesn't like you.
Method 3 of 3: Telling Her About Your Feelings
Step 1. Define what you mean
If you want to ask about his feelings for you, determine what you want first. Do you just want to enjoy one night's love with him and never contact him again, or are you actually in love with him? If you don't have genuine feelings for him, your pursuit will only be a waste of your time and effort. If you do love him, it might be a good idea to ask him about his feelings for you.
Step 2. Throw a tantrum for him
Don't immediately ask about his feelings for you. First, pitch in to show your interest. Be yourself and throw jokes. Give him compliments and ask questions about him. Smile when you see him and make eye contact. Try breaking the boundaries of physical contact by finding "reasons" to nudge him or touch his arm. Be a sincere person, not a person full of falsehood.
Step 3. Express your interest
If you feel like you've built a relationship with him and are sure he will reciprocate your feelings, ask him how he feels about you. This may be stressful and put a lot of pressure on you, but it's worth trying it so you can get a clear answer. Show confidence, but also show understanding that this is a sensitive situation and can make him feel awkward. Even though he has been flirting or flirting, it doesn't mean that he has to stop loving his lover.
- Try saying, for example, “I know you already have a boyfriend, and I don't want to get in the way, but I just want you to know that I have feelings for you. I understand that you are already attached to someone, but I want you to know that if you are not attached to anyone, I would like to date you.”
- Give him plenty of time to think about what you're saying and direct his feelings.
Step 4. Back off if necessary
If he says he's not interested in you, he really isn't. Leave him and let him be happy with his lover. Continuing to pursue her is rude and impudent. Give him as much space as he wants or needs you to forget about him. If you're both comfortable with the relationship you are in, rekindle the relationship as friends.
Tips
- If he doesn't like you, there are plenty of other girls who might like you.
- When flirting, show your friendliness and sincerity.
- Don't immediately assume that if he does something that sounds like a "seduction," he has feelings for you.
