Sometimes when women aren't interested in a man's flirtation, they just have to say "no" to get him to back down. However, there are some men who still try to approach. In such cases, you may feel very uncomfortable or even insecure. This article presents how to deal with a guy who won't accept rejection.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Dealing via Internet and Phone
Step 1. Explain that you are not interested
Since everyone has a smartphone, tablet or laptop, technology has become one of the main ways to communicate. Social media networks, internet forums, dating sites, and chat rooms are the tools used by odd men who don't want to accept rejection. On one of these sites, you may have made friends with other users who said or did things that made you uncomfortable. You have every right to ask him to stay away.
Make it clear that you are no longer interested in chatting or making contact. Ask him to stop contacting you. You should ask bluntly, such as "Could you please stop contacting me?"
Step 2. Block his contact with you
If you've clearly and firmly asked him to stop contacting you, but he doesn't heed, the next step is to block him from your social media profiles or chat rooms. You can block him by removing him from your friends or followers status.
- Search for all the networks you've been in contact with, then block them from seeing their profile and contacting you.
- There are two easy ways to block a contact on Facebook. You can go to this person's profile and select Block from the "…" menu. You can also click the lock symbol on your profile. The option "How do I get people to stop bothering me?" will appear. Select this option, and then enter the name or email address of the user you want to block.
Step 3. Contact the site administrator
If you need help blocking an impolite user, you can always ask the administrator of any website you're using. Usually, the customer service agent will rush to block the person so they won't be able to contact you again.
Step 4. Change your email address
If you have already provided the person with the email address or if it is listed in the user's account, you may need to change it. However, if he's never contacted you via email, you might still be able to use it.
Step 5. Look for evidence of cyberstalking
If he or she is stalking you on the internet, you must collect any inappropriate messages, emails, photos or other means of contact from that person to show the authorities. If you're not sure if your case includes cyberstalking, consider the following aspects. Cyberstalking occurs when someone:
- Monitor your computer or internet usage, or your activity on social media
- Posting inappropriate photos or spreading rumors about you on the internet
- Threatening to hurt you or your loved ones
- Texting or calling you even if you don't want him to do it
- Send viruses or content that can damage your computer or mobile phone.
Step 6. Engage the police
If blocking the person or seeking help from the administrator of a chat room or social media site doesn't solve the problem, you need to seek legal assistance. Call the police and explain the situation, and provide evidence to help with your case.
Method 2 of 3: Face-to-face
Step 1. Assess whether he or she is indeed a threat
If he doesn't heed your request, it's a red light, but how serious the situation is depends on the circumstances. Best case scenario, he misunderstood. Worst case scenario, he was indeed dangerous. You always have the right to refuse, but consider what kind of refusal is safe.
Learn how to read emotions. A loud or harsh tone of voice can indicate the person is angry or irritated. Facial cues can indicate the same thing, such as raised eyebrows, enlarged nostrils, as well as harsh, piercing stares. If you notice any of these signs, try to end the interaction as soon as possible or move away from where others can see it
Step 2. Listen to your instincts
If you feel this guy is going to hurt you or make you very uncomfortable, you may be right. If you think he's harmless and just misunderstood, maybe you're right too. The better option is looking safe. You certainly don't want to be hurt.
Learn to trust your instincts. How do you feel when you are close to this person? Is your heart beating fast from being alert? Are your hands clenched? Are you holding your breath? These are all body signs that indicate the person is making you uncomfortable, even if he or she is smiling
Step 3. Be careful if you feel bad vibrations or feel afraid of him
A direct confrontation may escalate, so don't push him away right away. He may threaten you or turn violent. Trust your instincts and find ways to end the interaction or involve the other person.
For example, you might look at your watch and suddenly say you are late for a meeting or appointment. In this way, you can detach yourself from the person. It also shows that someone is waiting for you and will worry if you are late
Step 4. Go to a safer place if he starts to push
There are some men who become violent, threatening, or violent if they are constantly rejected. However, it is unlikely that he will turn violent if there are many witnesses and you can turn to the onlookers for help.
