If your child isn't usually introverted and shy, it may be a sign that he or she has been the victim of sexual abuse. You need to look for warning signs that violence or abuse may be happening to your child, and talk to your child about whether he or she is experiencing inappropriate physical contact. Of course, the best way to help your child if he or she is being sexually abused is to act quickly. Take a look at step one to learn how to tell if your child has been sexually abused and what next steps to take.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Watch for Signs in Children
Step 1. Identify if your child is exhibiting unusual introverted behavior
If your child is usually open and cheerful, but suddenly becomes shy and introverted, it may be a sign that something is wrong. In many cases, children who are victims of abuse feel embarrassed or confused about what is happening, and because they don't know how to express their feelings, they can only suppress it. Try to see if your child seems quieter than usual.
A child may become withdrawn for reasons other than sexual abuse, such as being a victim of bullying, going through a phase involving a parent's divorce, or other events. However, a change in attitude in your child should be taken as a warning sign that sexual abuse is possible, especially if you notice other warning signs in your child
Step 2. Watch for regressive behavior which refers to the behavior of younger children in your child
If your child suddenly exhibits age-appropriate behavior (eg your child acts like a child), you need to be very careful. If you can rule out the factors that contributed to the attitude change, such as bullying or other forms of stress, it's possible that the change was due to sexual harassment. There are a few examples of behavior to watch out for:
- Bedwetting (if it occurs at an inappropriate age)
- Throwing tantrums or showing aggressive behavior for no apparent reason
- Can't escape you and cry if you have to leave after dropping him off at school or to daycare
Step 3. Watch for nightmares or other sleep problems in your child
Most children experience nightmares or trouble sleeping (insomnia) only occasionally. This means that if your child has trouble sleeping for only a few days, you don't have to worry too much. However, if your child has frequent nightmares, cries when he comes out of his room at night and can't get back to sleep in his room, you need to be aware of this.
Step 4. Watch for inappropriate play behavior in your child
Sometimes, children who are sexually abused exhibit violence on toys or other children. You may see your child exhibiting sexual behavior and have no idea where he or she learned or learned the behavior from. Pay attention to how your child plays with toys and other children, and don't ignore it if you see anything out of the ordinary.
- For example, a child who is sexually abused may touch a doll or its toys in an inappropriate way, or show this behavior to other children.
- Your child may also say vulgar words or phrases that were never taught before.
- It is natural for children to touch their vital organs because, naturally, they are curious about their bodies and want to know more about their bodies. However, if they appear to be displaying mature behavior when touching their genitals (eg masturbating, because children don't touch theirs for gratification), this may be something you need to be aware of.
Step 5. Watch for changes in his personality
If your child usually seems cheerful and talkative, and he suddenly starts to act shy and introverted, it may be a sign that he is being abused or abused. A shy child may show anger and behavior that he doesn't normally display. Pay close attention to mood swings in your child that (likely) are not caused by logical reasons.
Step 6. Watch your child's reactions to the people and places he or she meets or visits
Does your child have fear or show discomfort when he is in certain places or around certain people? If your child suddenly runs off and hides, becomes very quiet, or starts crying when around certain people, this may be a warning sign.
- Some children are shy. However, you need to know the difference between shyness and the unusual fear that your child may react to someone.
- Pay attention to whether your child shows an unnatural reluctance to visit certain places, such as school, piano class, a relative's house, and so on.
Step 7. Look for any physical signs your child may have
Physical signs that refer to the occurrence of sexual violence can be said to be rare, because the perpetrators often do not want to leave a trace. However, it is important for you to be aware of the physical signs of violence or sexual harassment so that you can immediately recognize the condition when you see it. There are several physical signs of child sexual abuse or violence:
- Sores, discoloration, bleeding or discharge from the mouth, vital organs or anus
- Wounds when urinating or bowel movements occur
- Bruises around vital organs
Step 8. Understand normal and inappropriate sexual behavior
For example, reasonable sexual behavior for children aged 0 to 5 years, among others, is:
- Using children's language to talk about body parts
- Shows curiosity about how babies are created
- Touching or rubbing his vital organs
- Having curiosity about his own vital organs
Method 2 of 3: Talking to Your Child
Step 1. Help your child feel comfortable talking
Violence or abuse is a very difficult topic of conversation for both children and adults to discuss, so it's important that you discuss it in an environment where your child feels comfortable. Wait until you and your child don't have to go anywhere, then choose a place that feels safe and comfortable, such as the family kitchen or workspace. Let your child know that you want to ask him some questions, and that whatever answers he gives, he won't get in trouble.
- Don't bring up or bring up the topic of sexual harassment in front of anyone you don't really trust. Also, don't bring up the topic in front of anyone you suspect is the abuser, including the child's family members.
- It is important that you are completely non-judgmental and make sure the discussion goes smoothly and calmly. Don't belittle or take things that are said lightly, or show anger, even if your anger is directed at the situation, not your child.
