The relationship between parents and children plays an important role in a person's life. As one of the first bonds that children have, relationships with parents become the benchmark for relationships with other people later in life. A positive parent-child relationship fosters independence, curiosity, self-esteem, and the ability to make better decisions. Try to improve your relationship with your child by participating in his life and strengthening communication with him. Also, don't forget to learn to harmonize parent-child relationships as you get older.
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Part 1 of 3: Participating in Children's Lives
Step 1. Put yourself on the same level as the child
You can improve your relationship with your child through age-appropriate interactions. Think of ways to teach lessons, work on projects and play at the child's ability level. This will allow your child to bond with you and will make you more approachable.
- If you have a toddler, sit on the floor and build a city out of toy blocks. If your child is older or in your teens, consider playing a video game together.
- It's easier to have a conversation during an activity like this than it is to try to have a dialogue over dinner.
Step 2. Emphasize the importance of family time
While your child needs to understand that you recognize and respect him or her as a person, it is important to instill the importance of the family as an inseparable unit. Make family time a regular and special routine.
Try to have dinner with the family every night if possible and ask everyone to share the good and bad experiences of the day. Go to sporting events, movies, or community events together
Step 3. Dedicate time to personal communication with each child
Spending time together as a team is very important. However, don't forget to schedule a specific time for each child. Dedicating time to heart-to-heart talks with children can help form bonds with each child. In addition, you get the opportunity to focus on each child's strengths and talents.
Build closeness with each child through the same hobby. For example, you could teach one of your kids how to fish on the weekends or practice piano with another. Set aside time each week to build a special relationship with each child
Step 4. Involve yourself with your child's academic, friendship, and extracurricular activities
Parents who have good relationships with children will be actively involved in their lives. Don't expect you to have a good relationship with your child by just saying "good morning" and "good night" every day.
- There is no doubt that parents are busy with work and other tasks, but you should make an effort to get to know your child and find out what is going on in their life.
- If you have free time, offer to participate in school activities, coach the futsal team, or meet with your child's teacher regularly to check on your child's academic performance.
- Sit next to the children while they do their homework. Help them memorize lines for a school play. Have the children invite their friends so you know what kind of influence the child has had.
Step 5. Invite the child to joke
Let your child know that things between the two of you shouldn't always be serious. Of course, you want them to respect your authority, but you have to be able to laugh with them. A sense of humor can brighten up a child's life and create wonderful memories.
Make silly faces or weird sounds with younger children so that eating or playing doesn't get boring. Try acting silly in front of your teen by joking or telling jokes
Part 2 of 3: Maintaining Positive Communication
Step 1. Be trustworthy
As a parent, it is important to build a trusting relationship with your child. Trust can be expressed in a variety of parenting roles. Children need to know that they can count on you for everything. If you say you will do something, do it. Always keep your promises. This allows the child to form the basic concept of attachment that will influence other relationships in the future.
- However, trust also means respecting your child's need for privacy and keeping his secrets when he shares them with you.
- However, trust doesn't mean you have to believe everything your child says, but it does mean you will try and give him/her trust until proven otherwise.
Step 2. Try practicing active listening without distractions
Parents are often busy, but you also need to make sure your child knows you care about what he or she has to say. Even if he complains about the same problems at school or continues to rant about the turmoils of teenage life, try to give him your full attention. If you actively listen to your child, you will strengthen your relationship with your child and show how important it is to you.
- Set the silent mode on the phone and turn off the TV. Don't ignore the child just to prepare your answer. Listen carefully to what your child is saying and try to understand the message he is trying to convey. Turn your face towards him. Make eye contact. Use open body language. When listening, don't judge or make negative facial expressions.
- Try summarizing what you heard after the child finished speaking. For example, if your daughter says, "All the girls at school are going to this camp next week, but we have to go to that boring wedding!" You could say, "I think you're upset that you can't go camping."
Step 3. Apply the 3 main principles of effective parenting
Every child tries to push the boundaries a little bit in terms of communication and behavior. However, as an adult, you should try to respond to bad behavior in a calm and mature manner. Applying the 3 main principles can help you enforce discipline and protect the overall parent-child relationship.
- Be firm. Explain the consequences of certain behaviors and apply them consistently.
- Be fair. Make sure the punishment is commensurate with the wrong done. Try not to apply consequences that are excessive or too severe.
- Be friendly. Speak your words in a strong and polite tone. You simply explain the offense he committed and tell what the consequences will be. Don't forget to praise your child when he does good things.
Step 4. Sit side by side and have a relaxed conversation
Teenagers are easily intimidated if the communication is done face to face. To reduce the pressure in the conversation, you can prepare the discussion side by side. Try asking your son about bullying that happened at school while you were driving him to soccer practice. Ask your daughter if there is a guy she has a crush on while the two of you are baking cookies in the kitchen.
Take advantage of this moment to really learn to know your child. To build a meaningful relationship with anyone, you must take the time to get to know each other by knowing what their interests, preferences, hobbies, and so on. Building relationships with children also applies the same principles. Have a discussion with the child in a cheerful, cheerful atmosphere, while joking, but at the same time show that you respect him and reassure the child that what he is talking about is important to you. Don't forget to tell what your own interests, likes, and background are. Focus on something you both share an interest in. Children may feel involved and open up in discussions like this
Part 3 of 3: Changing Relationships Over Time
Step 1. Review the rules and give your child more freedom as they get older
It is important to review the rules and guidelines that have been made and change them if necessary as the child ages. Your child should see that you trust him or her to take on more responsibilities as they get older. At the same time, he must also know that greater responsibility also means more serious consequences if he is negligent.
Encourage the child to cooperate by sitting with him or her to discuss the rules. You might say, “You seem to have a hard time following the rules for getting home before nine o'clock. Since you're older, I thought we could extend it by an hour. What do you think?"
Step 2. Involve children in decision making
Teenagers who see their parents sincerely want their opinion will have a very extraordinary feeling. Many parents make decisions unilaterally without letting their children contribute their opinions. However, as children grow into teens and young adults, letting them have their say can train them toward independence.
- Let older children have more freedom in choosing clothes, food, activities, or vacation plans. You can ask your teen for their opinion on how to handle family matters to show that you respect their point of view.
- For example, you could say, "Dimas, what movie do you think would be a good movie for a family watch this weekend?" or "Where should we go on the school holidays?"
Step 3. Motivate your child to face challenges and be independent
If your child has a strong relationship with you, he will get the strength to face challenges from the environment around him. Provide support to the child, while encouraging him to develop greater self-efficacy over time.
- This may mean that you have to let your teen do his own laundry to prepare him for the routine of life at university. However, it may also mean that you have to teach your child to defend himself against bullying or to express opinions politely to a teacher who grades him unfairly.
- Empowerment is obtained through progressive teaching. You must teach your child how to complete larger and more demanding tasks. Try simulating a stressful situation and how he handled it. Then, provide input to help its development in the future.
Step 4. Open up and show your human side
As your child gets older, it's natural for you to want to show a different side of yourself apart from being a parent, which is the human side. In fact, showing children the human side can reinforce learning. Share personal, age-appropriate experiences to help them find ways to grow and learn better.