- Crowded places are much safer than quiet places.
- Get the attention of other women you see. Many women can recognize the signs that a woman is being bullied by a man, and they can help or ask for outside help.
Step 5. Look for an authority figure
If this guy won't listen to you, he may listen to someone in a position of power, such as a boss, bartender, or teacher. He might as well receive threats of consequences if he didn't back down.
At work and school, you have the right to focus on your work and studies in an environment free from violence and threats
Step 6. Try to avoid it
See if polite excuses can help you break free. Say, "I have to finish this project," or "It's getting late," or "See you later." Most people know that if they follow you, they will look like a scary stalker, so chances are this guy won't be following you either.
If he's following you, go to a public place, an authority figure, or the police
Step 7. Ask for support from friends, coworkers, or passers-by
If he doesn't heed your explicit requests, then you should ask for outside help. Describe your situation and ask for help to get you out of the situation.
- If he pressures you in public, start crying or say no. If he's trying to disguise your resistance by acting like he's trying to cheer you up, encourage him. People will see that he is bothering you, and they will come to his aid.
- If he grabs your hand after refusing to leave, you can scream. Shout loudly and non-stop until he leaves or someone comes.
Step 8. Get help from the police if necessary
A man who is extremely stubborn or violent may leave you with no choice but an arrest warrant or a harassment charge. You have the right to go about your day without having to worry about what he's going to do, and you have the right to live a quiet life.
Method 3 of 3: Protecting Yourself in the Future
If you don't want to be a nuisance target, there are certain things you can do to help save yourself. The following tips can reduce the risk, but do not guarantee safety and it is not your fault if you are not vigilant at times. The dangerous man's actions are entirely his own fault, not yours.
Step 1. Learn basic self-defense techniques
Defending yourself doesn't just mean fighting back. Self-defense includes the ability to be aware of your surroundings, consider options when in danger, exercise assertiveness, and reduce tension in threatening situations. In reality, fighting back can actually make a guy like this angry and you'll end up getting injured. So, try taking a self-defense class to learn how to avoid violence and protect yourself in such situations.
In a critical situation, your main goal is to find a safe place. If you have no choice but to use physical means, attack the most incapacitating body part, and thus, you have time to run. Try hitting, punching, or kicking the assailant in the eye, nose, throat, groin, or knee
Step 2. Maintain self-control
Using alcohol or drugs around people who make you uncomfortable will weaken your position. In situations like this, your defenses drop, and you're less likely to be able to read your environment and anticipate threats. So, do not approach alcohol and drugs.
Men who don't want to accept rejection usually want to be in control. If there's alcohol or drugs in the place, you're unintentionally giving him control to get you drunk so he can force his will on you
Step 3. Find out what information about you is circulating on the internet
Many social media profiles feature phone numbers and email addresses, and that opens the way for pranksters to contact you. So, change your privacy settings so that personal information is only shown to people you trust (or not at all). Also, consider what you upload to the internet. People who want to annoy you will find you more easily if you always display all the locations visited.
Step 4. Avoid going to lonely places with people you don't know
If you meet a new guy on a blind date, choose a public place and meet him at that location, don't give him your address. Make sure other people know where you are at all times. If you can, try to arrange to meet in groups or double dates so you have friends with you.
Step 5. Remember that all acts of violence are always the assailant's fault, not you
He is responsible for acting like a good human being, not one to be wary of and feared all the time. If the situation gets worse and you get hurt, it's not your fault. You have the right to refuse, and he's at fault if he doesn't respect your refusal.
Tips
- If you have a dog, take it with you every time you go for a walk in the park or where you can take dogs.
- Bring a bat in case you need to defend yourself. Practice first so you know how to use it in an emergency.
- Don't tell him where you live or let him into your house. If he is dangerous and knows where you live, install a home security system. Explain to the police what happened and have them keep an eye on your home.