Step 2. Ask your child if anyone has touched his or her body inappropriately
If he feels comfortable, bring the topic of conversation directly, but in a gentle way. Ask if anyone has touched it inappropriately. Use the words you and your child would normally use to refer to parts of the body that other people shouldn't touch.
- If your child answers “Yes”, encourage him to want to tell you more about the incident. Keep asking questions, of course in a non-judgmental way.
- Keep in mind that sometimes sexual abuse doesn't leave a bad impression on children. Therefore, the use of words such as “Did someone hurt you?” or “Did someone touch you roughly?” may not have much effect on your child. Ask more specific questions.
Step 3. Ask about the inappropriate behavior your child is exhibiting
For example, you could say that you notice your child looking frightened whenever you take him to daycare, or when someone comes to visit. If your child is showing introverted, shy, or aggressive behavior, ask why he is behaving the way he is. Name the behaviors specifically and ask your child to say what made him behave the way he did.
Step 4. Discuss the concept of secrets with your child
Sometimes, sexual abusers force their victims to promise to keep secrets about what happened and, perhaps, threaten their victims to keep their mouths shut. If your child says he's asked to keep secrets, tell him that adults shouldn't tell kids to keep secrets. Explain to him that sometimes it's a good idea to keep a secret, and show him that he won't be in any trouble for telling the secret.
Step 5. Tell your child that he can always come over and tell you what he's going through
It's important that you help make your child feel comfortable and not judged when he or she is talking to you. Tell him that you want to help him and make him feel comfortable out of harm's way, regardless of what happens to him. If you are able to establish a trusting relationship with your child, there is a good chance he or she will come and tell you if at any time they have been sexually abused or abused.
Method 3 of 3: Protecting Your Child
Step 1. Identify what constitutes violence
Violence against children takes many forms, and it is important that you know how to recognize these forms of violence. Not all sexual violence is physical, so if your child isn't actually being abused, he or she may still be in danger. Below are some examples of violence or harassment that can occur:
- Touching the child's vital organs to get sexual satisfaction
- Asking children to touch other people's vital organs (both adults and children)
- Showing pornographic photos or videos to children
- Taking photos of children in an indecent way
- Showing the vital organs of adults to children and encouraging children to perform sexual acts
Step 2. Teach your child that some parts of the body are not allowed to be touched or seen by others
Teach your child from an early age about the parts of the body that no one but himself should touch. Many parents teach that these body parts are body parts that must be covered by a bathrobe (or towel). Teach your child that if someone tries to touch these areas, he or she should say “No” and immediately tell you that someone wants to touch them.
Some parents use the “good physical contact, bad physical contact, covert physical contact” method to teach their children how to touch other people. Good physical contact is allowed physical contact, such as a high five. Poor physical contact is contact that injures, such as a kick or punch. Secret physical contact is contact that involves the child to keep a secret. Tell your child to notify you immediately of any bad physical contact or covert physical contact
Step 3. Build a trusting relationship with your child
Children are more likely to tell their parents if they are not afraid that they will have trouble telling things. They should also feel that their parents believe what they say. Start building a positive, trusting relationship with your child so he knows that, no matter what happens, you will always be there to help him.
If your child shares a problem-even one that isn't related to violence or sexual abuse-don't ignore it. Always pay attention to your child and help him find solutions to the problems he is facing
Step 4. Build a daily habit of chatting
One important way to keep communication open with your child is to have regular chats. You may have a tight schedule and have to go to work, but try to make time each day to ask how your child is doing. Stay informed about your child's activities, who he spends most of his time with, and how he feels on a daily basis. That way, if something odd happens, you'll know it right away.
Make sure your child has emotional support. Children who do not get much attention from their parents at home are more susceptible to sexual violence or abuse
Step 5. Immerse yourself in your child's school world and attend activities he or she participates in
Perpetrators of sexual abuse usually stalk children who seem to have little attention or supervision from parents. Attend competitions, sports exercises, art exercises and field trips that your child participates in. If you need to leave your child with someone else, make sure you know and trust that person, whether it's a family member, teacher, coach, or family friend.
Step 6. Take action when your child reports sexual abuse
If your child tells you that he or she has been sexually abused, don't ignore the report-even if the news really took you by surprise. Remember that sexual abusers are people your child knows and trusts. Only 10% of the people your child knows are considered strangers to him or her. If you have a reason that someone is abusing or abusing your child, take the following steps:
- Keep your child away from abusers or abusers.
- Call emergency services and report the abuser to the authorities. Contact child protection services for more information on how to report abuse or abuse.
- Provide medical care for your child. It is important that you take your child to the doctor to find out if he has been injured or physically abused.
- Take your child to a counseling session. Psychological trauma from sexual violence often lasts longer than physical trauma. The therapy that follows can help your child find ways to deal with the trauma.
